A celebration of the life of

John Thomas Smith Hamilton

(Hammy)

27th April 1980 – 10th November 2015

Funeral Ceremony Friday 4th December

1.pm

Bellshill Funeral Parlour

then

Bothwellhaugh Cemetery

Composed and Conducted by

Norrie Flowers

Independent Humanist Ceremonies

Entry Music

Good afternoon everyone and a very warm welcome.  We are here today to celebrate, and to pay tribute to, the life of John Thomas Smith Hamilton, better known to most of you of course as Hammy.  We came in to a piece of music that was a specially chosen by Hammy`s family and it was Mike and the Mechanics playing Living Years.  Hammy liked music and we will hear some more of his favourites later in the ceremony.

My name is Norrie Flowers, a celebrant from the Independent Humanist Ceremonies and I'm honoured to have been invited to be with you all today.  This will be a farewell ceremony exclusively dedicated to Hammy.  We will not sing hymns or say prayers, but today’s ceremony is an inclusive occasion.  Both those whose religious beliefs are central to their lives and those of us who choose to live their lives without religion are welcome here. While some present may be more familiar with a different form of ceremony, I hope we agree that the human values we share are of more importance than any matter which might divide us. There will be time later on at the Cemetery for quiet reflection, to allow those of you with religious beliefs to remember Hammy with your own private thoughts.

It may seem strange to be talking of celebration in your time of grief, as you are learning to come to terms with Hammy’s death at the prime of his life.

You have lost a son, a father, a brother, an uncle, a neighbour and a friend.  We meet in shock, pain and sorrow that Hammy is no longer with you.  But although Hammy is no longer a visible part of your lives, he will live on through your lifetime in your memories. The exceptional part he played in your life can be remembered, understood and celebrated through his story.  Chapters of that story will be told and retold by those here and doubtless to some not yet born. The way to keep Hammy in your hearts, in your minds and in your actions is to celebrate the life that he led.  Hammy was indeed well loved.

Eventually all living things die. It is part of the process of evolution and growth and in the course of millions upon millions of lives and deaths, human kind has evolved. We all carry that inheritance within us. Everyone is indeed unique, a matchless combination of inheritance and experience.  Until now there has never been anyone exactly like Hammy, nor can there ever be again.  But he will remain within your family and within your circle of friends.  For the people we have loved and who love us, not only make us more human, they become part of us.  There is and never will be anyone in the world quite like Hammy. I know that his sudden and tragic death will have been a dreadful shock for you all and I have no doubt that you will still be struggling to come to terms with what has happened.  When an old person dies, we may grieve, but we can more readily accept that their life has been lived and has drawn to an inevitable close. But the death of someone so young is so much harder to bear.  So we not only mourn the life that was, but also the life that might have been.  But maybe you can take some small comfort from the following words:

So despite your sorrow today, it is important to remember that in many ways, the world is a richer place because Hammy was once a part of it.  This is of course a day to mourn and I hope that you’ll feel able to cry openly and to share your grief.  But at the same time, I also hope that this ceremony will help you all to focus on what a nice guy Hammy was and perhaps even to smile as you bring to mind some of the things you loved about him because everyone has a right to live their lives as they see fit and certainly Hammy lived his life in the way he wanted.  In every life there is sadness and regret and we each come to terms with that in our own individual way.  Some people would say that Hammy had wasted part of his life and clearly he did not live life in the way most of us do, but that was his choice, his life and who are we to judge him? He certainly knew and had the love, laughter and happiness of his family, and with you all beside him anything was possible.

So try to remember that this is a celebration of Hammy’s life and it is my privilege to have spent some time talking with his family and together we have planned this tribute. 

John Hamilton, Hammy, was born on the 27th of April 1980 to parents Janet and John Hamilton and was their middle child along with his sister`s Aileen and Diane.  The family, at that time, were living in the Eddlewood area of Hamilton and when Hammy was just five the family moved to Mossend.

Hammy`s schooling began at Belvidere Primary before going to Mossend Primary and going on to finish his formal education at Bellshill Academy.  A clever lad he even won the endeavour prize in primary seven but academic achievement was not high on Hammy`s priorities and he was a typical wee boy, into everything and always someone who enjoyed a carry on or having a joke with the many friends he had friendships that continued all is life with the likes of Halpo, Burno, Dazzy, Wee Wilson and Rab Mcneill to name just a few, and he loved nothing better than being in their company laughing and joking, by the time he was 14 he was dogging the school more than he was actually there passing his days mainly down at the Sandy Park where the youngsters would gather to have a carry on and a drink.

He was also a wind up merchant and this was apparent even at the age of 14 when he at his step sister Jackie's house one Saturday night telling them all they needed to watch children in need the following Friday because he would be on it.

