Joseph Alessandro DePaolis held many titles—Dad, Joe, Grandpa, Pop Pop, Grandpap, Papa, Sir, Uncle Joe, Mr. D—all special titles and salutations meant for a man who is immensely cherished, admired, respected, and now deeply missed.
Thank you for being with the DePaolis family today to honor and commemorate a great man. I’m Patti DePaolis, married to Jeff, and we’re here with our three daughters; Jeff and I live in Denver. I have affectionately called Joe “Father” for 25 years now. I met Joe and Shirley while they were enjoying the fruits of their well deserved, slower paced days, when they were spending fun and enjoyable time with their growing grandchildren.
Joe’s heritage, his interests, his values and beliefs have deep roots that—through his lifetime of 90 years—have sprouted lasting legacies that have prospered and benefited us all. Each one of us here today has had our lives shaped and enriched thanks to Joe DePaolis’s friendship and care.
Joe’s parents immigrated to Altoona, Pennsylvania, having been born in Italy. His Mom, Anna Giacomobone, and Dad, Alessandro,were from the town of Pontecorvo, a Province of Frosinone, located southeast of Rome. A family of Italian Catholics who were devoted to homesteading their property for their family, growing food and tending to their vines, and preparing a table of food at any hour of the day or night for family and friends. Joe had four siblings, and dear Aunt Linda still lives in Altoona.
These roots sprouted the gifts of hospitality and generosity, that came naturally to Joe and Shirley. This is how I came to know them. In the Fall of 1997 Jeff brought me to Rochester to attend a Penn State game with his parents. This began our tradition for the next 16 years. It was revealing and astounding to me that they would drive for almost five hours to get to State College. Revealing to me was Joe’s pride and loyalty for the University that had served & educated him so well, for the football team lead by the dedicated Joe Paterno, another Italian family man, and, of course, Father's esteemed love for his family living in Altoona. Astounding to me was the hard work and time it took to prepare for game day. Traveling in the big van, loaded with so many supplies, treats, coffee for the a.m. and wine for the p.m., we traversed Pennsylvania having interesting and fun conversations the entire drive, while marveling at the scenic fall colors. Joe found deep intrinsic happiness in the beauty of God’s marvelous creations. These were really special road trips. Once we arrived, it was time for the incredible tailgate that these two hosted so easily. This unique football experience was extended each home game to family and friends for over two decades. Very impressive to me also was Father’s demeanor once in the stadium.He loved walking up the steep stadium ramps to our seats. He appreciated the exercise & spectacular views. His binoculars always draped around his neck, his headphones ready to listen to the play-by-play calls, and it all began with the singing of the National Anthem and ended with the Alma Mater. Father sang both so proudly, whether we won or lost. WE ARE—and he was—Penn State!
If we were traveling on that Sunday, we would find a Catholic church to attend Mass before heading home. Never a weekend that Joe would miss Mass, and thanks to him and Shirley, I can say I have seen some beautiful and special churches across the country.
Upon arriving back home to Panorama Trail, it didn’t matter if it was 2 am, the van would be unloaded, all the food and supplies put away, and then Father would set the table for breakfast. His boundless energy and desire to take care of others was so charming. These special weekends were topped off with visits from Jeff’s siblings and their families before we had to fly back to Denver. Joe & Shirley’s kitchen was a comforting and familiar place to gather. Grandma’s pantry was the grandchildren’s absolute favorite—an abundance of savory and sweet snacks to satisfy all—and she always had Joe’s favorite pastries well stocked too.
It did not take long for me to see how impactful Joe and Shirley’s values and love of family were sprouted and continue to be deep rooted today. To every member of this DePaolis family, it is evident that each one of you exemplify goodness, love of family, the desire to nurture strong and lasting friendships; you are honest, loyal, demonstrate integrity; you possess a strong work ethic, an appreciation for learning, you extend yourself to others, AND so important—you create joy and laughter and fun memories. Now who does this sound like—what a role model we had! We all have to believe that the two who set the examples for us are dancing in Heaven, knowing that what they started will be carried forward for generations.
Going back to sports for a moment, no one was prouder or bigger supporters of their children’s athletic endeavors! I hear they were the epitome of the high school Booster Clubs. I got to see first hand how they enjoyed and cheered on their grandchildren’s involvement in athletics, and oh boy, were they the loudest cheerleaders out there! Whether on the field or in the classrooms, the pride exuded when they spoke about each one of you and your varied talents. Often when they visited us in Denver, we were able to enjoy soccer tournaments in our beautiful mountains.
