Katie,this is dana,i met you maybe twice in life,i wish i could talk to you.
I want to ask you sooo many things.
I wish you n me......i wish you n me were friends
i wish you were kicking it with "me" before all this
we never got that chance tho
so...who were you kickin it with before all this,why couldnt anyone see that you were sick,why was there no one to take you to dr,s,why was this tolerated for soo long and blind to everyone?
my heart hurts
i care Katie

Katie. Writing a memorial for her daughter has got to be the worst feeling any parent could have. I know i wasnt a good parent. I missed out on most of your childhood and wasnt there for you growing up. I let addiction take over my life and keep me from my babies. The best thing i gave to this life was you and Jake. The worst thing was to be absent from your life. I was so young and stupid. I should have listened to your dad and followed his footsteps. He was strong enough to break away from the drug that took over my life. Ill always admire him for that. Hes agood man. He did what i was supposed to be doing. He was your mom and dad. He raised you both into beautiful people. My heart is broken knowing that i missed out on so much of your lives. I didnt deserve your forgiveness katie, but i thank God for it. I know i can never forgive myself. Especially now that your gone. My angel, my daughter. I ask God why he didnt take me instead. When you were in the hospital this last time, a lady named Erin came in and prayed over you. She said she still felt a lot of life left in you, and she felt you would recover. I thought so to. I thought it would be like the last two times you got sick. I thought you would get better. I thought i would still have a chance to try and make up for my mistakes. But God took you away. He needed his angel. Thats exactly what you are. You were born an angel and you died an angel. So beautiful. You were and always will be loved by so many people. Your heart was so big. You spread happiness wherever you went. Your love was shared by so many, and even though your gone your love will always live in the people whose lives were lucky enough to know you. I will never be able to forgive myself. I feel like you would still be here if i would have just gave in and turned a blind eye to what you were doing. But i couldnt. I felt like i would be letting you kill yourself. I couldnt stand the thought of walking in and finding you dead. So i gave you a choice. I regret that so much. I was told i needed to show tough love. I hate that phrase now. I wish with all my heart that i could turn back time. Even just a month or even a week. I will live with the guilt forever. I can never forgive myself. I hate myself. I should have been the one person who could've saved you. Everytime i close my eyes, i see you laying in that hospital bed on lifesupport . Im your mom, and there wasnt anything i could do except hold your hand. Katie, i love you and miss you so much. I miss hearing you holler " MOM!!". I miss hearing the " i love you's" that i didnt deserve. I miss you, Katie, my angel. I will see you soon. I love you so much.