November 10, 2023
November 10, 2023
Love and peace to her memory and to all who loved her. She was a special woman.
Five months ago in early October, I received a voice message from my mom. She stated she wasn’t well and needed me back home. That’s the day all gears shifted and I knew I had to spend as much time as possible with her. She had been diagnosed with lung cancer and we knew we had a battle ahead. She chose to fight with treatments and was shuffled to various health care places all the while receiving help from friends and family. Some of the stand out moments near the end of 2019 were Phil’s make-shift wheelchair ramp to help keep her in his home where she really wanted to stay, Ann’s countless hours of transporting her to appointments and housing family (including all of Aunt Jolene’s kids... my cousins) during our many and oftentimes last-minute visits, My Aunt Jolene spending weeks at a time by her side and arriving on New Year’s Eve to ring in 2020, heartfelt visit from my Uncle John or my movie-like dash to the hospital on Christmas Day and celebrate the holiday. It was also incredibly special the day Phil, Ann, Aunt Jolene and I had the chance to toast her 79th birthday with bubbles (nonalcoholic, sorry Phil, no 7&7 this time) and share tiramisu that Ann made and was their annual tradition.
After several months of extensive treatments, we found improvements were no longer a reality. We made the decision to move her to assisted living in Cleveland so she and I could have more time together. Before leaving Florida, her friends and members from Unitarian Universalist threw her a going away celebration. To my surprise (I hadn’t realized she was so popular!), she had so many people showing up to wish her a safe journey - they had to stagger the visits because so many folks wanted to visit. This is a sliver of my mom’s life I didn’t have the opportunity to see and be part of. In her last weeks and days, my wife, Sharon, and I spent time reading her Dave Barry, listening to music and holding her hand until the very end. She left us without pain and in peace. She was graceful, beautiful and held more love in her heart that most inspire to reach.
My mom was born in Iowa on a farm with a lineup of wonderful siblings John Bergstrom, Judi Brooks and Jolene Carlson-Bergstrom. She spent 40+ years in Florida and several decades teaching English and Creative Writing in Flager county, an active member and president of the Unitarian Universalist Church and the best Mother anyone could ever ask for. She spent her last weeks in Cleveland just blocks from our home and right on Lake Erie. This was a special time together. She was loved and admired and left lasting impressions on all. She will be missed and will stay in our hearts. None of this would be possible without each and every person that receives or is forwarded this message. Thank you to all. With love….
Joan Mergeline Thate
November 9, 1940 - March 20, 2020
After several months of extensive treatments, we found improvements were no longer a reality. We made the decision to move her to assisted living in Cleveland so she and I could have more time together. Before leaving Florida, her friends and members from Unitarian Universalist threw her a going away celebration. To my surprise (I hadn’t realized she was so popular!), she had so many people showing up to wish her a safe journey - they had to stagger the visits because so many folks wanted to visit. This is a sliver of my mom’s life I didn’t have the opportunity to see and be part of. In her last weeks and days, my wife, Sharon, and I spent time reading her Dave Barry, listening to music and holding her hand until the very end. She left us without pain and in peace. She was graceful, beautiful and held more love in her heart that most inspire to reach.
My mom was born in Iowa on a farm with a lineup of wonderful siblings John Bergstrom, Judi Brooks and Jolene Carlson-Bergstrom. She spent 40+ years in Florida and several decades teaching English and Creative Writing in Flager county, an active member and president of the Unitarian Universalist Church and the best Mother anyone could ever ask for. She spent her last weeks in Cleveland just blocks from our home and right on Lake Erie. This was a special time together. She was loved and admired and left lasting impressions on all. She will be missed and will stay in our hearts. None of this would be possible without each and every person that receives or is forwarded this message. Thank you to all. With love….
