ForeverMissed

 This memorial website is created by Donald Trisdale, his husband, in memory of our beloved:

KEN BARRY DYCHES
Barry passed into eternity December 29,2010, after a courageous battle with terminal brain cancer known as melanoma. Barry celebrated his 72nd birthday December 12, 2010. His passing shocked many and left our world with one less loving, caring and loyal individual. His footprint remains in our hearts. We shall remember him FOREVER. 


All memorial tributes are deeply appreciated and can be individually created BELOW these stated red guidelines.
1. "ALL GUEST / MEMBERS CAN CREATE A MEMORIAL TRIBUTE.

2. SCROLL DOWN BELOW ALL OF THE "REMEMBERED DATES" AND CLICK ON "CREATE A TRIBUTE."

3. "REMEMBERED DATES" ARE ONLY CREATED BY THE ADMINISTRATOR OF THE WEBSITE.

4. TRIBUTES CAN BE CREATED BY ALL GUEST

Also, guests/members can click on the tab "STORIES" located above and add a personal story. Photos are permitted to be added. Add photos by clicking on the TAB "GALLERY" OR "ADD PHOTOS" on the right side of the page.

"REMEMBERED DATES".

58. REMEMBERED WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 29, 2021
GOD gave us a special soul who walked the earth with purpose and always with grace.

57. REMEMBERED SUNDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2021
The day represents the day of your birth. We, (I), miss you and the celebrations we shared on your special day. Today, I give thanks to your life and all the memories you gave me and to others. We were so blessed to have your footprint on our hearts.
 
56. REMEMBERED FRIDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2021
The Present, Past, and Future. The years we SHARED. Now, on this day and date-45 years

55. REMEMBERED THURSDAY, NOVEMBEER 24, 2021
Thanksgiving Day..
We have so much to give thanks too this year. Yes, we did lose so many, but please join me in knowing they are everlasting life and with others we have loved, cherish, and honored each day in our memories. Your love is everlasting, and lets march forward, knowing they hold our hand wishing us a wonderful day. You are loved! How do I know this? God told me so! I love you all, and know your heart hurts. Turn inward and toward your gift of love and forgiving, and all will be well. Barry touched my hand in those last moments, opened his eyes, grinned somehow, and whispered “I love you”. He walked with GOD’s angels.

54.  REMEMBERED MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 2021
.
The last few days I wandered along our path, holding your hand to reduce the fright of being without you. Your strong hand in mine chased my demons far. You never knew how your strength saved me and others. Soon, I will have traveled 75 years; 11 years without your hand holding me near so I don’t fall off life’s cliff into the deep blue sea of eternal life. Because you loved me, never did you let go of my hand. Now, I remain walking in life’s forest with my hand always trying to put my hand back into yours. Almost eleven years passed struggling, yearning to clasp your hand of strength. So strong it was, the power of your hand continues to give me strength to struggle forward, knowing I will catch up with you soon, and once again grasp your hand again - in your care. I love you and miss you even greater as the years pass more than I ever thought was possible.


53. REMEMBERED TUESDAY, MAY 11 2021.
Some days are more filled with your words, and today you had so many words. Not only did I hear you, I felt your presence as I watched over and beyond the ocean. Why are some days so surreal and personal? I love those days. You and me.

52.  REMEMBERED SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2021.
To read this remembrance SCROLL down to TRIBUTES.


51. REMEMBERED, TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF PASSING, DECEMBER 29 2010 
Today, returns thoughts and the reality of your suffering those last minutes until your eternal life. Though, many have more pleasant life memories of you as I do, this day seems to never fade those horrific moments of seeing you passing. Our friend Pam holding my hand as we both watched in disbelief this was happening. My heart remains in this felt pain but I fight each day for remembering you are no longer in pain, and doing GOD's work. I love you even more if that is possible, and hold on tight to the extraordinary memories knowing and being so grateful for the love you gave me and the friendship embraced to others.

50. REMEMBERED, CHRISTMAS, DECEMBER 25, 2020
Dearly missed, and loved. Ten years made of so many days of reflection of your love, and the times we spent with each other. Not only I, but so many hearts you touched, and still do.

49. REMEMBERED, BIRTHDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2020.
SUCH A DAY OF MEMORIES. TODAY, WOULD BE YOUR 82nd BIRTHDAY. YOU WERE ALWAYS SHY OF ATTENTION, BUT SO WORTHY OF ALL. I LOVE YOU, AND MISS YOU DEEPLY. MAY THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT BE YOURS THIS SPECIAL DAY, AND IN DAYS / YEARS TO COME
LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GENEROSITY, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, SELF-CONTROL ARE WORDS I SPIRITUALY THINK OF WHEN I FEEL AND REFLECT MY LOVE OF YOU.

48,  REMEMBERED OUR ANNIVERSARY DECEMBER 10, 2020
EACH DAY IS LIKE AN ANNIVERSARY, KNOWING YOUR LOVE, RESPECT, AND CARING WAYS. YET, TRADITION ONLY CELEBRATES IT ONCE A YEAR. THIS YEAR, TEN YEARS SINCE I SAW THAT HUMAN SMILE, THOUGH I SEE IT OFTEN IN DIFFERENT VENUES. THIS DAY IS CELEBRATED IN A SPIRITUAL EVERLASTING LOVE REPRESENTING 52 YEARS OF KNOWING AN ANGEL ON EARTH. FOR ME, IT WAS A MIRACLE I GOT TO WALK WITH YOU AS LONG AS I DID. i MISS THAT GIFT I WAS GIVEN EVER SO MORE!

