JJ….Time gone by doesn’t diminish the missing you. I get some comfort in all the time our two families spent together…at each others houses for holiday meals and get togethers…. overnights at Chesapeake beach where we played board games while the kids were banished to the basement….and shared vacations. Much later, as empty nesters our visits to the magical Shanghai-la and our epic vacation to Barcelona.  I just uploaded a few pics from my old school physical photo albums recounting just some of our young family get togethers. Love you, Brother. You and Reet did good by your kids who continue to make you both proud.

Rita- Here is a tribute to you!
Thank you so much for writing to remind us that tomorrow is the 3rd year mark since John's physical passing. I will definitely be among the many that will be raising a glass to remember him with you tomorrow.

Just as being at my husband Jerry's wake in Oregon recently gave you the opportunity to revisit bittersweet memories of John, your beautiful reflection story today reminds me not only of some of the awesome qualities that John and Jerry shared, but also of the ways in which they continue to be present. 

I want to thank you for being there for me and for your help in learning how to navigate life while experiencing deep grief.
love,
Monica

Happy Birthday, Bro. Still missing you.

I so appreciate this site and to be able to formally revisit on John's b-day. I just know he is looking down upon his growing family and smiling as we all remember and send our love.  xoxo

Missing my Big Bro more than ever on his 70th birthday. He is always close to my heart. Love you, JJ.

I'm slow to provide my tribute to John. Not because I have any hesitation to add my tribute but rather because doing so makes his passing too real and final for me. 

I first had the privileged of getting to know John through his volunteering service to the Marshall Native Gardens and to the Friends of the Madison County Library.  John and Rita were both heavily involved in those community organizations and our friendship grew extending over a number of years and including many memorable social events involving John, Rita, me, and my wife Pam.  John could always be counted on to provide a confident smile and a helping hand. His humor, willingness to jump into and often lead when doing new things, and his steady competent manner were greatly admired and appreciated by everyone he touched. 

I really miss John and greatly appreciated having known him!

It’s taken me a long time to write this because every time I start, I cry, and I hate crying, so I stop. But as John would say, I have to “take the pain” and just get the words down.

I knew John through Alice, the oldest of his three wonderful kids. Like her parents, she is an incredibly generous, family-oriented person, so I was lucky enough to be invited over to the Wright-Pelczar abode several times during and after college. John and Rita were always the most welcoming of hosts, providing witty conversation and good food in abundance. Even when surrounded by a bunch of Alice’s squirrely college girl friends, John managed to provide words of insight and wisdom along with his hilariously searing sense of humor. I’ll always look back on those visits with a smile.

John was a giant in my eyes, and a legend to all who knew him. Rest In Peace, John.

As early as I can remember, we spent weekends driving to Calvert county so our parents could play Balderdash upstairs and the cousins would wreak havoc in the basement. We also spent most holidays there. Driving down that long driveway , i always knew we would be greeted with Aunt Rita’s fresh home cooking and Uncle John’s larger than life personality! I feel so lucky I grew up around all that love and also the typical Wright way of teasing that gave me my sense of humor and thick skin. Most of our Wright family parties were in Calvert county, and it was very obvious that family meant the most to Uncle John. Thanks for passing that on to me. I’ll hold those childhood memories with you close to my heart!
Love, Moni

Dear Rita and family, I was very sorry to hear about the passing of John. He is telling many stories and jokes to my Larry and others in heaven. What a smart, handsome, inspiring and funny man. Much like my Larry Carson! ❤️ God bless you all and keep you in His loving hands. Take care from Owen Soper Woods in Chesapeake Beach Md.

Uncle John, you will always be in our memories and thoughts. There are many stories that I could relay, but one of the most memorable and entertaining, was about eleven years ago, right after I had started seriously dating my wife Sara. So I show up to a large Pelczar family event, and Uncle John sees that I arrived alone and is one of the first to greet me. So he says, rather loudly, "You Gutless Coward!" Uncle John had a way about him that I knew this was said for comedic effect, and not in a mean-spirited way. I'll always remember that moment, look back on it and laugh. Uncle John certainly had a way with words.
On many other occasions, we'd talk about sports, working for the Federal Government, and other topics. Once I had children, he was able to offer up some advice on parenting, sharing that "your kids will be the source of your highest highs and lowest lows, and it is all most certainly worth it." I'm happy that he did get to meet my children at the last Pelczar Easter gathering that we were able to all attend. I'll miss you Uncle John.