Joan Mergeline Thate
November 9, 1940 - March 20, 2020
Tributes
Leave a tribute
November 9, 2023
November 9, 2023
Mom just want to pop in and wish you a happy birthday. Think about you everyday. ❤️
November 9, 2022
November 9, 2022
Happy Birthday Mom just wanted to say I love you and miss you everyday.
November 8, 2021
November 8, 2021
Happy birthday Mom! I miss you so much and everyday. ♥️
April 16, 2021
April 16, 2021
Mrs. Joan Thate was my 9th grade English teacher. She has had a profound impact on my life. The absolute greatest teacher and mentor. She introduced me to the healing powers of reading, poetry, writing and expanded my mind. She was the light & understanding I needed during a tumultuous time. Her caring went beyond the classroom. She nurtured my wounded soul and helped me find myself and my purpose. I've often hoped to bump into her one day and imagined all the things I would say, just to catch up on life, share writings and stories....All that's left for me to say is "Thank you for saving me"
My heart aches and I am sorry for your loss.
My heart aches and I am sorry for your loss.
March 20, 2021
March 20, 2021
To live in hearts that love is not to die.
We of the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Ormond Beach love you and hold your memory in our hearts, Joan. When we can gather again in our building, we will celebrate your life and your indelible mark on our community.
In sadness at your absence and in gratitude for knowing you,
Rev. Kathy
We of the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Ormond Beach love you and hold your memory in our hearts, Joan. When we can gather again in our building, we will celebrate your life and your indelible mark on our community.
In sadness at your absence and in gratitude for knowing you,
Rev. Kathy
March 20, 2021
March 20, 2021
Today a year ago my mother your sister your aunt your friend passed away below is a poem she wrote looks like in 2010 of thousands I collected. God, I miss her. Look for hope it is always out there.
"Suggestions to be left on Earth in Case our deeply flawed species accidentally Re-evolves
1. Best to not invent sin; but if you must, make it greed.
2. Be watchful for unintended consequences of what appears to be progress.
3. Awareness and reason are the highest gifts. Cultivate them. Assiduously.
4. Treat everything as it is: Holy.
Joan Thate 2010"
"Suggestions to be left on Earth in Case our deeply flawed species accidentally Re-evolves
1. Best to not invent sin; but if you must, make it greed.
2. Be watchful for unintended consequences of what appears to be progress.
3. Awareness and reason are the highest gifts. Cultivate them. Assiduously.
4. Treat everything as it is: Holy.
Joan Thate 2010"
March 20, 2021
March 20, 2021
We are still missing Joan's lovely smile and gracious presence.
November 9, 2020
November 9, 2020
Happy Birthday Mom
November 9, 2020
November 9, 2020
I first got to know Joan when we worked together on a New Member Welcome class for our Unitarian Universalist congregation here in Ormond Beach. What a lovely and thoughtful person she was--and a tireless worker for what she believed in.
April 27, 2020
April 27, 2020
I knew her as Ms. Thate. She was my teacher for 4 years from 1995 to 1999, but was also my friend. We kept in touch after high school, but life happened and we hadn't spoken in years. Fast forward to tonight.. my fiancee was telling me about how she still had poems I had written and sent her over 20 years ago. Poems I had written in Ms. Thate's classroom (either during school or a day in which is TA'ed or Study Halled in her room - I spent a lot of my time with her). That led me into this long, sprawling rant about one of the most influential teachers I ever had and how much I missed her. How she made me feel like I could express myself with words, and without remorse. I immediately sought to reach out to her and found this..
I truly loved this woman. She helped me in ways I never got to truly express. I regret that I waited to reach out.
I just hope that everyone here can see how important she was to people outside of her family. What she meant, and still means. An amazing woman. Truly one of the best. We will miss you.
My utmost sympathy goes out to her other friends, but mainly her family. I am absolutely positive she is missed by those closest to her.
Just know she was amazing to all that knew her.
PS: I saw another student, Carlos, mentioning Enya. Lol. Enya was the soundtrack to that class and I think of her whenever it's on.
