ForeverMissed
This memorial website marks the first anniversary of the death of Keith, who died with COVID-19, in Carlisle Infirmary on March 24th 2020.

To all Keith’s family and friends, godchildren and colleagues, neighbours and playmates, co-songsters and fellow pilgrims:
First, we want to say a huge ‘thank you’ for all the sympathy, support and help you all gave us, during the months following Keith’s death, a year ago this week.  So many friends have lost their own loved ones: and Keith’s death was followed, the next day by the loss of his (and our) dear friend, Janet Fielden.  It is still hard to believe that they will never come back: hard not to wonder if this whole long, difficult year hasn’t been some kind of huge, demonic joke, which will be over soon.
Many of you contacted us, during the months following Keith’s death, to ask if we were planning a memorial service or other tribute.  In those early days, we thought the pandemic might soon be over and we would be free to celebrate Keith’s life in appropriate ways that he himself would have enjoyed.  As you know, this has not been possible: restrictions on coming together, even in sorrow, have made it hard to do anything involving more than a very few people.  For hundreds of thousands, this has a hard and painful way to say goodbye to ones whom we love.
This little memorial tribute seems like a painfully inadequate replacement for what might have been: but we hope, notwithstanding, that you will feel able to join with us in our anniversary thanks for all that Keith has meant to each one of us, for his friendship, for his belief in those he loved, and all the lovely, happy memories that will never go away.  Please feel free to share your own memories or reflections.
Gillian, Michael, Julian and Anna
If you would like to make a donation in memory of Keith, please visit the Carlisle Cathedral donation page, you'll be supporting a cause Keith cared deeply about.
Meanwhile, thanks to Bloomsbury Press: click here for a chance to hear that inimitable voice again, throwing new light on a familiar story. 
Posted by Julian Meadow on April 14, 2021
posted on behalf of Ruth Howe

I first got to know Keith when we moved into our respective houses within a day of each other. He was a true neighbour and friend, and had a knack of always appearing at just the right moment when help was most needed. Snow clearing was one such moment!

When we had a Street Party to celebrate the Queen's Golden Jubilee we were all asked to contribute food wise. Keith volunteered to make a cake - and I couldn't help feeling that it was a brave man who would do this when there were so many cake making experts from the W.I. likely to be present! However, true to form, he produced the most delicious fruit cake which was enjoyed and appreciated by all.

Another of his talents was jam making, and I have been the grateful recipient of his plum jam, ( the plums were from his own tree ) and Marmalade made by Janet and himself. They really were of a high standard and flavoursome.

Keith is sorely missed by us, his neighbours. He was kind, patient and always good humoured. A truly gentle man. I feel so privileged to have known him, and my thoughts are with his family at this time.
Posted by William Cock on April 12, 2021
I first met KMM as a pupil of his at Rugby in 1979. He rekindled my love of Latin and Greek and was the reason I read Classics at University. One of those rare people that inspired all around him - whatever the subject matter. A school trip to Rome was a life changing highlight.
Posted by Claire Le Hur on April 6, 2021
Even though we did not overlap at Rugby the KM years were famous, I had some very big shoes to fill when I took over as Head of Classics. I learnt a huge amount from you, Keith and most of all, thank you, for inviting me to teach at Bryanston.
Posted by Nick Morse on April 2, 2021
I can't quite believe it is a year since we lost both Keith and Janet. They were a huge part of our lives here at Rugby School and did so much for both the pupils and staff. Hopefully one day we can have a fitting memorial service in the School Chapel for all the former members of staff (and pupils) who passed away during the pandemic.
Posted by Cecilia Young on March 27, 2021
Weekly monday night pre-orchestra suppers with Keith and James in 1994. I never understood half of what they talked about, especially the latin bits, but memorable and marvellous times none the less. And wonderful to catch up with Keith again a few years ago.
Posted by Julian Meadow on March 27, 2021
posted on behalf of Canon Michael Manley at Carlisle Cathedral

The following hymn was written specifically, at the cathedral, for this week of mourning for those we have lost, in gratitude to the devotion, professionalism and kindness of NHS staff.

