i wrote this a few months ago, but haven’t had the courage to post it. today is nana’s birthday, the first we don’t get to celebrate with her, and it’s time to share this. i love you forever nana. happy birthday.

it’s been 7 months since we lost nana, and i’m just able to work up the courage to post this here. nana was someone that could light up a room. she did light up the room. her smile was infectious, her wit was sharp, and her love was endless. 3 days before christmas 2020, i found out she was sick again. i knew in that moment she wouldn’t have much longer. still, we facetimed, and had family zoom calls. on christmas, i sobbed because seeing her so sick hurt. i hid in the other room so she wouldn’t see my crying. every week for the next two months, we would talk to her and papa. seeing her in pain hurt more than words can explain.

the day we lost her was a normal day for me. i remember finding out so vividly. my sister and i were laughing about something and as soon as my mom walked in and i saw her face, i knew. my heart shattered. i had to immediately tell my boss i wouldn’t be working that day, and spent the rest of the day crying on and off. i cuddled with the reindeer christmas decoration she had gotten me for christmas. i looked at the picture of her with the build-a-bear mom and i made for her. i talked to my dad and my dads mom, my best friends, and my mom and sister. i felt broken.

i felt guilty that i didn’t talk to her more often. i still feel guilty about that. my biggest regret is the day i decided to take a nap instead of joining the facetime call with her. losing her made me realize just how precious grandparents are. so i started to talk to my living grandparents more often.

when papa was finally able to come back to new england to see us all, i was beyond excited. but behind that excitement was also sadness. seeing papa without nana was something i rarely saw growing up. they were always together. when we had a family cookout, there was a physical feeling of her not being there. when we spread her ashes at revere beach, we all cried. whenever i read the tributes to her, i cry. if i see a couple that reminds me of her and papa, i cry. looking at her picture hurts. but she was so happy right until the end. she was always so positive.

because of her disabilities, we had limited options for games when i was little. but we came up with some. our favorite was always ice cream shop. i would “push her around” and we’d pretend to eat ice cream. then it became real. ice cream was a necessary trip whenever we were together, it didn’t matter what time of year it was. we played board games, and she even managed to play some wii games with us as we got older. i remember when she met blaze for the first time and immediately loved him, and he always loved to kiss her and have her let him. i remember not being able to find any of my family in the audience at my high school graduation except her and papa at first. i remember her carrying me on her lap when i was a baby. i remember her always smiling at me.

if there is one person who inspired me most, it was her. to have the strength and will that she did is something i can only dream of. i wear the breast cancer bracelet she did everyday. i think about the stories she told. i always bragged to my friends about how strong and talented my nana was, growing up. growing up i hated having the middle name kathleen because it was “old fashioned”. now i know that my middle name is a tie to her. i’m the luckiest girl in the world to share a name with her.

i wish i had gotten to see her one last time. i wish she would be able to see me graduate college. i got 20 years with her though. i am beyond lucky to have gotten those years. i don’t know what to believe about life after death, but i know that whatever it is, she watches over me.

however you knew her, as mom, as nana, as kathy, you cannot deny she was incredible. she cared so much. i hope to one day be a fraction of the woman she was. i hope to have the love she and papa shared. i hope to make her proud.

nana, you are missed.

love emily kathleen lavacchia

A year ago today I was fortunate enough to be able to celebrate my loving wife, Kathleen's Birthday. It had always been a special occasion. Not just to be able to give her a gift, a box of her favorite chocolates, flowers, and usually go out to a favorite restaurant, but a chance to convey my feeling of love and thankfulness to her, which, unfortunately, I realized I'd never did often enough. .  Turning out to be the last birthday we would celebrate together simply heightens the sadness that returns on this day but at the same time, as days & months pass, and more great memories keep returning, I've learned how lucky and blessed I was to have her in my life for about 61 wonderful years. Since she departed for heaven I 've discovered how much more I loved her than I ever realized. I still miss her daily but I'm so thankful to have such wonderful children, Grand Kids and even Great Grandchildren in my life. That's what keeps me going along with many great friends and extended family. I deeply regret never speaking those many unspoken feelings but in my heart I'm speaking them to her now.

A year ago today I was fortunate enough to be able to celebrate my loving wife, Kathleen's Birthday. It had always been a special occasion. Not just to be able to give her a gift, a box of her favorite chocolates, flowers, and usually go out to a favorite restaurant, but a chance to convey my feeling of love and thankfulness to her, which, unfortunately, I realized I'd never do often enough on a daily basis.  Turning out to be the last birthday we could celebrate together simply heightens the sadness that returns on this day but at the same time, as days & months pass, and more great memories keep returning, I've learned how lucky and blessed to have her in my life for about 61 wonderful years. Since she departed for heaven I  how much more I loved her and miss her

Written by Gordon Raymond, posted by me on his behalf. 