47. REMEMBERED THANKSGIVING DAY, 2020...TEN YEARS AGO.
 OUR LAST THANKSGIVING WITH YOU IN OUR HOSPITAL ROOM/HOME...LITTLE DID WE KNOW IT WOULD BE OUR LAST THOUGH WE KNEW IT WAS EXTREMELY SPECIAL - YOU, HARLEN AND ME, AND YOUR ANGELS. A HUNDRED YEARS WILL PASS, I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER OUR LOVE AND BE SO THANKFUL. WE WERE SO BLESSED BY GOD

 46, REMEMBERED SUNDAY, APRIL 12, 2020, EASTER SUNDAY

45. REMEMBERED FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2020. HAPPY VALENTRINES DAY.

44. REMEMBERED WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 01,2020.....

Begin another year; 10 years without you December 29, 2020! Unbelievable!

43. REMEMBERED THURSDAY, DECEMBER 27, 2019.
I am so saddened and sorry for the pain you experienced for me. Nine years later, I feel you, touch you, and enjoy all the memories you created for us. I love you Barry.

42. REMEMBERED WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 25, 2019. CHRISTMAS EVE AND DAY.
Christmas Eve, Christmas Day.....Yes, I love you and yes it is a difficult time even after nine years. The church activities, parties, and sharing time with so many people we enjoyed over the years are such glorious Christmas gifts. Yet, the loneliness and sorrow I feel is helplines and weak as I move to the glorious day without you. Holding your hand in Church, and praying together, and saying to each other “I love You”, hearing that voice of security, warmth, and never ending love is breath taking even after nine years of not hearing your words.

41. REMEMBERED THURSDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2019. ARE YOU REALLY 81?

TODAY, came so quick, another year.HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Alone, yet surrounded by so many love ones who knew us.  I know we are both here together, were we would had been by now with each other on our island settling back and enjoying the “good life.” I got us here this year. We are all here now — Listening to a song that came out a few years ago, entitled, “ Pontoon “ by Little Big Town; a song made for us drinking a few beers on a special day. Barry, I love you so much, and after 9 years, I can’t hardly stand it still not being with you especially on this day. I am trying so hard to accept our faith that life is eternity, but it is challenge. I just want to be with you. Life is nothing anymore without you. I promised you I would go on, but I have failed that promise. I am still so mad, and miserable with life without you. Sorry, sweetie. I will keep working on it. Today, a special day and I am so thankful I was a part of your life and so loved by you..  Of course, playing our song tonight, “Sea of Love”.  How much do I love you? More than my life or any measurement of life. My heart is so full tonight. Does anyone understand except YOU!  LOVING YOU FOR ETERNITY! ... We are at home, you, the babies and me and even J.C. You know were I am and you are with me. This will be our final resting place on this beautiful earth GOD gave to us. Took me nine years to get us here, but I never gave up, struggled, prayed a lot for help, and kept focused. We are now home on earth, and we will both be home eternity in the future.

40.  REMEMBERED TUESDAY, DECEMBER 10TH 2019
We would have celebrated our 43rd anniversary, December 10th 2019. In some ways it has been a long nine years since we celebrated together the moment/day we join our lives together. It wasn’t enough time to enjoy our togetherness. I miss you so deeply. Still trying to understand the why’s’ and what ifs’, but continue come back to the reality that I won’t see you till we are united in GODs house and then it will be for eternity. So my faith will get me back to you and that is all that matters. I love you, miss you, and always thinking about YOU!
u
always, especially on this special day, DEC 10, 2019. Happy Anniversary!

39.
REMEMBERED THURS, NOVEMBER 28, 2019.
A blessing so many happy full days together giving thanks and being grateful for the love we shared. I will never stop loving you and missing your love.

38. REMEMBERED MAY MEMORIAL DAY MAY 27 2019.
SEE STORIES WHY BARRY IS REMEMBERED ON MEMORIAL DAY - HIS DEVOTION AND SERVICE CAUSED HIS DEATH.


37. REMEMBERED MAY 10, 2019 .........
MEMORY TONIGHT -A SPIRITUAL FEELING.  Tonight, not a special night for most, but some spirituals swirling about within me and feeling your presence.  More intense tonight than usual, and this spiritual feeling woke me. Are you near? I feel your presence - all day actually. Ended up becoming extremely emotional tonight. Maybe because after nine years, I opened a bottle of red wine we won at a NASCAR Jeff Gordon Auction. Sometime ago in the moves after your new journey I broke one of the Jeff Gordon’s red wine glasses. Kept the broken one, and it sits next to yours, and I used your glass. The corks are becoming dry, plus I just for some reason wanted to have a glass of red wine - a stirring of feelings for you! You are here tonight. Listening to music, and for some reason many of our songs are playing. The music is a streaming wi-fi songs that are played random. Guess you are playing, because one after another are all the songs we listened to as you drove me to work, as we drove watching the world past by our car windows. A very powerful spiritual evening. Thank you my darling angel Barry. I love you, and miss you so and very deeply.

.36. REMEMBERED FEBRUARY 14 2019. 
Thinking of our wonderful valentine memories of years past. Each were so special. I love you and always will. You are forever my Captain Valentine.”


35.  REMEMBERED DECEMBER 29, 2018  
Though I live with this empty feeling everyday, it is more prominent today. At 2023 on this day, 8 years ago you entered eternal life. I would get in bed with you, and kiss a final goodbye. I would play that moment in my mind forever. As our dear enduring friend, Pam stood and witnessed this passing, catching me afterwards, hugging me, and then she said a final goodbye as well. Then she left the room to fetch the nurses. We had our last final moment together, but not so fast - we have so many more in dreams, and moments I knew you created.. This all plays out in my my mind constantly. I love you so Barry. You are so missed my darling.


34, REMEMBERED DECEMBER 25, 2018 
Christmas 2018. Thinking of you and where we were eight years ago. Time growing short as WE (PAM AND I) watched you sleep peacefully (breathing heavenly) in the hospital bed. You had gone to sleep a few days earlier, and sharing with me it was time for me to make the decisions. You closed your eyes and you never spoke again. A moment in time I shall take with me forever. I knew what you meant, and as I looked at you indefinitely, and I thought.....well, I will keep that to myself, since you already know.  I am sure you heared me tell you continuously I will always love you forever, and I do.  Enduring moments, and I hope you heard Pam and I talking till the end. You are and will always be my super hero, and the best Christmas present I ever received in my life. "GOD BLESS YOU BARRY" and I LOVE YOU MORE THAN EVER.


