This is the text of ‘Reflections on Judy’s Life’ given by Jane Peterson at Judy’s memorial service on August 1, 2015.

===========================================================

Hi

I’m Jane – one of Judy’s two daughters.  Thank you very much for coming to help us celebrate my mother’s life today.

In putting this together, I spent time trying to figure out how to sum up Mom’s life of 76 years, besides all the cliché’s of ‘a life well lived’ etc…  I looked at lots of pictures, talked to folks who knew her best, and read through some of the beautiful and touching messages & stories that you have shared on the website and the many cards.  Through all of this I realized she was many things to many people, and we have all lost someone special.  She was always very straight up about reality with us in that kind, pragmatic sort of way – whether it was that someone ran over 20 minutes on a sermon, did a good job, could have done better, and even that life didn’t last forever but that was ok because her faith was steadfast that there was something wonderful to look forward to on the other side of this life.

My mom grew up on the New Jersey shore in the small town of Manasquan as the oldest of 5.   She was the big sister of Betsy, Erik, Bud, and Susie.  Even though she spent the majority of her life in western US, if you asked her where she was from it wouldn’t be long before you would hear stories about her youth in Manasquan.  She grew up in a house built in the 1800’s on Virginia St, played with the neighborhood kids in empty lots and large backyards, learned to play the accordion (gaining an appreciation for music that was life-long), and loved to spend her time reading.    She would sometimes go into the City, as people from NY & New Jersey call New York City, for the day and her mother taught her to always be prepared, pinning $20 into her skirt ‘just in case’ – she took being prepared to heart on this one, because we’re actually still finding $20s hidden away in strange places ‘just in case’ she needed it.

As a teenager she worked in the summers in the Beach Registrars Office on Manasquan’s beach, and saw lots of sunburned people.  Growing up on the shore gave her a healthy appreciation for the sun and what it can do to fair-skinned people.   As a result, my sister Lynnette and I were always bathed in suntan lotion to the point that we, of course, rebelled as teenagers – complete with the sunburns to prove it.  Eventually we both figured out that she was right and a necessary evil of living in the southwestern US was suntan lotion.
 

So that’s some of the beginnings, but who was Judy? 

She had a passion for reading, buying books by the grocery bag full sometimes.  My grandmother used to tell me a story about how she had asked mom to paint the window in the attic, and mom was not too thrilled as it interfered with her reading time…. So mom painted the window – all of it, including the glass.  Needless to say her mother was not too impressed and introduced her to a razor to scrape the paint off the glass… in the end I think Mom got what she wanted because she wasn’t asked to paint any more windows.

She loved music, playing the organ and accordion.  In later years loved going to hear concerts at the church.  She loved musicals – her favorite was the Sound of Music.

While not a traditional sports kind of person, she did like to swim and did synchronized swimming and archery in college as her sports of choice.

Christmas was easily one of her favorite times of the year.  Julekag, which is a family Danish Christmas yeast bread recipe with raisins and spices, was a favorite.  She used to make it for the friends, neighbors, even the postman… The kitchen at our house in southern California was a big one and the counters would be covered in loaves – it used to seem like 100s but I’m sure it was more like 30 or 40.  There would be many batches.  Then we would go deliver them and mom would leave my sister & I in the car while she ‘just ran up to the door’ – that would always be a ‘few minutes’ was more like 30 because she always made time to have a chat with folks to see how they were.

Creative crafts were always a big part of her life.
- She decorated cakes as both a hobby and then a small business owner – customer service was the name of the game, even if you had to do it over because the dog took a chunk out of the cake.
- She was written up in the newspaper for doing a hard icing village as a Christmas decoration – we had that around for years and Dad eventually added lights to it too
- In the last 15 years or so she returned to sewing crafts, making lots of placemats, napkins and wine bags among other things for Gingerbread fair.  When I used to travel she would ask I keep an eye out for interesting fabric to bring home for those things

She was very resourceful, and firmly knew that if you didn’t know how to do something it wasn’t that you couldn’t – only that you had to learn how and somewhere there was a book to help you along the way.

My mom did lots of different things in her life – everything from cashier, waitress, being a lab tech to support her hubby finishing his masters as a newlywed (which is when she grew to really not like white rats), a full time mom, small cake decorating business, volunteer elementary school librarian, PTA chair, Girl Scout leader, clerk in a bond agency, admin at Salvation Army, church secretary at the La Crescenta Presbyterian Church in southern California, helped to organize and start up Dana’s Place, the children’s library here at church, treasurer for Gingerbread Fair committee, and led Bible studies… all in all I think the word here is adaptable, and lets face it she liked to stay busy. 

Through all of this I think there were clearly 3 themes that were most important to her, and everything seemed flowed from this –

Her faith
Her family
Her friends 

In those terms, she was one of the richest people I have even known.

