ForeverMissed
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This memorial website was created in the memory of our beloved mother, Izobel Mary Enzweiler, known as Judy, 91 years old, born on December 28, 1921 and passed away on October 21, 2013. We will remember her forever.

December 28, 2021
December 28, 2021
Dearest Mom,
This is the time of year we miss you the most, Mom. The holidays which you were such a part of, are not the same. Bev and I reminisced as we prepared Christmas dinner together, remembering how excited you’d get decorating, planning the meal, laying out the china and silver, and how every year you’d say, This year we’ll be more organized! And every year it would be a race to get the meal out and the gravy made, everything hot, and somehow we always managed. After dinner there were home baked Russian Teas, Thumbprint cookies and Magic Cookie Bars, but your beautiful Trifle was the centerpiece of the dessert table, with its red jello and toasted coconut adding a holiday flair. Then after the dishes were done, gifts opened, bags of wadded up gift wrapping collected, jokes cracked, amid the laughter and wine, out came the games— and that’s when your competitive nature put us all on alert. Oh, how you loved to play games! And how you loved to win! You were a serious contender.

Happy birthday, Mom. Wishing you were here to celebrate with us, and to see how well the family is doing. It’s been a tough year with Covid dominating our lives, but thankfully, we are all still here. 

With Love,
Your daughters Pam and Bev
October 21, 2021
October 21, 2021
Dearest Mom,
Another year has come and gone. This day marks eight years since you left us on that warm and magnificent October day. The trees were gorgeous that year, so vivid, and the leaves crunched under our feet as we gathered around the birch tree to say goodbye. And though you're always a memory away, nothing can replace sharing your company, hearing your voice, your wonderful Aussie accent, and your laugh. I miss you, mom! Perhaps you were able to meet Hank on his journey into the afterlife. Yes, dear Hank left us this past year, leaving a void, especially for Bev and Josh. We have a new baby in the family, a sweet little boy named Phoenix, growing up in Germany with his dad Dallas and his mom, Carina. Unfortunately, we could not go to Germany upon his birth due to the pandemic, but we got to meet him this summer! Michelle and Ed's boys are doing well. Cody and Liam love living in Florida, and Aidan is about to join them as he embarks on a career in golf. Yes, you heard me right-- at last, one of your progeny is entering the world of sports. I know you are smiling at this news! Steve has retired and loves having free time to pursue his passions of music and travel. Gary is still nurturing his rainforest property, and Toni just published her first romance novel. We are thrilled for her! As for me, I'm enjoying my new life as a documentary filmmaker, feeling great to be living my dream finally. That's all the news, for now, Mom. We miss you and love you; you are forever in our hearts. 

With love,
Your eldest daughter Pamela Joy
December 28, 2020
December 28, 2020
Happy birthday, dear mom! We think of you often and especially today on your birthday, remembering all the good times we had together. Thank you for showing us the meaning of family, and for always being there for us. It meant so much then and still does now.

Love Always,
Your eldest child
Pamela Joy
October 21, 2019
October 21, 2019
Bev and I were remembering how Mom used to tell it like it is, and how sometimes it was downright shocking. Was it something the Aussies did, or was it generational? It seems like our parents had character. Were we daughters brought up to be too "nice"? It has literally taken me a lifetime to get the courage to say things straight out like Mom did. But it sure feels good. Why did it take so long? Why didn't I follow Mom's example? All I know is, the older I get the more I feel the need to have honest relationships. And the more I appreciate my dear mom.
December 28, 2018
December 28, 2018
As the Holidays pass we all remember our youthful, carefree days when our Parents and beloved relatives and friends gathered to share joyous times as well as sorrowful times. It is so very lovely to read all your fond memories of such a wonderful lady. Blessings to each one of you for sharing your tender and loving thoughts of such a wonderful woman.
December 28, 2018
December 28, 2018
It's your birthday, Mom and you are in our thoughts today. Little things trigger your memory....like your Christmas Trifle that everybody went crazy over, everybody except me. In spite of my sweet tooth, I was never a big fan of trifle. Gary was just talking about it, and how it was the best he'd every had. In summer I think of your delicious potato salad, how you'd always bring it to the neighborhood picnics, and to our outings at Bangs Lake. The thing I will never forget is how you would wrap little gifts for us kids to keep us from getting bored on the long car ride to Devil's Lake for our annual family vacation. You'd say, the first one to see a black and white cow can open a present. Or a house with a blue door, and so on. Our searching would keep us preoccupied and it was something we looked forward to each year. Knowing how busy you were working nights at the hospital, cooking meals, and tending to 4 kids, in retrospect I realize you took the time to make our lives the best you could. Thanks for being the kind of mom who showed love in so many little ways. Happy birthday, Mom.
December 28, 2017
December 28, 2017
Dear Mom,
Today is your birthday. You would be 96 today but you left us in your 92nd year. A good long life you lived, a life that took you from a small suburb of Melbourne, Australia halfway across the world to a new life, a family, and work you enjoyed in America. I've often thought it was brave of you to leave everything behind--you were an adventure-ess! Brave enough and curious enough to stow aboard one of Captain Cook's voyages had you the opportunity. How you loved to travel! Travel and writing, and above all your family is what mattered most to you. Thanks for getting me started on my own travel adventures. I can still hear you saying, "Pam, there's a big beautiful world out there waiting for you." How right you were Mom. Thanks for being my mom. How I miss hearing your Aussie accent and your wonderful stories!
With love and gratitude,
Your eldest daughter Pam
October 21, 2017
October 21, 2017
Dear mom,

