This memorial website was created in memory of an angel, Joanne Tessar, 67, born on December 31, 1946 and passed away on March 18, 2014. We will remember her compassion, kindness, and never ending love forever.
Watch her memorial video in the video section of this page or click here:
https://youtu.be/496fW88IboY
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Please leave a post at the bottom of this page if you wish or
tell a little story of your own about Joanne on the story page: Joanne’s Stories
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Tributes
Leave a tributeCan you believe Dad is still doing great on his own for 10 years without you making his meals and cleaning his clothes??? I hate to tell you, but the house is a mess. I guess you knew that would happen though, haha. He laughs when we talk about it, and when we all joke about the great times we spent together. He still wears his wedding ring. He actually cried about that last night when we were remembering you (Jeff, Dad, & me). Then we all laughed again at some silly memories. It was another great time, the three of us remembering you.
This morning, as I lay in bed, I was remembering the porcelain bird. Its an overwhelming bookmark in my mind of the power of giving. You were SO happy when I gave it to you. It was the first time I used my own money to buy you something without you knowing. I don't think you know this, but I rode my bike a bit beyond the neighborhood boundaries you set for me in order to find that little garage sale. I laid my tiny bike down and there it was. I knew that bird should be yours Mom but at the time, I didn't know that the bird would help shape my life.
The nice ol' lady told me how expensive it was but it didn't care, I rode all the way home to get 25 cents from my room and rode fast as I could back so noone else would buy it. You unwrapped the newspaper it was rolled up in with such surprise. You were so truly happy. You made me so truly happy with your reaction. That hug, that day, that feeling... it was that moment, Mom. I've wanted to have that same feeling every second I breath. I hope you are proud of me as I continue to give everything I own, and everything I am to the people I love and to people I don't even know. As long as you shine the light, I'll know where to go (where to give) and, just like I promised you, I'll keep going until you hand me my wings.
Welp, just wanted say hi and also say THANKS MOM. You know....
Every day that passes we miss you and think about your beautiful heart. Your smile lights up the sky and we know you are watching over us each day.
Always in our hearts.
Sending Love,
Shelby Tessar
Today we share a memorable birthday. It's hard to believe we're 75 years old. Although I am struggling with pain right now and my face looks weary and tired, I don't believe I look 75. (Maybe 95, but certainly not 75!)
My plans for today were to have my girls come to my house, then we'd go off to the mall because that is always a treat for me. We'd shop, have lunch, and then shop some more. But, Jeanna is sick again, just as on Christmas. Joanna is coming over to hang out and chill while we watch something on TV that should give us a few laughs.
I hope your plans for today include going to Target and knocking over several aisles of once nicely arranged items, going to DD and leaving half your food on the floor, and opening up gifts, lots of them, which you always loved doing.
Without you here with me, my life feels so unsafe, so void, so lonely. But my girls help to fill the void and loneliness. They miss you as well. This too shall pass and we'll move into a new year with new hopes, expectations, and the great desire of a peaceful world. I love you my sister and I continue to be only half a twin in your absence. Until we meet in the arms of Jesus, let us keep in mind the wonderful memories we shared over our lifetime together. Happy Birthday. I Love you, Judy
We're all doing great here on the new ranch in Tennessee. Dad is building all types of bridges and decks to make the ranch look great. Jeff is watching over Dad or maybe Dad is watching over Jeff. Lol. We miss you in so many ways but somehow feel like you're here with us. You are a big reason why we moved to the peace of the country. Thank you for you're guiding light Mom. As you watch over us, I hope we make you laugh with all our mishaps and missteps. A Birthday laugh would always get the rest of us cracking up. I am smiling thinking about it. I love you Mom.