 33. REMEMBERED DECEMBER 12, 2018. 
Happy Birthday!

Today, your 80th birthday, some eight years since your journey after life started. How is this possible? It is so unreal/surreal, and I have such difficulty understanding you are not here. I miss you so deeply, the pain became a numbness. Today, you are so on my mind, not much difference from any other day of the year, but today, I get to dream you were born, and came into my life for us to be one. A glorious gift given by you to me on your birthday. Barry, there is only one like you, and I was so fortunate to be married to you. You gave the gift of life, "your love". and my dearest human being. When you were alive, I could never express how deeply I loved you and appreciated who you were....still words limit my expression and lost of this gift. You were/are the best person in my life that has walked on the earth I live. I pray every day on this earth, I will walk beside you once again. I know you are here. I watch for you, and hear you with those pennies, and dimes you drop for me to find. Oh sweetie, I love you so. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

32. REMEMERED DECEMBER 10 2018. 
Our anniversary would have been today, December 10th, 2 days before your birthday. Both dates are difficult times, but always remembered. I love you so much, and miss you more today than those first days you had to say good-bye. I use this day, like many trying to think of our good times, but being weak, slip often back to moments in the hospital and how sick you were. Barry, I know you visit alot, and I truly feel your presence; I love you being near when you can. Never stop being around. I need you more than ever. Only one request, please be there when it is time and reach out for my hand. I love you forever, forever, and forever. Today, our 44th anniversary and I am still here without YOU!. Unbelievable.


31. REMEMBERED NOVEMBER 22 2018.
You are always here and remembered. As we start another holiday season, my love for you is stronger than ever before. I reflect over so many wonderful holidays, and think how fortunate to share so many. Hearing your voice and seeing the smiles you shared with the world brings the reality you walked with us for years. Often I reach out and touch your face just to waken and realize it was a dream, but I am so blessed to dream of a past reality.

30. REMEMBRED SEPTEMBER 10 2018 
Today, I am 72. My day is filled with memories of being with you, sharing you with no one on previous birthdays. You always took the day off, and you would prepare a lovely breakfast, and we would watch together my favorite movie "The Way We Were", starring Robert Reford. Afterwards, a very busy day ahead full of surpries. Always, we ended with a fabulous romantic dinner, and most of the time attending a play, smphony concert, or a movie holding hands. I missed you, and the our together times, laughter, and most of all just looking at you with such pride. I can't help to think today though, when you turned 72, December 12, you only had 17 days left, and we could only share it together with you lying in bed so sick.  At that time time we did not know why this had happen so qucikly, nor why. But, since then, I have found out, you gave your life for our country being exposed to Agent Orange while in the service. All the ships you were assigned too was exposed to Agent Orange during the Vietnam Crisis/War. A substance many years later recognized by our government exposure meant most often cancer that was terminal. It was for you like so many and so early for the man I loved so much. Thank you for those nine years of Navy Service, and giving the ultimate, your life. I am and so many so indebted to your sacrifice, and my lost. I love you Liteunant Commander, and miss you everyday, but today is extra difficult.


29. REMEMBERED APRIL 1, 2018.
Celebrated Harlen's 38th B.D. We shared memories of past birthdays when you were here.

28. REMEMBERED FEBURARY 14, 2018.
 You are always my Valentine as you have always known. Using this day to remember your thoughtfulness and the love you shared with me not only on this day but each day of our lives together. We truly embraced a living, real fairy tale of respectful love for the days we endured together. Thank you. You gave me a lifetime gift. An everlasting Happy Valentine memory, my darling Captain.


27. REMEMBERED DECEMBER 29, 2017.
Seven years ago, along with Pam, I watched you leave and I shall never forget that moment as I said goodbye to the love of my life. Life without you is unexplainable. I quit trying to understand it because I just miss you so much. Nothing is right. I love you.

26.
REMEMBERED DECEMBER 12, 2017.
Today we celebrate Barry's 79th birthday. Seven years have passed since entering the eternity gates. I miss you more than ever as everyone who you touched in life. A true giant void in the universe was created by your passing, but we shall always remember the gift of your birth that was created on this day. We all wish today we could have spent more time with you, but always cherish the moments we endured within your present. May your angel wings spread love and joy to more. You were a true blessing and for me an angel who walked among us.

25.REMEMBERED:
DECEMBER 10, 2017. 
We would
celebrate our 45th ANNIVERSARY ON THIS DAY. You are here with me tonight like so many evenings. I feel you.

24
.
REMEMBERED: NOVEMBER 23, 2017
  
THANKSGIVING DAY. The days before and the days after ALWAYS.

23
.REMEMBERED:
 4 JULY 201723. REMEMBERED: JUNE 18, 2017:
 
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, BARRY.I love you so and miss you.

22
. REMEMBERED
:
 February 14, 2017
Another Valentines year without you. I did not write on this year's valentine day because it was more painful than ever. It has taken me until today to write to you, plus a song, plus you visiting me today. Even some TV technicians said there are spirits in the house. Of course, I know it's you. I just smiled and said you are okay. "He wants to make sure you are not going to hurt me." It was not a good year, but they are never are even great things do happen. I just miss the love of my life, and my life is no life without you. You are always my Valentine each day. A day does not go by without you being my first and last thought. Your love still touches me as it always will till I can no longer touch your love, and then I will be with you again. Thank you for your eternal love Barry.

21. REMEMBERED: FEBRUARY 14, 
2016
VALENTINES DAY...Five years after receiving a wonderful and loving messages of your love. You were the most wonderful writer of special love messages. Thank you, and I miss them so dearly. I have one of the first photographs you and I have together, and what a wonderful Valentine's gift. We can thank Francine for this great gift.