Thinking of you today fills my heart with wonderful memories of you and gratitude for your many sacrifices for our family. It was not an easy life leaving your homeland coming to America knowing not one soul except your husband. How brave you were! It wasn't easy but you managed to keep things together. Even when things were tough and money was scarce, you turned up the radio to sing and dance around the kitchen to your favorite songs. It puts a smile on my face even now to think of it. Thanks Mom.

Your loving daughter,

Pam
December 28, 2016
December 28, 2016
Steve arrived for the holidays, Michelle, Ed and the boys are spending Christmas and New Years in Florida, we had a wonderful FaceTime chat with Gary and Toni in Australia, and we had a delightful day at Jen and Toby's with all the family, including a holiday piano recital by the children. Another year has gone by, Mom, and we are still coming to terms with your loss. Playing CatchPhrase last night would have been so much more fun if you were here. How we miss your laughter, your wonderful stories, and your straight talking advice. You left us on that October day, but you will live forever in our hearts. Thanks for being so special and so dear to us.
December 28, 2015
December 28, 2015
Another year and it is your birthday, Mom. You are, and always will be, in our thoughts and prayers. Much love from your faithfully willful daughter, Pam
October 21, 2015
October 21, 2015
Dear Mom,

As I sit in the garden on this beautiful October day, so much like that day two years ago when you left us, I think of you and all the things I miss most. Your beautiful Aussie accent, your love of family, games, and sport, and your feisty attitude. I wish I could still hear your wonderful Aussie sayings, and hear about our family history through your amazing recall of names, dates and events. It's not the same without you, mom, but time marches on and we march with it. Thanks for the happy memories and for being the mother I will always be grateful for.

With love,
your eldest "willful" daughter
Pamela Joy
October 21, 2014
October 21, 2014
Dear Mom,

It's been a year since you left us on a warm October day. We miss you tremendously, but you'll be glad to know we continue to carry on as a family, loving each other and staying in touch as often as we can. You were the kind of mom who was never afraid to speak the truth, and while it wasn't always easy to take, I'm grateful for it. In fact, I'm trying to be more like you in that regard. Thanks for all the fantastic adventures, for opening up my world, and for all the wonderful memories, Mom!

Your loving daughter,
Pam
July 16, 2014
July 16, 2014
Dear Mom,

It's summer and the garden is in full bloom. I think you'd be happy seeing it so lush and green, thanks to the rainy weather we've been having this year. In spite of my past threats to only plant perennials, I couldn't help myself and planted moss roses in the bed beside the front walk. And remember how I used to complain about planting petunias because they require constant dead-heading, well guess what? All the pots are filled with yep, you guessed it—petunias. Purple petunias, your favorite. What can I say? When we moved here in 2009 there was no garden. Now in 2014 it is the kind of garden you always wanted, packed full of plantings. It requires little of my time now, and that's good because working in the garden is just not the same without you. You were my inspiration and my driving force, at least in the garden.

Remember the lovely view from inside the sun room where you'd sit in your white wicker chair watching the tiny wrens build their nest? The chairs are empty now. 