Nine years ago today (Apr.28) Kathy and I were celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary on a Carnival Cruise. At the first night "welcome" show, the cruise director was asking for "the longest married couple" in the audience.  Because of the wheelchair we were sitting in the upper level "handicap area" but in spite of that he spotted us and we happened to be the "winner". Kathy was presented a nice piece of jewelry from the ship’s jeweler. One of our kids up North is probably wearing it now. They presented me with a special Carnival T shirt, specially shrunk wrapped with instructions to open it and soak it before use. I discovered recently it's still in my T shirt drawer unopened.

I wish she were here to listen to me retell that story.  Instead I'm still using her last tube of Kids toothpaste, still looking across the table every morning and not seeing her there having coffee with me and sharing on line trivia questions. She had an uncanny ability to guess correctly whenever neither one of us knew the answer. In fact I had my first cup of coffee this morning since the day she slipped away so gently. I miss her smile, her way of lifting my spirits when down and everything I've loved about her for 59 years. This morning I sat on the stone bench at her memorial site in our front yard, feeling very sad and hopeless at first,  but then started remembering all the wonderful moments and events we were fortunate to share in our lifetime together.  The trips, the family gathering, the weddings, the cook outs, the cruises and a lot of traveling. We  had talked about this several months ago when we knew the end was approaching and we both focused on those "good" times and promised each other to accept and cherish that, not the negative.

With that in mind, I received an okay just yesterday from Colony Cove to resume Karaoke, in her memory, as promised, as the pandemic winds down. In fact the H.O.A. asked me to host Karaoke at our Fourth of July  celebration also back this year. I'm also, finally planning a trip back to New England this July to finally see the rest of my "kids" Grandkids and great Grandkids, which Kathy and I both love and missed so much during this "year to forget". It will be a celebration of her life, not  full of sadness. 
  
The photo gallery has a few pictures we took this morning at her memorial site. My love is forever and she remains in my heart always.

To Gordie and all the Family.
In loving memory of dear Cathy .

Thankyou Cathy I will always remember my trips to America with my Father John McDonagh .
Driving from Randolf to your home with Auntie Bridget and Uncle Jimmy...
I enjoyed every minute of those journeys and visits ..
Swimming in your pool with everyone who was also there .
Visiting you and your wonderful family in Tewksbury Ma.
Thankyou so much for all those memories that Dad and I will cherish forever .
Thankyou 'Gordie' for you wonderful words and the lovely letters you've sent to us here in England.
It was a pleasure to have had these moments and to know you all.

Loving memories and lots of love

John,Natalie and girls

Many of you may have wondered where her husbands tribute has been up 'til now.  My Daughter Christine wrote the first, welcome message so very eloquently and already addressed many great points we all would have made.  I've been having a hard time getting to doing this since Feb. 17.
I'll try to add some "stories" to put the love, respect, caring and sadness we are all still feeling in the proper perspective.

I met Kathy roller skating at a rink in Boston when she was just 16. The prettiest red head I'd ever met, but as shy as I was in those days I had to ask her to skate "couples" with me. In spite of my hesitation because of our age difference, I couldn't take my eyes off of her and that first skate had already won me over with her great personality. My buddy Fred Center and I took her and her friend Jean out for a burger at a local diner nearby. I still didn't have the courage to ask her for a date but somehow she lost her wallet in my car so I had to call her again.

Within weeks of meeting her, her family moved from Jamaica Plain to Marshfield. No expressway in those days so a late day trip from Cambridge Mass. to Marshfield became a regular ritual for me to see someone I'd fallen in love with so badly. The trip back was usually early morning hours but well worth it. Drive in movies, a favorite restaurant and often baby sitting for her younger Sisters, Barbie and Lou were routine "dates"
In spite of our 6 1/2 year age difference, I won her family over and two years later we were married in Jamaica Plain, it turns out, at the same church, the same priest that my Son Jimmy's future Father in Law and wife were married in a week later. We are the proud in laws of Jimmy's wife Karen.


Jimmy came in to our world 1 1/2 years later. We both embraced parent hood with all our hearts but that's when I first realized what an amazing "Mother" of our kids I fortunately married, and began a journey happily adding Donna, Christine, Cindy and Lisa over the next decade or so.