 

Mom was blessed with an unwavering and unflappable faith all of her life.  In her case Christ and his love just was…

She was baptized in the Presbyterian church in June of 1939, having been born on February 4th of that same year.

She became a member in April of 1952.  We found her original certificate of membership into the 1st Presbyterian church in Manasquan.  On that paperwork, which she had carefully kept (along with her certificate from her drivers ed class), I was amazed to find how those promises she had made of prayers, living a consistent life, fellowship, contribution, and service; were so diligently lived up to her entire life.  As one person recently told Dad – he was really lucky to have been married almost 55 years to a woman who was a Christian all day every day – not just on Sundays.

Never one to shy away from responsibility, she was elected and ordained as both an elder and a deacon over the years.

She never saw going to church as a chore but as an opportunity to celebrate her faith in worship, and always said music was a huge part of that, which is why the hymns today are special as they were some of her favorites.

She had a life long interest in the Bible and always had a Bible study as a valued part of her life.  I remember we even had talked about how much she enjoyed the one at her house in the weeks before she passed away.

 

On the family side, after growing up in Manasquan, in 1957 she went off to Purdue University in Indiana, majoring in Home Economics & Science, finishing on time in just 4 years, in May 1961.  While there she met my dad, John. 

She was married to my dad, just a little bit shy of 55 years… they were married in August of 1960 in a traditional Quaker service.  This meant they memorized ‘a statement of intent’ which they said to each other with the Pastor just stood the side.  In what I would say is a typical Quaker approach by not putting things in that didn’t need to be there, this statement was short, to the point, and deeply meant.   The statement had the implicit blessing of the community as evidenced by the signatures on the certificate.   Later, about the time I was 16 on a trip to Washington DC at the National Archives, that I figured out not only was it unusual to have the marriage certificate hanging on a wall in your house, but I thought it was significant that this piece of parchment which had hung in the hallway all those years, signed by the witnesses from the Friends meeting, was about the same size as the Declaration of Independence.

Her main focus for many years was as a full-time homemaker… she took good care of us, not only taking care of the basics but made sure we got the life lessons essential to success.  Even through all of that one of my most consistent memories was of her reading at kitchen table when we got home from school.

Grandchildren were super important to her – she had been spending time teaching Kathryn how to sew lately, which I’m sure was a real joy to her as neither my sister nor I really have a passion for it…. She also really enjoyed helping out and attending the various Boy Scout awards with Jared and Girl Scout activities for Kathryn from time to time.  She and I would often talk on my commute home from work, and she was always excited to share with me what was going on with them.

Like many families, we did the family camping thing.   At first it was tent camping.  I admire mom for humoring dad and being willing to go camping with 2 small kids even though she was a mosquito magnet.  I recall one time tent camping in the rain at Morro Bay – I have a vague recollection of washing dishes in the rain and wondering why she was worried about them being dry  – needless to say there was an investment in an RV not too long after that.  The RV got good use.   We would go out at least one weekend a month to explore the world… We usually managed to coax her out of the RV to the campfire in the evening, even though the one mosquito in the county always managed to find her and if there was more than one she would be visited by all of them.  She was a good sport about that…

Whenever we were camping or out hiking she was convinced we would get bit by a snake so we would have to check under a log or rock before jumping over it – the weird thing is what she taught me so ingrained that I still think about it when I’m out hiking.

When it came to learning how to drive it was a team effort -- at first dad took care of the basics but when it came to practice and the art of navigation, be it city or highway, that was mom.  She could tell you what lane to drive on the freeway to minimize lane changes, had a sense of direction such that I don’t recall her ever getting lost, and always seemed to keep a complete map in her head even though she also made sure there was complete and updated set in the car.  It wasn’t until many years later I figured out this was not how everyone did it.

She even would take the time to help a stressed out high school kid do a term paper, more than once she talked me off the ceiling and convinced me that is was possible to write the paper and we could get it done in the time we had – even if that meant she was staying up until 2 am to help type it up and then going to work in the morning.

She also loved to trade sewing ideas with her sister Betsy, aunts and good friends.  We’ve found lots of notes she saved from them with different ideas on how to do things.

 

She was serious about her friends and had a fierce loyalty to them.

She believed in being there for her friends –that was just how you did it.   

She had many lifelong friends, some from college and even earlier that she stayed in touch with through the years, as well as the new ones.

Crafts were a great way to stay in touch with family and friends, loved making things for others.   This was especially evident in her passion around sewing for the Gingerbread Fair each year --  and was good at enlisting folks to help out too.

She always remembered birthdays, anniversaries, and special days with cards, more recently with e-cards and emails to remind us she was thinking about us.

  

I think most important thing about my mom was her generous an open spirit – always willing to share the burden or give an ear, share what she knew or learn something new.  She did lots of things that others didn’t, which was very much appreciated by all of us how who were on the receiving end….

No matter how long you knew her I think we will all agree, it was a privilege to have known her and we will all miss her.