I truly loved this woman. She helped me in ways I never got to truly express. I regret that I waited to reach out.
I just hope that everyone here can see how important she was to people outside of her family. What she meant, and still means. An amazing woman. Truly one of the best. We will miss you.
My utmost sympathy goes out to her other friends, but mainly her family. I am absolutely positive she is missed by those closest to her.
Just know she was amazing to all that knew her.
PS: I saw another student, Carlos, mentioning Enya. Lol. Enya was the soundtrack to that class and I think of her whenever it's on.
April 15, 2020
April 15, 2020
Ms. Thate,
I had the honor of being both a student and teachers aide of yours before graduating in 2001. You were one of the most influential teachers I had and will always remember your creative writing class (especially listening to Enya). Rest in peace and may your memories live on forever.
Carlos & Lauren Dias
(Flagler Palm Coast High School Class of 2001 & 2003)
I had the honor of being both a student and teachers aide of yours before graduating in 2001. You were one of the most influential teachers I had and will always remember your creative writing class (especially listening to Enya). Rest in peace and may your memories live on forever.
Carlos & Lauren Dias
(Flagler Palm Coast High School Class of 2001 & 2003)
April 10, 2020
April 10, 2020
Dearest Joan, how I miss you - your leadership, your intellect, your humility, your sense of humor. I loved your sense of irony and I loved making you laugh - remember "wall of meatheads"? I didn't get to spend nearly enough time with you. We worked together for three years yet there's so much of you I barely knew - your wonderful poetry, for example. I was always impressed by how well-read you were and how incisive you could be when parsing a thorny issue. All the children you taught and served were so fortunate to have you. Your congregation and I were fortunate to have you. Your son, Joey is fortunate he was born to you - such a kind and gentle soul he is. We are all fortunate to have been in your wake. Goodbye dear one. To live in hearts that love is not to die. -Rev Kathy-
April 7, 2020
April 7, 2020
I’ll remember many days Joan spent at the UU church,
conversations on the back deck with friends,
setting lovely tables for potlucks and other occasions,
with her creative genius,
previewing materials online for Life Long Learning classes,
cooking tasty dishes to share, like her amazing chicken salad with red grapes,
cleaning closets and
climbing up and down the attic ladder to store decorations,
meetings of all kinds,
sharing her abilities in giving back to others.
My favorite picture here is the one with Joey (Joan is holding a coke can) –
their faces show the connection of deep love between their hearts.
conversations on the back deck with friends,
setting lovely tables for potlucks and other occasions,
with her creative genius,
previewing materials online for Life Long Learning classes,
cooking tasty dishes to share, like her amazing chicken salad with red grapes,
cleaning closets and
climbing up and down the attic ladder to store decorations,
meetings of all kinds,
sharing her abilities in giving back to others.
My favorite picture here is the one with Joey (Joan is holding a coke can) –
their faces show the connection of deep love between their hearts.
March 24, 2020
March 24, 2020
Joan, I went to the beach early Sunday morning and thought of all the times we walked on the beach together--the time we found the dead loon--the time we watched a green turtle digging her nest--all the sunrises. And all the conversations--your wit and your gift for words. You are still out there somewhere, part of the tide and the wind and the huge sky. I miss you.
March 24, 2020
March 24, 2020
As a neighbor of Joey and Sharon I must say that I never met the lady but, judging by the way Joey is, I'd say he lost one fantastic mother. She raised him right and - I believe - she'll continue to improve our world through Joey and every person Joey meets. Class acts produce class acts. Prayers.
March 23, 2020
March 23, 2020
Joey, we are so deeply sorry for your loss. Our earliest memories of you and your mom are when you visited Chicago for the summers. Your mom was so lovely, witty, brilliant and creative in countless ways, warm, kind, giving. I was privileged to read a few of the things she had written and was touched through her gift and expression.
We loved the way she and your uncle bantered, the beauty she created in gardening with your aunt or redecorating. Our family warmly remembers our Christmas Eve gatherings.