2
0
. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 29, 2016
SIX YEARS (DECEMBER 29, 2010 @ 8:28 PM) since we said our FINAL goodbye to each other. A difficult day, because of remembering how ill and how much pain you ended life. I tried everything to keep your pain away. I am so sorry and miss you each day of the year. 

19. REMEMBERED CHRISTMAS 2016.....
DEC 12, 2016  Birthday....
Loving you always, and forever!. You are the first, the last, and my everything.

18. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 10, 2016 - ANNIVERSARY...
As our song tell us, "you're my first, my last, my everything.The only one like you, there could not be another like you." I love you. Were did the time go for us? Missing you more than ever, and our tradition of having breakfast at the Bel-Air Hotel to kick off our special day. Remembering the anniversary that morning at the Bel-Air when we met our favorite actress Meryl Streep. She hugged us both! 

17. REMEMBERED:
 
THANKSGIVING DAY 24, 2016
Tis the season again, and difficult times of the year without you. It is coming up six years Dec.29, 2016 since I last saw you; of course, I see you each day in my memories and talk to you daily. I miss you and so lonely without you! It is not a real life without you. I travel often, but the reality where ever I go is without you and knowing that makes its so sad. Still, in disbelief, you are gone.

16. REMEMBERED: SEPTEMBER 10,2016

My birthday. ON A GREECE TRIP PROMISED TO TAKE ME ON. I DID IT.

15. REMEMBERED January 19, 2016
.
-Misty, our beloved BOSTON TERRIER, the LOVE OF OUR family passed at the age of 10.

14. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 14, 2015

Your still my loving and FOREVER VALENTINE.

13. REMEMBERED: SEPTEMBER 10, 2015.


12. REMEMBERED: NOVEMBER 26, 2015

ANOTHER THANKSGIVING DAY WITHOUT YOU...Found OUR SONG: "SEA OF LOVE"...How many times did we think of these words when I was at Berkeley and you in Nashville - separated by distance.We both thought the week would never end till one of us flew toward each other. We purchased American Airlines those three months.

11. REMEMBERED: December 10, 2015
42nd anniversary. Our birth...Its been five years, and I am still in shock without you, sometimes not believing you're gone, and other times realizing reality. Guess you know how much I miss you; of course, the hardest day is near, your birthday. But, today, it was our day, and we had so many special memories of this day. Never forget the morning of our 35th anniversary when we had a loving morning at the Bell-Air Hotel, relaxing outside having the most extravagant breakfast one could think of eating; setting in our round booth overlooking the beautiful swans in the pond, and then looking around to see one of our most famous movie stars, Meryl Streep, who looked up at us, hosted a glass and toasted to us. Our waiter who we had known for years, had shared with her we were celebrating our anniversary. She sent us a note, telling us congratulations. What a morning - a never unforgettable moment absolutely loving, a celebration day. Thank you, darling. I love you then, now, and forever. Thank you for everything, but most of all,  your unconditional love for our entire life together.Your Sport, Donald.

10
.
REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 12, 2015
Anniversary. LOVE YOUCAPTAIN. 

9.REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 24, 2015
My best gift ever was YOU!  Have fantasies of the door opening and there you are standing with your loving smile, and telling me, " I'M HOME!

7.REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 29
2015 - MEMORIES:
FIVE YEARS WITHOUT YOU...Like yesterday in so many ways. Where are the days, I KNOW NOT. Each day I watch for you with the flag, the hummingbirds, and often feel your presence. In MY HEART I know you are near. I love you for eternity.

6. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 14,2015
Your still my loving and FOREVER VALENTINE.

5. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 29, 201
4
4 yrs now passed. Sad memory!

4. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 12,2013
Another year, again, thinking of you the day you were born. Love YOU ever so much!

3. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 12, 2012
As long as I live without YOU.........I love you, Barry...Thinking of you the day you were born.

2. 
REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 12,2011
Where does the year go? Thinking of you on the day born.

1. REMEMBERED: JAN 1, 2011.
Started a new year without you. I can't stand it.

Posted by Helen Steers on December 29, 2021
I’m thinking of Barry and you Donald, today.
Blessings to you always.
Posted by Pam Wickles on December 29, 2021
Thinking of you and remembering the memories we share. You and Donald were a match made in heaven and such a joy to be with. Today Bob and I celebrate your life well lived! We love you!
Posted by Francine Martin on December 29, 2021
Rest in Peace, Barry. You are loved and missed each day. Watch over Donald and Harlan. And today I'm asking you to watch over my sister-in-law, Therese, in the hospital; send some of your love her way. You will always be remembered as a very special and wonderful man.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 29, 2021
My note seems so pointless, and yet I dream that it may bring you back. Time catches us so naked, and here we are once again. My soul, heart, body aches as it did 11 years ago, as the words came out of my mouth, “I love You”, thinking it would help you stay. Today, I say the same words, once again, hoping your back. How does one define “death” in terms of love, being with someone, and united as one, and then divided into halves. One vanishes, the other somewhere struggling with faith, hope, and horrific loneliness. Does life come together ever again? Maybe, in a different form, so foreign to the eyes we can’t see the gift. Once, again, I say I love you and deeply miss your being. I know you lived, and you exist in my being, thus we are still one. Always, forever, you are my only one. Donald
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 25, 2021
My thoughts and memories of you this Christmas morning, DEC 25, 2021. I am so grateful and blessed for all you did in your life. Love you, donald
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 20, 2021
As the days march toward the end of 2021, we must pass by the day you entered the eternal loving life of our Lord. Another year we have almost outgrown, but not before we once again recognize December 29, 2010 and the passing of a courageous soldier. Your life was heavenly magical and loved by so many. We, (I) miss you like no other because of who you were and the many blessings you gave us all. I shall never forget how you fought for the battle to sustain the horrific treatments for melanoma brain cancer. Your tenacity and strength continues to encourage us to remain strong and never give up even during these challenging moments. We were all blessed for your being and thankful for your footprint on our hearts. We are a better individual because of you. I love you immensely, nor is there is day you don’t continue to give me strength. Your sport.
Posted by Kathy Rogers on December 12, 2021
Today is a special day for you both and you will always be together and share love. 
Posted by Helen Steers on December 12, 2021
Thinking of Barry every day.
Whenever I look out of my kitchen and dining room window, I always see Barry and Donald. Our most wonderful friends.

