ForeverMissed
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 This memorial website is created by Donald Trisdale, his husband, in memory of our beloved:

KEN BARRY DYCHES
Barry passed into eternity on December 29, 2010, after a courageous battle with terminal brain cancer known as melanoma. Barry celebrated his 72nd birthday on December 12, 2010. His passing shocked many and left our world with one less loving, caring and loyal individual. His footprint remains in our hearts. We shall remember him FOREVER. 


All memorial tributes are deeply appreciated and can be individually created BELOW these stated red guidelines.
1. "ALL GUEST / MEMBERS CAN CREATE A MEMORIAL TRIBUTE.

2. SCROLL DOWN BELOW ALL OF THE "REMEMBERED DATES" AND CLICK ON "CREATE A TRIBUTE."

3. "REMEMBERED DATES" ARE ONLY CREATED BY THE ADMINISTRATOR OF THE WEBSITE.

4. TRIBUTES CAN BE CREATED BY ALL GUEST


Guests/members: Click on the tab "STORIES" located above and add a
 personal story.

Photos are permitted to be added ONLY if they contain a picture with BARRY. Exceptions for pictures of flowers are permitted. Barry loved flowers. Your understanding is deeply appreciated.

Add photos by clicking on the TAB "GALLERY" OR "ADD PHOTOS" on the right side of the page.

                                                "REMEMBERED DATES"

70. REMEMBERED FRIDAY, DECEMBER 29, 2023.  Read our favorite verse this morning, walked the beach in glory with GOD and you, looking out over the ocean knowing you are there, here and everywhere I go. Another year moves us to this day, December 29th that we recognize the day you passed into the loving GRACE OF GOD’S ARMS. You are missed unbelievably not only by me but many, but we are all blessed to know you are now in the LORD’S glory. Truly a blessing we carry in our hearts and souls each day of the year. A light is always on for your presence. 

69.  REMEMBERED MONDAY, DECEMBER 25,2023Knowing you live within us everyday of the year; a gift given to us by the birth of Jesus Christ.
 
68.  REMEMBERED TUESDAY, DECEMBER 12THAn 85th birthday of joy. We celebrated many together. You were always shy about your birthday, but I so enjoyed giving you cards and finding that special gifts or trips to celebrate your B.D.  You always loved everything received and were so grateful. The dinners shared and surprise trips taken were awesome.  Your favorite was the Concorde to Paris celebrating your 60th B.D.  Difficult to imagine 13 more years passed since the last B.D. we shared together, but time is relative and almost like sand in a bottle. It flows quickly. I love each and every day of the year being with you, but on your special day, I am so thankful to our Lord that you came into the world, where our life's fused together, and we shared a loving life. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAPTAIN, my Barry. 

67. REMEMBERED, SUNDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2023. Reflecting today is our 55th wedding anniversary. Thirteen years past since our last celebration together. I miss those times, the smiles and laughter, and the sharing of loving moments. Memories are eternal treasures. 

66. REMEMBERED Saturday, November 5, 2023.  I wondered this evening and you were there in my mind and I wanted you to let you know you are in my thoughts and heart. Yes, still miss you unbelievably because of how much you loved me and how much I loved you.

65.  REMEMBERED Thursday, December 29th, 2022. Christ's ascension into heaven on the 3rd day after his death; I know you are with him. Remembering your passing 12 years today as the Lord welcomed you into eternity life.

64. MERRY CHRISTMAS MY LOVE. DECEMBER 24, 2022

63.  A Birthday to be Remembered:
............................, DECEMBER 12, 1938 on December 12, 2022
.

62. REMEMBERED, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2022.  Our anniversary -  46..........

61. REMEMBERED THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 2022
I am so thankful for your love, companionship, friendship, and our marriage with the wonderful memories of your life.

60. REMEMBERED MONDAY, JULY 2022

YOU, are always and forever my Sunshine, the light of my life.

59. REMEMBERED MONDAY, FEBRUARY 2022

Always be my Valentine, FOREVER!

58. REMEMBERED WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 29, 2021
GOD gave us a special soul who walked the earth with purpose and always with grace.

57. REMEMBERED SUNDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2021
The day represents the day of your birth. We, (I), miss you and the celebrations we shared on your special day. Today, I give thanks to your life and all the memories you gave me and to others. We were so blessed to have your footprint on our hearts.
 
56. REMEMBERED FRIDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2021
The Present, Past, and Future. The years we SHARED. Now, on this day and date-45 years

55. REMEMBERED THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 2021
Thanksgiving Day.
We have so much to give thanks too this year. Yes, we did lose so many, but please join me in knowing they are everlasting life and with others we have loved, cherish, and honored each day in our memories. Your love is everlasting, and lets march forward, knowing they hold our hand wishing us a wonderful day. You are loved! How do I know this? God told me so! I love you all, and know your heart hurts. Turn inward and toward your gift of love and forgiving, and all will be well. Barry touched my hand in those last moments, opened his eyes, grinned somehow, and whispered “I love you”. He walked with GOD’s angels.

54.  REMEMBERED MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 2021
.
The last few days I wandered along our path, holding your hand to reduce the fright of being without you. Your strong hand in mine chased my demons far. You never knew how your strength saved me and others. Soon, I will have traveled 75 years; 11 years without your hand holding me near so I don’t fall off life’s cliff into the deep blue sea of eternal life. Because you loved me, never did you let go of my hand. Now, I remain walking in life’s forest with my hand always trying to put my hand back into yours. Almost eleven years passed struggling, yearning to clasp your hand of strength. So strong it was, the power of your hand continues to give me strength to struggle forward, knowing I will catch up with you soon, and once again grasp your hand again - in your care. I love you and miss you even greater as the years pass more than I ever thought was possible.