Those days were not always easy for us. In spite of our first apartment, next door to Kathy's Grandmother, in Jamaica Plain costing only $40.00 month, I'd left a job at the B. & M. Railroad to work for a printing company, Spaulding Moss, in Boston as Traffic Manager and when I first received a raise to $95.00 a week we thought we were going to be rich. Kathy had also been working at "Spaulding" when we were married.
As the kids continued to come I worked full time at the printer, attended Northeastern University nights and Saturdays for nine years drove taxis in Boston part time, then pizza delivery, liquor store stock boy etc. all, while my amazing wife was bringing up a family, and as they got older working part time herself. How she handled all of that, never complaining but sticking by me and encouraging me was a testament to her strength and fantastic ability to adjust to our needs and life style. I did well at at Spaulding- Moss and after 13 years, when my Boss left to become President of Saxon Paper and offered me a job for considerably more money, I was terrified to accept it because I didn't think I could handle that major a change. She'd have no part of it, calmed me down, and convinced me to go for it.
Needless to say it worked out well and fast forward another 13 years, Ris Paper made an even better offer where I had a great 22 years. Kathy ended up working there also for a while and always supported and encouraged me.
There is no way I could have had any success without her strength, love and constantly being there for me.
The Randolph, Ma. years: While at Spaulding-Moss we bought our first house and met our "life time friends" the Dwyer's. Both Jimmy and Bridget Dwyer passed this passed year before Kathy. Our families were intertwined for the rest of our lives. Bringing up our "kids" together, working together on the-side
at the Knights of Columbus in Randolph. Jimmy was the bar manager and I was the function manager doing all the bookings as well as bartending regularly for many years. Kathy and Bridget also "waitressed' often at the same time we both worked the bar. Our friendship included many cruises together, a trip to England and Scotland (for Bridget's Brother John's birthday) and even a 2:30 A.M. trip to Atlantic City from Randolph, Ma., after I tended bar all night. Talk about wild & Crazy, I guess sometimes we did that also. 
The Tewksbury, Ma. years: When Ris Paper Co. moved from Charlestown,Ma. to Woburn, Ma. , we also left Randolph and moved North to Tewksbury,Ma. closer to work for me. Our 3 youngest Daughters grew up there with a great home, pool they all learned to swim in, many parties and cook outs. Sometime Kathy ended up hosting 60-70 people from Ris, in our back yard.  Cooking serving and being "Kathy." Again, a remarkable, wonderful person everyone loved. Unfortunately 25 years ago the two Cancers struck. We were all devastated. My Son Jimmy and I had made funeral arrangements as the odds of survival were so miniscule. Kathy accepted her fate but remarkably
beat the odds with a lot of prayers from friends and family but mostly with her amazing fighting spirit. She even encouraged me to accept being the Grand Knight of the Tewksbury K. of C. and I dedicated, rightly so, my year to her.
She never complained about her life being turned upside down. Instead, in spite of a wheelchair and other physical problems she addressed life with all she could give and we were able to "live" our borrowed time" to the fullest.

Many more cruises, trips, family get togethers, marriages, 13 grandkids, 9 great grand kids, many smiles and laughter. She loved all of our children as much as anyone possibly could. That extended, of course to all of their kids and their kids. She had total love for everyone and deservedly received very much love in return. This included many friends from the past such as the Kennedy's back in Randolph and our many "new friends in Colony Cove, Fl. for the past 18 years.  She never stopped encouraging me to do things, in spite of her own limitations. With her blessings I've been President of the N.E.Club, the Gray pretenders (6 years),The Manatee Players Dramature group,, Friendly Social Club, Lakes Group and as my co hosts at Gordies Karaoke the past few years. She took active roles in many of these ventures even though her disabilities made it difficult. She had the heart and soul to keep me going, never thinking of herself, and as we found we enjoyed all of this together.

Unfortunately two tumors in her lungs appeared several months ago. We both accepted the inevitable, she still smiled on "Zoom" for the "kids", never complained and passed peacefully with Cindy and I holding her hand and telling her how much we loved her .

She's gone to be with her family and friends who left us before her. It's still breaking my heart but I feel like I've been the luckiest guy in the world to have had her so close to me all these years and someday I'll be able to tell her again, so happily, how much I've always loved her, how much she really means to me and that I'll love her forever. Please God, take care of her until I join her again.

Aunt Kathy I miss you so much! I am so grateful to have seen you in August of 2020. It meant the world to us ( John, myself our daughter Ashley and Granddaughter Juliana) to have been able to do that during covid. So hard keeping our masks on and we laughed about it. I have so many amazing memories growing up with your family. Every summer we would all get together and everyone was so excited that my Mother brought her brownies. All the days turned into nights and the fun never stopped. You had the biggest heart I ever knew. You have held your head high with a smile always and stayed so strong over the last 25 years of your life. I am forever grateful to God for having you live all those years. Your heart has always been full with love and compassion for others. Your door was always open to all. You so loved to travel and enjoy the sea on your many cruises. You will be forever missed and you will be with me always! I Love You Always And Forever Aunt Kathy!!!

Nana was one of the strongest people I know. I am forever grateful that I got to spend as much time as I did with her. One of my favorite memories with her is from the beginning of last year. Korryn and I got to stay with Nana and Papa for a few days. They took us to see Christmas lights and to the aquarium. However, my favorite part of those fews days was just getting to spend time with them and talking to Nana. Nana always made me feel heard and like she really cared about what was going on in my life. Those simple moments of just talking with her meant the world to me. Everyone who knew Nana was inspired by her strength and love. She was an amazing woman who will be missed greatly. I love you Nana.