Barry is with you today Donald as always.

Much love
Helen
Posted by Francine Martin on December 12, 2021
Thinking of you Barry today on our shared birthday. You were always so kind and generous to me. I have only happy memories of you. The world has become a crazy place so please look down on and watch Donald and all those you loved; give them comfort with your memory.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 12, 2021
Today, Sunday, December 12, 2021 represent a day to celebrate your birth. Though, like years past since December 29, 2010, we celebrate with loving memories of you. I have so many, but the one that always come to mind is the year we celebrated your 60th birthday with a trip to Paris on The Concorde. I still see you face, the shock, and the smile, and your words, “We can’t go, I packed only clothes for the beach”. You did not know, I had repacked your suitcase the night before for a trip to Paris for the winter months. You also got to see your long time Navy friend, Erwin, that day at John F. Kennedy International Airport. Your special day, how I loved them and YOU!.
Always.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 7, 2021
Hello my Love, and Captain,
Stopping by to let you know what you are already know, I am thinking about you. We would have celebrated our 45th anniversary of sharing life together, as of December 10th. You always showed such grace with that beautiful smile, harmony, and the deepest writings of how grateful you were to have each other. A day spent just hanging out, taking time to hold hands and walk the beach, sharing of flowers, exchanged beautiful handwritten love notes, then followed by a special romantic dinner. The day whist away so fast, and we would be off running toward a new year of endearment. Thank you for giving me this moment for eternity. My wish today is for our thoughtful friends, reach over and hug the one you love and tell them how much you enjoy that love.
Forever,
Sport, aka Donald
Posted by Evie Palicz on November 22, 2021
Donald, you and Barry brought such joy and happiness to all who were lucky enough to know you both. Your love light continues to shine bright. Have a blessed Thanksgiving and know that Barry is still with you. God bless you.
Posted by Irene wingfield on November 21, 2021
I am thankful for your eternal brightness, Donald. All who know you, see your light. You are so completely special to so many. No wonder Barry loved you so much. I truly thank God for bringing you into my life, Donald. I love you!!! ALWAYS!
Posted by Donald Trisdale on November 21, 2021
A candle of light represents eternal life, love, and never forgetting. Todays, Thanksgiving is special, like 9/11, ending of so many hard fought war conflicts, lost ones, and unnecessary killings, but we shall never forget any one. A day to smile, laugh, reflect, love each other, and remember what is important to us all. Barry did this his entire life, and as his spiritual soul stands with me, I ask you to love another, forgive, and always show grace. I love you deeply, and thank you for your wonderful prayers, thoughts, and memories of Barry. He triumphs the grace of love, and promises eternal life through your FAITH, LOVE, FORGIVENESS, and the many blessings you give to OTHERS. Through his everlasting love, I wish you all a healthy, caring and fun filled loving day. GOD bless you,
Posted by Donald Trisdale on October 20, 2021
Please, on behalf of Barry's memory, I thank each and everyone who takes that moment in a hectic and busy day, and thinks a thought of time ago of the word "Barry". He always lives as Jesus Christ does for us in our souls and thoughts. What a blessing and gift you give to his family, and especially me for your thought. I love you all and this gift as he does.
Posted by Evie Palicz on October 10, 2021
Dear Donald and Barry,
You both are blessed with beautiful memories of your love and life together. The stories Donald tells about your special times on God birthday are such a blessing for all to read. I yoo have fond memories of you both. Happy 75th Birthday Donald.
Posted by Irene wingfield on October 10, 2021
Dear Barry, I wish you could be in beautiful Kauai with your beloved Donald. Please continue to watch over him, Barry, as he is beloved to many of us as well. I know he feels your love everyday. May you rest in peace, Barry. I know your memory is eternal in Donald's heart...
Posted by Donald Trisdale on September 9, 2021
On the eve of my BD, I am reflecting on your everlasting gift on why you were so important to so many, including our family, friends, colleagues, and yes, even strangers. It was all about GOD' s trait of caring that was instilled within your soul. It made us feel secure, safe, and wiser. You were so surreal with how you loved and cared for us. Each day your gift paves the foundation to safely travel often a lonely journey of challenges, to navigate through life's forest to its breaking sunshine. We were so blessed that our life encountered your presence. I have your gift each day and treasure constantly. It means more in value each day I live. We learned much from you, and we draw upon this good will in our daily activities and with those we care about. For me, an ever lasting gift I recognized tonight, and its threads are the main foundation I carry forth each day. Thank you my darling. and I thank GOD for letting you share your footprint on our lives. You will always be my birthday gift, and it is honored daily. "You lift up my life". REMEMBERING YOU, September 10th.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on September 6, 2021
Letting you know my heart got the everlasting B..D. love note you wrote before you left. Though the paper is ragged with age, I unfold it each year and read the message you wrote for all birthdays to come without your presence. I treasure the message, and the strength of the message, moves me forward another year. You thought of everything. Your the first, the last, my everything.
Posted by Evie Palicz on July 31, 2021
What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful man. My sister Leolani and I were just remembering our SYD trip with you and Barry. So many wonderful memories. Barry is still with us. Bless you Donald.
Evie Palicz
Posted by Donald Trisdale on July 29, 2021
Stopping by today to let you know as I looked out over the ocean I am thinking of all the wonderful times we shared, our love, the written love letters and notes, pictures, surprises, tears of sorrow, lost of our parents and friends, the challenges we faced adopting Harlen, and of course raising a challenged individual, those moments only you and I know about, and of course those last few days of being in shock. How I still miss you. But, I know you are still near and today I deeply feel you. Love, Donald
Posted by Donald Trisdale on June 6, 2021
Missing YOU. I love you Barry.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on May 12, 2021
JUST TIME!
How selfishly I wish I could travel back in time, not just in memories, but physically. To see your smile, touch your face, and endure the best hugs I ever experienced would be an eternal gift. I know I will get there with your help and of course my faith in GOD. Tonight you are near. I love you more as time rushes by without you. I will never let you go even when I am not here. I know were you are and I am coming.
Posted by Pam Wickles on February 22, 2021
Hi Barry
Thinking of you today and how brave you were. Today my biopsy results came back and that spot on my forearm is melanoma. I promise to be pro active in my treatment and remembering your courage gives me courage.
Bob and I are doing great but praying for an end to this pandemic so we can see our friends .and family. Too much snow not enough golf!
Bob and I send lots of Love to you!
Posted by ANDRE PASCAL on February 21, 2021
Dear Donald i am so happy To sens à lettre To vote of you we miss you May god bless you we will always remember Ken love you
Andre and family
Posted by Donald Trisdale on February 14, 2021
February 14 2021
As I viewed the beautiful Valentine flowers in the stores MY THOUGHTS WERE OF YOU and how much you enjoyed GODS gift of beauty. You were so devoted to share that love gift not only on Valentines Day but everyday. I love you and so miss that part of you.
Love
Donald
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 29, 2020
I place a flower on your life today, and in your memory to represent the deep love I still feel for you hence ten years passed. My heart hurts, and my soul remains shaken of your passing. I (we) love you dearly forever. Many thanks to so many who continue to keep you in their thoughts and blessings. I am truly grateful to have such love that continues to surround us both. Sending you a wreath of eternal love BARRY.
Posted by Pam Wickles on December 29, 2020
Hi Barry
I can hardly believe it has been ten years since Donald and I held you close as you passed from this world to the next. You are truly missed.
Donald has struggled but has found a way to survive because he knows God works in mysterious ways. He knows you will meet again.
Know you are loved and thought of often.
Until we meet again.
Posted by Joe Arnold on December 29, 2020
It’s hard to believe it’s been 10 years since Barry has passed, and 23 years since I’ve seen him. The old adage, “Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.” I know this is most difficult for Donald who loves and misses Barry so much. Each day without him is like an eternity.