I would be remiss if I did not mention Father’s defining sense of style and dress! Whether he was going to work, to church, to the many high school and college graduations, and even on an airplane in 2021, he definitely was the most dapper looking gentleman in the group donning his sport coat and tie. And what about his beautiful head of hair—through the Covid years that he allowed Michael and family to cut on his deck! PS, He wanted them to blow him off post hair cut with the leaf blower :-)
The sprouts of relationships are deep rooted. The far-reaching friendships that Joe nurtured throughout his life are admirable.
He found it so interesting to learn about people, he was intrigued with their stories, and he was a life-long learner. (This is why this church is full today!)
This camaraderie made lasting and enduring connections in his life. The very fact that he and Shirley had the largest database of some 160 people with whom they exchanged Christmas cards each year is SO special and speaks to their loving and caring personalities. No finer example of Jesus’s faithful, loving servants.
Father Jim and Deacon Ray, Joe truly enjoyed your friendship, as well as your church leadership. This was his second home.
The truest testament to the goodness and tenacity of Joseph DePaolis was his loving devotion and care for his best friend and wife of 65 years. When Shirley became ill, Joe was by her side for 10 months; his attention and advocacy for her was an extraordinary act of love to witness.
He diligently carried on her legacy by continuing all the acts of love she cherished. Each of us—and there are 24—continued to receive personalized birthday cards from him, which he knew was so important to Mom. All of us know what a huge act of selfless love that was because Father was not one to frequent Hallmark.
Father, you are now Safely Home and helping God watch over us all. You and Mom fill our hearts with love every single day, and you remain our Beacon of Light. How we miss, Andiamo! Andiamo!
No finer legacy do you leave than your Grandkids & GreatGrands, and here are their memorable and cherished moments with you:
Jessi says Harry & Emmy’s favorite PopPop time was watching fireworks with him at Midvale’s Founder’s Day celebration. As the first grandchild, Jessi fondly remembers,“As a child, it was my sleepovers with Grandpa and Grandma that were the best. We’d have a snacky dinner and stay up late watching old shows, especially I Love Lucy episodes. Jessi’s husband, Dan, said he always enjoyed seeing Grandpa Joe at his house during the holidays, sitting at the head of the big dining room table, happy that family was gathered together.
Mark has fond memories sitting with Grandpa helping him with his computer, and talking about a variety of topics while enjoying a generous pour of bourbon.Mark tells of his special experiences going to the Penn State games. “Grandma, Grandpa, my Dad, and I all piled into the car on game day. We were so excited to get down there, park, and bust out the grill that Grandpa would cook up his sausage, peppers, and onions on.We cooked all manner of meals over the years at those tailgates but his sausage with peppers and onions was hands down my favorite and made for the best late night meal back at the hotel after the day was done.
Mark’s wife, Eliana, shares her special story: “Grandpa Joe always offered a glass of wine anytime we came to visit. Five pm dinner, glass of wine? 11 am visit, glass of wine?I always obliged because you just don’t say no to Grandpa Joe. That is until the day we were going to tell him I was pregnant with Ruby. We stopped at his house and after our usual exchange of pleasantries he offers me a glass of wine. I let him know I cannot this time because I’m pregnant with his third Great Grandchild, and he was ecstatic! So happy in fact he hugged me again and asked, “So how about that glass of wine?”
Tyler’s favorite moments with Papa were these:Having breakfast on Papa’s beautiful deck at 341 Panorama Trail while listening to stories he would tell us about his life. I remember he told us one about when he hitchhiked to a job interview when he was in his 20s!
Caroline fondly says this, “One of the many things I admired about Papa was his work ethic and his desire to always help others. It makes me want to work hard every day. For this reason, one of my most special memories I have is laying at the pool with Papa, tanning, and reading together. It was so nice and peaceful to be with him and it made me so happy!
Gale added that when twins Tyler and Caroline were born, and Grandma and Papa were visiting them in the hospital, Shirley was holding Caroline and Joe was holding Tyler. He had a huge smile on his face and said, “This time around there is one for me to hold!”
Alec writes this about his Papa, an essay written during his college senior year:
Golfing with my Grandfather is about everything except golf. Neither of us can boast about our golf game, but we enjoy the time spent on the course anyway. I can assure you that these golf outings do not make either of us better golfers. But, I do come away with something else.