The other day, I downloaded a song by Casting Crowns that I now sing to you each time that I play it. You alone can understand what it feels life to lose the closest being in your life and attempt to live (exist) without it. How I could use your presence now, when there is so much to deal with on this journey of living with cancer. I remember each part of your journey from the day we were told your tumor was malignant to the day you left us. I remember each step along the way and how we comforted each other with all the pain in between. Please let me feel your presence now as I struggle to move forward. I need your presence, your listening heart, your comfort, your love. The song I mentioned before brings solace to my soul. It is called "The only scars in Heaven are on the hands that hold you now" by Casting Crowns. I love you and know that the time is short before I see you. Then, I too, will be without scars. Judy
Every time I go to this site and see your picture, I feel a shock to my heart like it's the first time I see your face. I hope you are happy in heaven and looking down on my girls and me. We planned to go to St. Thomas More today, but Joanna felt sick so the girls and I will visit next Tuesday. I got my second shot for Covid today, so I should be good to party! I also saw my cardiologist and I have Mitral Valve Prolapsed Syndrome. You know what that means, so I don't need to describe it. I know you'll pray for me for that. I will continue with chemo for at least another three to four months. I miss you so much, especially on this cancer journey. It's so lonely without you next to me. It has a physical effect and definitely an emotional one. I know you see what's been going on and that I am doing everything possible to help my girls. Joanna and Jeff are looking for a house and Jeanna, in time, will look for a condo/townhouse. Sometimes, I get down and wonder how long I will live. I'm not afraid of dying, I just want to know that Joanna and Jeanna will be ok. That is what I pray for, and I ask you to please keep your candle burning.
A side effect of having this kind of cancer is that it destroys the body and causes pain everywhere. I'm complaining, forgive me. I will get through it all and be strong again. I love you and miss you more than I can ever explain. I started this Tribute earlier today, but had hundreds of interruptions. But it's 11 PM, so here it comes, directly to my loving and savior sister whom I miss with all my heart and soul. I love you, 'bootsie.' Your 'bonesie,' and loving sister, Judy
Today is only a half special day because you are not physically here to celebrate it with me. I ponder you're sitting at the Father's Banquet Table surrounded by those who came before you while all are singing Happy Birthday. I see you smiling at the enormous birthday cake before you and taking in the air to blow out all the candles! You look so happy. I am happy for you. I know that you wish me a happy birthday, too. Today, I will be in and out of thoughts about you and pray that you are happy and at peace (a prayer that I say each day as I have set a timer on my phone to remind me to say on your behalf.) At midnight, as 2020 passes and 2021 ushers in, all will have great hope for a better, more loving, and peaceful year. Gather your heavenly friends and pray for your brothers and sisters on earth that God will be more inclusive in our lives and the world will be a better place. I love you so sincerely, my Bootsie, always have and always will. Your Bonesie, Judy
Thought about you so much today. Thought about your silly stories and it made me laugh. Thought about the funny faces you make when you're trying not to laugh in the middle of someone else's story and that made me laugh also. Glad you're still with me on these special days. Thanks :)
I love you Mom!
Happy 6th Birthday in your new home. I am glad that you are not part of what is going on down here on earth. Everything has changed since your passing. People have gotten controversial, mean, and unwilling to change their attitudes. We have had tornadoes, tsunamis, earthquakes, mass killings, and the disharmony of man. We have diseases that cannot be cured, a hunger that cannot be satisfied, homelessness that cannot be honored, and more of man's inhumanity to man. People don't forgive people, nor do they choose to understand each other when relationships end. I am sad, Joanne. As my girls grow and have their own lives, I am less interested in relationships. They are too difficult and people never take into consideration the weight of one's heart. At the rate this world is going and the things that continue to occur, I think I will be seeing you soon. We will walk together through the pearly gate holding hands and we will be together again, forever. I will write again. I love you so deeply and miss you as well. Judy
I'm sure you had a great Mother's Day yesterday. Especially reading the tribute from your dear son, Jackey. He texted me good wishes and it was emotional. My girls and I went to the Mall yesterday, walked in and out of stores and got something to eat. The girls took pictures and whatever was said had the three of us hysterical with laughter. When I looked at the picture, I saw your face. I heard your laughter (along with the wheeze and snorts!) I know you would have laughed along with us. I miss you terribly and love you even more. I am trying to live without the security of you in my life. I know that in time we will be reunited and never, ever be separated again. Love you and miss you. Hugs and kisses, Judy
Went to Dunkin today. Had a blueberry muffin, told a bad joke and remembered your laugh. Thanks for "being with me" today.
I love you!
