ForeverMissed
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This memorial website was created in the memory of our loved one,

John Thomas Edwards, 70, born on January 14, 1941 and passed away on

November 10, 2011. We will remember him forever.


He has left a legacy with lots of instructions. Let us begin with his credo:


"One step at a time.  Take it easy.  Keep at it."
 


Please read "STORIES" which include some of his writings and tributes of others who knew him.

We invite you to share your own lasting imprint from John, his work and his wisdom.

FAMILY SYSTEMS and awareness of the WHOLE
was John's life work and what he taught.

How are we continuing this essential truth now in our own lives?
The John T Edwards Foundation is seeking to contact those who are interested in networking together to increase this much needed practice in our COVID world Right Now!
THANK YOU!

November 10, 2013
November 10, 2013
John you are still with us and helping direct things in our family life on this anniversary of your passing. We are having a memorial service for John and Lane in Fort Valley on Friday November 29th 2013. This will provide an opportunity for many of Lane and John's family in Georgia to have an observance of the placing of a memorial plaque for John and Lane beside their parents graves.
January 16, 2013
January 16, 2013
Seems like just yesterday I was talking with John about his book. His reply, " I think this will be my swan song". I was puzzled by that comment and went to my house knowing that simply meant the last book he would write. But John was not thinking of retiring, he was thinking of his condition and shortly thereafter left us. His memory still remains with me as we related on many subjects.
January 14, 2013
January 14, 2013
"On John's birthday I am reminded of how much all of the lives of those he touched have been enhanced by his presence. His presence lives on today in his legacy of love and wisdom of a life well lived. In deepest gratitude, Sid."
November 18, 2012
November 18, 2012
A year has passed since you departed this land but not completely for your calm presence remains with us forever.
November 18, 2012
November 18, 2012
Thanks to Theresa, and what she has shared from Wendell Berry so aptly in connection with John, is posted now in "Stories" for you to hear.
November 10, 2012
November 10, 2012
I didn't realize it's been a year since John went away. My mother also died a few months afterwards at the age of 92. It seems all my older friends are leaving and I look forward to that journey myself. I think with John, I remember a realist with kindness in the mixture. In this world, that's a hard thing to accomplish. We continue on the other side.
November 10, 2012
November 10, 2012
Good Morning John,
On this day I honor your passing and vividly remember your life as my brother. I will be with you as I offer this day of being with families to you. You are part of what I offer, the uninterrupted stream of love that we share. Brothers Always, Sid
November 10, 2012
November 10, 2012
We are honoring ONE YEAR today.

Your Spirit is Here, so strong, so very clear and present.
We give thanks for your life and breathe into this day and all the days to come with deepest love and appreciation for your continued brilliant legacy that lives on in all of us who knew you.
May 9, 2012
May 9, 2012
A Special Event honoring John T. Edwards, Ph.D. was held 5/11/12 at The Children's Home in Winston-Salem, NC. 

A team of colleagues and friends work to create a Foundation honoring Dr. Edwards' legacy of a systems approach to working with families.
April 1, 2012
April 1, 2012
Thank you for offering mentorship and sharing your gifts in regard to working with families with me. Families, nationwide, will benefit because of your life and your commitment to improving family life.
March 19, 2012
March 19, 2012
John was a special friend at a special time in my life...Helen, Ga. early 70's. A very kind person, always (psycho) analyzing and enjoying the little things in life. I hadn't seen him for almost 30 years but we had talked on the phone for the last 2 years about him visiting me in Helen where I have remained over the years. I wish we could've had that visit.
February 15, 2012
February 15, 2012
John, I am so grateful to the several short meetings and talks with you in Morehead. Your wise advices and warm comfort brightened up my heart. Your spirit will always be with us. We miss you!
Xiaomin Mai ( Cindy)
January 21, 2012
January 21, 2012
John touched my life deeply, along with so many of you, personally, professionally. I am so grateful to have known him and his family: my heartfelt condolences to you Lane, Kay, Jill, Sid et.al. My heart is hurting, as I just learned of John's death today, but, I agree with his buddhist friends: my pain is my ego's longing, for John is forever, as are we all.
January 15, 2012
January 15, 2012
From Erin Coyle, Carrboro, NC:
"It is only because of our misunderstanding that we think the person we love no longer exists after they "pass away". This is because we are attached to one of the forms, one of the many manifestations of that person. The person we love is still there. He is around us, within us, smiling at us."  ---Thich Nhat Hanh
January 14, 2012
January 14, 2012
Your sticky notes have left an imprint on my heart Dear Uncle John. It seems untrue that you are not with us, perhaps becauce your gentleness remains. Love and peace to you dear soul.
January 14, 2012
January 14, 2012
John, I didn't know you long, but I felt I knew you from some deep place in my soul. . . You were with us as wisdom; you still abide with us as peace. And somehow, on your birthday, your spirit is your gift to us. You are giving US the gift! How is that happening?

