The friendship which Judy shared with me actually began several years before we met. My dog Rory had died suddenly and unexpectedly before I or Halle, his and my remaining dearest companion, could say goodbye. I published a tribute to Rory in the local newspaper, ending it with the thought, which Rory understood, that “… it’s not so important to say goodbye. What matters is all the joy that follows saying hello.” Judy always remembered Rory’s tribute, and quoted its closing thought to me when Halle, too, inevitably died.

Judy and I finally met on a grey February morning in 2013. She with Zoe and I with Halle were walking at Rover Park and converging on a straight line. Our dogs, with tails wagging, were drawing us together. When I spoke Halle’s name, Judy said hello, and asked if I was Rory’s David.

I want to celebrate here all the joy that followed this first hello with one recollection of special hours that Judy and I spent together. In the summer of 2013, parts of Judy’s multi-acre property were infected with dodder, which is a parasitic plant that could eventually have destroyed plants in her lawn and gardens. So, for days, as Zoe and Halle played, Judy and I worked to pull out and dispose of all the dodder. We sat in the dirt, crawled on hands and knees, and bled from being poked and scraped by dried twigs. We worked almost silently. Companionship was all that mattered.

Throughout our friendship, silence remained as rich and meaningful as the spontaneous thoughts and feelings that Judy and I shared in conversations. I have never experienced a human friendship that was so natural, effortless, open, and unconditional; it was for me a well of joy, solace, and peace. I believe Judy generously shared these same treasures of friendship with all whom she knew.

Shortly before her death, Judy invited me to visit with her at home. We shared silence, thanks for the first hello, recollections of joy, feelings of hope, and an affectionate hug. We did not speak of goodbye.

I met Judy in 1974, just after we both moved to Los Alamos/White Rock. I was so fortunate to become her friend. Judy had a special heart that touched me immediately. She was a wonderful wife, mother, grandmother, friend, confidant, nurse, volunteer, dog lover,daughter, sister, faithful Christian and more. It sounds like she was perfect, to me she was. We spent time together as couples, parents, friends and worked together at LAMC and Los Alamos Women’s Health.
I know David, Jonathan and her grandchildren have memories that will serve them a lifetime.
In the words of Maya Angelou “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

I was probably about 10 or 11 years old when I met Judy. When my Uncle Pete and Judy marriedthe transition was so smooth it was as if she had always been a part of our family. Judy had a wonderful way of making me feel important...even though I was just a kid. I remember her giving me her undivided attention whenever we talked. Judy always called me by my nickname “Kat”. I loved that!  How did she know that? I never told her. Lol!  When we visited Evanston, she always made  something delicious for us to eat. I remember looking forward to whatever homemade dessert she made for the occasion. I think I may have gotten my love of baking from her. I didn’t get the opportunity to speak to Judy very many times over the years, but I know if I had we would have picked up right where we left off  no matter how many years had passed! When I heard of Judy’s death, it caused me to think back and reflect...So many memories.  I really loved and appreciated her. I will miss her. She was a very special person indeed. Love, “Kat”.

Submitted by friend Megan Fox

Submitted by niece Deana Miller Dyson

Submitted by niece Deana Miller Dyson

I grew up in an exceptionally gifted and loving family. Helen Miller, my Grandmother, ensured our gatherings were both often and entertaining! This picture...my Mother, My Aunt Sandy and My beautiful Aunt Judy, were always the center (along with my Aunt Debbie) of every party. Standing in the kitchen or in the dining room, or in the living room...greeting, loving, cooking, sharing, giving...to everyone present. I loved them...I loved my Aunt Judy. And she loved me. I will always remember these moments and I will always be grateful for how she loved me...and all of us. 

Always,

Your loving Niece...FOREVER...

Deana