53. REMEMBERED TUESDAY, MAY 11 2021.
Some days are more filled with your words, and today you had so many words. Not only did I hear you, I felt your presence as I watched over and beyond the ocean. Why are some days so surreal and personal? I love those days. You and me.

52.  REMEMBERED SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2021.
To read this remembrance SCROLL down to TRIBUTES.


51. REMEMBERED, TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF PASSING, DECEMBER 29 2010 
Today, return thoughts and the reality of your suffering in those last minutes until your eternal life. Though many have more pleasant life memories of you as I do, this day seems to never fade those horrific moments of seeing you passing. Our friend Pam held my hand as we both watched in disbelief this was happening. My heart remains in this felt pain but I fight each day for remembering you are no longer in pain, and doing GOD's work. I love you even more if that is possible, and hold on tight to the extraordinary memories knowing and being so grateful for the love you gave me and the friendship embraced to others.

50. REMEMBERED, CHRISTMAS, DECEMBER 25, 2020
Dearly missed, and loved. Ten years made of so many days of reflection of your love, and the times we spent with each other. Not only I, but so many hearts you touched, and still do.

49. REMEMBERED, BIRTHDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2020.
SUCH A DAY OF MEMORIES. TODAY, WOULD BE YOUR 82nd BIRTHDAY. YOU WERE ALWAYS SHY OF ATTENTION, BUT SO WORTHY OF ALL. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU DEEPLY. MAY THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT BE YOUR THIS SPECIAL DAY, AND IN DAYS / YEARS TO COME
LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GENEROSITY, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, AND SELF-CONTROL ARE WORDS I SPIRITUALLY THINK OF WHEN I FEEL AND REFLECT MY LOVE OF YOU.

48,  REMEMBERED OUR ANNIVERSARY DECEMBER 10, 2020
EACH DAY IS LIKE AN ANNIVERSARY, KNOWING YOUR LOVE, RESPECT, AND CARING WAYS. YET, TRADITION ONLY CELEBRATES IT ONCE A YEAR. THIS YEAR, TEN YEARS SINCE I SAW THAT HUMAN SMILE, THOUGH I SEE IT OFTEN IN DIFFERENT VENUES. THIS DAY IS CELEBRATED IN A SPIRITUAL EVERLASTING LOVE REPRESENTING 52 YEARS OF KNOWING AN ANGEL ON EARTH. FOR ME, IT WAS A MIRACLE I GOT TO WALK WITH YOU AS LONG AS I DID. i MISS THAT GIFT I WAS GIVEN EVER SO MORE!

47. REMEMBERED THANKSGIVING DAY, 2020...TEN YEARS AGO.
 OUR LAST THANKSGIVING WITH YOU IN OUR HOSPITAL ROOM/HOME...LITTLE DID WE KNOW IT WOULD BE OUR LAST THOUGH WE KNEW IT WAS EXTREMELY SPECIAL - YOU, HARLEN AND ME, AND YOUR ANGELS. A HUNDRED YEARS WILL PASS, I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER OUR LOVE AND BE SO THANKFUL. WE WERE SO BLESSED BY GOD

 46, REMEMBERED SUNDAY, APRIL 12, 2020, EASTER SUNDAY

45. REMEMBERED FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2020. HAPPY VALENTRINES DAY.

44. REMEMBERED WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 01,2020.....

Begin another year; 10 years without you December 29, 2020! Unbelievable!

43. REMEMBERED THURSDAY, DECEMBER 27, 2019.
I am so saddened and sorry for the pain you experienced for me. Nine years later, I feel you, touch you, and enjoy all the memories you created for us. I love you Barry.

42. REMEMBERED WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 25, 2019. CHRISTMAS EVE AND DAY.
Christmas Eve, Christmas Day.....Yes, I love you and yes it is a difficult time even after nine years. The church activities, parties, and sharing time with so many people we enjoyed over the years are such glorious Christmas gifts. Yet, the loneliness and sorrow I feel is helplines and weak as I move to the glorious day without you. Holding your hand in Church, and praying together, and saying to each other “I love You”, hearing that voice of security, warmth, and never ending love is breath taking even after nine years of not hearing your words.

41. REMEMBERED THURSDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2019. ARE YOU REALLY 81?

TODAY, came so quickly, another year. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Alone, yet surrounded by so many loved ones who knew us.  I know we are both here together, where we would have been by now with each other on our island settling back and enjoying the “good life.” I got us here this year. We are all here now — Listening to a song that came out a few years ago, entitled, “ Pontoon “ by Little Big Town; a song made for us drinking a few beers on a special day. Barry, I love you so much, and after 9 years, I can hardly stand it still not being with you, especially on this day. I am trying so hard to accept our faith that life is an eternity, but it is a challenge. I just want to be with you. Life is nothing anymore without you. I promised you I would go on, but I have failed that promise. I am still so mad, and miserable with life without you. Sorry, sweetie. I will keep working on it. Today is a special day and I am so thankful I was a part of your life and so loved by you..  Of course, playing our song tonight, “Sea of Love”.  How much do I love you? More than my life or any measurement of life. My heart is so full tonight. Does anyone understand except YOU?  LOVING YOU FOR ETERNITY! ... We are at home, you, the babies and me, and even J.C. You know were I am and you are with me. This will be our final resting place on this beautiful earth GOD gave to us. Took me nine years to get us here, but I never gave up, struggled, prayed a lot for help, and kept focused. We are now home on earth, and we will both be home for eternity in the future.

