August 2, 2018
August 2, 2018
Dearest Kathie was like a sister to me. Joan and I always looked forward to her visits to our home in Napa. She had a special sparkle that lifted us up and made us smile.
This memorial website was created in memory of our wonderful mother, Kathie Milano, who passed away at her home in Berkeley, California, in 2013, at age 70, with her family by her side. She had battled mantle cell lymphoma for four years.
We invite you to add your own memories, stories, and photos to this website under the "Stories" tab above and to the Gallery. You can also share this site with friends by sending them the URL kathie-milano.forevermissed.com. Thank you for visiting, and we hope you find and share many fond memories here.
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Born in 1942 in Marin County, California, Kathie was a precocious, creative tomboy who graduated from Berkeley High School at only 16 years old and, in 1965, graduated from the University of California at Berkeley with a degree in architecture.
Kathie first worked at the architecture firm of Leo S. Wou & Associates in Honolulu, Hawaii, where she met and married Paul Howarth (they later divorced), and then at Architects INTAREN in Bangkok, Thailand, where her daughter was born, before returning to resettle permanently in the Bay Area, where her son was born. In the Bay Area she was an architect with world-class international firms SOM and HOK, then Elbasani, Logan, and Severin in Berkeley, and finally the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory, from which she retired. Her projects were described as “massive monumental” and included the King Khalid International Airport in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, and Pioneer Place in Portland, Oregon, among many, many others.
Kathie was a member of the Sigma Kappa sorority and the American Institute of Architects. Her love of not only modern art and architecture but also of art from around the world is evident in the home she designed and raised her family in—a modernist retreat in the hills and trees of Berkeley. She was herself an artist in the tradition of Picasso, filling her home with vivid abstract human-figure paintings. She loved classical music, early rock n’ roll—Buddy Holly and Elvis—and Hawaiian crooner Don Ho. She had such a sweet tooth that she commonly asked for the dessert menu first at restaurants. She loved fast cars, no matter how impractical.
She was insatiably curious about history and culture, so she traveled the world during her lifetime, including visits to Mongolia, Cambodia, Egypt, Jordan, Israel, Italy, France, Greece, and Mexico—but Hawaii always held a special place in her heart, and she returned there often. An avid reader, she always had a thick book on her nightstand, whether it be a novel or nonfiction, and had very-well-informed opinions about current events. She met and remained friends for life with people all over the world.
Kathie will be especially remembered for her compassion, her gift of seeing only the good in people, her wacky humor, her unflagging positivity, and a quiet determination that enabled her to succeed in an unforgiving profession, build her own house, and raise two children on her own. During her tough battle with cancer, she persevered beyond expectations while never, ever complaining. She had many loving friends who inspired her and whom she inspired with her kind and giving spirit.
She was an incredible mother. She is survived by her daughter Heather, of Utah, and her son Paul, of California, in addition to two adored grandchildren (ages 5 and 2), cousins, nieces, nephews, and numerous friends who are as close as family. At her request, Kathie’s ashes will be scattered in the Pacific Ocean off the coast of Maui by her children.
We wish to extend special thanks and appreciation to the doctors, nurses, family, and friends who helped care for her and support her during her long illness.
With love and gratitude,
Heather and Paul
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CELEBRATION OF LIFE: A joyous memorial reception celebrating Kathie’s life and spirit was held for family and friends at her home on May 5.
Tributes
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August 2, 2018
August 2, 2018
Today, as I approach my 72nd birthday, I am reminded of Kathie everywhere I look, because one of her last major projects was the design of our beautiful home in Napa. She gave us a home that is exactly what we wanted. Kathie was my late husband Peter’s only cousin, but they were more like brother and sister. She was truly the sister I never had, and I loved her dearly. Don’t rest easy, dear Kathie....ride those camels, drive those fast cars, and have fun.
May 6, 2013
May 6, 2013
Today would have been my mother's 71st birthday. Yesterday dozens of friends and family gathered at her house to remember her, and it was wonderful to be surrounded by so many incredible people who loved her and had fantastic stories to tell. Paul Jr. and I are grateful for the love and friendship you shared with our mother over the years. She adored every one of you!