This morning, Jeanna and I attended the 8 AM Mass said especially for you on this the 5th year of your passing. Joanna's heart was with you, but she was at work. I need not tell you what it has been like over the past five years, you already know. I still look for your shining star every night. The nights that I see it, I am certain it is you. It is comforting to know you are looking over my girls and me. I'm getting closer to Heaven the older I get, and I look forward to reuniting with you, to feel whole again, and to leave the despair of this current world. Nothing is the same. But, each day, I set out to do good things that my Heavenly Father asks of me. I hope He is pleased with me. I hope you too are pleased and proud. I love you, Joanne, and I know the time will come when we will be reunited. Until then, I long to touch your face and kiss your cheek. My heart is with you. Love, Judy
"Joanne"
Take my hand, stay Joanne
Heaven's not
Ready for you
Every part
Of my aching heart
Needs you more
Than the angels do
Girl
Where do you think you're goin'?
Where do you think you're goin'
Goin', girl?
Girl
Where do you think you're goin'?
Where do you think you're goin'
Goin', girl?
If you could
I know that you'd stay
We both know
Things don't work that way
I promised I
Wouldn't say goodbye
So I grin
And my voice gets thin
Girl
Where do you think you're goin'?
Where do you think you're goin'
Goin', girl?
Girl
Where do you think you're goin'?
Where do you think you're goin'
Goin', girl?
Honestly, I know where you're goin'
And baby, you're just movin' on
And I'll still love you even if I can't
See you anymore
Can't wait to see you soar
Girl
Where do you think you're goin'?
Where do you think you're goin'
Goin', girl?
Girl
Where do you think you're goin'?
Where do you think you're goin'
Goin', girl?
Next week, on Thursday, May 19th, I am having surgery on my neck. Just like you had when you were with us. Discs will be removed, bone put in its place, and then a metal piece with screws will keep it all together. Joanne, I remember your surgery for the exact thing. I wish you were at my bedside holding my hand and telling me everything will be okay. I know it will turn out fine and that it is in the Heavenly Father's hands, and that is where it belongs. I will think of you and secretly hold your hand like we did so many times hiding behind the curtain when we were so little. I know you will be there in spirit and that in some way I will feel your presence. I offer my pain, discomfort, and fears for you that you are happily living in Our Father's mansion and that your adjoining room waits for my presence. I miss you so much that it hurts badly and the fear of living without you comes to me daily. But, with you and the Heavenly Father looking over me, I can only rejoice in that glory. Don't forget, next Thursday! Be there or be square! I love you dearly. Judy
Today was a great family day. We tried to bring Shelby breakfast in bed the way I always did for you and it worked out about the same as it always has. Haily carried the tray with fruit, toast with peanut butter, flowers, and a glass of water while Sidney carried TWO bouquets of flowers. I played some touching Mother's day music on my phone while we entered the room so gracefully.
Unfortunately, just steps from the bed, Haily spazzed out and the tray went flying! Peanut butter toast stuck to the brand new carpet while blueberries & raspberries sprang loose and rolled wildly. Water and flowers spilled through the air as Haily fell to the floor trying to stop the catastrophe but flailing arms and high pitch screens don't often prevent disaster.
We all laughed so hard that tiers ran down our cheeks. I can just hear you laughing as I tell you of our mishaps Mom. I love that laugh. I even stopped at Dunkin Donuts for a coffee and thought of you the whole time. I felt you with me today and that made it so very special.
I hope today was special for you watching all the family love and joy you helped to create.
I love you Mom... Thiiiiiiis much.
