1 year ago today my much loved brother passed away , r.i.p.xxx

Oh dear john today is the day that you are finally laid to rest and I will be there for you at the cemetery but I just don't know what is happening about the church as no one tells me anything. I haven't been told about the car or doing anything at the church which I wanted to do for you. It's like I have just been shut out and I know that you would never have done this to me nor would I to you. These three weeks have been so hard and at first I thought maybe the support was there but how wrong was I? You were so different to the rest. So supportive and kind. I have found it hard without you my friend. Without talking to you at silly O'clock and always being there when I got back from the hospital to give me support. I don't know how I am going to carry on my friend. Today is going to be so hard and I will try hard and I promise I will be there when they finally lay you to rest. The rest I can't promise. I know you understand. X you will always be so close to my heart and I will never ever forget your friendship and kindness. Sleep now my friend and whatever is beyond it can't be any worse than the life you had here. Love you always. Xxxx

Hi john it's Friday market day and I am really missing you so much. The space under the gazebo where u sat looks so bare and u never did get to see the new gazebo.. It's massive!!!!!
Janet came to see me yesterday and she has been so nice to me. I just wish you were still here. I tried to have misty for you but she just didn't like dogs so it didn't work out. I was very sad but I did try.
Janet seems to be coping but I don't think it will hit her til after the funeral. I know u will be watching over us all. Wherever u are or whatever ur doing I just hope ur out of pain babe. Love u with all my heart and you will never be forgotten. Take care john xxxxxx

This candle is for you john. It's been less than a week since you left us and I am finding it so hard. I hope you are now out of pain my friend. You were so good to me and helped me get through my cancer operation and other things and for that I will be eternally grateful.