She was a woman of beauty that had so much to give and offer to others.
She will be deeply missed by all who knew her.
Peace to her memory and love to you.
Eva, John, Andrew, and Bea
We loved the way she and your uncle bantered, the beauty she created in gardening with your aunt or redecorating. Our family warmly remembers our Christmas Eve gatherings.
She was a woman of beauty that had so much to give and offer to others.
She will be deeply missed by all who knew her.
Peace to her memory and love to you.
Eva, John, Andrew, and Bea
March 23, 2020
March 23, 2020
Your mom sounds like a pretty special woman. I'm sorry for your loss.
March 23, 2020
March 23, 2020
I met your mother through Ann, my step-mom. It was years ago when I came to Florida to visit. Ann and Joan were out by the pool, sipping wine and talking. I sat down and was immediately taken with how beautiful and gracious your mother was. I was in awe of this woman sipping wine in the early afternoon, in her swim suit, with perfect red lipstick on! In the years following I had many opportunities to get to know your mother better and what really stuck out was....she was as beautiful inside as she was outside.
I am sorry for your loss and will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I look forward to meeting you in Florida to honor your mom.
I am sorry for your loss and will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I look forward to meeting you in Florida to honor your mom.
Leave a Tribute
Recent Tributes
November 10, 2023
November 10, 2023
Love and peace to her memory and to all who loved her. She was a special woman.
November 9, 2023
November 9, 2023
Mom just want to pop in and wish you a happy birthday. Think about you everyday. ❤️
November 9, 2022
November 9, 2022
Happy Birthday Mom just wanted to say I love you and miss you everyday.
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Congregation president welcomes new members
Recent stories
To Thine Own Self Be True
October 20, 2020
by Joey Thate
To Thine Own Self Be True
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man Shakespeare
O ye that art the spawn of the Age of Aquarius, who taketh the admonition of the bard into your philosophy or hangeth it upon your hallowed wall, or tatooeth it upon your bodkin, know now that the bard hath made a fool of you.
Let us consider the words: to thine own self be true, which thou hath taken to signify a mandate to keep your beliefs intact no matter what blatant and unequivocal evidence presenteth itself, or perchance as an admonition to personal integration of the harmonies of the universe, or the balancing of thy medians, or stimulation of thy chakras
When, if thou, who art the worst judge of thine own self, doest not know that thou hast changed like a chameleon to fit the time and circumstance, and that thou hast, if thou not be a fool, grown unto each of thy seven ages a different, if not a wiser man, doest begin to wonder which of the many selves one is being true to and wherefore thous’t may begin to perceive the light.
Now shalt we consider the metaphor, Then it must follow as the night the day and declare that while it suggests inevitability, ‘tis besides that, a boring and blatant cliché, the work of an atom-sized imagination..
Then considerest thou the soulful statement, Thou canst not then be false to any man (and, Aquarian that thou must needs be due to thy years of birth know’st in your heart to include the fairer sex) and, as thou thinkest upon this, thou wondrest if such a son of man couldest in this dark world exist, beginneth to have some doubt,
Then we may perchance, divine the ironic intent of the divine bard, and know wherefore he putteth such unseemly, but wise-sounding words in the mouth of the most vile of liars, and the most bombastic and silliest of fools.
Joan Thate 2015
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man Shakespeare
O ye that art the spawn of the Age of Aquarius, who taketh the admonition of the bard into your philosophy or hangeth it upon your hallowed wall, or tatooeth it upon your bodkin, know now that the bard hath made a fool of you.
Let us consider the words: to thine own self be true, which thou hath taken to signify a mandate to keep your beliefs intact no matter what blatant and unequivocal evidence presenteth itself, or perchance as an admonition to personal integration of the harmonies of the universe, or the balancing of thy medians, or stimulation of thy chakras
When, if thou, who art the worst judge of thine own self, doest not know that thou hast changed like a chameleon to fit the time and circumstance, and that thou hast, if thou not be a fool, grown unto each of thy seven ages a different, if not a wiser man, doest begin to wonder which of the many selves one is being true to and wherefore thous’t may begin to perceive the light.