~Jackey
Two years ago, my heart was broken so badly that I did not want to go on, I just wanted to be with you. That has not changed. What has changed is my heart is being mended by and through Jesus and I am learning how to put my faith and trust in Him. I had a special Mass said for you today and I was happy to offer myself and my love for your happiness. I know you are with our Heavenly Father and His love is all around you. I will know that love when I join you, in the Father's time and not mine. My Angel Girl got so sick and had to be put down in January. It was so painful. Last week my Spirit Boy could not go on suffering from bladder cancer, so he was put down on Monday. Then, most shockingly, Sheba got severe diabetes and had to be put down on Wednesday, two days later. I just picked up their ashes last night. I really had such a painful time accepting those loses. But, again, I am accepting God's will for me and trying to make the best of my sadness. Lots have happened over the past two years and I will tell you all about when I join you. I've been in touch with your boys and your husband and they are doing okay as well. Of course, they miss you greatly. But, your little Nemo is now back in your arms and I am happy for him and for you. Pray for me my sweetheart, you know how difficult life can be. I am doing my part as God would want me. I am not nearly perfect, but I try hard. I love you Joanne and every single day and every single night, I look for you in the heavens. Sometimes, I think I see signs of you there and my heart is filled with joy. If you can, like you promised, please show yourself in the farthest star so that I know it is you looking over me. A kiss for now and a goodbye for a short time. God will take me home soon, I pray, and I will see you again. I will see Diana, whom my heart breaks for, and Mary Ellen who owes me a Dunkin Donut visit. Tell them and yourself, I love all of you. Hugs, Kisses, and lots of love my sister. My heart is with you.
Giving up your identity to become "Mom" was your amazing sacrifice to Jeff and me. The way I carry myself as a man, raise 5 loving kids, treat other people, and show respect is my enduring tribute to you.
It's been 2 years since I've seen you with my eyes or touched you with my hands but I feel you in my heart every day. THANKS MOM.... I hope I make you proud, I love you. ~Jackey
Thanks for being the greatest Mom ever! Can't sleep thinking about you... I miss you and I love you so much. ~Jackey
My Mom passed a year ago today. A life without your Mom is different. I remember Mother’s day at Dunkin Donuts, Thanksgiving with her favorite big turkey leg, Christmas with special gifts for everyone (her favorite day of the year!), and my birthday parties.
All of life’s special days are different without my Mom but all of her love and life lessons remain. They remain in the way I carry myself as a man, a husband, a father, a son, in everything I do, and the way I treat everyone I know. I am the man I am today because of my Mom…
I love you with all my heart Mom.
Thank you my dear sister for ''dancing" in the heavens. I sat at the memorial I made for you in my backyard. I looked to the heavens and saw the star you promised me would identify you. I looked at it, still and bright there in the heavens, and then when I asked you to dance so I would know it was you, you danced! When I took Joanna and Jeanna outside to see it, they looked up at asked me, "That one Mommy?" I said yes, and that I would ask you to dance for them. And, again, you danced and we three cried to know that you heard us. I look every night since you are gone. And every night you dance for me as soon as I ask you. I am having a hard time my sweet trying to live without you. I am so horribly empty and sad. I want to be with you and I am asking God to take me home. When He does, please meet me at the gate so that I can enter it with you at my side. I can't stop crying Joanne and I am empty without you. Please tell God to come for me, I am ready right now to join you. I love you and miss you. Bonesy (Judy)
My condolences to her loving family!
Shared by Judy Pelio on 03/19/2014
Dear Joanne,
Now that Jesus has taken you to Himself, provided you with a room in His Kingdom, and invited you to His Banquet Table, I will forever strive to join you. I am a half of twin now and I no longer feel part of this world without you in it. Prepare a room for me my sweet sister and make certain that the room is next to yours. It is only one day since you passed and already I am struggling to survive in your absence. I just wonder if it is possible to live without you. My heart is so broken and my dreams are no longer important. I am screaming out your name and I yearn to feel the warmth of your sweet face. My grief is inconsolable and I want to call you to tell you how sad I am. I want to know that you are safe and happy and free of all pain. I want to see you smile and hear you laugh and watch you enjoy yourself.
I know that your body is being prepared for your wake and that in a few days I will look at a shell that once resembled me, I will look at a face that had the identical features of mine, and I will look at your body that was worn down to half the weight it once was by the cancer that overtook it. I will be overtaken with the physical pain of our separation and the emotional consequences of losing my twin. And, I will know that only an identical twin will understand my pain. You, Joanne, understand my pain and I will cry out to you to ask Jesus to take me home so that we can be together again. So that we can be Twinnies again and save each other from the pain and fear of those long ago memories that almost took our lives. No one will ever understand that part of our lives when we protected and saved each other from the injustices that we experienced. Thank you my Joanne for saving my life, for easing my fears, and for trying to take away my pain. Please help me now because I am having so much trouble breathing and my heart is overcome with grief. My pain is overwhelming because half of me is gone and I will not get it back until we are reunited in the Kingdom of God.