It can be sung to the tune of 'Eternal Father, strong to save…..' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZJdqQeieyg

Mourner’s Hope

1.
We give them back to you O Lord
Those whom we loved - but could not hold.
We dare to trust they weren’t alone
For all are yours and all are known.
Through nursing care, we understand
You sat beside them, held their hand.

2.
We thank you for the angels there
who day and night fulfilled our prayer:
to hear their sighs in whispered breath
and speak your peace to ease their death.    
We leave them in your warm embrace
Now raised to life within your grace.

3.
We could not mourn as others may
Nor offer all we hoped to say.
We could not gather all as one
To toast their name or sing their song.
Yet at your table now they dine
And with us join in bread and wine. 
   
4.
Lord help us on our lonely road
to voice the grief and share our load.
You know the pain the fear the loss:                  
You held our wounds upon your cross.
Then rose, still scarred, to life reborn,     
In us, let hope, new purpose dawn.        

5.
We give them back to you and trust
Your love that gave them each to us.
You did not lose them when they came
Nor we, in letting go again.
Help us to see we’re all but one
that death’s defeated, love has won. 
                                       
6.
Creator, Spirit, Word made flesh
In you  is life, and all is blest.                     
Receive our prayer and bring us home                           
By love transformed, your image own,
With all your saints who’ve gone before
To worship you for evermore.              

© Chapter of Carlisle Cathedral, March 2021
Posted by Emily Haigh on March 26, 2021
Keith was such a special soul. A regular for Sunday lunch at my parent's house providing the most superb puddings :-) and lots of giggles to be had aswell! I am honoured to have known him and loved him like a member of our family. I am so saddened by his passing; I think of him frequently and miss him dearly.
Posted by Nick Cuthbert on March 26, 2021
Keith, my father’s cousin, honorary Cuthbert and all round good egg. Mum shares the same birthday as Keith and they would be the same age, so makes it all the more poignant.

I was so saddened by the news of Keith’s passing. Such a cruel time to be taken and difficult for all his loved ones, not to be able to come together and celebrate his life. Let’s hope there’s light at the end of the tunnel and at some point in the not so near future, we can all, in our own ways, get together and do just that.

With Love,

Nick


Posted by Roger feldman on March 25, 2021
I find it hard to accept that Keith has left us.

My life in England has always had Keith, and the memories are clear for the over 30 years.

I learned all sorts of things about the wall, the people, their tools, illnesses, life, he either knew or told me where it is available.

He is here with us, in memory.
Posted by Richard Mayo on March 25, 2021
My wife Emma and I knew Keith when we taught at Rugby School. Without Keith's unstinting work and support, the School's Chapel Choir would not have come to life in the wholly successful way it did.  Keith was a quite brilliant man: an academic scholar with an artistic integrity. It was a pleasure to work with him and privilege to have known him.
Posted by Marie Cuthbert on March 24, 2021
Keith. Mike’s cousin, honorary Cuthbert and my ‘twin’.
There is a big hole in all our lives; we loved you & miss you.
Marie & Mike.
Posted by Rebecca Fielden on March 24, 2021
Keith was an intelligent, thoughtful and inspiring man who had a knack of being able to interact with anyone no matter what. He has been the most amazing addition to our lives and I am grateful that he struck up a friendship with mum all those years ago as he was such an incredible man to have known.

It was a true privilege to have sung with him on several occasions and I will never forget the times when, during midnight mass at carlisle cathedral, he would conduct mum and I from the choir stalls as we tried to sing the descants to Christmas carols! I was so grateful to have been taught by him as well and he had an enthusiasm for Latin and ancient Greek which made his face light up whenever he taught his pupils. He also liked to put his hand to directing which led to interesting results on stage.

Over the years he has become more of a part of our lives and when my children and I lived with mum, Keith often came over to her house for tea on Sundays which the children loved. My children both grew very fond of Keith and he became like a surrogate grandfather to them. They both miss him so much.

I often witnessed mum and Keith doing crosswords together which I always tried to help with but mostly was no help at all. Keith had a great ability of getting you believing an answer he gave was right even if it wasn’t always right.

I am so grateful that he has been part of our lives and I wish I had had a chance to thank him.