Her 3 children, Hammy`s nephews and niece Stephen, James and Sarah proudly told their teachers, Jackie told all her pals and neighbours and Jackie`s mum told her pals to as they were all so chuffed with the news. Then the following Friday arrived as they all sat down eagerly watching children in need and awaiting Hammy`s big moment.  Then the time arrived, and aye Hammy was on the telly with his pals right enough!  He was at the front of the camera talking to the presenter with a bottle of Bucky in his hand saying "aye man there`s nothing for us to do over here, we need money to build somewhere we can all go for something to do to stop us buying carryoots"   All their jaws dropped, momentarily mortified ... for all of 10 seconds before bursting out laughing loud, but Hammy did get a severe slagging for weeks after that.

When he left school at 16 he began working with his dad in the building trade and with John saying he could not tell Hammy anything as he knew it anyway, but working with his dad was like an apprenticeship with Hammy picking up the secrets of the different trades skills he would utilise a little later In life when he went on to be doing various jobs many for his family and friends and others for cash.  

When he was 16 the family moved down to Motherwell where Hammy met and fell in love with Alison, Alison lived in the same street and in a very short time they were living together in Alison`s parents house where in 1999 his son Connor made his way into this world, a son that Hammy was very proud of.

Unfortunately Hammy and Alison`s relationship did not last and by 2003, after a few years together they separated.  Hammy went back to live with his parents who were now in Tollhouse Gardens Bellshill, but he was a free spirit with a wayward and wandering attitude and with so many friends he would be stay wherever the notion took him or as Janet his mum says `wherever he laid his hat`.  

Sandy Park was still the meeting place for him and his pals and Hammy was part of what had and still is a drink culture, it was also the place they could get some peace to chew the fat and of course consume drinks and if the Police came to break things up they would of course scatter with Hammy donning a distinct green hat and after being chased numerous times he became known to the police as the `Green Frog`. 

Workwise Hammy was still in the building trade turning his hand to most things from mono blocking to bricklaying and more recently his son Connor would be helping is dad out on some of the jobs to.  Hammy was a good worker and if he started a job then he would see it through to the finish, an example of this was when he and his pal Halpo accepted a job of distributing thousands of copies of the Yellow Pages and this was to be done by handing them out from the back of a lorry in Wishaw, they started the job and very quickly, after only handful of copies had been given out, Halpo sat down watching Hammy beavering away, Hammy had a way of getting into a work groove which allowed him to block everything else out as he continued until the job was done.  He was by now doing work for but also friends with Stevie McPhee with Hammy each year travelling with Stevie down to the Appleby Fayre in the north of England to enjoy that unique experience of the annual gathering there of travelling folk.

Back in Bellshill Hammy was now staying in his friend Big Heavies house with Big Heavy just leaving the door unlocked for Hammy to come and go as it suited him, if the door was locked Hammy would just an open window or if it was closed tight prise it open with Big Heavy often getting up in the morning finding Hammy fast asleep on the couch. 

Hammy continued to enjoy new experiences, new tastes in music and drink until tragically last month on the 10th of November disaster struck, Hammy was attacked and sadly died.

We will now play a piece of music specially chosen by Hammy`s family and is David Gray singing `Sail Away` while listening to it please let your thoughts drift to your relationship with Hammy and reflect on what he meant to you personally.

Reflection Music

Hammy had many friends each of you knowing what you meant to him and you knew what he meant to you.  He will be missed so much and has left a void in so many people’s lives, especially his family.

I know that you will all miss him terribly and that since his death all you can feel is sadness.  But in many ways, he was like a ray of sunshine in your lives.  At the moment, the clouds are in the way, but the sun, like Hammy, is always there and ready to shine for you again.

None of you will ever forget him and a part of him will live on in your hearts and in your memories for all time.  He will be with you always.  And I am sure he would want you to remember the happy times you all shared together rather than to grieve too long.

Being the type of person he was, I feel sure that Hammy would want the people who meant so much to him in life to focus on the times you spent enjoying his company, rather than mourn his loss.  Hold on to Hammy in your thoughts, there is no need to part from him too hastily, so smile sometimes when you remember him and reflect on the things you did love about him. The world may be a smaller place because Hammy is no longer in it, but it is a brighter place because he once lived.

Being the kind of man he was though I am sure these few lines of poetry aptly express the kind of sentiment that I am sure Hammy would want to display to you today its titled Compost by Don Lampard:

Once I’ve bade my last goodbye, cut the cord to take my leave,

Don’t be sorrowful and cry or sit in solitude and grieve.

Shout me your last farewell, making sure I’m dead asleep,

Then without prayers or tolling bells just dump me on the compost heap.

Play for me some red-hot rap, then some rock or maybe swing,

Jive and twist and razzamatazz, joke and laugh, and dance and sing.

Be happy through the night-long wake, don’t think about me being missed,

Just carry on for old time’s sake ‘til everyone’s completely pissed.