40.  REMEMBERED TUESDAY, DECEMBER 10TH 2019
We would have celebrated our 43rd anniversary, on December 10th 2019. In some ways, it has been a long nine years since we celebrated the moment/day we joined our lives together. It wasn’t enough time to enjoy our togetherness. I miss you so deeply. Still trying to understand the whys’ and what ifs’, but continue to come back to the reality that I won’t see you till we are united in God's house and then it will be for eternity. So my faith will get me back to you and that is all that matters. I love you, miss you, and always thinking about YOU!
u
always, especially on this special day, DEC 10, 2019. Happy Anniversary!

39.
REMEMBERED THURS, NOVEMBER 28, 2019.
A blessing so many happy full days together giving thanks and being grateful for the love we shared. I will never stop loving you and missing your love.

38. REMEMBERED MAY MEMORIAL DAY MAY 27 2019.
SEE STORIES WHY BARRY IS REMEMBERED ON MEMORIAL DAY - HIS DEVOTION AND SERVICE CAUSED HIS DEATH.


37. REMEMBERED MAY 10, 2019 .........
MEMORY TONIGHT -A SPIRITUAL FEELING.  Tonight, is not a special night for most, but some spirituals swirling about within me, and feeling your presence.  More intense tonight than usual, and this spiritual feeling woke me. Are you near? I feel your presence - all day actually. Ended up becoming extremely emotional tonight. Maybe because after nine years, I opened a bottle of red wine we won at a NASCAR Jeff Gordon Auction. Some time ago in the moves after your new journey I broke one of Jeff Gordon’s red wine glasses. Kept the broken one, and it sits next to yours, and I used your glass. The corks are becoming dry, plus I just for some reason wanted to have a glass of red wine - a stirring of feelings for you! You are here tonight. Listening to music, and for some reason, many of our songs are playing. The music is streaming wi-fi songs that are played randomly. Guess you are playing, because one after another are all the songs we listened to as you drove me to work, as we drove watching the world pass by our car windows. A very powerful spiritual evening. Thank you my darling angel Barry. I love you and miss you so and very deeply.

.36. REMEMBERED FEBRUARY 14 2019. 
Thinking of our wonderful Valentine memories of years past. Each were so special. I love you and always will. You are forever my Captain Valentine.”

35.  REMEMBERED DECEMBER 29, 2018  
Though I live with this empty feeling every day, it is more prominent today. In 2023 on this day, 8 years ago you entered eternal life. I would get in bed with you, and kiss a final goodbye. I would play that moment in my mind forever. As our dear enduring friend, Pam stood and witnessed this passing, catching me afterward, hugging me, and then she said a final goodbye as well. Then she left the room to fetch the nurses. We had our last final moment together, but not so fast - we have so many more dreams, and moments I knew you created.. This all plays out in my mind constantly. I love you so Barry. You are so missed my darling.

34, REMEMBERED DECEMBER 25, 2018 
Christmas 2018. Thinking of you and where we were eight years ago. Time growing short as WE (PAM AND I) watched you sleep peacefully (breathing heavenly) in the hospital bed. You had gone to sleep a few days earlier, and sharing with me it was time for me to make the decisions. You closed your eyes and you never spoke again. A moment in time I shall take with me forever. I knew what you meant, and as I looked at you indefinitely, and I thought.....well, I will keep that to myself, since you already know.  I am sure you heared me tell you continuously I will always love you forever, and I do.  Enduring moments, and I hope you heard Pam and I talking till the end. You are and will always be my super hero, and the best Christmas present I ever received in my life. "GOD BLESS YOU BARRY" and I LOVE YOU MORE THAN EVER.

 33. REMEMBERED DECEMBER 12, 2018. 
Happy Birthday!
Today, your 80th birthday, some eight years since your journey after life started. How is this possible? It is so unreal/surreal, and I have such difficulty understanding you are not here. I miss you so deeply, the pain became a numbness. Today, you are so on my mind, not much difference from any other day of the year, but today, I get to dream you were born, and came into my life for us to be one. A glorious gift given by you to me on your birthday. Barry, there is only one like you, and I was so fortunate to be married to you. You gave the gift of life, "your love". and my dearest human being. When you were alive, I could never express how deeply I loved you and appreciated who you were....still words limit my expression and lost of this gift. You were/are the best person in my life that has walked on the earth I live. I pray every day on this earth, I will walk beside you once again. I know you are here. I watch for you, and hear you with those pennies, and dimes you drop for me to find. Oh sweetie, I love you so. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

32. REMEMERED DECEMBER 10 2018. 
Our anniversary would have been today, December 10th, 2 days before your birthday. Both dates are difficult times, but always remembered. I love you so much, and miss you more today than those first days you had to say good-bye. I use this day, like many trying to think of our good times, but being weak, slip often back to moments in the hospital and how sick you were. Barry, I know you visit alot, and I truly feel your presence; I love you being near when you can. Never stop being around. I need you more than ever. Only one request, please be there when it is time and reach out for my hand. I love you forever, forever, and forever. Today, our 44th anniversary and I am still here without YOU!. Unbelievable.

31. REMEMBERED NOVEMBER 22 2018.
You are always here and remembered. As we start another holiday season, my love for you is stronger than ever before. I reflect over so many wonderful holidays, and think how fortunate to share so many. Hearing your voice and seeing the smiles you shared with the world brings the reality you walked with us for years. Often I reach out and touch your face just to waken and realize it was a dream, but I am so blessed to dream of a past reality.