Even before I met John I felt like I knew him. Knowing Joe Pugliese since high school, I heard so many stories where John’s personality loomed large, like when he told his kids and grandkids to “take the pain” or when he told Joe to have kids because “what else are you going to do?” I saw home videos of John and Katie’s kids playfully rough housing outside at the Calvert County house. The Pugliese home has tons of pictures of John throughout the years, from early Wright family photos to the most recent sibling reunion in DC.  I even got to spend some time with Jack when he stayed with the Pugliese’s while in school.

When I actually got to meet John at Shangri-la, he absolutely lived up to the larger-than-life human I’d been described all those years. I was accompanying Joe on his tour of the South and we stayed with John and Rita for a night. I remember all of us on the couch watching old home videos, drinking cocktails, and listening to John’s commentary of each scene. John clearly loved retirement life because he described going into work his last handful of years as “It’s not that I would think to myself, am I going to step into a bucket of sh*t today, but, how deep will it be?” It was a delightful hang and I felt right at home. 

I’m so grateful to have spent that time with John. His spirit remains alive in the Pugliese home. 

Uncle John left an indelible mark on my life. There were two eras where I got to spend the most time with him. Growing up, our family would visit with him, Rita, Alice, Jack and Curtis monthly. Then, for about a decade beginning in my mid twenties, I would stay with John and Rita at Shangri-La when I would come through Asheville to play music.

Of the earlier era, I can still see John in my mind's eye. I imagine my family pulling into their long winding driveway, John dismounting from his riding lawn mower in shorts that were a little too short for modern standards, with a Nattie Boh in a coozy, his dog Nellie getting too excited and him yelling "Get back you HOUND!". 

Even then, his signature vocabulary was fully formed. I can see Curtis playing in the basement by the wood burning stove, John coming down the stairs and calling us "Animals!" I can see my cousin Jack in trouble for some childhood infraction, Uncle John squeezing the middle of his arm, and I can hear him saying "Take The Pain!" Pulling out of the driveway on a Sunday night I can still hear him explaining to us that tomorrow morning he had to be up at "O Dark Thirty".

Of the later era, I mainly remember him plying me bourbon after concerts. But the last memory I have of him is the most striking, and the most revelatory about his character.

The last time I visited Shangri-La, John already had his diagnosis. They were clearing out the house in preparation for the move. So the morning after the show, he asked me to come down to the crawl space to help load up a table onto their four-wheeler.  It was just the two of us.

As we worked, he explained to me that moving out of Shangri-La and getting Rita settled in the new house was his last "primary directive". He said it with his tongue-in-cheek, Spock-like inflection. But he was serious. 

Here was my uncle, facing down death entirely too soon, and his only thought was for his wife. That says it all about him. His family always came first, even in the final trial. True grit that any of us would be proud to display half of.

I love you Uncle John, and I will pass along the lessons you taught me to my children.

1952 was a good year. My husband and I were also born that year. I remember when John first met Rita. I remember him joining our “wild dancing” at “My Mother’s Place”! When I think of John, I remember his spark, energy, sense of humor and .........his eyes. In our locomotion there were many but I can only picture the two of them. We danced as a mass. John danced with Rita!!

My uncle JJ was one of a kind. I credit him with teaching me two phases I use regularly. The first, perhaps used originally by Clint Eastwood but more memorably by my Uncle John, is “a man’s got to know his limitations “. The second, not sure if its provenance but I like to think it’s a JJ original, is “that does not pass my give a shit test”. I realize, particularly during times like these, how incredibly unique our family really is. So many good times. So many laughs. Does anyone remember the insane boxing match circa 1983? I was firmly team “Pugnacious Pugliese”. My Uncle John features prominently in all my best memories. His devotion to his amazing wife and kids still sets my personal bar for what a great husband and dad looks like. I miss you, Johnny. But, like you always taught me, I’ll “take the pain”.

I got to know John through touring with Joe Pug. Every time we came through Asheville, the band would stay with John and Rita at their beautiful hop farm.

It was always such a pleasure to step out of touring life for a bit, sit with John at his place after the show, crack a “medicinal “ and just chat for a while. He was always a joy to be around and generous beyond belief. I also remember the lavish breakfasts John and Rita would put together the next morning we’re enough to sustain us on the road for a week!

Sometimes you meet people in this life that are simply and inarguably good people. John was one of them. My thoughts go out to Rita and the rest of Johns family.