 I am so grateful for having known you.
January 14, 2012
January 14, 2012
Dear John,
I will always remember you for your peacefulness, gentleness, and kindness. You remain with us, always bringing comfort and warmth.
Love,
Dora
January 14, 2012
January 14, 2012
January 14, 2012
The Anniversary of your Birth, dear One.
Today the Carolina Wren here!
We honor you today, and every day, give thanks, for your many gifts, known now, deeply within us. Amazing, how you continue with us in so many ways. I will share your wonderful writing in STORIES: "Learning How to Live."
December 21, 2011
December 21, 2011
Through the years as my neighbor, John and I became friends. I found him to be reserved, intelligent and caring. Once, during a snow and the power outage kept everyone cold for two weeks, John brought my wife and I a thick comforter. He was always asking about our health and seldom mentioned his own problems. Each time we had conversation, I always came away a better person.
December 20, 2011
December 20, 2011
I am saddened to hear about the passing of Mr. Edwards. I pray that his family and friends find comfort in their memories of him. I utilize his teachings in my work with families on a daily basis and have witnessed the difference it makes in their lives. Even those that did not know Mr. Edwards have been touched by his passion for family therapy.
December 12, 2011
December 12, 2011
John! As I learn more and more about your life from your beloved friends, your path was the very same path I have been walking and seeking. I feel deeply connected with your life through your spiritual depth. It was a great honor to see your emancipated soul during your transition. May you rest in your true nature and return to continue our work together. Thank you, John. Deep bowing...
December 7, 2011
December 7, 2011
What an interesting time we had yesterday in the AAMFT group at The Children's Home that you've lead for nearly 20 years. We reviewed "Positive Reframing" from your Blue Book. Someone would read aloud the client statement and we would all try to reframe the statement. Then we would read YOUR reframing example out loud to see how close we got. It was like you were sitting right next to us.
December 7, 2011
December 7, 2011
John is the brother I have always wanted. We have had more than 50 years of the sweetest relationship, a vessel that contains the most benevolent truth that we seek and share. His presence is alive in me today. We visit on a regular basis. Hello John, Hi Sid.
December 5, 2011
December 5, 2011
I knew "John of the South" through my dear friend Mattie, who shared her deep love for this fine man with me many times, with many stories. I appreciated his care of the land, and his garden. I love the photo of him in the chair, with his gardening clothes on. Dear Mattie, you know my love flows toward you now. Thank you for creating this for John, and for your beautiful spirit of knowing.
November 28, 2011
November 28, 2011
John's wisdom lives on through me and so many others. You will be greatly missed. You are much loved!
November 27, 2011
November 27, 2011
John's mischievous grin and engaging personality allowed him to teach so naturally; with great ease and skill. I hear him inside my head regularly as I work with families, in a myriad of ways. For that I am ever grateful. He blessed us with his deep and abiding love of healthy relating, and with that twinkle in his eye. Blessings to his family. May you be in peace, John.
November 25, 2011
November 25, 2011
I miss my friend and colleague John. John influenced my clinical and administrative work for nearly 30 years and I will always remember his kind words and wonderful spirit that inspired me. I am thankful that John shared his talents and expressed an interest in me. Like many, I was blessed to be one of his friends.
November 22, 2011
November 22, 2011
His cause was never to offend and every creature was his friend---Carolyn and I will miss your insightful visits and phone conversations.My first cousin,my best friend ever,my brother---you leave us with much love and respect and a hole in our hearts.
November 21, 2011
November 21, 2011
I will never forget my dear friend and colleague John Edwards....he taught me so much about working with families and always made himself available for a consult. I so enjoyed also are conversations about meditation, healthy eating, and in general life. I feel honored to have known you John and to have been your colleague and friend. May your Beautiful Spirit rest in your original nature..
November 21, 2011
November 21, 2011
I had the incredible privilege and pleasure of training under John for the last almost 25 years of my career in substance abuse. John made something that can be complicated, working with families, look so easy I will always be grateful for what I learned from him and hope that his gentleness and kind spirit shows through with me as it did with him.
November 21, 2011
November 21, 2011
John shared with me some of the most insightful helping models & techniques I've ever known, and provided a solid foundation to a large NC Dept. of Educ. initiative in the 1990s. Even more significant, I found him to be immediately approachable, authentic & unassuming--despite his tremendous breadth. He left me with more of his considerable self & gifts in a short time than about anyone
November 21, 2011
November 21, 2011
So Sorry to hear about Dr. Edwards, didn't know him well. Although neighbors. Saw him walking in the neighborhood some. He did alot of amazing work at Duke. He had a great life and well respected person..I know he will be missed. You and his family are in our prayers and thoughts.
Nancy and Lad Dixon
November 20, 2011
November 20, 2011
Your quiet, calm, and peaceful demeanor will be missed. You had so much to teach and share, and by teaching me and so many others, you have touched the lives and hearts of countless people. Thank you for all you have done.
November 20, 2011
November 20, 2011
John and I reconnected in the 1990's after I retired here. When he was a student at EAO, 1959-61 I was his teacher and the director of the Glee Club, of which he was Vice President. After some personal contact, including meals together (with Ginger) I got in the habit of calling him twice a year, most recently in August. He did not speak of his leukemia. I will miss him, as will so many.
November 18, 2011
November 18, 2011
I received my most valuable training in family therapy from you, John. I remember how supportive you were when I called you out of the blue for help with a difficult family. You were so down to earth and easy to learn from. I'm very sad you've left us in body though you gave so much to all of us, your spirit won't ever really be gone from our hearts and minds.
November 18, 2011
November 18, 2011
Remembering "the look" you taught us (the surprised, eye brow raised); remembering "spoiled brat" levels; remembering you napping in your car during our training breaks; remembering you were a nice caring man; remembering that I will miss you
November 18, 2011
November 18, 2011
I learned about H. Peter Laqueur, MD, and Multiple Family Group Therapy from you while in Family Systems training with you at Randolph Clinic in Charlotte, NC, during the early 1980's. As a result it launched a family therapy/MFGT career for me and it is still alive today. www.multiplefamilygrouptherapy.com You gave me your time freely over the years. I thank you. You are missed.
November 17, 2011
November 17, 2011
You left us one week ago at the setting of the sun, and the rising of the full moon. It is impossible. Yet, here we are without you. Thank you for all of the bread crumbs you have left us for the path home. We love you and thank you all the day long.
November 17, 2011
November 17, 2011
"You left footprints on many hearts and echoes on many minds. What a treasure to spend time in your home with Mattie in 2009. The wonderful food, the pictures and stories, the laughter, are memories for a lifetime. You are a gift. Thank you!"
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Recent Tributes
November 10, 2023
November 10, 2023
Beloved John,
Today I gave a keynote at an event at Table Rock State Park in South Carolina. I thought to write and share here that I shared your CREDO with this beautiful group of participants in the Palmetto Women's Outdoor Adventure retreat. They loved: "One step at a time; Take it easy; Keep at it." Driving back home to NC I realized how your simple credo has carried me through so much and actually is a recipe for what
I teach in Mindfulness, "Loving Awareness" and "slowing down, to live fully". So simple. Like Thoreau. Like you. Your life and all you taught us is vibrantly alive in us and is being passed on with such openhearted, grateful people. I love honoring you this day.
November 10, 2023
November 10, 2023
John,