30. REMEMBRED SEPTEMBER 10 2018 
Today, I am 72. My day is filled with memories of being with you, sharing you with no one on previous birthdays. You always took the day off, and you would prepare a lovely breakfast, and we would watch together my favorite movie "The Way We Were", starring Robert Redford. Afterwards, a very busy day ahead full of surprises. Always, we ended with a fabulous romantic dinner, and most of the time attending a play, symphony concert, or a movie holding hands. I missed you, and our together times, laughter, and most of all just looking at you with such pride. I can't help to think today though, when you turned 72, on December 12, you only had 17 days left, and we could only share it together with you lying in bed so sick.  At that time time, we did not know why this had happened so quickly, nor why. But, since then, I have found out, that you gave your life for our country being exposed to Agent Orange while in the service. All the ships you were assigned too were exposed to Agent Orange during the Vietnam Crisis/War. A substance many years later recognized by our government exposure meant most often cancer that was terminal. It was for you like so many and so early for the man I loved so much. Thank you for those nine years of Navy Service, and for giving the ultimate, your life. I am and so many so indebted to your sacrifice, and my loss. I love you Liteunant Commander, and miss you every day, but today is extra difficult.

29. REMEMBERED APRIL 1, 2018.
Celebrated Harlen's 38th B.D. We shared memories of past birthdays when you were here.

28. REMEMBERED FEBRUARY 14, 2018.
 You are always my Valentine as you have always known. Using this day to remember your thoughtfulness and the love you shared with me not only on this day but each day of our lives together. We truly embraced a living, real fairy tale of respectful love for the days we endured together. Thank you. You gave me a lifetime gift. An everlasting Happy Valentine memory, my darling Captain.


27. REMEMBERED DECEMBER 29, 2017.
Seven years ago, along with Pam, I watched you leave and I shall never forget that moment as I said goodbye to the love of my life. Life without you is unexplainable. I quit trying to understand it because I just miss you so much. Nothing is right. I love you.
26. REMEMBERED DECEMBER 12, 2017.
Today we celebrate Barry's 79th birthday. Seven years have passed since entering the eternity gates. I miss you more than ever as everyone who you touched in life. A true giant void in the universe was created by your passing, but we shall always remember the gift of your birth that was created on this day. We all wish today we could have spent more time with you, but always cherish the moments we endured within your present. May your angel wings spread love and joy to more. You were a true blessing and for me an angel who walked among us.

25.REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 10, 2017. 
We would celebrate our 45th ANNIVERSARY ON THIS DAY. You are here with me tonight like so many evenings. I feel you.

24. REMEMBERED: NOVEMBER 23, 2017
  
THANKSGIVING DAY. The days before and the days after ALWAYS.

23.REMEMBERED:
 4 JULY 201723. REMEMBERED: JUNE 18, 2017:
 
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, BARRY.I love you so and miss you.

22. REMEMBERED
: February 14, 2017
Another Valentines year without you. I did not write on this year's valentine day because it was more painful than ever. It has taken me until today to write to you, plus a song, plus you visiting me today. Even some TV technicians said there are spirits in the house. Of course, I know it's you. I just smiled and said you are okay. "He wants to make sure you are not going to hurt me." It was not a good year, but they are never are even great things do happen. I just miss the love of my life, and my life is no life without you. You are always my Valentine each day. A day does not go by without you being my first and last thought. Your love still touches me as it always will till I can no longer touch your love, and then I will be with you again. Thank you for your eternal love Barry.

21. REMEMBERED: FEBRUARY 14, 
2016
VALENTINES DAY...Five years after receiving a wonderful and loving messages of your love. You were the most wonderful writer of special love messages. Thank you, and I miss them so dearly. I have one of the first photographs you and I have together, and what a wonderful Valentine's gift. We can thank Francine for this great gift.

20
. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 29, 2016
SIX YEARS (DECEMBER 29, 2010 @ 8:28 PM) since we said our FINAL goodbye to each other. A difficult day, because of remembering how ill and how much pain you ended life. I tried everything to keep your pain away. I am so sorry and miss you each day of the year. 

19. REMEMBERED CHRISTMAS 2016.....
DEC 12, 2016  Birthday....
Loving you always, and forever!. You are the first, the last, and my everything.

18. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 10, 2016 - ANNIVERSARY...
As our song tells us, "You're my first, my last, my everything. The only one like you, there could not be another like you." I love you. Where did the time go for us? Missing you more than ever, and our tradition of having breakfast at the Bel-Air Hotel to kick off our special day. Remembering the anniversary that morning at the Bel-Air when we met our favorite actress Meryl Streep. She hugged us both! 

17. REMEMBERED:
 
THANKSGIVING DAY 24, 2016
Tis the season again, and difficult times of the year without you. It is coming up six years Dec.29, 2016, since I last saw you; of course, I see you each day in my memories and talk to you daily. I miss you and am so lonely without you! It is not a real life without you. I travel often, but the reality wherever I go is without you, and knowing that makes it so sad. Still, in disbelief, you are gone.

16. REMEMBERED: SEPTEMBER 10,2016
My birthday. ON A GREECE TRIP PROMISED TO TAKE ME ON. I DID IT.

15. REMEMBERED January 19, 2016
.
-Misty, our beloved BOSTON TERRIER, the LOVE OF OUR family passed at the age of 10.

14. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 14, 2015
Your still my loving and FOREVER VALENTINE.

13. REMEMBERED: SEPTEMBER 10, 2015.

12. REMEMBERED: NOVEMBER 26, 2015
ANOTHER THANKSGIVING DAY WITHOUT YOU...Found OUR SONG: "SEA OF LOVE"...How many times did we think of these words when I was at Berkeley and you in Nashville - separated by distance? We both thought the week would never end till one of us flew toward each other. We purchased American Airlines those three months.

