My Aunty Justina,
Aunty Justina, Nne Odogwu or JOY as she fondly signs her name, was the youngest sister of my late mom. I fondly recall her effervescent and joyous presence all through my growing years from childhood to adulthood. From being a favorite aunty who always visited our family in the 60s (in Lagos) and later in Benin from the 70s to the 80’s, my relationship with Aunty Justina grew and strengthened over the years. I remember traveling with my sisters to Jos, while Aunty lived there with her family.
Aunty Justina was not short on advice when it came to my engagement and subsequent marriage to my husband (now of 40 years and counting). I enjoyed her weekend visits with Christy and Kate when I resided in BDPA Ugbowo Housing Estate, Benin. Following the untimely death of mom in 1987, Aunty and I bonded even more. She became a mother figure in my life and the role was sometimes reversed depending on circumstances.
I emigrated to the United States in the early 90s but we managed to keep in touch and I kept her abreast of happenings in my life through photographs. With the help and goodwill of her children, Aunty visited me several times in Rochester, NY. We explored Rochester and environs together; shopping, sight-seeing, going to the movies, dinners at restaurants or just plain driving around. Oh, I should not forget to mention that our days started with morning mass at St. Louis Catholic, for you see, Aunty was a devout and practicing Catholic. We both enjoyed each other’s company, incessantly ‘gisting’, joking and laughing a lot and just plain having fun. Though not a professional photographer, Aunty knew how to pose and pick great backgrounds for her photos. She had no qualms about lying on the ground, grass or even snow, nor dropping to her knees to get the best angle for her photos!!! An amusing incident comes to mind, once when Aunty was visiting in Rochester, we (aunty and I) went to the celebrated Rochester Lilac Festival (1st time visit for me too) and while milling around the various vendors, we found a Kodak Photo Booth where free photographs were being offered. Our photos were taken, and we got a beautiful 8 X 10 photo for our efforts. By the way, this photo still remains one of our best photos together to date. From the festival we went on to a Walmart in another part of town. Aunty saw a giant McDonald Clown at the entrance of the Walmart and insisted I took a photo of her with the clown. No amount of argument or dissuasion will keep Aunty from getting her photos taken anywhere or anytime she feels like it. Here she was and I was setting up to take her photo when I heard someone say ‘Are you ladies still taking pictures? Who was that, that dared interrupt our ‘photo session’? It turned out to be the nice young man from the Kodak booth at the Lilac Festival. What a coincidence! Aunty & I had a good laugh about it and the young man took another photo of both of us with the Mc Donald clown. That is classic Aunty Justina. Her love for photographs is unequalled. She used to say that friends often teased her that her “Wedding Trunk Box” will be filled with photographs instead of “Abada” fabrics as is the custom for a new bride in our part of the world. People usually came to her to ask for photographs of their loved ones of old and more times than not she did offer the help needed.
Aunty Justina was our family historian, an avid reader, a prolific writer and a consummate storyteller. She reads just about anything; newspapers, novels, magazines, flyers and adverts. Her curiosity and thirst for knowledge were insatiable and her memory and recall was phenomenal. She remembered events to the last detail and can relay the time, day and date, what the person was wearing and the pertinent conversations.
Among her hobbies of reading, storytelling, writing, photography and travel, Aunty Justina loved to collect clocks, radios and pens. Though she didn’t quite catch up with the current technology of the internet, she listened to news around the world on her AM/FM radio. She was very much aware of the world politics. Sometimes when we are talking, she might mention some strange name. On further inquiry she would say, oh that is the president of some very remote country who had just been ousted from power, or some other news about the person. Things like that never cease to amaze me. Her love for the British Royalty is well known amongst her family and she knows every written history about them. Aunty Justina was simply a living encyclopedia.
With Aunty Justina, what you see is what you get. She is very unpretentious and called things as she saw them. She is rather uninhibited and had no qualms telling you what she thought at any point in time. I have been a recipient of her acerbic and biting remarks a number of times but that did not affect our relationship.
I could go on and on about Aunty Justina and still will not do justice to the phenomenal lady she was. She was a rare gem. I still cannot wrap my mind around to the fact that she is no longer with us. I would miss our long phone calls. To help me deal with this loss, I will convince and delude myself into the belief that due to bad phone connection, I cannot reach her anymore.
My deepest and sincerest condolences to Aunty Justina’s children. She doted and loved you all beyond measure. “Ndo nu”. May God grant you the fortitude to bear this loss. May her kind soul and the souls of all the faithful departed Rest in God’s peace. Amen.
Finally, to quote Renee Wood “Your life was a blessing, Your memory a treasure….. You are loved beyond words And missed beyond measure.”
‘There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart’ (Mahatma Gandhi).
Love Always
Mrs. Rose Monu (nee Okwudiafor)