He is sorely missed but heaven has gained a very bright star.
Posted by Cressida Ryan on March 24, 2021
I met Keith through Bryanston, like so many. He was appointed my chorus-master (and perhaps overseer?) for the Greek play in 2007, and I came to know him better and appreciate him enormously as a friend. When I then started as outreach officer in Classics, I was faced with a spreadsheet of email addresses without names. His gave me no sense that it might be him, and I remember having to email tentatively asking 'who is this please' and receiving a humorous and good-humoured response. He was a wonderful friend and mentor. He wrote me a Christmas card before my wedding with what at first looked like random numbers / letters on the back of the envelope. I realised it was a Homer reference, to Odyssey 6 and Odysseus wishing Nausicaa a blessed marriage. This had been my GCSE set text so struck a chord. I showed the passage to my husband, and we agreed to use it as the reading at our civil wedding (we had to have a civil and Catholic ceremony separately). I wrote my own translation, and a week before the wedding, the registry office rang to say we couldn't use it because it mentioned the gods, so was religious, and this was a secular service. I might have got a little agitated about this point, especially as we only had to have the registry office because we were getting married in the college chapel. They capitulated and accepted that the Olympians probably didn't count in British law after all. We had the reading, and printed it in the chapel service sheet too, to link the two weddings. So a beautiful influence by Keith on our wedding. I miss his good humour, our chats about everything (especially travel, music, and tragedy), his no-nonsense approach.
Posted by Andrew Fielden on March 24, 2021
What to say...

Keith has been a part of my life for 30 years and always proven to be an intelligent, loving, thoughtful man. My mother's friendship with him began when she joined the teaching staff at Rugby School and what a blessing it was for all of us.

Over the years Keith became more and more part of the family, joining us for holidays and celebrations on countless occasions. Since my father died he stepped in to the roll a "surrogate Granddad" with his usual skill, grace and effortlessness.

When I think of Kieth I tend to remember those little moments that could be so easily missed. Those times where he'd quietly interject with the most brilliant, thought-provoking sentiment.

We were very different people but shared so many nuances. I learnt from him every time I saw him. Just a brilliant man and a privilege to have known him.

The time and care he gave to me and my family can never be repaid and given the speed at which he was taken from us I'm incredibly grateful that I got the opportunity to thank him and tell him how loved he was before he passed away.