May 6, 2013
May 6, 2013
Thank you to the family and friends for sharing such beautiful memories with us all. On this, her birthday, we are missing her all that much more. And remembering her in our hearts.
May 5, 2013
May 5, 2013
I met Kathie in Berkeley through Kathie's best friend, Carmella. As a fellow architect we would occasionally meet at professional events and discuss architecture. But it was Kathie as a friend over the past 10 years who meant the most to me. Kathie never hesitated to say "I love you!" to me or to her other friends. I will never forget her optimism, cheerfulness and generosity.
April 13, 2013
April 13, 2013
Kathie was an amazing friend and mentor. Working with her at Lawrence Berkeley National Lab was an honor and she saved my hinny more than once. She was dedicated, creative, fearless, and, above all, kind. A more giving person would be difficult to meet. She shared selflessly with her family and friends. I will always be in awe of her strength and optimism in the face of any challenge.
April 9, 2013
April 9, 2013
I was blessed to be one of Kathie's friends for 53 years. We met at Cal and were sorority sisters. I loved being with Kathie because we shared so many things in common and she really was the sister I had always wished for and my best friend who never judged me and gave the unconditional love we all need. She was a precious person and generous in every way. I miss her every moment.
April 8, 2013
April 8, 2013
Our friendship began in Bangkok many years ago and we heard of her passing in Bangkok this Easter. We remembered her by the banks of the Chao Phrya River and lay garlands of jasmine and roses on the river in her memory, the circle completed. Life is full of 'passing ships '-
but lovely Kathie was a true,loyal,friend - gone now but never forgotten.
but lovely Kathie was a true,loyal,friend - gone now but never forgotten.
April 8, 2013
April 8, 2013
Kathie was a dear friend and colleague of mine. I have happy memories from years of working together at the LBNL, and from our travels: to Mongolia, Russia, China, Egypt, Jordan, Canada, and National Parks we visited. Kathie was a talented architect, and a considerate and generous friend. She had an exquisite taste and loved all things beautiful. I will miss you, Kathie, forever, rest in peace!
April 8, 2013
April 8, 2013
Kathie and I were married for almost 10 years and remained friends for the rest of her life. Her greatest achievement was raising our two children, Heather and Paul Jr. and instilling in them the values that have made them the caring, loving children and parents that they are. I loved her once and will cherish her memory forever.
April 7, 2013
April 7, 2013
Looking at these beautiful photos, I find it hard to believe that Kathie, so full of love, life and laughter, is gone. I only knew her for a few years, but will remember her always.
April 7, 2013
April 7, 2013
I loved Kathie dearly and am so grateful for all the cherished memories of adventures and times we shared...not only here in SLC but in the Bay area. Will miss her wonderful smile, her laugh, her optimism, her sense of humor, her graciousness and goodness, and her contagious sense of adventure. I will so miss her calls..."Hi Karen, it's Kathie!"
Leave a Tribute
Recent Tributes
August 2, 2018
August 2, 2018
Dearest Kathie was like a sister to me. Joan and I always looked forward to her visits to our home in Napa. She had a special sparkle that lifted us up and made us smile.
August 2, 2018
August 2, 2018
Today, as I approach my 72nd birthday, I am reminded of Kathie everywhere I look, because one of her last major projects was the design of our beautiful home in Napa. She gave us a home that is exactly what we wanted. Kathie was my late husband Peter’s only cousin, but they were more like brother and sister. She was truly the sister I never had, and I loved her dearly. Don’t rest easy, dear Kathie....ride those camels, drive those fast cars, and have fun.
May 6, 2013
May 6, 2013
Today would have been my mother's 71st birthday. Yesterday dozens of friends and family gathered at her house to remember her, and it was wonderful to be surrounded by so many incredible people who loved her and had fantastic stories to tell. Paul Jr. and I are grateful for the love and friendship you shared with our mother over the years. She adored every one of you!
