My dear Joanne, I hope the Banquet Table is set, your loved ones in their chairs, and your God and his heavenly angels are there celebrating your Birthday.  Today is our birthday and I have managed these birthdays without you for four years.  I cannot see the candles, I cannot hear the singing, and I cannot feel the happiness that usually comes with a birthday celebration. We never spent one birthday without each other until you went home with your Savior.  I am happy for you that your struggle is over, your pain is gone, and your new life has given you the peace you so dearly deserved.  

     Today, I will go to church and then settle in for the dropping of the Times Square symbol of the coming of another year.  Life does go on, there is no choice.  I am doing the best I can, you know my struggles.  I have had a busy year volunteering at church, volunteering at an animal rescue, teaching first graders their religion, contributing to my writing group's new book, and waiting for my Heavenly Father to tell me it's time. For now, I am busy here trying to do what is expected of me as a Christian, a Mother, and as a friend.  Today, I will also remember the happy times you and I spent together.  The silly, funny, and sometimes inappropriate things we did that caused us to choke laughing.  Those are the things that will make my birthday special.  My girls will add their love and happiness and birthday specialties to make my birthday truly happy despite your absence.  Knowing we will be together again is what helps me patiently wait until my Heavenly Father calls for me.

     For now, I wish you a very happy birthday as you see the candles lit, hear the heavenly angels sing their hymns, and laugh as only you can put choking and laughter in one long breath.  Too funny.  I love you so much, a truly and deeply.  Judy

I made a 9 minute video to tell my Mom's story: "A Journey of Life" 

It's my tribute. It tells the story of my Mom's journey through pictures and video clips and it means so very much to me.

I wish that I could do so much more. I wish I could produce a huge movie that would tell the life's tale of Joanne Tessar, the most caring, conciderate, thoughtful person on earth. This video is the very best I could do and I know what Mom would say...

"It's perfect my sweetheart. I love it so much and I'm very proud of you."
 
I love you too Mom. 

Joanne was a beautiful person inside and out - her caring and loving nature was so encouraging to those who needed to be loved and shown kindess to - your smile was warm - your understanding nature and funny jokes was what I needed many a times - times when I would call you up to see how you were to "lift you up" but instead you"lifted me up"- putting aside your aches and pains - always putting the other person before yourself - always finding the good in others -

I will always remember the times we shared over the years at the New York Telephone Company - we had good and funny times - 

I so appreciated your kindness - as I think back over the years, I can see your smiling face - we were pretty close in those years - but then you moved and I moved but years later we ended up in Florida - reunited again - even though we did not see each other we kept in touch - the "friendship love" we had made it seem like we had never been separated - we just picked up from that point and kept the "friendship" going.

I will surely miss our conversations. Even though you are not with me now, I somehow, as I think of you and remember, I feel like I can hear you saying "all is well" and yes "all is well" you are with the Lord and one day I will see you again.

Your loving Friend,
Sakina Santiago

Mom,

If God would grant me just one more chance to thank you for all you have done for me in this life, I would thank you for raising me up to be more than I ever would have been without you. As a baby you carried me and never stopped. Thank you Mom for carrying me back then...  as you still do today.

"You Raise Me Up"

Dear Joanne,
 
Now that Jesus has taken you to Himself, provided you with a room in His Kingdom, and invited you to His Banquet Table, I will forever strive to join you.  I am a half of twin now and I no longer feel part of this world without you in it.  Prepare a room for me my sweet sister and make certain that the room is next to yours.  It is only one day since you passed and already I am struggling to survive in your absence.  I just wonder if it is possible to live without you.  My heart is so broken and my dreams are no longer important.  I am screaming out your name and I yearn to feel the warmth of your sweet face.  My grief is inconsolable and I want to call you to tell you how sad I am.  I want to know that you are safe and happy and free of all pain.  I want to see you smile and hear you laugh and watch you enjoy yourself. 

I know that your body is being prepared for your wake and that in a few days I will look at a shell that once resembled me, I will look at a face that had the identical features of mine, and I will look at your body that was worn down to half the weight it once was by the cancer that overtook it.  I will be overtaken with the physical pain of our separation and the emotional consequences of losing my twin.  And, I will know that only an identical twin will understand my pain.  You, Joanne, understand my pain and I will cry out to you to ask Jesus to take me home so that we can be together again.  So that we can be Twinnies again and save each other from the pain and fear of those long ago memories that almost took our lives.  No one will ever understand that part of our lives when we protected and saved each other from the injustices that we experienced.  Thank you my Joanne for saving my life, for easing my fears, and for trying to take away my pain.  Please help me now because I am having so much trouble breathing and my heart is overcome with grief.  My pain is overwhelming because half of me is gone and I will not get it back until we are reunited in the Kingdom of God.

I will never, ever forget anything about you. Your loving nature and your desire to ‘fix’ all the broken hearts in the world.  Your lit candles, which asked for the mercy of God for all those people in pain.  Your kind words of encouragement and stoic nature to keep on keeping on until everyone’s pain was gone.  You were so much kinder to everyone than you ever were to yourself.  I want you to know “that you’re my hero, you’re everything that I wanted to be, and I will fly higher than an eagle, because YOU were the wind beneath my wings.”  Goodbye my love and I will join you when God calls me home. Love you forever, Judy