I know he will be missed by so many and my thoughts are with his family.
Posted by Simon Bowler on March 24, 2021
Dear Uncle Keith, I can’t believe it has been a year since your passing. Think about you daily, the sky and night have got a real gem up there. Christmas will never be the same, I loved our chats, you were a true listener, you hung on every word said. Your mannerisms whilst engaging conversation were somewhat quirky, “mmmm”, I’ve even found myself, of late, doing exactly the same, for which I will be internally grateful that part of you lives on. Sending you loads of love as always.
Posted by Henrietta Peterken on March 24, 2021
I was lucky enough to have Keith as my godfather, and what a brilliant one he was. Entirely committed, generous, wonderful company, great fun and, as many of the tributes rightly mention, wise, knowledgable and kind. Thank you so much Keith for all the fun and the memories: trips to the theatre, art galleries, cinema, lots of restaurants, churches, cathedrals, walks and many happy visits to us in Wiltshire, Gloucestershire, Surrey and Cornwall over the years. You sent wonderful presents and witty postcards from all round the world. You spoiled me rotten and I so enjoyed my time with you- I always felt better having been in your company. Rest in peace; we miss you lots.
Posted by Peter Ford on March 24, 2021
Posted by Peter on behalf of Lavinia Ford: I first met Keith in 1980, when, as a new teacher at Lawrence Sheriff School, I joined the Kilsby Singers. During the interval of our first concert, Keith stood up to advertise RADFAS, the Rugby version of the national decorative and fine arts society, appealing for new members. My sister and I became enthusiastic recruits. Little did I know then that Keith would become a very dear friend, our elder daughter's godfather, and a great inspiration to each of us. His regular visits en route to or from Bryanston were always appreciated, and the spring exeat trips for his god-daughter were very special indeed. His parties were wonderful too. I particularly recall his 60th, at the height of the tanker drivers' strike, when he began his speech by asking 'What's the difference between petrol and paraffin?' The answer followed with Keith's customary drollery: 'There's no effin' petrol.' Our children thought this the most wonderful joke, and indeed Keith was able to tease anyone into good humour through his interest in them and through treating them always with impeccable politeness. We all miss him terribly.
Posted by Roger Brown on March 24, 2021
This tribute is from both me (Roger Brown) and my wife Marian. Keith and Janet were close friends of ours, not only through Wordsworth Singers but also through other shared interests such as film, photography, humour and moral philosophy! Janet was a creative photographer and in May 2019, we shared a long-weekend with both of them in Northumbria. This was organised by Janet through Penrith Camera Club of which she was a valued member. We fondly recall a happy day on Lindisfarne where Janet took numerous photos while we and Keith enjoyed strolling around and sampling the mead! We remember so vividly the terrible news, a few days after the event, that both Keith and Janet had died. We continue to remember them with great fondness as wonderful friends and so gifted.
Posted by Peter Ford on March 24, 2021
Keith took the notion of 'community' very seriously indeed. As a young teacher at Rugby, I enjoyed lunches at Keith's boarding house and the Christmas Supper, after which there were games. I'd never played charades before. Keith gave me: 'The Animal Rights Militia'. Thanks for that, Keith. His manners were impeccable and he had the extraordinary and rare gift of being able to listen to what people had to say with genuine interest. During a 'theme day' at Housesteads, a couple of local women, dressed to the nines, told Keith: 'Uzz iz patrician ladies', without any idea that they were speaking to someone who knew as much about the Romans as the rest of the people there that day put together. Keith questioned them without a suggestion of the patronising and took real interest in what they said. I never left Keith's company without feeling improved by it. He wore his learning, which was immense, lightly. He was one of the few in that he knew what knowledge was for: he was immensely wise. He was an invariable force for good. It was a privilege to have known him. His visits were eagerly anticipated and long talked about afterwards. He was a wonderfully committed Godfather to one of our daughters and introduced one of our sons to the wonders of the Greek Summer School at Bryanston. He was loyal, invariably inspirational, immensely good company. We loved him deeply.
Posted by Anthony Verity on March 24, 2021
My appreciation of Keith is pretty well contained in the obit I wrote for him in the Cumberland News. What I didn't say was how much I admired his brilliance in the classical languages and literature, and the modesty with which he cloaked it. I also enjoyed the security of standing next to him in the Wordsworth Singers.
Tony
Posted by Julian Meadow on March 24, 2021
posted on behalf of Peter Jones