Papa usually starts to ask questions about my schoolwork while we are still in the parking lot, walking to the course. Then comes his “Grandfatherly advice” about the importance of doing well in school and working hard. Not to say that this is bad advice, but it is all stuff that I have heard before. While he fails to teach in that regard, he succeeds in another, more indirectly. It is his actions on the course that speak the loudest, not his words. Watching him play golf is an experience that is as enjoyable as it is enlightening. It is hard to hold back the laughter when he makes a good shot and says, “Even the blind squirrel finds the acorn occasionally.” However, it is when he makes a bad shot that the learning begins. After every bad shot—trust me, there are many of them—he seems to move right on to the next one. There are never any signs of anger or frustration. He seems to enjoy the game for the sake of the game. One bad shot will certainly not ruin his day, and neither will twenty bad shots. While watching him throughout the years, I have come to the realization that in golf, there will always be a next shot. This next shot is a second chance, another opportunity to succeed—in life, at work, and on the course. All this, my Grandfather has taught me on a golf course. I will bet that he had no idea he was providing me with such an important life lesson when his ball rolled two feet past the hole—or after coming up short on the previous putt—then saying, “Feast or famine, feast or famine.” Then, he’d sink his next putt and walk to the next hole, whistling and looking up at the sky.
Alec’s fiancé, Leighanna, says this, “One of my favorite things about Grandpa DePaolis was that he made everyone, including me, feel like family. He was so warm and welcoming to all, and I loved spending time with him.
Jordan cherishes this, “I’ll never forget receiving the biggest and tightest hugs from PopPop and always a cheek squeeze, as he said, “Jordy, how’s my Man Mountain Dean?” He proceeded with, “how is school going”—and, after I graduated college, how my work was going. The trait of his that stood out to me was how he was so selfless. When he answered my phone calls to their house phone, we would chat for less than a minute before he said, “Let me get Mimi for you.” This was not because he didn’t want to talk to me; he just knew that Mimi wanted to catch up the most.”
Shelli shares this: “Grandpap and I had a special email relationship. I will always cherish how interested he was in my professional development and his words of encouragement in the quintessential Grandpap style. Here are 3 of my favorites.
When I was unemployed during Covid and a potential employer was taking weeks to get back to me:
Did you get the position?? If not, remind them that General Eisenhower, During WW 2 launched the greatest war offensive maneuver with the NORMANDY INVASION in less time than it is taking them to make this decision
When I started my travel business:
Congratulations! Self-employment?? Go for it!! Having your own business is probably the last vestige of you becoming wealthy. In retrospect, when I think back, I should have started my own business in 1968 instead of making others a millionaire. I don't fret over it though because back then I had NO capital, nor connections to get it, and I had the seven of us to feed and 5 to educate! I'll be on your Board of Directors, Shelli!! I KNOW YOU WILL MAKE IT!!
And a favorite note that made me feel especially loved:
Just received your ELEGANT (and expensive) birthday card with your generous best wishes!! I will take your advice and have a Bourbon Old Fashioned and drink to YOUR HEALTH! Love you, Grandpap
And Paige has 2 special memories:
A fond memory from growing up is actually a beloved habit of Grandpap’s and one that will likely shock *no one*. Through years of visits to the Panorama Trail house, come bedtime Grandpap would set out on his nightly routine, and no—I don’t mean just brushing his teeth and setting a coffee timer for the next morning. His nightly routine included FULLY setting the table up in advance of breakfast the next morning. And we’re talking placemats, plates, silverware, coffee cups, juice glasses, and thebread basket. Talk about thorough and efficient! I tried to reflect on why this small gesture was so permanently fixed in my brain, and my theory is this: this gesture was not just driven by Grandpap’s ‘Type A’ personality, but was a small gift for guests and family. A man ruled by principal and “what is right” would never dream of letting a guest set the table! But the thing that really sets him apart is that he’d do the same for even one guest AND he certainly did this for just himself and Grandma regularly. Even when visiting us in Denver, he was the first to rise, and he would set our table in the same exact fashion.
We can’t talk about Grandpap without acknowledging the FORCE with which he greeted us kids after time apart. His booming voice would say, without fail, “PAIGEY, HOW THE HECK ARE YOU, DEAR?!” as he would clap my face between both hands, taking in my presence before him. But that’s not where the “traditional greeting” ended. It was swiftly followed by the genuine and urgent question, “How’s school, you getting good grades?” Which later and more recently in life shifted to, “how’s work, are they paying you enough?” This encapsulated Grandpap’s essence so much—direct and with a focus on academia and work. But what we also have to acknowledge was that while Grandpap was traditional in his values in many ways, he championed us in ways I didn’t anticipate. Never, in all my “post-grad” years, did he insist I needed to “settle down” by meeting a guy or “just be grateful for the opportunity” when it came to work. He always surprised me in the ways he’d root for me; he’d root for all of us in ways I didn’t anticipate. But that’s the beauty of relationships. And what a beautiful way that Grandpap showed his love.
And now Noah will speak about his beloved PopPop.
