Are you proud daddy?
February 24, 2021
by Tara T
It's been two years, I don't even know how to put into words everything that I feel for you still, everyday. I am angry, I am sad, I am still the lost little girl, but I'm not as broken as I used to be. I've grown up, are you proud of mr daddy? I worked really hard and got two jobs, I got my own trailer, but I'm not gonna buy it because I'm waiting to buy the house I really want, are you proud daddy? Jax, man jax is SO FRICKING AMAZING, he's smart and loves to sing, I guess he might get that from you, he's still in the small side but you wouldn't know it if you asked him, are you proud daddy? Ramon is struggling, I don't know what to say, he's at the age I lost my way and I don't know how to be here for him but I am trying, I'm trying to support him without getting angry and losing my temper, I don't always succeed but I'm getting better, are you proud of me daddy? Mason is amazing in everyway I don't tell him as often as I should, he's so smart and wise sometimes, he takes care of me, I know it should be the other way around, but I am trying to be stronger for him too, I'm worried about losing the relationship we have though as he he gets older, are you proud of me daddy? I lost the job I worked so hard to get but it was because I had an opinion and I didn't stay quiet because I don't deserve to be mistreated, are you proud of me daddy? I bought a car, a REAL CAR, from a dealership, it's insured registered and completely in my name for the first time ever, and it's the car I wanted, it's not a mustang but it's prolly best I avoid the mustang until I'm a little better behind the wheel but I'm almost ready to take my test to get my license, are you proud of me daddy?
I have learned how to do things alone, to stand on my own two feet, and to stand up for myself and the people I need to protect, are you proud of me daddy? Cause that's all I wanted, I wanted it with everything that I am for you to see me and be proud, not embarrassed to say" yeah that's my oldest, she doesn't quite have it together, but she tries". I wanted you to see me, for who I am not hate me for the pain your mother caused.
Are you proud of me daddy? Cause I am, I am proud of how far I have come in these two short years, so much has changed, I am proud of who I am, who I will become, and proud of who my children are and who they will become,but even better, I am teaching them to be proud of THEMSELVES and who they are NOW. I hope your proud of me daddy, cause I will never know.
I have learned how to do things alone, to stand on my own two feet, and to stand up for myself and the people I need to protect, are you proud of me daddy? Cause that's all I wanted, I wanted it with everything that I am for you to see me and be proud, not embarrassed to say" yeah that's my oldest, she doesn't quite have it together, but she tries". I wanted you to see me, for who I am not hate me for the pain your mother caused.
Are you proud of me daddy? Cause I am, I am proud of how far I have come in these two short years, so much has changed, I am proud of who I am, who I will become, and proud of who my children are and who they will become,but even better, I am teaching them to be proud of THEMSELVES and who they are NOW. I hope your proud of me daddy, cause I will never know.