I first met Keith at the JACT Greek Summer School 1979 in 1973 or 1974. I watched him teach there. It was an extraordinary experience, to witness (in Plato's image) 'a flame kindled by a leaping spark' in the minds of his pupils. We met fairly regularly after he moved to Brampton. The Latin word humanus sums Keith up for me: 'kindly, considerate, civilised, cultivated', joyful company and a man in whom one could place an absolute trust.
Peter
Posted by Anna Meadow on March 23, 2021
Keith was a really wonderful uncle, and there are so many ways in which I’m going to miss his physical presence.
I’m going to miss the genuine care and interest that Keith took in my life and that of my daughter. I’m going to miss listening to the family narratives about Keith’s and mum’s childhoods (he was always the best at everything apparently…). I’m going to miss noticing how he always noticed if anyone in a social gathering looked as though they needed some of his kind attention, and his capacity to offer friendship without judgement . I’m going to miss the always late, (but all the more exciting for not knowing when they would arrive), and always thoughtful gifts. I’m going to miss how he brought the family together and how committed he was to family occasions. I’m even going to miss one of his (very few) irritating behaviours, which was just how much longer Keith could eke out opening his Christmas presents than the rest of us.
I’m very glad to have had Keith in my life and to have so many lovely memories of times spent with him, and very sad that it couldn’t have been for longer.
Posted by Elizabeth Warren on March 23, 2021
My connection with Keith began at the Greek Summer School in 1990 where he stood out for his kindness to new tutors like myself. From 2004 he and I worked closely together when he became Chairman of the Management Committee and I the Course Secretary. It was good to listen to his voice again and his story took me back to the visit we made together to Vindolanda when I was staying for our annual bursary meeting. His wisdom and humour, his understanding and generosity made him an amazing companion and I hugely valued his friendship and miss him deeply now.
Posted by Jane Bowler on March 23, 2021
I have known Keith for all my married life. He was best man at our wedding and has been a constant in our lives ever since. Godfather to our eldest son and friend to the whole family, Keith always lit up the room with his infectious sense of fun and laughter. Due to geography Keith had to make a huge effort to join in family occasions, christenings, confirmations, special birthdays and particularly Christmas when he would sing in Carlisle Cathedral on Christmas morning before driving all the way to Hertfordshire to brighten our day.  I missed not buying him his socks for Christmas last year and still cannot believe that he will never come through the door again. He was a very special person and I know I speak for everyone when I say how much he will be missed. He, and latterly Janet, were a very important part of our family. Thank you Keith for being in our lives. Fondest love from the Bowler Gang.
Posted by Penny Aldred on March 23, 2021
I remember so many happy times with Keith, being invited to join in countless outings and family celebrations over many years by him and Gillian - Christmases and craft fairs at Rugby, expeditions in Cumbria, birthdays, theatre visits, all sorts of things. He was such a good host, made everyone feel welcome, and was truly interested in catching up on happenings since last meeting. Not least, I could always call on him to help me with classical "relusions" in my investigations of the works of Angela Thirkell. I really miss him.
Posted by Mike Smith on March 23, 2021
I first met Keith at his great friend David West’s house. I happened to mention that I really needed a teacher to help me cover all my Classics classes at Queen Elizabeth High School, Hexham. David said ‘What about this man?’ Keith had retired from Rugby and lived quite a distance from Hexham, yet he wanted to help out and applied for the job which, of course, he got. Thus began our friendship. Keith was such a wonderful teacher. His relationships with the students were inspiring – nothing was ever too much trouble. His sense of fun was infectious and he quickly became a friend to all in the Languages office.
After we both left QEHS, we remained in touch – how could we not? Keith came and judged at the annual Northumberland and Durham Reading Competitions, he and Janet would come and watch my dramatic performances and we would meet for fairly regular lunches in a pub on the Roman Wall trail to exchange our news, his latest travels or my latest family adventures. 
I am so grateful to have known Keith. Though it was for such a relatively short time I feel as though I have lost a lifelong friend. I think about him constantly. I miss his erudition, his smile and the twinkle in his eye when he chuckled. He was a lovely man.
Posted by Elizabeth Carroll on March 21, 2021
My friendship with Keith came about through his with Janet but I would like to think that it became independent of that relationship. Keith had family ties to Scotland as well as choral links. He visited us in Edinburgh and i enjoyed his hospitality in Brampton. David ,my husband, revered him for his classical skills and I for his unfailing kindness and good manners. He was great company and I know that he will be missed by many.
Posted by Andrew Connell on March 19, 2021
A scholar and a gentleman.

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Recent Tributes
Posted by Julian Meadow on April 14, 2021
posted on behalf of Ruth Howe

I first got to know Keith when we moved into our respective houses within a day of each other. He was a true neighbour and friend, and had a knack of always appearing at just the right moment when help was most needed. Snow clearing was one such moment!

When we had a Street Party to celebrate the Queen's Golden Jubilee we were all asked to contribute food wise. Keith volunteered to make a cake - and I couldn't help feeling that it was a brave man who would do this when there were so many cake making experts from the W.I. likely to be present! However, true to form, he produced the most delicious fruit cake which was enjoyed and appreciated by all.

Another of his talents was jam making, and I have been the grateful recipient of his plum jam, ( the plums were from his own tree ) and Marmalade made by Janet and himself. They really were of a high standard and flavoursome.

Keith is sorely missed by us, his neighbours. He was kind, patient and always good humoured. A truly gentle man. I feel so privileged to have known him, and my thoughts are with his family at this time.
Posted by William Cock on April 12, 2021
I first met KMM as a pupil of his at Rugby in 1979. He rekindled my love of Latin and Greek and was the reason I read Classics at University. One of those rare people that inspired all around him - whatever the subject matter. A school trip to Rome was a life changing highlight.
Posted by Claire Le Hur on April 6, 2021
Even though we did not overlap at Rugby the KM years were famous, I had some very big shoes to fill when I took over as Head of Classics. I learnt a huge amount from you, Keith and most of all, thank you, for inviting me to teach at Bryanston.
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