ForeverMissed

 This memorial website is created by Donald Trisdale, his husband, in memory of our beloved:

KEN BARRY DYCHES
Barry passed into eternity December 29,2010, after a courageous battle with terminal brain cancer known as melanoma. Barry celebrated his 72nd birthday December 12, 2010. His passing shocked many and left our world with one less loving, caring and loyal individual. We shall remember him FOREVER. 


All memorial tributes are deeply appreciated and can be individually created BELOW these stated red guidelines.
1. "ALL GUEST / MEMBERS CAN CREATE A MEMORIAL TRIBUTE.

2. SCROLL DOWN BELOW ALL OF THE "REMEMBERED DATES" AND CLICK ON "CREATE A TRIBUTE."

3. "REMEMBERED DATES" ARE ONLY CREATED BY THE ADMINISTRATOR OF THE WEBSITE.

4. TRIBUTES CAN BE CREATED BY ALL GUEST

Also, guests/members can click on the tab "STORIES" located above and add a personal story. Photos are permitted to be added. Add photos by clicking on the TAB "GALLERY" OR "ADD PHOTOS" on the right side of the page.

"REMEMBERED DATES".

51.  REMEMBERED, TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF PASSING, DECEMBER 29 2010 
Today, returns thoughts and the reality of your suffering those last minutes until your eternal life. Though, many have more pleasant life memories of you as I do, this day seems to never fade those horrific moments of seeing you passing. Our friend Pam holding my hand as we both watched in disbelief this was happening. My heart remains in this felt pain but I fight each day for remembering you are no longer in pain, and doing GOD's work. I love you even more if that is possible, and hold on tight to the extraordinary memories knowing and being so grateful for the love you gave me and the friendship embraced to others.

50. REMEMBERED, CHRISTMAS, DECEMBER 25, 2020
Dearly missed, and loved. Ten years made of so many days of reflection of your love, and the times we spent with each other. Not only I, but so many hearts you touched, and still do.

49. REMEMBERED, BIRTHDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2020.
SUCH A DAY OF MEMORIES. TODAY, WOULD BE YOUR 82nd BIRTHDAY. YOU WERE ALWAYS SHY OF ATTENTION, BUT SO WORTHY OF ALL. I LOVE YOU, AND MISS YOU DEEPLY. MAY THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT BE YOURS THIS SPECIAL DAY, AND IN DAYS / YEARS TO COME
LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GENEROSITY, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, SELF-CONTROL ARE WORDS I SPIRITUALY THINK OF WHEN I FEEL AND REFLECT MY LOVE OF YOU.

48,  REMEMBERED OUR ANNIVERSARY DECEMBER 10, 2020
EACH DAY IS LIKE AN ANNIVERSARY, KNOWING YOUR LOVE, RESPECT, AND CARING WAYS. YET, TRADITION ONLY CELEBRATES IT ONCE A YEAR. THIS YEAR, TEN YEARS SINCE I SAW THAT HUMAN SMILE, THOUGH I SEE IT OFTEN IN DIFFERENT VENUES. THIS DAY IS CELEBRATED IN A SPIRITUAL EVERLASTING LOVE REPRESENTING 52 YEARS OF KNOWING AN ANGEL ON EARTH. FOR ME, IT WAS A MIRACLE I GOT TO WALK WITH YOU AS LONG AS I DID. i MISS THAT GIFT I WAS GIVEN EVER SO MORE!

47. REMEMBERED THANKSGIVING DAY, 2020...TEN YEARS AGO.
 OUR LAST THANKSGIVING WITH YOU IN OUR HOSPITAL ROOM/HOME...LITTLE DID WE KNOW IT WOULD BE OUR LAST THOUGH WE KNEW IT WAS EXTREMELY SPECIAL - YOU, HARLEN AND ME, AND YOUR ANGELS. A HUNDRED YEARS WILL PASS, I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER OUR LOVE AND BE SO THANKFUL. WE WERE SO BLESSED BY GOD

 46, REMEMBERED SUNDAY, APRIL 12, 2020, EASTER SUNDAY

45. REMEMBERED FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2020. HAPPY VALENTRINES DAY.

44. REMEMBERED WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 01,2020.....

Begin another year; 10 years without you December 29, 2020! Unbelievable!

43. REMEMBERED THURSDAY, DECEMBER 27, 2019.
I am so saddened and sorry for the pain you experienced for me. Nine years later, I feel you, touch you, and enjoy all the memories you created for us. I love you Barry.