11. REMEMBERED: December 10, 2015
42nd anniversary. Our birth...Its been five years, and I am still in shock without you, sometimes not believing you're gone, and other times realizing reality. Guess you know how much I miss you; of course, the hardest day is near, your birthday. But, today, it was our day, and we had so many special memories of this day. Never forget the morning of our 35th anniversary when we had a loving morning at the Bell-Air Hotel, relaxing outside having the most extravagant breakfast one could think of eating; setting in our round booth overlooking the beautiful swans in the pond, and then looking around to see one of our most famous movie stars, Meryl Streep, who looked up at us, hosted a glass and toasted to us. Our waiter who we had known for years, had shared with her we were celebrating our anniversary. She sent us a note, telling us congratulations. What a morning - a never unforgettable moment absolutely loving, a celebration day. Thank you, darling. I love you then, now, and forever. Thank you for everything, but most of all,  your unconditional love for our entire life together.Your Sport, Donald.

10.
REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 12, 2015
Anniversary. LOVE YOU, CAPTAIN. 

9.REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 24, 2015
My best gift ever was YOU!  Have fantasies of the door opening and there you are standing with your loving smile, and telling me, " I'M HOME!

7.REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 29
2015 - MEMORIES:
FIVE YEARS WITHOUT YOU...Like yesterday in so many ways. Where are the days, I KNOW NOT. Each day I watch for you with the flag, the hummingbirds, and often feel your presence. In MY HEART I know you are near. I love you for eternity.

6. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 14,2015
Your still my loving and FOREVER VALENTINE.

5. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 29, 201
4
4 yrs now passed. Sad memory!

4. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 12,2013
Another year, again, thinking of you the day you were born. Love YOU ever so much!

3. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 12, 2012
As long as I live without YOU.........I love you, Barry...Thinking of you the day you were born.

2. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 12,2011
Where does the year go? Thinking of you on the day born.

1. REMEMBERED: JAN 1, 2011.
Started a new year without you. I can't stand it.

December 24, 2023
December 24, 2023
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF OUR LOVING FRIENDS AND FAMILY who honor Barry in their remembrance of his life. Your love, and continued words of support is truly a blessing. As when Barry was with us, he always deeply appreciated and welcomed all your blessings. He was truly blessed because of your caring ways. A truly living eternal gift.

Love, Donald
Monday, December 25, 2023
December 12, 2023
December 12, 2023
Happy Birthday Barry!
Celebrate with joy and love knowing we are celebrating with you. Donald and I will share your Birthday toast on our beloved Queen Mary II in January.
Thank you so much for sharing Donald with me. You are such a kind and generous spirit and I miss you.
Love,
Pam
December 29, 2023
December 29, 2023
To my dear friend Ken you where a lovely person I will never forget your kindness we Chloe Ilse and I will never forget you also Donald may god bless is heart for feeling is life with out you
December 29, 2023
December 29, 2023
A day doesn’t past that your presence isn’t near, but today thirteen years ago, GOD took your soul into eternal peace and forever love where pain and hurt is no more. We miss you so, but our hearts are glorified by GOD’s gift of peace and protection of everlasting love. We remember this day in your honor of walking with us before your journey with GOD.
December 29, 2023
December 29, 2023
Oh Donald, I’m so sorry. This must be a terribly hard day for you. I know that Barry is always with you and that you can feel his love surrounding you. Still… I know how terribly you miss him. Please feel the love and hug I am sending you. I love you, Donald…
December 29, 2023
December 29, 2023
Thinking of you, Barry, this month, for our shared birthdays. I hope you are resting in peace and watching over your dear Donald. It was a joy to know you and a blessing to have you as a friend.
December 29, 2023
December 29, 2023
Dear Barry:
Bob and I think of you often. We remember how kind you were.
You are loved,
Bob and Bonny
December 25, 2023
December 25, 2023
Dearest Donald and Beloved Angel Barry,

Luke 2:11”Today in the town of David a Savior is born to you; he is the Messiah,the Lord.”

Merry Christmas. Barry, what a glorious Christmas it must be to celebrate with Jesus. But we wish you were here to celebrate with us. We miss you. Donald my friend, we wish you Mele Kalimahana. Hope we can see you in 2024.

Hau Ole Makahiki Hou.

Evie and Richard
December 12, 2023
December 12, 2023
Happy Heavenly birthday, Barry! Please continue to watch over your precious Donald…. ❤️❤️
December 12, 2023
December 12, 2023
REMEMBERING YOU ON YOUR SPECIAL DAY, TUESDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2023.
... You are always in my thoughts, but today even more. A candle is lit to honor the love and blessings of your life and to recognize the importance of your years. Though you past almost thirteen years ago, we still love our memories of you and the wonderful gifts you gave to us while on earth. You are honored for all the blessings you brought to us and your sacrifices given to others and to our country. Now, you rest in peace and are in the hands of our Lord, JESUS CHRIST. I love you dearly, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY BARRY, MY CAPTAIN.
Donald
December 10, 2023
December 10, 2023
My darling Donald, I am not worthy of your kind words, but I cherish them—and you. I wish you were here right now. You are so very loved, by so many! Never, ever forget that!! LOVE FOREVER!!!
December 9, 2023
December 9, 2023
Oh my darling Donald,

No one in the world has the ability to warm my
heart. The way you describe me is EXACTLY what I see in you!

I would give ANYTHING to hug you right now, but I guess I’ll have to be satisfied with sending all my love and hugs long distance. Mele Kalikmaka—and all my love!