Now shalt we consider the metaphor, Then it must follow as the night the day and declare that while it suggests inevitability, ‘tis besides that, a boring and blatant cliché, the work of an atom-sized imagination..
Then considerest thou the soulful statement, Thou canst not then be false to any man (and, Aquarian that thou must needs be due to thy years of birth know’st in your heart to include the fairer sex) and, as thou thinkest upon this, thou wondrest if such a son of man couldest in this dark world exist, beginneth to have some doubt,
Then we may perchance, divine the ironic intent of the divine bard, and know wherefore he putteth such unseemly, but wise-sounding words in the mouth of the most vile of liars, and the most bombastic and silliest of fools.
Joan Thate 2015
Why Joan was so Great
March 28, 2020
by Jon Baird
I've known Joey since we were 13. My family moved to Florida from South Carolina during my Eighth grade year. I picked up skateboarding as a lifestyle pretty quickly. There were kids in my neighborhood (which was pretty far out 40) who inducted me. I met Joey while out skating with some mutual friends. The first day I met him, I spent the night at his house. So we could wake up early, which for me was never before 10am, and go skateboarding all the next day. I remember worrying to myself that I was going to forget his name. I did forget his name.
I met Joan that night as you may have assumed. I feel like I remember it perfectly but I'm sure I've gotten it wrong. Joan was watching the Pelican Brief when we got in. It was a little after dark, which she was never a fan of.
So I show up in this woman's home who has never met me and I'm with her son who I've known for probably three or four hours at this point and she welcomes me and makes us dinner. And it felt like I may as well have known them both my whole life.
I lived in Florida for a few short years, and spent a lot of time in Joan's home. Joan was always engaged with us as angsty teens, we would have conversations with her about current events, our plans for the future, and our problems and she was really there to offer judgment-free reflection with only kindness in mind.
I knew Joan as a teacher, a mother and mentor to one of my best friends in life, and as an individual with the capacity to give themselves to others unendingly.
Joan's life was an example of who you can be if you are motivated by love and personal connection. Our lives were all enriched in knowing Joan, and we keep her memory with us in practicing kindness, patience, and understanding.
I met Joan that night as you may have assumed. I feel like I remember it perfectly but I'm sure I've gotten it wrong. Joan was watching the Pelican Brief when we got in. It was a little after dark, which she was never a fan of.
So I show up in this woman's home who has never met me and I'm with her son who I've known for probably three or four hours at this point and she welcomes me and makes us dinner. And it felt like I may as well have known them both my whole life.
I lived in Florida for a few short years, and spent a lot of time in Joan's home. Joan was always engaged with us as angsty teens, we would have conversations with her about current events, our plans for the future, and our problems and she was really there to offer judgment-free reflection with only kindness in mind.
I knew Joan as a teacher, a mother and mentor to one of my best friends in life, and as an individual with the capacity to give themselves to others unendingly.
Joan's life was an example of who you can be if you are motivated by love and personal connection. Our lives were all enriched in knowing Joan, and we keep her memory with us in practicing kindness, patience, and understanding.
A Poem by Joan Thate (MOM) Art Appreciation 101: The Quiz
March 22, 2020
by Joey Thate
Art Appreciation 101: The Quiz
- When accidental window light picks out a staggering spot on the painting so you see that particular space for the first time in a brilliant beam of cognition
- There it is, what had not existed before
- Although almost certainly it had
- Where were you?
- When that happens, and now you know, once more, ambush windows can disclose an infinite stream of revelations beyond heart breaking because they are so profoundly
- Demanding
- Hidden
- Alive
- Momentary
- Again, where were you? Joan Thate 2009