42. REMEMBERED WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 25, 2019. CHRISTMAS EVE AND DAY.
Christmas Eve, Christmas Day.....Yes, I love you and yes it is a difficult time even after nine years. The church activities, parties, and sharing time with so many people we enjoyed over the years are such glorious Christmas gifts. Yet, the loneliness and sorrow I feel is helplines and weak as I move to the glorious day without you. Holding your hand in Church, and praying together, and saying to each other “I love You”, hearing that voice of security, warmth, and never ending love is breath taking even after nine years of not hearing your words.

41. REMEMBERED THURSDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2019. ARE YOU REALLY 81?

TODAY, came so quick, another year.HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Alone, yet surrounded by so many love ones who knew us.  I know we are both here together, were we would had been by now with each other on our island settling back and enjoying the “good life.” I got us here this year. We are all here now — Listening to a song that came out a few years ago, entitled, “ Pontoon “ by Little Big Town; a song made for us drinking a few beers on a special day. Barry, I love you so much, and after 9 years, I can’t hardly stand it still not being with you especially on this day. I am trying so hard to accept our faith that life is eternity, but it is challenge. I just want to be with you. Life is nothing anymore without you. I promised you I would go on, but I have failed that promise. I am still so mad, and miserable with life without you. Sorry, sweetie. I will keep working on it. Today, a special day and I am so thankful I was a part of your life and so loved by you..  Of course, playing our song tonight, “Sea of Love”.  How much do I love you? More than my life or any measurement of life. My heart is so full tonight. Does anyone understand except YOU!  LOVING YOU FOR ETERNITY! ... We are at home, you, the babies and me and even J.C. You know were I am and you are with me. This will be our final resting place on this beautiful earth GOD gave to us. Took me nine years to get us here, but I never gave up, struggled, prayed a lot for help, and kept focused. We are now home on earth, and we will both be home eternity in the future.

40.  REMEMBERED TUESDAY, DECEMBER 10TH 2019
We would have celebrated our 43rd anniversary, December 10th 2019. In some ways it has been a long nine years since we celebrated together the moment/day we join our lives together. It wasn’t enough time to enjoy our togetherness. I miss you so deeply. Still trying to understand the why’s’ and what ifs’, but continue come back to the reality that I won’t see you till we are united in GODs house and then it will be for eternity. So my faith will get me back to you and that is all that matters. I love you, miss you, and always thinking about YOU!
u
always, especially on this special day, DEC 10, 2019. Happy Anniversary!

39.
REMEMBERED THURS, NOVEMBER 28, 2019.
A blessing so many happy full days together giving thanks and being grateful for the love we shared. I will never stop loving you and missing your love.

38. REMEMBERED MAY MEMORIAL DAY MAY 27 2019.
SEE STORIES WHY BARRY IS REMEMBERED ON MEMORIAL DAY - HIS DEVOTION AND SERVICE CAUSED HIS DEATH.


37. REMEMBERED MAY 10, 2019 .........
MEMORY TONIGHT -A SPIRITUAL FEELING.  Tonight, not a special night for most, but some spirituals swirling about within me and feeling your presence.  More intense tonight than usual, and this spiritual feeling woke me. Are you near? I feel your presence - all day actually. Ended up becoming extremely emotional tonight. Maybe because after nine years, I opened a bottle of red wine we won at a NASCAR Jeff Gordon Auction. Sometime ago in the moves after your new journey I broke one of the Jeff Gordon’s red wine glasses. Kept the broken one, and it sits next to yours, and I used your glass. The corks are becoming dry, plus I just for some reason wanted to have a glass of red wine - a stirring of feelings for you! You are here tonight. Listening to music, and for some reason many of our songs are playing. The music is a streaming wi-fi songs that are played random. Guess you are playing, because one after another are all the songs we listened to as you drove me to work, as we drove watching the world past by our car windows. A very powerful spiritual evening. Thank you my darling angel Barry. I love you, and miss you so and very deeply.

.36. REMEMBERED FEBRUARY 14 2019. 
Thinking of our wonderful valentine memories of years past. Each were so special. I love you and always will. You are forever my Captain Valentine.”


35.  REMEMBERED DECEMBER 29, 2018  
Though I live with this empty feeling everyday, it is more prominent today. At 2023 on this day, 8 years ago you entered eternal life. I would get in bed with you, and kiss a final goodbye. I would play that moment in my mind forever. As our dear enduring friend, Pam stood and witnessed this passing, catching me afterwards, hugging me, and then she said a final goodbye as well. Then she left the room to fetch the nurses. We had our last final moment together, but not so fast - we have so many more in dreams, and moments I knew you created.. This all plays out in my my mind constantly. I love you so Barry. You are so missed my darling.