Always yours,
Irene
December 8, 2023
December 8, 2023
Happy Anniversary to you and Barry, Donald. You two had a love story for the ages. Still loving in eternity. I know Barry is watching over you with love, always. I love you too, with all my heart, always…
December 7, 2023
December 7, 2023
REFLECTION OF AN ANNIVERSARY -2023 DECEMBER 10

How do I love thee?

With all my heart and soul. I miss you, your hugs, smiles, stories, and your beautiful handwritten personal loving cards. Habitually, I often read all of my saved written cards you created to enjoy moments of years gone by. Thank you for such loving enriched emotions of love.
DONALD
November 5, 2023
November 5, 2023
I am honored that you believe I was chosen by Barry to be in the circle of your love and friendship, my precious Donald. I love you too—ALWAYS!!! ❤️❤️❤️
September 9, 2023
September 9, 2023
You, Barry, and your love was the best and greatest gift I ever received. On the eve of my 77th birthday, I still remember the moment you told me, "I love you, Donald". The everlasting blessing flows through my soul and heart this evening as it did the first time. You were everything and your gifts filled the hearts of so many to this day. I know in my heart, as so many see that gift of your care given unconditionally. I carry your sacred gift as given to me on the first time. Always will, flowing throw my heart with your unconditioned love. What an unbelievable gift GOD gave us and to always remember. Thank YOU!
May 14, 2023
May 14, 2023
Tu Me Manques... I Miss You

Translation: I miss the part of you in me!

Forever Missed!
Sport
March 17, 2023
March 17, 2023
I love YOU! Miss YOU.
My heart drums for you. You were everything. You are everything! You are there for me.!
February 3, 2023
February 3, 2023
Stopping by tonight as we get closer to Valentine's Day 2023. You created Valentine's Day each day of your life. The love, smiles, hugs, flowers, and generosity you gave each day created a spirit of Valentine's Day daily. I, we, never had to wait for that one special day, you gave it to us daily. The gift was unimaginable, and it came from God's heart. You were such a wonderful messenger for GOD. Your message continues daily. The blessing of your LOVE remains today and in my heart till it is redeemed again in your presence.
December 29, 2022
December 29, 2022
I can’t believe it’s been 12 years that Barry has been gone. I know he is waiting patiently in heaven for Donald but is hoping he’s enjoying life as much as possible until he joins him.
God Bless Donald,
Joe
December 28, 2022
December 28, 2022
December 29, 2022.
Your wink, laughter, smiles, those awesome beautiful deep blue eyes, and your giving nature is never forgotten. Your brought so much joy to so many and we will never forget the love you gave to us. I see you still sweeping the curb in front of the house after work and always stopping to speak with neighbors and strangers. You had such a gift of sharing and making us feel so good about ourselves. We, ( I ), love you so, and always will. Your life is an unbelievable blessing. REMEMBRANCE OF YOUR PASSING, DECEMBER 29TH, 2010
December 25, 2022
December 25, 2022
Merry Christmas Donald and Barry. Our God is so good and always in control of everything. He brings us grace and blessings when we least expect it and most need it.

Richard and I send our love to you Donald and wish you God’s rich blessings in 2023. We love you.
December 24, 2022
December 24, 2022
Tonight I travel to church again alone, but in my heart and soul you are there with me. I love you so, and thankful for all the blessings you continue to give to me and others. We are so thankful for your life, and know you are at peace with our Lord, Jesus Christ. As I travel this journey without you, I know you are near holding my hand, always with words of wisdom, and more love than I could ever imagine in many lifetimes. Thank you for that present and the light of life. Thank you GOD FOR MY BARRY!
December 18, 2022
December 18, 2022
Happy Belated Birthday Barry. Thinking of you and your beloved Donald brings back such sweet memories. You are loved and missed.
December 13, 2022
December 13, 2022
Happy Heavenly Birthday, dear Barry! Your beautiful soulmate here on earth, your beloved Donald, and those of us who knew you both, send messages of remembrance and love…
December 12, 2022
December 12, 2022
Happy, Happy Birthday in Heaven, Barry. At this time of year, especially on our shared special day, I think of you often. You are loved and missed. Watch over all who loved you, especially Donald.
December 12, 2022
December 12, 2022
Hi Barry
I woke up this morning thinking of you. I was sitting in your hospital room that Donald had decorated with your favorite photos to make it feel like home. Music was gently playing. He was standing by your bed swabbing your mouth and gently combing you hair. I felt so privileged to witness such a profound love.
Loving and missing you,
Pam


December 12, 2022
December 12, 2022
BARRY,
You are never forgotten. Happy Birthday, sweetheart! I love you so much and miss you. Life has become so different without sharing it with you.

Forever Missed,
Love, Donald
12-12-2022
December 1, 2022
December 1, 2022
I think of you and Barry every day as I look out of my kitchen window to your back yard, when you and Barry lived behind us on Grand Avenue in Piedmont.
Jim and I had such good times with both of you and I miss you .
Much love to you Donald.

November 29, 2022
November 29, 2022
I am truly amazed and touch by the love that you and Donald shared, Barry. I know you will always live in his heart...
November 28, 2022
November 28, 2022
As we enter the holiday season, memories flourish of the past as they were recent, yet my heart aged with twelve years since your passing. Less sure about everything than the day you died, however, forever assured how I loved you still to this day. Brings, joy, happiness, and a wonderful warm smile in my soul. Forever, grateful to our Lord for the gift of you and the beautiful and joyous times we shared. There is no other greater gift in my life I received than YOU!. Thank you, Love Donald
November 23, 2022
November 23, 2022
The prayer you recited for us.....

