Benny wrote this three years ago

Justin, our birthday is four days from now. Yeah, I fucking miss you. I may never know when my soul is due. Though someday I'll certainly be standing right next to you even if by now you may watch over me when you need to. Wherever the colors take charge over the light surrounding the night. Known as heaven, where the blessed beings they keep. Safely kept from the ones who weap so distantly underneath the earth's rock layered sheets. Where the fire breaths loud and the ones who deserve it never find the way out. Never seeing the darkness. Neither you, or I. Since we'll be staring down on the universe within a glimpse of an eye. Above the clouds and further than any kind of sight. Angels, we'll be, you and I. In time, you'll see and with no way of knowing when it becomes the right. It was already chosen to be. The time when I'll finally see you, and you see me. Even after figuring this all out I still say.. that I love you my brother. I'll never stop taking care of our mother. The thought of you brings her face up like greenery in the middle of summer. No one will forget you, not sure if anyone even knows how to. You lit up the world when you had the ears of the town. When alot stayed for long and an occasional one wouldn't fit at all, so then they would simply run out hearing not a sound since hearing the unnoticed is what we seemed to be without. Not that we're too important to hear what normally is loud. It's just that type of life, we see ourselves living without since it happens to be exactly along the lines of what we're not about. Again. I love you my brother, I'll never be able to replace you with another. Speak to me now, say whatever, whenever. When you show me a sign, please make sure it helps me through traffic or when I'm stuck in bad weather. I'm smiling for you now since I know it's true that we'll be seeing eachother when my eyes physically close in time when mine is taken. Here, listen.. I'll tell you in a rhyme; at the end, my life is due to forever spend with you. So perfectly planned out somehow. By who though, do you know bro? Now that you ask and pry. I say, "Why, I may never figure out who and I assure you I rarely ever waste time.. telling a lie."

Justin Ryan Nieboer 
My dearest Son,
Oh my! What have you done?
Why did you have to leave?
Now all we do is grieve
Grieve because you went away
So many things we needed to say
Why did you say goodbye,
To everyone but me, why?
Did you know weeks before,
That you would walk through heavens door?
Why didn't I know?
That you were going to go?
I am your mother
Benny is your brother
But we had no clue
What you were going to do.
In the blink of an eye you were gone
It's not fair and it is so wrong.
Now we miss everything about you
Especially the silly things you would do
What I wouldn't give
Just to be able to relive
All the great moments we shared
I can still feel how much you cared
We wish you were still here
We will always have the memories we hold dear.
It has been seven long years
Filled with oceans of tears
It is time to move on now.
I know I have to, I just don't know how.
I know you are in heaven looking down.
Sad that all you see is a frown.
So many people rely on love from me
I realize just how much, finally.
So this now I must say
I will remember you, only everyday.
But I won't be blue.
I will remember all the times
You made us smile
I will keep you close in my heart
But it is time for a new start
Farewell, my oldest son, my love.
Watch over us from above
We will meet again someday
And I promise, together we will stay.