Gallery
Kathie and Joanie Stevens approximately 2008
Kathiie and Spats Berkeley 1998
Kathie and Zane October 2009
Kathie and Zane May 2011
Grandma Kathie with Molly at Tilden Park
Kathie 1
Kathie 4
Kathie 3
Kathie 2
Recent stories
April 13, 2013
What good times Kathie, Susan Bolte Peterson, and I had when I stayed with Susan when I came to Hawaii!!!! We were just three crazy gals ie our boyfriends, husbands, or whatever were out on Westpak cruises with the Navy , and we had a ball!!!! One night after "dining" at the officers club, we got lost on the submarine base and amno dumps and needed a MP excort off the base!! We would sit out on "poop deck" in the evening and slurp up some delightful drinks- and get in some midnight shows of Don Ho (who was always drunk by that timeof evening) . What a hoot!!! I'm so grateful we could continue our friendships after all these years!!! Sweet Kathie will be very much missed - but I'm so grateful that she won't have to deal with the cancer and pain that she had to deal with these last years!!! My heart felt sorrow and sympathy to you, her family!!!! Sincerely Cheri Stuber Brown
Tribute from Carmella
April 9, 2013
I've known Kathie for over 30 years and talked to her almost daily. She is the most wonderful person I've known—always positive, funny, smart, and interesting. I miss her so much. We took two trips, to Israel in 2007 and to Italy in 2008. Here is one picture; there are more in the Gallery."
Letter from Annie
April 7, 2013
My mom's dear friend Annie just sent this from England and gave permission to include it. They became friends in Bangkok in the late 1960s:
Thank you for letting us know about dear Kathie. It was the sad news we had been dreading receiving. We were in Bangkok with all the family when your e-mail came through and in a strange way, it was the right place for us to learn of it. We are so glad she came home and the family were with her at the end; she was a brave girl, never complained—a true fighter!
My long and special friendship with Kathie started in Bangkok many years ago. We worked at the same firm of Architects INTAREN in the city. Paul Sr. and Kathie quickly became dear friends with not just me but with my brother David, his wife Doy, and family who live in Bangkok. Kathie would whizz by in her little sports car with the hood down to collect me from my brother’s home, and we would go to work.
Lunchtimes were always great fun, as a crowd of us would visit local hotels for lunch and she loved banana-split ice cream! In fact, Heather, when she was 9 months pregnant with you, she still came to work—and one afternoon after demolishing a banana-split ice cream, she complained of indigestion! I said, “No Kathie, I think you are having the baby!” and she was! So there was great excitement then!
We spent several very happy Christmas times together, and to this day we have in our drawing room a photo of your parents, Paul Sr. resplendent in white dress uniform and Kathie lovely in a pink evening gown, with my parents. Kathie’s mother on one occasion came out to visit. They were very happy days. Lots of laughs!
We kept in touch over the years through writing, e-mailing, and phone calls, with Kathie visiting the UK several times and us visiting her in San Francisco.
In life we make many acquaintances, but we generally make only a couple of true friends, and I count Kathie as one of those. She was great fun, wacky!, intelligent, thoughtful, and completely honest, never unkind—what you saw was what you got.
The sad news came in Bangkok on Easter weekend—Kathie last visited Bangkok a few years ago and stayed at The Oriental Hotel by the Chao Prya River. This visit we went to see the buildings she had designed, and they are still there. My dear sister-in-law Doy arranged a garland of jasmine and roses, and we went to the Easter Sunday Service at Assumption Cathedral, a beautiful church next the The Oriental Hotel. It was a lovely service: The Church was overflowing with so many people from all over the world, and the Archbishop of Thailand was officiating. We prayed for Kathie. Then we went to The Oriental Hotel, out onto the Terrace, found a beautiful quiet spot overlooking the river, and threw the garland onto the water in her memory. Our friendship had come full circle.
We will never forget her: warm, funny Kathie—a true pal. It was a privilege to know her. We know you too will hold her in your hearts and miss her as we all do.
Keep in touch,
God bless and with love,
Ann, Tony, and family England
David, Doy and family Bangkok
xxxx