John was sober for four years and not one slip. The John I knew wasn't the John that a lot of people knew. I knew the John that wanted to become the John that had a heart of gold. The church John the religious side of John the John that taught Isabella how to pray every morning when he woke up and every night before you went to sleep.

John had became a family man instead of the party John. He learned how to let go of grudges and not let things get to him. He had became a person of faith to watch the sign and follow with his heart. He have let go of a lot of different things a lot of different ghosts in his life he said goodbye to his passed. He had let go of all the hurt. He had made peace with his mom.

He was happy we were happy.  We couldnt wait for Isabella to grow up and go to school. He would joke with her and say, "I cant wait til you bring home a boy. Because I am going to open the door and say Hello." Now I personally wanted this to come true.  Could you imagine a 6'3 football player looking man staring down a kid.

 He had dreams of being the best husband and father. Wanted to build a white house with a wrap around porch. With a tire swing for Bells. 
  

 We were a family we are very happy. So many stories to tell John love taking Isabella to the park to see the ducks or to the park to get on the slides and run around with her at the park. He once showed her how to fly a kite he told her the story about how he was a little boy he was flying a kite and he tie the rope the lawn mower. And he went inside to watch one of his favorite shows. Went back outside and the kite was still flying. He love the watching movies Star Wars the Big Bang. He quote every show that he saw. It was funny sometimes he be talking to me but he was quoting shows or movies. And I would tell him do you have any thoughts of your own and he would come up with the quote from a movie.

John had a heart of gold, a temper that could cause an earthquake and a smile that could make you believe.  I could never stay mad at him long because he would always make me laugh.  Oh and he had a hug that just made you melt.  Bear Hugs he always said, "If your going to hug someone do it right the first time."   

 Isabella was born I just remember him holding her this little tiny person that literally fit in one palm of his hand. If you can imagine a 6'3 football player looking guy crying while he was holding his daughter. And he looked at me and said I promise I am going to take care of my girls. He changed her first diaper and talk to her for the first time. Mind you he put the diaper on backwards and used a whole pack of wipes. He even called the nurse and said, "I have an emergerncy in here." I remember 2 doctors and 3 nurses running in ready to roll. And he said, "Oh I am sorry I just meant I am out of diapers."

While I slept in the hospital I could hear this god awful voice singing, " You are my sunshine". And I remember looking over at him as he was rocking her to sleep. Her eyes were wide open looking at her daddy and he was looking straight at her. Like nobody was in the room but the two of them. 

We grew into our little family in our one bedroom apartment.