It's been a year John.  It doesn't seem like it's been that long.  But a lot of changes have happened.  I love and miss you more and more everyday.  And now Jim is up there with you.  I bet you guys are having fun.

Please keep sending the signs.  I smelled the coffee again the other day. It makes me smile knowing your right here. 


And just like Whitney Houston sings on here " I Will Always Love You", I will.  I hope you saw your balloons today. 


Love, ALWAYS....    Your wife, Mary

Happy birthday. I wrote yesterday that you are 74. You would have been 73. My mind has never worked the same since you left me. The kid's are having a get together at Brann's today. Not sure I'm going.  Love, AlWAYS and forever until we meet again.  Mary

To my dearly missed husband.  Tomorrow would have been your 74 birthday. EVERY hour of everyday your with me.  I can feel it.  When I moved out of the house on Patterson, I had your picture in my arm.  We walked out together.
I was worried your spirit wouldn't follow me to GR.  But you did.  I know it was you that pushed the towels in the tub. There were no animals in the new place yet. And you know how anal I am about towels. The one in the sink was tossed too.  This may sound odd. But I loved it when you did laundry. Everything was folded perfectly, just like a Marine would do.  You could bounce a quarter off them.
 
And now a whole set of first's begin again.  In a different house.
Birthdays, spring, gardening and finding a new job.


I love and miss you more than words can express.  And I'm not afraid to die.  Because then I can see you again.


Love, ALWAYS,



Mary




        

Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went. I'm sorry I couldnt have the family over. This is all too much for me to handle. The empty chair you used to sit in I can barely look at. I'm sorry for all the arguments and fighting we did. I love you more than any other person in my life, besides Zack.

Zack has a job and a car. Something I thought I'd never see written in one sentence. Ha ha.
 
Now it's 2016. A new year. And the pain of you not being here has become worse.  I need your strength and guideness to help me find somewhere to live .  It just added more stress to the depression I'm in. There is no pill my doctor has me try to releive the hopelessness. I know your still on the watch as I can feel your presence. Please keep watching over the kids for they are in the same pain as I am. Steven is engaged to a great girl and we have another great grandbaby on the way. And another in August. Jim will be joining you soon. Give him a big hug when he gets there. And he and you will be able to swap stories again.  

I love and miss you every second of everyday. Love always and forever, Mary    

Today would have been our 20th year anniversary.  It just seems like a few weeks have went by since you died.  But it's almost 5 months. 

 Please start being in my dreams again.  I miss that. Even though waking up is a horrible reminder that your gone.  But for that time your in them, it is a treasure to me.


Love, ALWAYS and forever,


Mary