Dear Mom,

My biggest regret is I didn't get to tell you these things in person or give you one last hug. Hopefully as you look down at us from heaven you know how much you meant to me. As I was going through old photos and thinking back, I realized it wasn't the big trips and events that stood out but the small things that meant so much more. I'll never forget those ceramics classes and bowling outings when I was still too young and everyone else was in school to our weekly Tuesday breakfasts at Friendly's my freshman year in college before you got sick. From the visits with you and Bridget Dwyer to Woolworths is Boston every year, to suprising me with an early dismissal in 2nd grade because you said you just wanted to have lunch with me, to the old movies we would watch while dad was at the KofC, we really had some wonderful tmes. I could go on and on but there are just too many to list. There were so many amazing lessons you taught me. You were one of the strongest and most generous people I ever met. Not everyone would open their homes up to others but you never thought twice about it. Because of your kind heart you just knew it was the right thing to do and I strive to be like you. I'm so glad you fought so hard all those years ago so we had you for so many more years. I'm grateful my girls got to know you and see how amazing you were. I miss you already and will think of you every day of my life.

Love always,
Lisa

I got my name from her.. Aunt Kath was one of the sweetest people I have ever known. She was such a wonderful person. She was always smiling. She had so much love to give. I remember having Christmas at her house in Tewksbury when I was little. There was so much singing laughter and fun. I remember trips to California in my teenage/ young adult years with My Na, Aunt Kath and Uncle G. Oh how they all laughed together. She brought so much joy to my life and touched everyone who knew her. I'm so glad I got to spend time with her went I went back east to meet my Dad and Sister. She will forever be in my heart. She will never be forgotten. I will miss her so much. I love her so much and she will always have a special place in my heart

I was so blessed to have her as my aunt. So many memories of fun family holidays together. But I remember most her sitting at the kitchen table with my mom...laughing...sharing their worries of the day..supporting each other. For many years her life was challenged needing a wheelchair and struggling with her speech..but she still smiled and always had kind words to say .I remember staying at her house when I was little..when my mom had a car accident..there was like six boxes of cereal all opened in the cabinet..I was so excited. I remember being at her house right before we left our journey out of Boston. She gave my mom and sister a home when they decided to move back..and me a place to stay when I flew back after losing my first baby. She came to Washington with my mom via train to be there to celebrate the birth of my second. ..but the baby was 2 weeks late...but on an evening that was to be one of their last I started having contractions..and she was there with my mom to celebrate the birth. Thank you aunt Kathy for always being there..your beautiful smile..and gentle nature. You will be tremendously missed..but a part of me forever.
With love and gratitude...praying you are holding the hands of your brothers and sisters.
Your niece..lynda

Aunt Kathy helped raise me when I had no one else. Kathy gave me some normalcy in the crazy, unstable life I was born into. She brought me to soccer practice, dancing lessons and bowling. She included me in family vacations, she threw me bday parties, she bought me my first bike, she helped me make an exploding volcano for a school project, she’d bring me to the Burlington Mall for lunch & some shopping, I have so many more great memories.
 
Her laugh is what I loved most! I’ll never forget it.

I hope she is in Heaven with the rest of the family.
She will be forever missed. Thank you Aunt Kathy, for all that you did for me. I love you, always. 

Kath,who gave me a home when I was a person she had no use for,but opened her door to me. Not many reached out to us in those years,but she did,thank you,Kath. Forever remembered

She was my Aunt, My Godmother, my friend and so much more. I feel very blessed that I had her in my life, and my memories of her extend for over six decades. I loved her so much that I named my daughter after her, and had her as my son’s Godmother. She had a positive impact on very person who has ever had the pleasure of meeting her. If the value of a person is measured not in how much they love, but in how much they are loved by others; Aunt “K’ was priceless!

On February 17, 2021, I lost my hero...my mom. She taught me so much throughout my life, but some of the greatest things she taught me were perseverance, forgiveness, acceptance, and love. She was the strongest person I knew. She was given so many challenges through her life, especially over the last 25 years, but she never stopped living. She adapted and found ways to still enjoy life. She showed me the importance of not holding onto hate, teaching me that forgiveness helps yourself as much as it does the person you are forgiving . She was always open and accepting of people, allowing me learn how to accept others. And she taught me love. She always put others before herself, willing to help whenever she could, however could. Growing up, I knew she was always there. I knew our family was the most important thing in the world to her. Her love and strength helped carry me through some of my own difficult times, and I am grateful to have learned so much from her. Mom, thank you for always being there and helping me to become the person I am. You will always be with me; I love and miss you.