Then go your ways and be not sad, and think about me not at all,

Except if things go really bad, when all you have to do is call.

Go to where the compost’s spread, shout my name up to the sky,

And if you wake me from the dead, you’ll not be more surprised than I.

I am honoured to have shared with you these few memories and reflections of Hammy’s life. I am sure that you will have many more of your own.  We will shortly be moving on to Bothwellhaugh Cemetery to say our final farewell to Hammy and his family have asked me to extend an invitation to you all where we will reflect and think about Hammy before we say our final farewell.

But I hope that as we close this part of the ceremony for Hammy you have been able to focus on something about him that made you smile and that you have been able to remember him not only with a heavy heart, but also with a sense of calm when you reflect that he is at peace but before we conclude our ceremony here, Hammy`s family have asked me to express their heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you for your attendance here today and for the cards of condolence which have been a comfort to them.  But a special thank you goes to his sister Diane who had done so much for her brother.

And as we leave here we will listen again to a song chosen specially by his family – very aptly it is `Wherever I lay my Hat` by Paul Young - so as we are leaving and listening please let your thoughts again drift to Hammy and what he meant to you personally. 

Exit Music

At the Graveside.

Thank you everyone for making your way here.  It is difficult to find some comforting words to offer you at this time. It is important to remember though that the depth of your sadness at Hammy’s passing is a reflection of your love for him.

That love will remain in your heart as the happy memories will live on in your mind, so in that way, I’m sure that Hammy will always be with you.

These few lines of poetry aptly express this sentiment and show that love can reach beyond even the depths of grief:

Have faith in love and do not fear the sadness 

That comes when someone has gone away.
For love is deeper than the deepest sorrow,
its light can reach beyond the darkest day.

Have faith in love, for love is sure and constant;
A tie too strong for time and loss to sever.
And for those who love, there are no final partings,
Where love has been, there love will be for ever.

Although he may no longer be here in person, Hammy leaves behind a rich personal legacy of love, caring, and humour that will surely live on through his precious son Connor, his dad John, mum Janet and step dad James (Tebo), his sister`s Aileen and Diane and his extended family of Jackie, Karen and Jackie's children Stephen, James and Sarah, it is through all of you that Hammy`s influence in the world will continue. The journey of life may be short or long. What matters is how we live, that we make the most of what we have, and live life to the full valuing the possibilities of each day. 

Family and friends, we have been remembering the life of John Hamilton, Hammy.

Above all else, Hammy will be remembered as a man who loved life and loved his family and through his kindness and sense of fun his love extended beyond the family, to all who had the pleasure of knowing him.

Being the kind of man he was, I’m sure that Hammy would not want the pain felt by those of you who mourn his passing to overshadow the memories of all the happy times you shared with him.  Perhaps the words of this poem titled The Dash by Linda Ellis sums up what Hammy would like to say to you today:

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on his tombstone
From the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of his birth
And spoke of the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
That he spent alive on earth
And now only those who loved him
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard,
And the things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

Now we must say a formal farewell to Hammy, but in bidding him farewell, we know that we will never forget him and what he meant to us.

Every living being has a beginning and an end.

For each of us there is a time to be born and a time to die.

And so death has come to Hammy.

Now as we bid him farewell,

We commit his character and his personality to our memories,

His love and his dear friendship to our hearts.

Lastly, we commit his body to its natural end,

Returning it to the earth that sustained him,

Rejoining the great cycle of nature.

Hammy will be part of this place for all time; through the warmth of summer and the cold of winter, through the freshness of spring and the mists of autumn, he will be at peace.

Should you return here, I hope some positive memories of our ceremony for Hammy, perhaps the sharing of thoughts, feelings and memories, will bring you some comfort.

We close the ceremony today with this reading, which, I hope you’ll agree, serves well as a fitting tribute to Hammy:

When I come to the end of my journey

And I travel my last weary mile,

Just forget, if you can, that I ever frowned

And remember only the smile.

Forget unkind words I have spoken;

Remember some good I have done;

Forget that I’ve stumbled and blundered

And sometimes fell by the way.

Remember I have fought some hard battles

And won at the close of the day.

Forget to grieve for my going –

I would not have you sad for a day -

But in summer just gather some flowers

And remember the place where I lay,

And come in the shade of the evening

When the sun paints the sky in the west,

And stand for a few moments beside me,

And remember only my best.

May peace, strength and understanding grow from this sorrow and enrich your lives and those of your loved ones. Shortly we must each return to our own lives, sharing our thoughts and feelings along the way, thereby supporting one another.

(family first to place personal flowers? And/or scatter some earth)

Now would those of you who wish to do so, please come forward to scatter a little earth in a final farewell to John Hamilton, Hammy.

On behalf of Hammy`s family may I thank you all once again for joining them today.  May you all have safe journeys to wherever you are going, take care and may all joys of this world go with you and be yours.

Thank you.