The variegated birch tree we planted in your honor stands looking over the golf course where golf carts scuttle by at all hours of the day. Just think you can people watch from this spot! I know how much you enjoy people watching. The birch will live as long as you did, Mom, maybe even to a hundred. The ornaments placed lovingly by your grandchildren still hang on its branches, though this past winter was especially hard on them. It was hard on us all. 

I miss you Mom. When I see your favorite Japanese Maple, peony bushes, coreopsis, hydrange, variagated dogwoods, and dusty miller. When I see the bird feeders I can still hear you say, "Feed the birds!"

Wimbleton was on tv last week and I remember how excited you were watching your favorite tennis match and hearing stories about all the players. You would have loved watching the Triple Crown with Bev, betting on the underdog, or should I say under horse. 

I miss you Mom. I miss your beautiful Australian accent and your funny expressions. I miss your strong opinions (believe it or not). And I especially miss your good company. You've left so many precious memories behind. Thank you so much for being my mom.

Your loving daughter,
Pam
February 15, 2014
February 15, 2014
Losing a parent even when they have lived a full, productive and wonderful life is something we keep in our hearts always. Having lost my Dad at age 99, I know full well how it feels even when we've had the good fortune to have them with us so long a time. I am sure the multitude of photos and memories you have will carry you through all the days that will seem so empty and dark. You will keep in your heart always the many moments that you shared in joy and in sorrow. May your hearts be filled with the good memories. Blessings to you and your entire family.
January 23, 2014
January 23, 2014
Pam, Bev, Gary and Steve. I was Sorry to hear that Judy passed. She was quite the great lady and I'm confident she lead a nice life after Villa Park. I hope everyone is doing well. I'm not much of a face book guy but
I am reachable through e-mail. I would love to hear from all. Hope this finds everyone in good health and I will say a prayer for Judy. Sam
November 6, 2013
November 6, 2013
What sad news – a special lady has departed!
Thinking back about Aunty Judy, I remember her refined elegance, dignified demeanor, quiet sophistication, easy charm and good natured sense of humour. I particularly cherish memories of when my ‘American’ aunty and cousins visited Melbourne - happy carefree days full of fun and adventure. With love and best wishes Anthony
November 1, 2013
November 1, 2013
Dear Steve & family
We are so sorry you lost your dearest Mom, nothing will be the same anymore but you all know she'll live in your heart forever and from where she is now will be watching you with the same love she always had for all of you. God bless you. Sara & Geda
November 1, 2013
November 1, 2013
The pictures show so many stories and meaningful moments. It seems like there were more beautiful moments in between the pictures. Steve, your mother was so beautiful and so full of life. I'm so glad you shared stories of her. I am so saddened by the loss of a great woman. I pray that you will find peace knowing who she was. Prayers for you and your family. ~susie
October 31, 2013
October 31, 2013
Dear Steve,
Have always loved hearing stories about your Mom and family. So sorry that your Mom has passed. Glad that you and your family are able to be together during this time. Wishing you all the best.
October 31, 2013
October 31, 2013
I have always Loved Judy's laugh. She sat in the afternoon sun during a birthday party and told me stories of her childhood in Australia living by the prison. As we watched the kids play she said " If I could, I'd be right out there hitting that ball along with the rest of 'em." It must have been hard not being so mobil. I'll bet now she can't decide what to do first.
October 29, 2013
October 29, 2013
Dear Steve,
We were so sorry to hear about your Mom. I have always enjoyed hearing stories about your family, and I know how close you are with them. I am glad you all have each other right now. Our thoughts and prayers are with you during this time. Molly Smythe - Hope U.
October 29, 2013
October 29, 2013
Looking at all those wonderful photos of Judy just reminds me of what an adventurous spirit she had and of her dedication to her family. She was so generous and kind to me and adopted me as her "other" daughter without hesitation. I will always remember the wonderful moments we had sharing a cup of tea, playing games and telling stories--she was a great story teller! I'll always love her!
October 28, 2013
October 28, 2013
Dear Steve,
I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Our thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time. Please know that we think of you often and miss seeing you. Love, Kelly and Mitch
October 28, 2013
October 28, 2013
The song Cheryl Moana Marie is sung by my brother, Gary Enzweiler.  Mom woke me one night asking for the Maori song she loved. All I could do was hum the melody, but the next day Gary recorded it and sent it by email. Mom's eyes lit up when she heard Gary's beautiful voice. It brought her peace in her final days. (To hear the song go to the Audio tab.)