Thank you, Lord, for the blessings you have bestowed on my life. You have provided me with more than I could ever have imagined. You have surrounded me with people who always look out for me. You have given me family and friends who bless me every day with kind words and actions.
November 23, 2022
November 23, 2022
Your favorite holiday - Thanksgiving Day. You sharing moments of our past, some with laughter, and others that produced watery eyes. On Thanksgiving Day, up early, and a light breakfast, and during the first few years when Harlen was still in school, a large Thanksgiving Dinner prepared for us and a few friends invited who would be alone without being in our family. My favorite part of the day, was you giving grace before dinner. Your words were always perfect, and brought much joy even though my eyes wept. I know our Lord heard your thanksgiving prayer, and the healing it bestowed on those around the table. That moment lives for eternity, and I do miss it so. Always thankful for you and the blessings for the love you gave to us, your family, friends, and co-workers. Smiles back at you on this day of Thanksgiving. Love, Donald
August 29, 2022
August 29, 2022
Smiling at you with memories of some great photos. I love you, but you know that.
August 1, 2022
August 1, 2022
I love the photos, Donald. It brings back so many memories of you, Barry, Harlan , and NWA. I enjoyed my journey back in time with you.
Love you
July 27, 2022
July 27, 2022
I love you, Donald. I would do ANYTHING to ease your pain and broken heart, my precious friend. The love you shared with Barry is truly rare, making it that much harder to say goodbye. Please know that you LIVE IN MY HEART! I would give anything to hug you right now and tell you how loved you are. Please feel my love---forever,

Love always,
Irene
July 26, 2022
July 26, 2022
Started this project over 12 years ago, and had to put it on hold because of my broken heart. My heart is still cracked, but I now have the emotional energy to move forward by looking back at our life through the camera lens. This project will take time and may never be completed, something like life, but it shows Barry's love and affection for all of us. For our guests, please be patient as I view so many photos of Barry's life, taking time to reflect, laugh, digest the moments, and yes, at times, recover from emotional moments. Many memories were destroyed when we lost our home in the Laguna Beach Fire Storm, on October 28, 1996. Pictures prior to this date are not available. They are never forgotten, just in my heart and sometimes I can see the moments, and unfortunately cannot share that part of Barry's life. Hopefully, some of you may read this and have some pics of Barry even before we met, like his youth, Navy plus college years, and the workplace, both at the TN. Easter State Hospital(Barry was Hospital Administrator) and TN Hospital Association(Barry was Vice-President of the Association). You are welcome to add, but remember, Barry's presence must in the photo. Appreciate your patience and understanding. Photos to be added as time permits.

NOTE: To enlarge and view the hidden portion of many photos, CLICK on the photo.
July 26, 2022
July 26, 2022
I miss you too, my precious Donald! You will ALWAYS, ALWAYS live in my heart. I know Barry is with you EVERYDAY. I wish I could hug you. Love you, Donald, with all my heart...
July 26, 2022
July 26, 2022
I watched an English gay movie tonight, "You Are My Sunshine". The theme created a reflection of our life together and our family relationships, or not. Anyway, it was heartwarming, and the terrible hurt of being left behind but the acceptance of one partner's family. I love moments where you are in my presence.
February 18, 2022
February 18, 2022
Hi, Don. I was going through my old address book and saw you and barry's names. i thought i'd search your name and barry. My condolences. What a sweet soul barry was. Hope all is well with you, don. i miss you.. *hugs*

love
bobby d.
san francisco
February 14, 2022
February 14, 2022
VALENTINE DAY, MONDAY, FEBRUARY 2022
The best and most loved valentine a person could ever endure. So much given everyday by you, but this day was always filled with your beautiful words of love, thoughtfulness, and the spirit of the heart. You were such a romantic, reflected by the showers of flowers, cards, and special handwritten notes of LOVE.
December 29, 2021
December 29, 2021
Thinking of you and remembering the memories we share. You and Donald were a match made in heaven and such a joy to be with. Today Bob and I celebrate your life well lived! We love you!
December 29, 2021
December 29, 2021
I’m thinking of Barry and you Donald, today.
Blessings to you always.
December 29, 2021
December 29, 2021
Rest in Peace, Barry. You are loved and missed each day. Watch over Donald and Harlan. And today I'm asking you to watch over my sister-in-law, Therese, in the hospital; send some of your love her way. You will always be remembered as a very special and wonderful man.
December 29, 2021
December 29, 2021
My note seems so pointless, and yet I dream that it may bring you back. Time catches us so naked, and here we are once again. My soul, heart, body aches as it did 11 years ago, as the words came out of my mouth, “I love You”, thinking it would help you stay. Today, I say the same words, once again, hoping your back. How does one define “death” in terms of love, being with someone, and united as one, and then divided into halves. One vanishes, the other somewhere struggling with faith, hope, and horrific loneliness. Does life come together ever again? Maybe, in a different form, so foreign to the eyes we can’t see the gift. Once, again, I say I love you and deeply miss your being. I know you lived, and you exist in my being, thus we are still one. Always, forever, you are my only one. Donald
December 25, 2021
December 25, 2021
My thoughts and memories of you this Christmas morning, DEC 25, 2021. I am so grateful and blessed for all you did in your life. Love you, donald
December 20, 2021
December 20, 2021
As the days march toward the end of 2021, we must pass by the day you entered the eternal loving life of our Lord. Another year we have almost outgrown, but not before we once again recognize December 29, 2010 and the passing of a courageous soldier. Your life was heavenly magical and loved by so many. We, (I) miss you like no other because of who you were and the many blessings you gave us all. I shall never forget how you fought for the battle to sustain the horrific treatments for melanoma brain cancer. Your tenacity and strength continues to encourage us to remain strong and never give up even during these challenging moments. We were all blessed for your being and thankful for your footprint on our hearts. We are a better individual because of you. I love you immensely, nor is there is day you don’t continue to give me strength. Your sport.
December 12, 2021
December 12, 2021
Today is a special day for you both and you will always be together and share love. 
December 12, 2021
December 12, 2021
Thinking of Barry every day.
Whenever I look out of my kitchen and dining room window, I always see Barry and Donald. Our most wonderful friends.

