Karen I miss you so much and still just can't believe your really gone. Your always in my thoughts and forever in my heart. Rest peacefully sister. I love you. 

So much of life you are missing out on. Today you would be 43 yrs old but you are no longer getting old n having to deal with life's struggles but missing the good times. Ashley your niece had a baby boy march 3 2018. He is such a joy and you can't tease becca bout being a granny now. Your sons don't remember their granny but maybe one day they will understand the pain we all have suffered n know that I love them anyhow with all my heart. I wish so much that you were here and that you could see how different life has become then you would know how much we all loved you. We still miss n love you and will forever be brokenhearted. I think of you everyday and when I have Ashley here I'm calling her Karen as I truly believe you live on In Ashley,as she is so much like you. I hope that one day your boys will find it in their heart to know how much you really loved them. That maybe they can understand the mental pain you suffered was not their fault or mine. But that they can find peace n love in their life and know that they are not alone. We all love them and we all suffered your loss too. But we all will remember you with love in our hearts and we understand n forgive you. Happy birthday

Bought a cup for myself and your sister becca as we always use to sit n have coffee together. The cup has your picture on it from when you n i were sightseeing in kanaohe Hawaii. So many memories that I will never forget. I miss you coming thru the door yelling "mom you got coffee?" Or when you use to get up every morning it was "dont talk to me till i have my coffee." Well it seemed fitting to make this cup a tribute this year as a remembrance of you as we sit alone having coffee with you on my cup .we still can share coffeetime together. I love you dearly and will always remember.

Its so hard today for so many of us, remembering you and wishing you were here with us. Im hurting so much inside that ive had lumps in my throat all day, trying to keep it together, But inside im a mess. I would have put some beautiful flowers on your grave today but you dont exactly have one. I want to do something today to celebrate for you but im not sure exactly what to do. Maybe fix your favorite food for dinner tonight or listen to your favorite songs. I miss you something terrible though and i just feel like i have to do something. Matt sang happy birthday to you this morning to my urn necklace. And today mom and i found some pictures of you that her security camera caught of you. It was had to look at cause it made it feel like your still here. I just wish i could tell you one more time how much you mean to me. Love you so so very much. Forever and ever. My sweet care bear. 

I remember this day she was getting ready to go see her doctor to see when our baby Christopher was to be born cause it was her due day. She braided my hair before we left. She was so beautiful and happy being a first time mommy. 

I guess its safe to say i was the clown of the family. I always loved to make karen laugh. It was so easy to do. Sometimes to the point she peed her pants. Karen had such a contagious laugh, thats what i loved most about her. She would play dolls with us sometimes. She was also a drill sargent when she babysat Rachel and I. Thus we named her drill sargent karen. Sometimes she could be so serious but i always found a way to make her laugh. We did so many things together growing up and even as adults. I just wished i could have done more for her. I wished i could take all her sadness she kept tucked away inside, away from her. But it was all buried so deep that no one was able to give that darkness any peace for her. I will always remember those happy times, those giggles, and smiles. She may not have been happy her last days, but in my mind and thoughts she will always be that happy go lucky fun loving sister i grew up with. Finally for her she put those dark shadows to rest. Here is a picture of her and i at a coolio and vanilla ice concert. My favorite pic of us