Joyce was the love of my life. We spent 40 wonderful years together. I'm writing this 30 days after she passed and they have been the toughest 30 days of my life. I miss her so much, it's like there's a part of me is missing. She made me whole. We met in 1980 and moved in together on April 4, 1981. We lived in Northern Virginia and we married on June 27, 1983, The following year I was transferred to Seattle and we lived there for 10 years. Our children would visit us during the summer and those visits were memorable to both Joyce and I. In 1994 I was transferred back to the main office in Washington, DC, and we were now living close to Joyce's now grow two boys, Eric and Kevin. Then in 2004 we retired to the southeast coast of North Carolina where she would live out the rest of her life.
On May 26, 2020, after a long weekend of backpain, Joyce decided that she could not take the pain anymore. She was hesitant to go to the ER because of Covid-19. Her only option to get some relief was to go to the ER. I could not accompany her inside. They were able to relieve some of the pain, they did a CT scan and told her that she needed to see her primary care physician the next morning, because they saw something on her pancreas that looks like cancer. The next morning, again I could not accompany her inside, at her doctor's office, Dr. Peng told her the whole truth that she had pancreatic cancer, they could not operate because of the location of the tumor and that it appears that it has spread to her liver. After a biopsy, the cancer in the liver was verified. Her care was turned over to an an oncologist that suggested chemo to "buy her some time". Joyce wanted to live as long as she could, before this diagnosis she was a healthy-working, 71-year-old woman. In a little over six and a half months she would be gone from this Earth.
During that time she suffered immensely. I took care of her the best that I could and on December 7, she had her last chemo treatment. The next day she decided it was time to get hospice involved. The Lower Cape Fear LIfeCare helped in keeping her as comfortable as possible. We made arrangements to Zoom call her boys and her granddaughter, at this point Joyce's voice was not more than a whisper all she could say was, "I love you..." to Madison, Eric and Kevin. During this period of her sickness, we were swamped with get well cards and positive energy. Joyce read all the cards until she could not read anymore and I read them to her. The law office (CSH LAW) that Joyce worked were extremely helpful, bringing us food, gift cards and two ladies, Katie and Celeste stopped by several times to talk to Joyce and of course they brought food. Joyce's friends in Northern Virginia sent cards and gift cards, flowers and called Joyce until Joyce lost all energy to be able to talk. Joyce's friend in Seattle, Gail, called but was in the middle of selling their house and moving into a new home. There were so many cards that I can't remember every one but Joyce appreciated each and every one. Joyce is at peace now and that gives me some solace. Joyce thought that she "would not be missed" that was one thing she was totally wrong about...many people miss her and for me there will always be that whole in my heart that she filled so wonderfully for 40 years. In the end, Joyce was aware that many people, family and friends, loved her and she would be missed by the outpouring of love and affection from so many people. I thank each and every one who took the time to send cards, flowers, cookies, artwork, food and most of all the positive energy in the words.