Barry is with you today Donald as always.

Much love
Helen
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Recent Tributes
December 29, 2023
December 29, 2023
To my dear friend Ken you where a lovely person I will never forget your kindness we Chloe Ilse and I will never forget you also Donald may god bless is heart for feeling is life with out you
December 29, 2023
December 29, 2023
A day doesn’t past that your presence isn’t near, but today thirteen years ago, GOD took your soul into eternal peace and forever love where pain and hurt is no more. We miss you so, but our hearts are glorified by GOD’s gift of peace and protection of everlasting love. We remember this day in your honor of walking with us before your journey with GOD.
December 29, 2023
December 29, 2023
Oh Donald, I’m so sorry. This must be a terribly hard day for you. I know that Barry is always with you and that you can feel his love surrounding you. Still… I know how terribly you miss him. Please feel the love and hug I am sending you. I love you, Donald…
Recent stories

So touching. What a wonderful, kind, generous and loving man Barry was.

September 20, 2023
The title says it all! Thanks Donald for sharing all those lovely pics! You should post some of the gang from the gay tennis Federation. There’s a really cute one I sent you of Barry wearing an Indian feather on his head sitting on Tom Neville’s and my lap. His laugh was infectious and so, so so cute! A gentler man I’ve never known.

My heart goes out to you as you continue to suffer his loss.
Hugs, 



Valentine's DAY 2023

February 3, 2023
Living with Barry was Valentine's every day. Why? Firstly, each morning was greeted with a smile, a warm robe from the dryer, and the words " I love YOU". He had already brewed a pot of coffee, and he was ready to make up the bed even if I was not out of the bed. That was the Navy in him. Then our walk with Harlen, and the babies (some call them dogs). They were the humans, we were the dogs. Off to work, and school. The afternoons were treasures. Barry's arrival, a homecoming, with a briefcase in hand, and his suit on, broom in hand immediately, sweeping the sidewalk, and curb. Neighbors come by and say hello, and sweeping continues till every piece of dirt and paper is removed. Then, in the house, glasses iced for drinks to come, and change of clothes to more of relaxed one, and then the biggest hug one can ever imagine and the smile from GOD. One was in his arms with that hug. Now, the mixologist at work for that perfect cocktail and a quiet time sitting with the Koi. It was finally our time. You know, that special moment. A Valentine's moment. 

LOOKING THROUGH THE MIRROR

December 24, 2021
When you were born I was not there nor born. Born in Long Beach, CA., and I in Redding, CA., faith would bring our lives together in years to come. You raised by your grandparents in South Carolina, and I near Nashville, TN by my mother, her mother and dad, uncle, and aunt. How would I lives interwind into one? That story will be told on a different day. This story is about you from the time I knew you till your passing.

Your dad, a lifetime career in the Navy, and your mother, often left alone as wives in the military are to raised their children. Often left with an uncle and aunt due to your dad being relocated by the Navy. A most difficult hardship that many endure to this day. Our lives parallel in many ways. I, lived with my grandparents because my mother, a single mother worked.You and I both so loved by our parents, yet yours could never accept you unless you did what made them feel proud. Mine, always wanted me to be happy. You strived your entire life to be what your parents desired. You were successful in your achievements, and they rejoiced in your success. Their plans for you were to be a successful and accomplishment lifetime Navy Officer, marry and have children. But, you came to reality and at a crossroad and left the Navy. With your Dad’s assistance, the state of Tennessee provided resources for you to attend George Washington University where you obtained a Master’s degree in Hospital Administration.  Afterwards, you were appointed hospital administrator for Tennessee Eastern State Hospital, a mental health long term care institution near Knoxville, TN.  After meeting your obligation to the TN Department of Mental Health, you secured a position with the TN Hospital Association in Nashville, TN. During this period you came to realization you were gay, and started relationships with men both as friends and sometimes romantic. On one occasion, both you and Donald were invited by a mutual friend to a Christmas party. Neither of you attended, but both of you later that evening just happened to visit the same Nashville nightclub, and were introduced to each other by the mutual friend. Immediately, both were attracted to each other and bonded like “love at first sight”. That night was magical for you both, and it was the beginning of our life journey together.

Denied love by your mom for who you were, you marched forward with your life and all the challenges of family acceptance, professional life, self acceptance being gay and living a life as a married man. Never being accepted by your parents for being gay, the strain caused great emotional stress and often no relationship with your parents. The hurt was continuous, sparkling out of control at times, and finally to the point of no communication with you mother. The damaged relationship ended unrepairable, and your heart was deeply hurt to the end. 

Your journey continued with Donald for forty two years, and ended with in Donald’s arm that December 29th night 2010. Both of you were fortunate to adopt Harlen, and you had your family so desired. You always maintained such dignity, love, and grace for all. Admired and loved by many, and dearly loved by Donald and Harlen. You are so missed and loved eleven years since your passing. The forty two years was a blink of an eye, and the laughter, love, can still be heard and felt today. An everlasting love and journey.


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