I celebrate your life well lived to benefit so many of us who shared you warm and loving company. Your legacy lives on in all of us. We continue to carry the torch that you lit in our hearts.
January 14, 2023
January 14, 2023
Today, January 14, 2023 I wrote the date and thought....this is JTE's Birthday.

I love these reminders of you. Of your beautiful life. Your shining influence on me yet and so many many people.

It seems incredible that you, the handsome young man I met when I was 19 and you were 26 is not here, but yet you live on in us all. May we make you proud.
Recent stories

From John's cousin Peggy

March 30, 2015

"I can't tell you how blown away by the Website and all the tributes to John. And when I came to "Farther Along" hearing him sing. Oh. my. goodness. I always thought it was just my Father and his brothers who would gather around the piano; I'd play and they'd sing "Farther Along." But it must have been their parents- brothers Oscar, (John's Grand dad), John (my Grand Dad) , J. D., Will, Mike (Walter) Clyde who sang it because John would have heard it from his Mother Raynelle- it had to have been a favorite family song. Or maybe John just liked it, but the inner-connectedness of us all is amazing. Oh, how I wish I could have known John as the incredible adult person he was. What a legacy he left. He was so sweet as a boy. I don't think there was a mean bone in his body. He had early lessons in pain, disappointment and forgiveness. I heard a great definition of humility that does apply and describe John. "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less." I believe that was John. The 9 fruits of the Spirit. I call them "Love Potion # 9"- Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Humility, Self-Control. The John I remember was the epitome of Love Potion # 9.