My heart goes out to Donald, and I pray for peace and serenity in his heart. When he finally does get to meet Barry in heaven, it will be as if no time has passed at all, and they will pick up their love, right where they left off.
Posted by Francine Martin on December 29, 2020
Hard to believe ten years have gone by since your passing, Barry. May you be resting in peace and watching over Donald and Harlan. You are missed.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 20, 2020
Christmas, a special time for us. You, helping me decorate our tree as Harlen looked on amazed of all the lights. A lot has happened this year to so many, and I am so thankful to have all the memories YOU gave us and I can wrap myself around for comfort. Your blessings continue during the darkest days, and turn our thoughts to more warm sunshine enlightenment of good. GOD BLESS YOU!. I Love you Barry always.
Posted by Francine Martin on December 12, 2020
Thinking of you at this special time of year and especially on our shared birthday today...have lots of lovely memories of time spent together...you were always so kind and generous...I hope you are resting in peace...and still looking over Donald with love.
Posted by William Horwich on December 12, 2020
On this day,let us all remember Barry Dykes.A very fine gentleman that touched many people.
Posted by Evie Palicz on December 12, 2020
Happy birthday my friend. You left us way too soon. I remember hearing about your Concord flight. We think of you often. Until we meet again.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 12, 2020
Happy 82nd Birthday. They all were so special. One of our favorite celebrations of your special day, was a surprise trip on the Concorde to Pairs for a few days. We met such wonderful people. They all fell in love with, just like be. We, (I) so fortunate to have you the years we did, and recognizing your special day as an everlasting, eternal life gift. I love you Barry, and Happy Birthday.
Posted by Helen Steers on November 30, 2020
Donald I'm thinking of you and Barry today, as I always do every day, when I look out from my kitchen window. It was such a great pleasure to be your neighbor and friends. Such wonderful times and memories to look back upon.
Always in my thoughts.
Posted by JUDITH FONG on November 29, 2020
Don, Meeting and working with him was my good luck. 

You have truly been a loyal and forever-loving husband. You and Barry were both so LUCKY to have each other. I'd like to say it's good fortune, but that's just the start. 2 people work hard to make what begins as good luck, a good life. You two had that.

So many yrs later, I still see Barry in my mind's eye. The light in his eyes, his impish smile and the sound of his voice (and accent) will always remain with me. And then there was his work--We bonded over that. In it together, paddling hard keeping the boat afloat...

I trust that from his perch in the heavens above us, he is pleased that he had such an impact upon all of us. Wish he was here.
Posted by Diane Mayer on November 26, 2020
Dear Donald, 
Thinking of you during this difficult time, as we sadly miss our loved ones. Wishing you a nice Thanksgiving.
Posted by Irwin B. Katz on November 26, 2020
Donald,

Thank you.

Wishing you and praying for Barry, you and your family to have a peaceful and safe holiday.

