CHRIST UNITED METHODIST CHURCH, Great Falls, MT
EULOGY by Joyce's daughter Ronelle
Our tears are the measure of our joy and love and when they fill up our well, we will drink again our joy and love.
My mom was beautiful, inside and out. She loved beautifully and she loved much. She loved beautiful things and beautiful clothes and most especially the color red!
Besides people, I think she loved adventure and travel the most. She demanded and inspired excellence and taught me the value of working hard. But being a scholar and musician was not enough, mom wouldn’t let me stay in my room studying all the time like I wanted to. Every weekend she would make us go out on a wonderful excursion.
She loved exploring the countryside by car and on foot. Intrepid adventurers, she and dad were always sending me pictures from their trips and the “furthermost point” of somewhere. The first time I went out with a hiking group I was asked if I had ever hiked before and I said, “Does climbing up a mountain on the spur of the moment with no provisions of any kind count?”
As a young woman, my mom loved social events and often played the piano for dances. She loved big band music and ragtime. My grandmother also played ragtime and loved dance music. Mom loved dancing and was an excellent dancer. Dad says that in the past few years mom played ragtime more than any other music.
For my lifetime I will continue this tradition. I certainly treasure my ability to play piano, violin and various other instruments. My mom was the only piano teacher I ever had and I always felt so lucky to be part of a musical family with mom playing piano, Viggo on cello and me playing the violin. I am thrilled and am sure I will be terribly moved by the performance of Ave Maria at the end of this service as it was a piece mom and I performed several times on Christmas Eve.
Mom was very proud to have graduated from the Sherwood School of Music under the instruction of local legend, Edna Jorgenson. In addition to teaching piano for over 50 years, she was a member of Great Falls Music Teachers and the Music Teachers State and National Associations since 1955. Edna thought mom could have been a professional performer. What an immense legacy she created when she chose to be a teacher instead.
I’ve always been told that my father, Ronald Armstrong, in addition to being an extremely funny person, was crazy head-over-heals in love with mom. There is extensive documentation to prove this in the large volume of letters he wrote to her when stationed overseas during World War II. At first, my grandfather was possibly as much or more in love with Ronnie than mom was because of all the boxes of chocolate he delivered to their house. After a long courtship due to the war and Ronnie’s college years, they married and apparently my father finally convinced mom to give in and have a child (whew)! Although she had been resistant, mom always told me it was about the best thing she ever did.
I grew up living next door to my mom’s parents on 8th Ave S, a wonderful arrangement for all of us. I remember sitting out and enjoying our joint yards full of abundant flowers and bountiful vegetable gardens planted by mom and grandpa. Grandpa lying in his hammock and the rest of us talking, playing and watching the clouds make pictures. Mom also enjoyed extended family as a child because her mother's parents, the Barleys, moved to Great Falls from Missouri just as her parents had.
Mom was a beloved and devoted daughter. She did well in school and was very creative in many ways which she never counted as skills. She tried to teach me how to draw but she was such a fine sketch artists I couldn’t compete. She painted a nature mural on our basement wall which I know was still in existence just a few years ago and may be still. She wrote stories when she was young and I wondered what might have happened if she had chosen to be a writer. And, she was definitely the best cook in the world! Simple, healthy meals, simply THE BEST.
My father died from ALS after suffering several years with this devastating disease. We watched him waste away and lose control of his body in horrific ways. But my mom was determined to take care of him at home for as long as possible and she did, despite it being terribly demanding both physically and emotionally. In this she exhibited a kind of strength and love that are the best of what we can be as human beings. She continued to visit him every day for the weeks he lay dying in the hospital while at the same time having to care for me, her toddler, and trying to bring in more piano students in order to support us. In watching and caring for my own partner who suffered for many years then died from cancer, I came to more fully understand who my mom was and how incredible she was. Having this tragic bond brought us even closer together.
Mom married Viggo when I was six and he has been a fine, fine dad to me for 46 years. I was not so sure of him at first, especially when he shot Bambi on our first (and last) hunting trip, but I was thrilled to have a brother. We grew up sharing an amazing life of travel and adventure, going all over the country in our truck camper and often skiing on weekends. Dad knew the answer to any question and mom kept us all in line, organized and going from one thing to the next in high style. I think we all drove her crazy being terrible collectors (i.e. pack rats), something which she didn’t have any affinity for.
The year I started Junior High School, mom convinced her parents to move into our new house with us. Until they passed away we continued enjoying the togetherness and love of extended family that so few experience these days. Once again, mom was determined to care for those she loved most in the best way possible, first hand. I never knew it was even possible to sit down to dinner without your whole family present because mom would not have had it any other way.
Christmas was mom’s favorite time of year and it HAD TO BE PERFECT! Dad worked on massive light projects outside while she decorated everything inside. Until quite recently their Christmas trees were procured directly from the forest (and by forest I mean wilderness). Sometimes this involved getting high centered in the snow and chilled to the bone, but it always included mom’s lovin’ cups of hot chocolate. She was a bit of a drill sergeant making sure every last minute detail was attended to, but it always did end up being perfect and I think we were really spoiled quite rotten. I love toys and every year mom still bought me a toy.
Mom was a long-time member of Christ United Methodist Church. Mom loved this church and so many of you. Over the years she sang in the choir, participated in many of the women's meetings and bible studies and led one of the youth groups. She also held piano recitals here for many years in the fellowship hall.
Mom always told me she was proud of me and I thanked her for always being there for me, for being protective of me and for providing for my every need. She was very practical. She taught me the value of money and encouraged me to study business in addition to music, a fact which provided me with a wonderful career, partially following in my father's footsteps as an accountant, as well as my great appreciation of music and the arts.
A warm, firey, loving Leo, mom taught me early on that you never neglect to bake a birthday cake for your mother, an important tradition I've carried on joyfully with friends and family even when I wasn't much of a cook, because simple things such as this can mean so much.
If you knew my mom at all you knew she loved chocolate, pumpkin pie, fried chicken, biscuits & gravy, spaghetti, orchids, gardenias, money, Channel #5 and trips to Glacier Park. In fact, her bags were packed for a trip to Glacier Park when she died.
We loved being silly and fun together. She could be very funny. We often played mini golf and went bowling as a family when we were kids. We all loved going to places like Virginia City and seeing the old melodramas. She dearly loved all her companion dogs: Scamper, Sunny and Jake.
Mom and dad were always there for me and attended all my important school events. Both for my 21st birthday and for my 50th birthday, they took me on Caribbean cruises. How great is that!?
Mom and I didn’t have much in common but we were always very close. Mom thought of herself as quite ordinary and didn't believe she had contributed much to the world. She would have been surprised to know it has been scientifically calculated that each one of us touches somewhere between 2 and 10 million people in our lifetimes. Just think about that!
Honor her life by passing on extraordinary love.
Also, please do visit her memorial website and contribute your thoughts, feelings, memories and stories. I’ve been scanning in pictures all week and will be adding many more when I’m home again between Christmas and New Years.
Mom didn’t always agree with the choices I made in my life. But, through everything, she always let me know she loved me. For over 52 years I knew, every single moment of my life that my mom loved me and that she would do absolutely anything she could do for me. There is no accomplishment in the world more meaningful and spectacular than that!
