I feel mad right now. I dont know why. I just keep asking why you left me. or why did I not fight more for you. why didnt I look more for doctors to do an operation. I regret it forever. How do I know I will see you again. Its what ppl say. I want to believe it but how. If I had a way to know then all would help heal. I think your just gone. I will always remember you. before you got sick and after. I remember the last days of your life and I wish I held you closer. I regret that. But you chose to die in the arms of the person who loved you the most in this world. Watching you die and I could not help you is the worst thing in this world. I wish I could be there with you. I know I have the other girls, but the pain hurts so much now. I cant deal with life.