October 27, 2013
October 27, 2013
Pam and Bev I love you both as friends who are like sisters -- I feel the loss of your Mom as a friend as well as my own Mom. I will always cherish the fun times I had with you and your Mom over the years and  her laughter echoes in my head. I admired her spirit of adventure and love of travel -- now her spirit is free to embark on a new journey. I wish that spirit total bliss & peace.
October 27, 2013
October 27, 2013
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss as I KNOW the emptiness is vast. I can only comfort you with the reality she shall be with you always: she is the whisper in the wind, the crash in the ocean, the rustle in the leaves ... she is still traveling as she will always be in your dreams and by your side when journeying your path. Believe and treasure the love in your heart ... she is there
October 27, 2013
October 27, 2013
Steve, Gary, Pam, Bev, and Families, our thoughts are with all of you at this time. Over the years I've enjoyed that your family has been so close, and I've appreciated being able to feel a part of that warmth as we've visited together from time to time. As a tree can only bear fruit of itself, you are all evidence of the rich source from which you spring. I'll miss mom's warmth and humor!
October 26, 2013
October 26, 2013
Judy will always be in my heart just like my mom! I could listen to her voice all day & night long!! Me & my late mom both love her accent! She also had all the other good things going on for her but that accent was a big part of her!! What a wonderful women she will be truly missed!
October 25, 2013
October 25, 2013
I will always remember how beautiful Judy was, she had an infectious laugh & had that Australian accent. Judy lived behind my grandparents, my mom & Judy were friends. We were always welcome at their home & Judy had such a lighthearted personality. I will forever be grateful for the wonderful childhood memories she helped embed in my mind forever. Janet Tobusch Oliver
October 24, 2013
October 24, 2013
Our mom passed away peacefully this week at home, thanks to the loving care of her family and the La Porte, VNA, Hospice. Please click on "stories" to read about our Hospice angels. Rather than sending flowers we are asking for donations to be sent to: VNA, Hospice,
901 South Woodland Ave. Michigan City, IN 46360
October 24, 2013
October 24, 2013
We are so sorry to hear of your Mother's passing. We know she will be dearly missed by many. It's good that you have her memoirs, photos, and memories of the good times to hold close in your hearts. Pam and Bev - you both did a great job providing a home for Judy. You're great daughters and sisters. You'll be in our prayers for peace during this difficult time.  Love Bob & Lynda
October 23, 2013
October 23, 2013
Judy had a way of making me feel so welcome in her home. She was a good listener and always made me feel she was interested in whatever I had to share with her. Her legacy lives on in her wonderful family, who shine in her everlasting light.
October 23, 2013
October 23, 2013
Although, I never got to know Judy personally I had a connection to her because one of my dearest friends is her daughter Bev. I am eternally grateful and thankful that I have such a special person in my life. Judy you have touched my life through your daughter and I will always remember you.
October 23, 2013
October 23, 2013
Mom was an avid gardener and she passed her passion on to me. I think of her often when I'm in my garden. She is there with me in her favorite flowers. Oh how she loved flowers! She always said, "You need annuals to have color in the garden all summer." When I look at my garden I see mom's love growing there.
October 23, 2013
October 23, 2013
We will miss Judy(Grandma) dearly. She lived an incredible life! Judy will live in our hearts forever.
Marie, Scotty and Johan
October 22, 2013
October 22, 2013
My mother instilled in me a love of travel. She said, "Pam, there's a great big world out there." She was right of course, and thanks to her I have seen many places that I might never have seen. She was a tireless traveling companion who turned every trip into an adventure!

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December 28, 2021
December 28, 2021
Dearest Mom,
This is the time of year we miss you the most, Mom. The holidays which you were such a part of, are not the same. Bev and I reminisced as we prepared Christmas dinner together, remembering how excited you’d get decorating, planning the meal, laying out the china and silver, and how every year you’d say, This year we’ll be more organized! And every year it would be a race to get the meal out and the gravy made, everything hot, and somehow we always managed. After dinner there were home baked Russian Teas, Thumbprint cookies and Magic Cookie Bars, but your beautiful Trifle was the centerpiece of the dessert table, with its red jello and toasted coconut adding a holiday flair. Then after the dishes were done, gifts opened, bags of wadded up gift wrapping collected, jokes cracked, amid the laughter and wine, out came the games— and that’s when your competitive nature put us all on alert. Oh, how you loved to play games! And how you loved to win! You were a serious contender.