34, REMEMBERED DECEMBER 25, 2018 
Christmas 2018. Thinking of you and where we were eight years ago. Time growing short as WE (PAM AND I) watched you sleep peacefully (breathing heavenly) in the hospital bed. You had gone to sleep a few days earlier, and sharing with me it was time for me to make the decisions. You closed your eyes and you never spoke again. A moment in time I shall take with me forever. I knew what you meant, and as I looked at you indefinitely, and I thought.....well, I will keep that to myself, since you already know.  I am sure you heared me tell you continuously I will always love you forever, and I do.  Enduring moments, and I hope you heard Pam and I talking till the end. You are and will always be my super hero, and the best Christmas present I ever received in my life. "GOD BLESS YOU BARRY" and I LOVE YOU MORE THAN EVER.


 33. REMEMBERED DECEMBER 12, 2018. 
Happy Birthday!

Today, your 80th birthday, some eight years since your journey after life started. How is this possible? It is so unreal/surreal, and I have such difficulty understanding you are not here. I miss you so deeply, the pain became a numbness. Today, you are so on my mind, not much difference from any other day of the year, but today, I get to dream you were born, and came into my life for us to be one. A glorious gift given by you to me on your birthday. Barry, there is only one like you, and I was so fortunate to be married to you. You gave the gift of life, "your love". and my dearest human being. When you were alive, I could never express how deeply I loved you and appreciated who you were....still words limit my expression and lost of this gift. You were/are the best person in my life that has walked on the earth I live. I pray every day on this earth, I will walk beside you once again. I know you are here. I watch for you, and hear you with those pennies, and dimes you drop for me to find. Oh sweetie, I love you so. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

32. REMEMERED DECEMBER 10 2018. 
Our anniversary would have been today, December 10th, 2 days before your birthday. Both dates are difficult times, but always remembered. I love you so much, and miss you more today than those first days you had to say good-bye. I use this day, like many trying to think of our good times, but being weak, slip often back to moments in the hospital and how sick you were. Barry, I know you visit alot, and I truly feel your presence; I love you being near when you can. Never stop being around. I need you more than ever. Only one request, please be there when it is time and reach out for my hand. I love you forever, forever, and forever. Today, our 44th anniversary and I am still here without YOU!. Unbelievable.


31. REMEMBERED NOVEMBER 22 2018.
You are always here and remembered. As we start another holiday season, my love for you is stronger than ever before. I reflect over so many wonderful holidays, and think how fortunate to share so many. Hearing your voice and seeing the smiles you shared with the world brings the reality you walked with us for years. Often I reach out and touch your face just to waken and realize it was a dream, but I am so blessed to dream of a past reality.

30. REMEMBRED SEPTEMBER 10 2018 
Today, I am 72. My day is filled with memories of being with you, sharing you with no one on previous birthdays. You always took the day off, and you would prepare a lovely breakfast, and we would watch together my favorite movie "The Way We Were", starring Robert Reford. Afterwards, a very busy day ahead full of surpries. Always, we ended with a fabulous romantic dinner, and most of the time attending a play, smphony concert, or a movie holding hands. I missed you, and the our together times, laughter, and most of all just looking at you with such pride. I can't help to think today though, when you turned 72, December 12, you only had 17 days left, and we could only share it together with you lying in bed so sick.  At that time time we did not know why this had happen so qucikly, nor why. But, since then, I have found out, you gave your life for our country being exposed to Agent Orange while in the service. All the ships you were assigned too was exposed to Agent Orange during the Vietnam Crisis/War. A substance many years later recognized by our government exposure meant most often cancer that was terminal. It was for you like so many and so early for the man I loved so much. Thank you for those nine years of Navy Service, and giving the ultimate, your life. I am and so many so indebted to your sacrifice, and my lost. I love you Liteunant Commander, and miss you everyday, but today is extra difficult.


29. REMEMBERED APRIL 1, 2018.
Celebrated Harlen's 38th B.D. We shared memories of past birthdays when you were here.

28. REMEMBERED FEBURARY 14, 2018.
 You are always my Valentine as you have always known. Using this day to remember your thoughtfulness and the love you shared with me not only on this day but each day of our lives together. We truly embraced a living, real fairy tale of respectful love for the days we endured together. Thank you. You gave me a lifetime gift. An everlasting Happy Valentine memory, my darling Captain.


27. REMEMBERED DECEMBER 29, 2017.
Seven years ago, along with Pam, I watched you leave and I shall never forget that moment as I said goodbye to the love of my life. Life without you is unexplainable. I quit trying to understand it because I just miss you so much. Nothing is right. I love you.

26.
REMEMBERED DECEMBER 12, 2017.
Today we celebrate Barry's 79th birthday. Seven years have passed since entering the eternity gates. I miss you more than ever as everyone who you touched in life. A true giant void in the universe was created by your passing, but we shall always remember the gift of your birth that was created on this day. We all wish today we could have spent more time with you, but always cherish the moments we endured within your present. May your angel wings spread love and joy to more. You were a true blessing and for me an angel who walked among us.

