Josh I'm having a tough day. I guess I never realized how close we really were even when you were locked up and far away you have always been my escape. When I'm down and I realized how alone I am in this world without friends or family there was always you! Even if it was to write to you to vent you were my person and I was yours. When those bitches judged me and dropped me like a bad habit I still had you no judgement. I never judged you either even when I knew you were wrong because I knew the real you and you did the same because you knew the real me. We knew each other's hearts were pure and that everyone makes mistakes. I know that I have been accused of making to many excuses for you over the years but it was only because of that reason I knew you were a good person doing bad things and I wanted so much to reach you and let you know it didn't have to be that way. I guess like a mother views a child you could do no wrong in my eyes. My heart was blinded by you and your shine that you never could see in yourself. I always wished you could see yourself through my eyes. Even more so though I wished I could see myself through your eyes. You had a way of making me feel like the best woman in the world. Everyone deserves that, everyone deserves to feel that way. I hope I made you feel that way at least once in your life. Thank You for being that person for me for so long Josh I no longer have someone who makes me feel that way. Your appreciation and love were needed and appreciated. I always knew how you felt. You always made me feel like the best mom, the best friend, the best person you always told me you appreciated me and loved me. Your the only one who has made me feel appreciated for the things I've done in my life. The only one who ever acknowledged my struggle and success. Thank You.... It wasn't supposed to end this way