Happy birthday, Mom. Wishing you were here to celebrate with us, and to see how well the family is doing. It’s been a tough year with Covid dominating our lives, but thankfully, we are all still here. 

With Love,
Your daughters Pam and Bev
October 21, 2021
October 21, 2021
Dearest Mom,
Another year has come and gone. This day marks eight years since you left us on that warm and magnificent October day. The trees were gorgeous that year, so vivid, and the leaves crunched under our feet as we gathered around the birch tree to say goodbye. And though you're always a memory away, nothing can replace sharing your company, hearing your voice, your wonderful Aussie accent, and your laugh. I miss you, mom! Perhaps you were able to meet Hank on his journey into the afterlife. Yes, dear Hank left us this past year, leaving a void, especially for Bev and Josh. We have a new baby in the family, a sweet little boy named Phoenix, growing up in Germany with his dad Dallas and his mom, Carina. Unfortunately, we could not go to Germany upon his birth due to the pandemic, but we got to meet him this summer! Michelle and Ed's boys are doing well. Cody and Liam love living in Florida, and Aidan is about to join them as he embarks on a career in golf. Yes, you heard me right-- at last, one of your progeny is entering the world of sports. I know you are smiling at this news! Steve has retired and loves having free time to pursue his passions of music and travel. Gary is still nurturing his rainforest property, and Toni just published her first romance novel. We are thrilled for her! As for me, I'm enjoying my new life as a documentary filmmaker, feeling great to be living my dream finally. That's all the news, for now, Mom. We miss you and love you; you are forever in our hearts. 

With love,
Your eldest daughter Pamela Joy
December 28, 2020
December 28, 2020
Happy birthday, dear mom! We think of you often and especially today on your birthday, remembering all the good times we had together. Thank you for showing us the meaning of family, and for always being there for us. It meant so much then and still does now.

Love Always,
Your eldest child
Pamela Joy
Recent stories

Thoughts of Mom on Mothers Day 2015

May 11, 2015
Here is a photo of my Aussie mom and toddler me circa 1949, Victoria, Australia. This was taken shortly after my parents moved baby sister Bev and me from Villa Park, IL to Pasco Vale,(VP to PV) a suburb of Melbourne. Eventually my brothers Gary and Steve were born. Mom couldn't get America out of her mind so after 5 years we moved back to Villa Park, my father's home town. After Dad died, even though she didn't have a lot of money, Mom always managed to go on wonderful trips. I remember her counting all the countries she'd been to and saying, "When I was a young girl growing up in Australia I never imagined I'd be able to travel the world." Traveling was Mom's passion.  She sponsored many trips for us as adults, leaving a legacy of happy memories and precious times spent with family.

Mom traveled back and forth between her homeland and the country she adopted as her own for many years and eventually, she chose to stay here in the U.S. until her death in October, 2013.

How we miss Mom's beautiful Australian accent, and her funny Aussie sayings. We especially miss her intelligent conversations, her inner strength, and her unspoken love for family. Here's to you Mom. I hope you're dancing the jitterbug, and playing cards today, and figuring out your crosswords too.

With love from your eldest daughter, the "willful"one who you never really understood but loved anyway. . .

Pam

Mom's Eulogy

November 23, 2013

Hank: Izobel Mary Enzweiler known as “Judy” left us peacefully in her sleep on the morning of October 21, and we are gathered here to say G’bye.

 

Mom's Garden by Pam:
Everyone who knew Mom knew she loved her garden.  She wrote in her memoirs:

"My father was a very quiet, private person who loved his garden and from him I learned to love the garden as well. I would often sit beside his spade as he worked, turning the soil.  I loved the sweet smell of the earth."