Irwin
Posted by Donald Trisdale on November 25, 2020
On Thanksgiving Eve 2020, I am thankful for you. You remain in my heart, and soul. Your steps on this earth are footprints of love, hope, and so many blessings for so many. As I, they remember you this season, probably more than ever because you made our life so much better when you walked with us. It’s been a most difficult year, if not 4, but you have given us the strength to endure endless hurt, pain, and lost. We (I) am so thankful how you touched us in ways we are still evolving in learning how to help others. Inspirational and everlasting gifts, by GOD and through God’s gift for you to live within us, and walk with us is a life blessings’ of THANKS.... I miss you, and always will love you for eternity. You still travel among and with us, and feel it daily. We are so blessed and thankful on this 10 year remembrance.
FOREVER, my CAPTAIN....I LOVE YOU SO...DONALD
Posted by Donald Trisdale on November 11, 2020
NOVEMBER 2020....THANKSGIVING DAY
Not sure were to begin this tribute of the most wonderful person who I walked with on this earth. Everyday, I am thankful for you. Everyday, I think of you. Everyday, I remember that smile. Everyday, I realize I was so loved. Everyday I see you. Everyday is a THANKSGIVING DAY. Does ten years make a difference? You were just here weren’t YOU? Yet, so much has happened. Harlen is now 40 years old, and I will be older than you soon. How is that possible? So many questions yet unanswered in life. You remain a beautiful mystery in my life, and how I treasure those moments of years gone by. Have they really gone by? Probably not, just sleep moments, right? You were a dream of goodness come true for me and for so many others. I can often feel even though I am not physically near them, a spiritual sense when they speak of you as if you are here. What an impact you had on so many. You touched so many lives, and I must admit none of us got enough of you. You still travel with us. I feel and see you often, and I suspect others do too. A treasured eternity gift given to us by and through our LORD. BARRY, BARRY, BARRY — THANK YOU.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on October 2, 2020
Thinking about you !
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 2, 2020


Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 31, 2019
January 01, 2020.....Thinking of you like always, but today - You know! Our day to watch those football games. You would be so proud of Clemson this year. Headed to the championship. Scott, our South Carolina friend is giving me hell wanting to know were is Bama. He always saying Barry would be so proud like I wouldn’t know. You know how I feel without Bama being there. We always had fun though - Your ACC team, and my SEC team. What crazy fun!. Missing those treasured moments. Love you, Donald
Posted by Helen Steers on December 29, 2019
I'm thinking of Donald today and his loss of you, Barry.
Donald knows that you are beside him always.
You are both in my thoughts.
God Bless.

Helen
Posted by Joe Arnold on December 28, 2019
I will remember Barry and Donald forever. They were so instrumental in my life and came into my world at a perfect time. I had just spent two grueling years on the front lines of the war against the AIDS epidemic. I was surrounded by so much death and suffering that I needed a monumental shift in my professional career.

I had the good fortune of being hosted by Donald and Barry at a gay tournament in San Francisco. They were the most gracious and loving gay couple I had ever met. The strength of their love was undeniable. It was strongest bond I had ever seen.

Because of that chance meeting, they offered me a job to work with Donald at one of the psychiatric hospitals Barry was in charge of. that launched me into a gratifying, 10 year career in the psychiatric health care sector.

I will never forget Barry’s goofy laugh and infectious, innocent smile. He was a gentle giant with a huge heart!

My heart goes out to Donald who I know suffers every moment of each waking day. Fortunately he is able to dream about Barry every night. I know this provides him some comfort as he waits for that monumental time when they are reunited in heaven.

Thank you Barry for everything you have done for The hundreds of people in your life, and of course, for me. You were truly one of a kind!

Hugs my dear friend,

Joe

Posted by Irene wingfield on December 27, 2019
Love you so much, Donald. I know your precious Barry is watching over you... you are always in my heart...
Posted by Evie Palicz on December 27, 2019
I can’t believe it has been 11 years since you left us. I think of you and Donald often. I recall with fondness our many gatherings at your beautiful homes. I know you’re watching over all of us, especially Donald and Harland. You are all so very much loved.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 26, 2019
It will be nine years December 27, 2019 when we laid together in that nursing bed, your eyes closed, and most likely I hope your hearing still possible. The nurse told me that afternoon, your breathing had worsen, and time was near. I crawled in bed with you and I talked to you like you were conscious. I knew you were passing, but I couldn’t let you quite go yet. So the night worn on, even I called for food to be delivered. As the food was being delivered, I looked at you, and saw what I hoped I would never see. You had gone with JESUS. I never said a word to Pam, and we set down and tried to eat, but Pam looked at you, and without hesitation, told me Barry is gone. She knew what I had already realized. I got back in bed with you, and I hope you heard what I said only for us to hear. It stills resonates with me even to this day, nine years later. Afterwards, you then left me and went with JESUS. In shock even I knew it was coming, and still in the same state of mind. Time stood still, and has been seen you left even though I get older every year. A big year for us both. I love you Barry, and love you more than I have ever thought possible. You, are my life and always will be. I love you so.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 24, 2019
Merry Christmas, my darling. Watching you decorating our Christmas tree the last time is a treasured memory. I often wondered why that night I did not help you; I was so mis arises by you, and now think, not knowing, or did I know I would never see you decorate a tree again. I just set their, enjoying ever moment, laughing, sharing a glass of champagne as you struggle with that tree, commenting why so a big one. When you finished it was a fifth avenue display treasure. You were so so good at this. Harlen and I enjoyed your craftsmanship of creating such beauty. Of course, I miss it even to this day. No decorations since your last creations, either than a purchased tree that I finally erected two years ago. You were so beautiful and made our home so warm. Thank you. I love you Barry for eternity. Donald Trisdale
Posted by Francine Martin on December 12, 2019
Thinking of you today, dear Barry, on our birthday...rest in peace...watch over Donald...you are missed and loved.
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Leave a Tribute

 
Recent Tributes
Posted by Helen Steers on December 29, 2021
I’m thinking of Barry and you Donald, today.
Blessings to you always.
Posted by Pam Wickles on December 29, 2021
Thinking of you and remembering the memories we share. You and Donald were a match made in heaven and such a joy to be with. Today Bob and I celebrate your life well lived! We love you!
Posted by Francine Martin on December 29, 2021
Rest in Peace, Barry. You are loved and missed each day. Watch over Donald and Harlan. And today I'm asking you to watch over my sister-in-law, Therese, in the hospital; send some of your love her way. You will always be remembered as a very special and wonderful man.
Recent stories

LOOKING THROUGH THE MIRROR

Shared by Donald Trisdale on December 24, 2021
When you were born I was not there nor born. Born in Long Beach, CA., and I in Redding, CA., faith would bring our lives together in years to come. You raised by your grandparents in South Carolina, and I near Nashville, TN by my mother, her mother and dad, uncle, and aunt. How would I lives interwind into one? That story will be told on a different day. This story is about you from the time I knew you till your passing.