Greg Tuohey

I got to know John during my formative teenage years as a close friend of his sons, Jack and Curt. "Got to know" probably isn't the right phrase as what ended up happening in those years transcended the typical "supervision". John (and Rita) created a home away home for me and the rest of our friends. They weren't just patient enough to hear us learn how to play our instruments through weekly band practice sessions in their basement, but they created an environment where we felt that we were part of the family. It was a special thing. As we grew older, our other close friends like Erik and myself started to look forward to the time we got to spend with John and Rita after our basement jam sessions as much as the time we spent with our friends there. It became clear pretty quickly that John cared about who we became as men and citizens as much as he did his own sons. The conversations and lessons that were shared in those years still stick with me to this day. He had this gift of imparting wisdom without being preachy. Aside from practicing what he was "preaching", I always try to emulate that way about him.

That tradition continued as we grew into young adults and the conversations and lessons became more tangible and applicable to the rites of passage we were going through. John had a way with words where he kept you engaged as he spun yarn...reeling you in and then sticking the landing with a point that stuck with you forever. Always over a drink and always in a jovial setting, but always making sure he reminded us about accountability, about how to carry ourselves as men and leaders, and always making sure we were saving money so that we can have the retirement bliss that he and Rita created in Shangri-la.

I will always cherish my relationship with John. I'm so very glad to have been able to stay connected with him. I had the honor of giving the best man speech at Erik's wedding (one of the aforementioned teenaged band members and fellow John Wright disciple). I had the even more distinct honor of having John Wright -- the Legend Himself!! -- congratulate me at the end of it and tell me how well I did. It's one of my last memories of him...I made him proud. I hope I always do :)

I'll miss you John. I thank you for raising some of the best men I'll ever have the pleasure to know in Jack and Curt. I don't know two people with a stronger sense of self and purpose, and a stronger moral compass to guide their lives. Your legacy is a beautiful family, and I like to think that I get to count myself a part of that legacy. Rita, Alice, Curt, and Jack - I am so sorry for your loss, but so glad to have known your father. May he rest in peace.

I first came to know John through stories, told by his daughter Alice, probably sometime during our undergraduate years at Wake Forest. Alice and I were friends in undergraduate, and had the good fortune of attending graduate school together as well at University of Michigan.

I finally met John on an unseasonably warm fall day in Ann Arbor. We attended the now infamous App State - Univ Michigan football game together (Sept 1, 2007, 34-32 App State upset). As Jack was currently attending App State, he proudly wore his son's college colors into the Big House and adamantly cheered on the mountaineers.

When I learned of his diagnosis years ago, I feared for him but I knew he would face the disease down with the same courage he had wearing the only black & gold shirt amidst a sea of maize and blue. If App State could pull out a miraculous victory on that day, then maybe too could John.

I hope you are playing a game of flagdragon with Richard Parker somewhere John. You will be missed.

I've had the good fortune of knowing John for most of my life. He's present in so many of my treasured memories. I'll never forget the proud handshake he gave me when I got into college, and that same handshake at my wedding fifteen years later.

In fact, I'm fairly certain I introduced my now-wife to John and Rita before introducing her to my own parents. We took a trip out to the farm in Marshall early on in our courtship. My plan was reasonable: if she could just meet my friends' cool parents, and spend some time on their gorgeous mountain property, surely she would see what a cool guy *I* must be, by association. After a few drinks I realized my mistake. I'd now introduced her to a standard of wit and charm -- namely, John -- that I could never hope to live up to. Well, it still worked out for me in the end.

For much of the time that I knew him, John took it upon himself to be something of a mentor. You see, John was one of the world's foremost experts on the stupidest human demographic: young men in their teens and early 20s. He had a *razor* sharp understanding of the ways that young men will be stupid. And so we got treated to many unforgettable speeches over the years -- alternately stern, loving, and hilarious -- that we still quote constantly...

"College, it was the best of times, it was the poorest of times."

"Have your fun now, but remember that one day you'll be pissing in a cup for the Man."

"You boys and your reefer!"

I don't know that John ever got seriously concerned about what we were doing or where we were headed, though I suppose he knew that even good kids can be one or two bad decisions away from something irreversible. Really I think it's just that he wanted to see us succeed SO badly. And god! did his kids succeed. An archaeologist, a lawyer, and a dentist. How classic-sounding is that? These are like, the first three answers you might get if you polled a class of elementary schoolers on what they hope to be when they grow up. Alice, Jack, and Curt: your dad was so unbelievably proud of you all.