Though she never said so, I think after beautifying the garden of our townhouse in Lombard and getting the cute little tool shed which nestled between our neighbor’s tall pines and our dogwoods, Mom was reluctant to leave. So when we moved into our cottage in LaPorte, as always, her thoughts turned to the garden, or lack of one.  Mom, Bev and I put our heads together and came up with a plan that soon evolved into a place of beauty.  What was once a lawn with one tree became a lush and tranquil garden.  No garden of Mom’s was complete without a Japanese maple, variegated dogwoods, peonies, or her favorite annual, petunias.  She loved the bright colored moss roses, delicate alyssum, and the purple  lobelias.  She would often sit in a white wicker chair in the sun room, looking at her little slice of heaven, watching butterflies, honeybees, squirrels, chipmunks and birds.  How she loved to watch the birds come and go at the feeders and the birdbath, and to see the tiny wrens nesting in the little wooden houses that hung outside the window.  I was reminded when the seed needed filling, and thanks to a pesky squirrel, that was almost daily.  
Although not a religious person, Mom loved her St. Francis statue, not because he was a man of the cloth, but because like Mom, St. Francis loved and cared for the birds. Mom never minded paying for seed or flowers or pots or anything related to the garden—it was her joy.  A simple pleasure, yet one that she could share with her daughters.  So it seems only fitting to plant a tree in Mom’s honor. . . here in the garden she so loved.  Here she will rest. . . among the flowers and the birds and the smell of sweet earth, where she will forever be part of her beloved garden.



Mom's Eulogy by Steve
In these past12 days since mom’s passing, Pam, Bev, Gary & I have been immersed in the process of putting Mom to rest - planning, making decisions, looking over old pictures, cards, letters, thinking of stories, talking about travels and travails, - hers    -   and ours, together, crying and laughing and even arguing.

Pam suggested putting together a website dedicated to Mom’s memory and we all agreed it would be a great thing. We started out just thinking it would be an nice tribute to our mom, a gesture of love -  a way of keeping in her memory alive. I don’t think any of us realized what a cathartic, cleansing and inspiring process it would turn out to be.
Reminiscing and sharing about Mom, we all started to consider deeply what her life meant - at least to us.
It’s hard to imagine the world she grew up in -  the changes she saw in her long life, in a time and place so far removed from what we’re all familiar with.
Mom’s parents were British subjects during the reign of Queen Victoria. Their parents and grandparents were born in England. Unlike most early European Australians, who were transported to the penal colony for petty crimes, her ancestors chose to come to the country of their own free will.
I can picture mom as young girl raised as a very proper turn-of-the-century Englishwoman in family that worked very hard trying hard to create a decent home where everyone was expected act civilly and genteel. Manners and appearance were a given.
Even tho her family was comfortable, life was hard. No TV, No phone, no fridge, minimal heat.
Their house was at the edge of the Melbourne’s suburbs, close to the city, but surrounded by open fields and farmland. Nature was close at hand. Her dad was an avid gardner and they had fruit trees in their yard. One of their trees was eaten by the local dairy farmer’s cow. Mom loved her Dad and loved helping him in the garden. I think gardening was equated with love. Passed from her dad to her, then to her kids.
She was not what I would call outdoorsy, but she loved nature, especially birds.  
 She had an idyllic childhood. She was very happy as a kid. As an adult, even when times were troubled, she said she always woke up and jumped out of bed, excited about what the day might bring. There are so many great stories of those times and I’m really glad she wrote a lot of them down in her memoirs. They say it all and any attempt for me to tell any would fall short.
Mom was a extremely generous. It took me ‘till I was well into adulthood to figure out that that was how she expressed her love. Not so much for material things -  but more as a way to share experiences. As an adult, she never had much, but she always managed to get the money for things she thought were important: dance or music lessons, trips, plants, gifts, a trumpet, a drum set.
Every month, till she left us, she wrote out a check for her favorite charities. She always stuck up for the underdog.
Mom was not just a warm cup of tea with milk, cream puffs on the side. She could be cool, obstinate and opinionated  - and often dismissive with an “Oh piffle!” Or, “He’s a no hoper”
Mom loved simple things: the garden, household projects, a good book, a good laugh, daily crossword puzzles -  her mind was sharp ‘til the end. She was always a hard worker, competent, respected at her job, and ready to lend a hand - always a cup to tea nearby, English style.
In company, she was always polite and pleasant, she loved a good laugh. And she really did love people  - even when she lost patience with them. She always spoke with delight about all her grand kids and great grand kids, and kept careful track of their lives while she was able. She was a great listener and she always had something interesting to say, a great story or thoughtful opinion. When you talked to her, it was always a two way street. I’ll miss the great conversations we shared. The hysterics, The great times we had playing games together late into the night - especially “Risk”.  I know we all miss the trips we took together.
So looking back over mom’s life  - with a magnifying glass, the realization struck us how unique a person she was. How exotic. Born of such a different time and place which we, frankly didn’t really get. And how she must have struggled with American culture, her in-laws, and her crazy American kids. She was just our mom. But what a life!  How do you sum it up in a short speech. It’s an impossible task. What did mom believe? What’s her legacy? One thing for sure, her love for us always shined through  - even if we may have taken it for granted or didn’t always understand it.  
In her journal, she had hand-written a quote from the Aussie poet, Adam Lindsey Gordon,
“Life is mostly froth and bubble, Two things stand like stone,
Kindness in each other’s troubles,
And courage in your own.”
I think she tried to live up to the ideals of these sentiments. But Being human, she didn’t always succeed.
For Mom, I kinda like this quote from Emerson:
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children….to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”  
By this measure, Mom was a success.
Her legacy? Well, we see this tree as a symbol for her love of living things, love of nature and of adding richness to our lives, providing shelter, sustenance and nurturance. We would be such different people without her. As much as I miss her already, I know we haven’t begun to feel the hole that’s left in our lives. When he heard of Mom’s passing, a good friend of mine wrote:  
As a tree can only bear fruit of itself, you are all evidence of the rich source from which you spring.
So we are her legacy. Her kids, Grand kids, Great grand kids.   - All of us that grew from the things she planted. The adventures past and future live in us, the memories of the richness she added to our lives: inspiring an interest in the wide world, a love of the words, playing the game fairly, doing the right thing, or just getting on with it - and just by being the exotic flower from a far off world as our dad saw her in Melbourne long ago.