Your dad, a lifetime career in the Navy, and your mother, often left alone as wives in the military are to raised their children. Often left with an uncle and aunt due to your dad being relocated by the Navy. A most difficult hardship that many endure to this day. Our lives parallel in many ways. I, lived with my grandparents because my mother, a single mother worked.You and I both so loved by our parents, yet yours could never accept you unless you did what made them feel proud. Mine, always wanted me to be happy. You strived your entire life to be what your parents desired. You were successful in your achievements, and they rejoiced in your success. Their plans for you were to be a successful and accomplishment lifetime Navy Officer, marry and have children. But, you came to reality and at a crossroad and left the Navy. With your Dad’s assistance, the state of Tennessee provided resources for you to attend George Washington University where you obtained a Master’s degree in Hospital Administration.  Afterwards, you were appointed hospital administrator for Tennessee Eastern State Hospital, a mental health long term care institution near Knoxville, TN.  After meeting your obligation to the TN Department of Mental Health, you secured a position with the TN Hospital Association in Nashville, TN. During this period you came to realization you were gay, and started relationships with men both as friends and sometimes romantic. On one occasion, both you and Donald were invited by a mutual friend to a Christmas party. Neither of you attended, but both of you later that evening just happened to visit the same Nashville nightclub, and were introduced to each other by the mutual friend. Immediately, both were attracted to each other and bonded like “love at first sight”. That night was magical for you both, and it was the beginning of our life journey together.

Denied love by your mom for who you were, you marched forward with your life and all the challenges of family acceptance, professional life, self acceptance being gay and living a life as a married man. Never being accepted by your parents for being gay, the strain caused great emotional stress and often no relationship with your parents. The hurt was continuous, sparkling out of control at times, and finally to the point of no communication with you mother. The damaged relationship ended unrepairable, and your heart was deeply hurt to the end. 

Your journey continued with Donald for forty two years, and ended with in Donald’s arm that December 29th night 2010. Both of you were fortunate to adopt Harlen, and you had your family so desired. You always maintained such dignity, love, and grace for all. Admired and loved by many, and dearly loved by Donald and Harlen. You are so missed and loved eleven years since your passing. The forty two years was a blink of an eye, and the laughter, love, can still be heard and felt today. An everlasting love and journey.


BIRTHDAYS

Shared by Donald Trisdale on October 10, 2021
Once upon a time, not far ago, a very handsome prince, son, husband, father, naval officer, hospital executive, and friend to so many walked into my life on his special day, his thirty-eighth birthday.  This special person was Ken B. Dyches and I was fortunate to share him with so many for 39 years.  Fortunately, we would share his last birthday, 72nd, together in a hospital before his passing. A few nights ago, I celebrated my 75th BD, and though I struggled to be happy and thanked our Lord for this blessing, I found more happiness thinking and feeling Barry's presence and reflecting on all the blessings of celebrating so many birthdays together. What a glorious and treasured birthday gift I found. My heart radiant with warmth and joy. I could share many birthday stories of love, happiness and experiences, but another time when I see you and we walk and talk together remembering who we loved dearly. Barry, however, was the most sincere and caring individual you would ever meet, and one gift he gave of himself not only on birthdays was the gift of writing some of the most inspirational cards for all occasions. Birthdays were not exceptions. They would often bring what I would come to call "happy tears". They were so heart felt, you felt an angel wrote the words GOD had spoken. Barry was a special envoy for expression of words. A truly gift from GOD, and only an angel could speak. I choose to read all those special gifts/blessings ever received from Barry on my 75th special day. More boxes of hand written cards than I imagined. I supported myself that evening with a few glasses(probably bottles) of wine. Never did I think I would have such a gigantic gift without him. I realized with these he was here and I wasn't alone. I know your cards you received are special to you and you must imagine how my heart felt and the blessings we enjoy because of his gift. How exciting to have an ever lasting gift not only for a birthday but for each day. As Barry would want me to say, love each day and each other as if it is the first. He loved you, and I know you miss him, but he is always here in our hearts and most of all his "words". I, and I know you love Barry Dyches.

BIRTHDAY STORY AT 60 YEARS

Shared by Donald Trisdale on December 12, 2020
We flew to Pairs on the French Concorde in the dead of winter to celebrate your special day. Those days were so joyous, but on the night of your birthday, our group hosted a back tie and formal dinner and party in The Crillion Hotel. So magical, and entertaining till way after the midnight hour. On this night we danced to wonderful big band tunes played by a live band.

But. the story is of YOU, when you chose to ask the hand of a wonderful and beautiful 90 year old lady. She was so delighted and admired you so, but who didn't. Most of us all sit down at our tables to enjoy the dance you were about to engage in with such an elegant dress woman.

You two had the eyes of all one hundred guest on you two. Yes, you two stole the night, and how exciting it was, but at the end of the dance you did something I never expected, and most likely others. You took her tightly toward you, and as the music ended, you gently dipped her like a pro and as you positioned her back upright, your feet got tangle, and both of you fell to the floor with you landing on top of this absolutely loving lady.

We all gasp, hoping she was not hurt, and you being the gentleman you are, you attempted to pull her to her feet, and then quicker than the eye can blink, she pulled you back down on her, and everyone laughed so hard. We realized she was not injured, and after getting you both up off the floor, she announced to the entire room of guest,  "that was the best lay she had in thirty years", and gave you a sweet kiss on your cheek. What an evening????

The next day we saw her, and she said to you, should we do it again?  So many memories to reflect about on your SPECIAL DAY....