I will never, ever forget anything about you. Your loving nature and your desire to ‘fix’ all the broken hearts in the world. Your lit candles, which asked for the mercy of God for all those people in pain. Your kind words of encouragement and stoic nature to keep on keeping on until everyone’s pain was gone. You were so much kinder to everyone than you ever were to yourself. I want you to know “that you’re my hero, you’re everything that I wanted to be, and I will fly higher than an eagle, because YOU were the wind beneath my wings.” Goodbye my love and I will join you when God calls me home. Love you forever, Judy
Leave a Tribute
Can you believe Dad is still doing great on his own for 10 years without you making his meals and cleaning his clothes??? I hate to tell you, but the house is a mess. I guess you knew that would happen though, haha. He laughs when we talk about it, and when we all joke about the great times we spent together. He still wears his wedding ring. He actually cried about that last night when we were remembering you (Jeff, Dad, & me). Then we all laughed again at some silly memories. It was another great time, the three of us remembering you.
This morning, as I lay in bed, I was remembering the porcelain bird. Its an overwhelming bookmark in my mind of the power of giving. You were SO happy when I gave it to you. It was the first time I used my own money to buy you something without you knowing. I don't think you know this, but I rode my bike a bit beyond the neighborhood boundaries you set for me in order to find that little garage sale. I laid my tiny bike down and there it was. I knew that bird should be yours Mom but at the time, I didn't know that the bird would help shape my life.
The nice ol' lady told me how expensive it was but it didn't care, I rode all the way home to get 25 cents from my room and rode fast as I could back so noone else would buy it. You unwrapped the newspaper it was rolled up in with such surprise. You were so truly happy. You made me so truly happy with your reaction. That hug, that day, that feeling... it was that moment, Mom. I've wanted to have that same feeling every second I breath. I hope you are proud of me as I continue to give everything I own, and everything I am to the people I love and to people I don't even know. As long as you shine the light, I'll know where to go (where to give) and, just like I promised you, I'll keep going until you hand me my wings.
Welp, just wanted say hi and also say THANKS MOM. You know....
Please be patient.
Please be patient.
Dear sister, Joanne, my Twin
Happy Birthday, My Sister, My Twin
My dear Joanne, I hope the Banquet Table is set, your loved ones in their chairs, and your God and his heavenly angels are there celebrating your Birthday. Today is our birthday and I have managed these birthdays without you for four years. I cannot see the candles, I cannot hear the singing, and I cannot feel the happiness that usually comes with a birthday celebration. We never spent one birthday without each other until you went home with your Savior. I am happy for you that your struggle is over, your pain is gone, and your new life has given you the peace you so dearly deserved.
Today, I will go to church and then settle in for the dropping of the Times Square symbol of the coming of another year. Life does go on, there is no choice. I am doing the best I can, you know my struggles. I have had a busy year volunteering at church, volunteering at an animal rescue, teaching first graders their religion, contributing to my writing group's new book, and waiting for my Heavenly Father to tell me it's time. For now, I am busy here trying to do what is expected of me as a Christian, a Mother, and as a friend. Today, I will also remember the happy times you and I spent together. The silly, funny, and sometimes inappropriate things we did that caused us to choke laughing. Those are the things that will make my birthday special. My girls will add their love and happiness and birthday specialties to make my birthday truly happy despite your absence. Knowing we will be together again is what helps me patiently wait until my Heavenly Father calls for me.
For now, I wish you a very happy birthday as you see the candles lit, hear the heavenly angels sing their hymns, and laugh as only you can put choking and laughter in one long breath. Too funny. I love you so much, a truly and deeply. Judy
A Journey of Life
I made a 9 minute video to tell my Mom's story: "A Journey of Life"
It's my tribute. It tells the story of my Mom's journey through pictures and video clips and it means so very much to me.
I wish that I could do so much more. I wish I could produce a huge movie that would tell the life's tale of Joanne Tessar, the most caring, conciderate, thoughtful person on earth. This video is the very best I could do and I know what Mom would say...
"It's perfect my sweetheart. I love it so much and I'm very proud of you."
I love you too Mom.