I had the opportunity to read this letter to my dad about a month before he passed.

Dear Dad-

There is not a day that will pass that I will not miss you. You have always been a constant in my life. You have always been there to support me, to celebrate my wins and to help me find my way forward when I needed you. You came to all of my soccer games and cross country meets despite my protests. You cheered me on when I ran the Chicago marathon and even made custom shirts of me with “run Lisa run.” You came to all of my graduations and there were a lot of them –high school, college, medical school, residency, fellowship. We haven’t always seen eye to eye but that’s mostly because of our similarities and our stubbornness.

From a young age, you taught me how to research and look things up. Even an easy question was answered by asking me to bring over the Miriam Webster dictionary or the Britannica encyclopedia to look it up- not because you didn’t know the answer- but so you could teach me how to find the answer on my own. I found this infinity annoying in the moment- but so appreciative in retrospect. Out of this grew a deep sense of curiosity and work ethic - albeit sometimes to my detriment as I constantly struggle to find that work- life balance.

You taught me how to hammer, lay bricks, strip paint, and build Ikea furniture. Although I saw this as child labor at the time, I now see the positives. This last part of learning how to build Ikea furniture was vitally important as I understood the importance in finding a partner also fluent in IKEA language to do this annoying task instead of me.

You taught me the love for all forms of arts and entertainment. From going to art museums with our sketch pads, to going to all of the musicals- maybe too many musicals- to buying tickets for Jeff and I to attend Steppenwolf in Chicago, to attending Ravinia in Chicago to listen to concerts, to seeing movies- so many movies - your appreciation of the arts was instilled in me.

You taught me the importance of family and connection. If there was family or distant friend in diving distance to where we were visiting - we were going to see them. Even obscure second cousins I had never heard of. From the moment I saw you interact with them- I understood. They were your people and time or distance didn’t matter. Even it had been over 25 years. Your loyalty and friendship prevailed. I remember this particularly driving back from San Diego for an internship before my senior year of college meeting up with an old friend from Vietnam. My naive self didn’t understand why we were meeting a fiend you hadn’t seen in decades. But this was a timeless camaraderie and friendship.

When you felt up for it, you would be the life of the party. At other times you would escape to your computer in the basement or downstairs. But no matter what, any guest or company that came over felt your love. You quickly became a favorite among my college, medical school and residency friends. There was hardly ever a dull moment of conversation at the dinner table because of you.

I have a love for travel and the outdoors because of you. From visiting Zion to Yellowstone to Glacier National Parks. These were often combined with epic cross country road trips. Enough distance has passed that I now want to do this for my kids. We also did epic adventure tripe like canoeing in Minnesota to taking a mule down to see the Grand Canyon. You were always full of ideas- like driving our new minivan into the sand only to have it immediately sink into the sand or taking Michelle and I on black diamonds that we protested going down. As an adult you generously shared this love for travel with trips to Greece for your 40th wedding anniversary and then to Spain for your 50th anniversary.

I am always in awe about your military career. This is something I could never have done. As a corpsman in Vietnam, you were awarded the Purple Heart and Bronze Star. You made a career from an enlistee to an officer, retiring as a Captain. I remember attending your retirement ceremony in 1999 and I felt such an immense sense of pride of all that you had done and given during your service.

All of this is directly with or because of mom. I understand that no one can be successful or great without the right partner by their side. The love that you and mom have is palpable. You raise each other up. These last 6years have been filled with struggle after struggle- but your love for each other has been a defining feature. You truly found your soul mate in mom.

Although you were not able to pass along your faith or religion to any of us, I know that my core ethics and sense of morality are grounded in the Christian principles passed along by you and mom. Max asked me the other day if I believed in an afterlife and I said, “I don’t know, but it would be nice and comforting if there was one.” When I asked him what he thought, he said, “yes, I believe in an afterlife.”

You have lived an incredible life and I believe that you have created the legacy that you hoped for in your children and grandchildren. I am always amazed as how successful Michelle, Shon and I have become. I personally could not have become who I am without you and Mom. My success is a direct extension of my family. I know you are proud of us. I will just say that I am so fortunate to have you and mom as my parents.

There are so many things that I will miss when you are gone – your smile, your stories, your advice, watching you interact with the grandkids, and the comfort of you just being there. I promise to help keep your spirit alive and I will never stop talking to you.

I love you.

Lisa