 

A Mother’s Love by Gary
How would one express the love of a mother?  Unconditional quite often. To bring us forth into the world, to nurture and  to watch us grow,in the light of dawn and our days of learning here in the world.  To be concerned always with the family and their welfare, often in a selfless manner.  I remember Mom’s way of showing her love wasn’t what one would expect or understand always.  It was her way, and family was everything to her.  When she often would say, “Please call me, and make sure your okay in my teenage years when I was away, I didn’t always think, ‘I’m being selfish.’  The sleepless nights that one has to worry about family that we love, always the welfare of our family, particularly mothers.

Mom during her illness and the times we spent getting her well during the 9 months and her convalescence, her main healing visualization was her family together in a beautiful and a joyful scene of pure bliss of love and light.  She had enormous strength and focus to move on and heal and beat the odds against the doctors who said, you can’t.  But she did and succeeded anyway.  She got on the plane and she flew back to you in America.

We owe a lot to our dear mom. With all her great support and good advice she just got in and did what needed to be done. And she sure helped us a lot.  I love you, Mom, and I hope to be reunited in that beautiful garden one day.

 

Tree Dedication by Bev
Mom’s wishes were to have her ashes scattered amongst her beloved plants, but we thought that planting a memorial tree would be a more fitting and lasting tribute to her legacy, a bridge between life and death.  We considered a red bud, Mom’s favorite tree. But it’s small and short lived. It’s also fairly common. We  wanted something with longevity and character, like mom. When a friend suggest the variegated beech, something clicked. While doing some research about the tree, I found the following quote, and it made the tree seem perfect.

“This tree has the potential to develop striking red, brown, purple and white colored leaves. The best way to insure that all the colors show up on the tree is not to baby it. This tree needs stress and hardship in order to show its truest and most beautiful colors. If this tree is overfed and given too much care and attention, it will loose the variegation in the leaves, and fade into a single reddish color.

Perhaps this tree can be seen as analogy for a human life. If all we ever did was sit happily sucking up life and water and nourishment that was carefully fed to us each day, never wanting for anything, we would fade into a monochromatic life.    Sure, we might be healthy and alive, but until we face hardships, until we over     come the insurmountable, take on life’s challenges, and reach for what we need, the world will not see our true colors and beauty in their complete and total rain   bow."

The Flies

November 23, 2013

Mom loved to tell stories.  This is one from the years she lived with Gary on his rainforest property in Queensland, Australia.

We had no sooner settled into the studio after our long flight that we learned about the fly problem.  Several weeks before we arrived Gary and John had gone to a local house farm and obtained bags full of manure for the garden.  Unfortunately, the flies and all their eggs came too.  Every time we opened the door the flies came charging in and every day Gary swung the fly swatter.There were times when we all took turns wielding the swatter.  As many as we eradicated—twice as many kept up the invasion.

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