The first time I spoke with John after his diagnosis was at Jack's wedding in 2017. It must've seemed like an elephant in the room, and he brought it up right away. His feelings were thoughtful and nuanced in a way that's still hard for me to process. He was scared, of course, but he was also so damned positive about it. He said he had an "expiration date," that everyone has one, they just don't know what it is, whereas now he more or less knew his. He talked about what that meant for him and the way he approached the remainder of his life. It's a conversation I'll always remember, and doubtless the most important of all his lessons.

I tell people that John's a hero of mine, and that's no exaggeration. He's a hero for his work ethic, for his family and the life he built for them, and for the way he faced dying.

Rest easy, John, and thank you for everything.

Rita, Alice, Jack and Curtis
There is this palpable squeezing in my heart knowing that John is no longer here with us. I am grateful for his larger than life personality that left us full of amazing memories. Not only was he a talker and debater, a fun-loving teaser, and a thinker, he was also one who could listen and be emotionally in tune. Even though he could be a jokester, he also cared deeply about the people he loved. John and Rita gave such a gift to us brothers and sisters by being so forthright as he faced his end of life journey. No small task.

Just a fond memory I have of my visit with John and Rita two years ago when I visited with them at their rental home in Blowing Rock. At this time they were in the process of building their new home in Morgonton, NC

Alone with John he commented, "I think we are a bit crazy to be designing and building a new home at this time, but I want Rita to have a nice home if she is left without me".

Alone with Rita she commented, "I think we are a bit crazy to be building a home at this time, but John loves the process and I want him to have something to focus on during this trying time".

Their love and strength touched my heart.

My deepest sympathy to John’s family and the entire Wright family. I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been for all of you to see him struggle for all those years. Hopefully, your memories of the time you spent with him, and enjoying him, will provide you some degree of solace. When the “Kirk” cousins gathered as we were all growing up, the scene was always wonderfully chaotic as four large families converged for Fourth of July or Thanksgiving celebrations. While we could all get lost in the unruly mob of about forty other “cousins”, John’s spirit and personality always made his visits memorable. I, and I believe all the cousins, have a feeling of kinship with, and pride in, our large extended family and John was very much a part of it.
Pat Meehan Family

After reading the summary of John’s life, Joe and I hope that such a well lived life has it’s comforts for those he leaves behind.
We send our best wishes that the pain of his passing is soon replaced with warm and cherished memories that sustain and warm you all.
Marge Meehan and Joe Proulx (Marge is John’s Aunt Gert’s middle child)

Our deepest sympathies go out to Rita, Alice, Jack, Curtis and all the Wrights. Please accept our condolences. We wish we could all pack a memorial service to express, in person, our heartfelt thoughts. All of the Wrights, Meehans and Noels have fond memories of our 1950’s holiday get-togethers.
BL and Kathleen Meehan

I remember John and Rita back in circa 1980s or early 1990s in downtown Washington, DC. They were with cousins Greg and Katie Pugliese. We all were watching a live Rock ‘n’ Roll band. Enjoyed talking with John and Rita very much.

At the time, I believe Greg was playing in a band. It was upstairs on the second floor of a bar right near Connecticut Avenue & Rhode Island Avenue, Northwest Washington, DC.

Brother John was one of a kind....and a great big brother.....alternately maddening and charming. He was larger than life and always brought the fun to family gatherings. He loved teasing which I didn’t mind because in a big family, ANY attention was good. I forgive him for hanging my Humpty-Dumpty doll from a noose when I was about 6 years old, but not for ruining Humpty’s felt eyes by putting cloths pins on them. ❤️
I’m comforted that he will be able to meet his fourth brother, Herbie, in heaven for the first time. I will miss John dearly but am grateful for the wealth of good times we shared. Soooo many good memories.
Love you, Brother. Rest easy. You did good and you died with grace just like our Mom taught us.

John will be greatly missed at future family gatherings.... never at a loss for words, he was a colorful, energetic presence. I will especially miss the after (sometimes during) dinner discussions/debates on whatever issue was brought up. 

John was a vibrant, dynamic presence at all of our family gatherings. His passing leaves a void in our lives, and he will be sorely missed. Thank you for sharing this site. John's was a life to be celebrated!

Bless you, John  All my love

Thank you so much for creating this site to celebrate John’s life. The pictures are wonderful, and I learned so much about John. An amazing man. And I never realized how much Joe looks like John. Joe’s a lucky guy. God bless the whole family.