Katherine Townsend 1983 Interview with John for the ADAP-ter

February 13, 2015

K = Katherine Townsend
Dr. E.= John T. Edwards, PhD

K: Dr. Edwards, you are involved in treating substance abuse problems on a family level.  What advantage does this type of treatment have over the more traditional methods, like group or individual therapy?
Dr. E: The major advantage I have found, and I've done all three over the past five years, is that family therapy takes on more importance to the drug dependent individual.  That is, his motivation level is higher. The important people around him, many of whom control some of the resources the drug dependent person needs are there, and are reacting to the identified patient in ways that sometimes help maintain the problem.  So, breaking into the enabling pattern is very important.
K: To what extend are families involved in what seem to be individual problems such as drinking too much or drug abuse?
Dr. E: A recent Gallop poll conducted through out the U.S., that came out about 6 weeks ago, inndicated that one out of three families have a problem with substance abuse.  That's quite a high statistic and it was one that surprised many people.
K: What evidence do you have that family treatment is more effective than individual or group treatment?
Dr. E: There is evidence from research conducted in various places, but notibly in Philadelphia by M.D. Stanton, that bringing in the family in drug dependent problems leads to a more successful outcome.  That is if you measure outcome by the two main criteria of amount of time without drugs and no criminal activity.  My own experience and some of the readings I've done indicate that there is more success when you bring in the families of the drug dependent person.
K: You mostly work in the Structural/Strategic models of family therapy.  What are the assumptions of this model and how does it differ from other family therapy methods?
Dr. E: Structureal Family Therapy and Strategic Family Therapy are not the same.  They do have different ways of approaching the problems.  The Structural model and Strategic model do share however, some common assumptions.  One of these is that a long standing chronic symptom of most any type, including drug abuse, is being maintained in its social context.  That's a very important assumption for doing therapy.  The primary social context for most people is the family. 
         Another assumption that is made about this model is that in a drug dependent family, the recurring patterns of relating to each other have in some way violated certain principles of hierarchy and boundries.  By that I mean the power structure in the family have been distorted or reversed, like a child may have more power than the parents.  Boundries may be unclear, like an overinvolved mother with a son.  Some of these patterns sometimes result in symptoms like drug abuse.
        A third assumption is that changing these family patterns or structure will change the experiences of each member, and remove the need for the symptom, thus allowing a new growth process to begin in the family.
K: In the model you use, what would one be trying to accomplish by seeing, for example, a drug abusing young person with his/her family?
Dr. E: By young person I am going to assume we're talking between the ages of 13 and 25.  In the majority of the cases that I have supervised or worked with in this age range have a problem with beginning and maintaining their own independence.  That is, it is a separation issue.  They are overly involved with their nuclear family (mother, dad and siblings) or they have unsuccessfully tried to leave homme and are unable to be self sufficient.  Therefore, seeing the entire family helps to reorganize them to motivate the young person to allow for the separation to occur successfully.
K: How long would one work with a particular family?  How many sessons are involved?
Dr. E: I like to see a family between 8 and 15 sessions.  However, the average is less than that with this population.  I believe that some long standing and enduring structural change can occur within the 8 to 15 session range for at least 80% of the families.
K: Does family therapy take more time?
Dr. E: In terms of total treatment hours it probably takes less time.  Things happen faster in family therapy; therefore, fewer sessions are needed.
K: Is it best to use co-therapists with families or a single therapist?
Dr. E: I like to work with a special kind of co-therapy model.  That is, only one therapist in the room with a family.  However, I strongly believe in having the support of a supervisor or colleagues, who, if the equipment is available, can be observing the session behaind the mirror, with the family's permission.  So, it's a special type of co-therapy model.  Only one therapist is in the room at a time.
K: If this model does not advocate co-therapists in the room, are you saying that one therapist could do this without any support from anyone else?
Dr. E: Even thhough there is only one therapist in the room at a time, I believe no one should attenpt to do family therapy entiirely alone.  There should be colleagues or others involved in the work that the therapist can talk to and invite to observe sessions to give feedback.
K: Many families are extremely resistant to discussing drug problems with a therapist.  How do you get these families to come in?
Dr. E: If you have administrative support, you can make it a general policy that all people below a certain age would have to have their familiies in for at least an assessment interview.  However, if you are not working with young people in a family, you're working with young adults who are not in the nuclear family, then you have to see them on an individual basis and begin discussing family relationships.  Gradually, over one or two sessions, the therapist is able to build a sound rationale for including the family.  It would be important, however, that the therapist contact the family and not go through the identified patient (IP) to get the family in.  The therapist needs to get permission from the IP and contact the family directly.  Everyone living in the home should attend the first family session.
K: How much training does it take to do family therapy?
Dr. E: The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) has set the standard of 200 hours of training plus 1000 hours of actual experience with a family to be certified as a clinical member in their organization.  I believe, however, that competent family work can begin (with support of colleagues) with less training than that, perhaps in the 60 to 80 hour range, not all of which would be in room with the family wiith supervision, but most of which would.
K: How would an individual or an agency that wanted to learn family therapy begin?
Dr. E: By attending one or more workshops.  I have noticed, particularly in the past year and a half, that there has been a fairly dramatic increase in the amount of training workshops in family therapy.  There are perhaps six major schools of family therapy.  Structural is one, and Strategic is a second.  But the four others are also widespread.  I would recommend that a beginning therapiist choose a workshop, find if that model suits their particular style, and if so, inquire from the workshop leader where further training can be obtained.
K: What are some of the training resources in the nearby area?
Dr. E: I'm not familiar with all the ongoing supervision type training of this model in North Carolina.  In know that the Randolph Clinic and Open House are collaborating in Charlotte to provide this training, and I know that some is provided by the Family Therapy Learning Center in Raleigh.  I'm not familiar with others who are available as trainers, but I believe they do exist in the state.  The therapist would just have to ask around in order tto find out about this.
K: Does it take any special equipment or facilities to do family therapy?
Dr. E: It's highly advantageous, almost necessity, to have some way that the single therapist working wiith a family can be observed by a supervisor or colleague.  The easiest way this is accomplished is through the one way mirror with microphone and videotape.  The family, of course, gives permission in writing for this observation to occur.  If the one way miirror is not available, and neither is videotape, then I would suggest that the colleagues work together in the room.  However, only one therapiist would deal with the family, the other would sit nearby but stay out of the action.  That would allow processing to occur between the colleagues after the session.
K: Would you mind people who are interested in further information about family therapy contacting you directly?
Dr. E: No, I would be delighted.  I like to talk with anyone about family therapy training.  I would like to see it become a more common therapeutic approach in this state.  I can be called at (704) 376-2431, which is the Randolph clinic where I am employed as a consultant and trainer.
K: For a therapist beginning family work, what readings would you recommend?
Dr. E: I would recommed for this particular approach, any books by Salvadore Minuchin or Jay Haley.  Minuchin has written or co-authored three books.  The latest of which is entitled Family Therapy Techniques which I believe is an excellent book.  Jay Haley has written seven books, perhaps the best of which for the beginner is Problem Solving Therapy, published in 1976.  However, there are many excellent books on the market these days and they seem to be increasing in number.  I understand there will be a bibliography of family therapy books in this issue of the ADAP-ter.
K: Yes there is, it's on page 9, and thank you for this interview Dr. Edwards.

This interview was conducted in early 1983 by Katherine Townsend who collaborated with Lewis Foster to produce a Western Region newsletter for professionals working with chemically dependent clients. 

At Our Back

January 14, 2015

John and I shared a rich history together from the time I met him in Fort Valley in 1957 when I started dating his sister Elaine.  Elaine and I eventually married and John became the "brother" ,more than brother-in-law, I had always wanted.  We shared families with alcohol problems which, in part, became the fire that helped shape us into family therapists.  He and I shared attending Emory University and being members of Kapha Alpha fraternity graduating 3 years apart.  

Upon John's return from service in the Navy in the Viet Nam war he worked towards his PhD in counseling psychology at the University of Ga where I had earned my PhD in clinical psychology in 1968.  He moved to Charleston SC where I supervised his PhD dissertation on the use of meditation to help people reduce and stop smoking cigarettes.  This was a habit he reduced but never completely gave up but he did conquer the use of alcohol for himself and helped many others do the same.  

After completing his PhD John took over my job as Director of Mental Health and Substance Abuse at the Franklin Fetter Health Center in Charleston, SC.  This  allowied me to work full time in the Department of Psychiatry at the Medical University of SC where I taught indivdual and family therapy, as well as community psychology.  

My gratitude towards John as an uncle extraordinary to my children and their families is un-ending.  As seen on this site he was there for an inestimable number of friends, trainees, families and colleagues.  In his final moments in the hospital he was counseling the staff that attended him.  He was always at our backs and still is.

Your Brother,

Sid   



 

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