25.REMEMBERED:
DECEMBER 10, 2017. 
We would
celebrate our 45th ANNIVERSARY ON THIS DAY. You are here with me tonight like so many evenings. I feel you.

24
.
REMEMBERED: NOVEMBER 23, 2017
  
THANKSGIVING DAY. The days before and the days after ALWAYS.

23
.REMEMBERED:
 4 JULY 201723. REMEMBERED: JUNE 18, 2017:
 
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, BARRY.I love you so and miss you.

22
. REMEMBERED
:
 February 14, 2017
Another Valentines year without you. I did not write on this year's valentine day because it was more painful than ever. It has taken me until today to write to you, plus a song, plus you visiting me today. Even some TV technicians said there are spirits in the house. Of course, I know it's you. I just smiled and said you are okay. "He wants to make sure you are not going to hurt me." It was not a good year, but they are never are even great things do happen. I just miss the love of my life, and my life is no life without you. You are always my Valentine each day. A day does not go by without you being my first and last thought. Your love still touches me as it always will till I can no longer touch your love, and then I will be with you again. Thank you for your eternal love Barry.

21. REMEMBERED: FEBRUARY 14, 
2016
VALENTINES DAY...Five years after receiving a wonderful and loving messages of your love. You were the most wonderful writer of special love messages. Thank you, and I miss them so dearly. I have one of the first photographs you and I have together, and what a wonderful Valentine's gift. We can thank Francine for this great gift.

2
0
. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 29, 2016
SIX YEARS (DECEMBER 29, 2010 @ 8:28 PM) since we said our FINAL goodbye to each other. A difficult day, because of remembering how ill and how much pain you ended life. I tried everything to keep your pain away. I am so sorry and miss you each day of the year. 

19. REMEMBERED CHRISTMAS 2016.....
DEC 12, 2016  Birthday....
Loving you always, and forever!. You are the first, the last, and my everything.

18. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 10, 2016 - ANNIVERSARY...
As our song tell us, "you're my first, my last, my everything.The only one like you, there could not be another like you." I love you. Were did the time go for us? Missing you more than ever, and our tradition of having breakfast at the Bel-Air Hotel to kick off our special day. Remembering the anniversary that morning at the Bel-Air when we met our favorite actress Meryl Streep. She hugged us both! 

17. REMEMBERED:
 
THANKSGIVING DAY 24, 2016
Tis the season again, and difficult times of the year without you. It is coming up six years Dec.29, 2016 since I last saw you; of course, I see you each day in my memories and talk to you daily. I miss you and so lonely without you! It is not a real life without you. I travel often, but the reality where ever I go is without you and knowing that makes its so sad. Still, in disbelief, you are gone.

16. REMEMBERED: SEPTEMBER 10,2016

My birthday. ON A GREECE TRIP PROMISED TO TAKE ME ON. I DID IT.

15. REMEMBERED January 19, 2016
.
-Misty, our beloved BOSTON TERRIER, the LOVE OF OUR family passed at the age of 10.

14. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 14, 2015

Your still my loving and FOREVER VALENTINE.

13. REMEMBERED: SEPTEMBER 10, 2015.


12. REMEMBERED: NOVEMBER 26, 2015

ANOTHER THANKSGIVING DAY WITHOUT YOU...Found OUR SONG: "SEA OF LOVE"...How many times did we think of these words when I was at Berkeley and you in Nashville - separated by distance.We both thought the week would never end till one of us flew toward each other. We purchased American Airlines those three months.

11. REMEMBERED: December 10, 2015
42nd anniversary. Our birth...Its been five years, and I am still in shock without you, sometimes not believing you're gone, and other times realizing reality. Guess you know how much I miss you; of course, the hardest day is near, your birthday. But, today, it was our day, and we had so many special memories of this day. Never forget the morning of our 35th anniversary when we had a loving morning at the Bell-Air Hotel, relaxing outside having the most extravagant breakfast one could think of eating; setting in our round booth overlooking the beautiful swans in the pond, and then looking around to see one of our most famous movie stars, Meryl Streep, who looked up at us, hosted a glass and toasted to us. Our waiter who we had known for years, had shared with her we were celebrating our anniversary. She sent us a note, telling us congratulations. What a morning - a never unforgettable moment absolutely loving, a celebration day. Thank you, darling. I love you then, now, and forever. Thank you for everything, but most of all,  your unconditional love for our entire life together.Your Sport, Donald.

10
.
REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 12, 2015
Anniversary. LOVE YOUCAPTAIN. 

9.REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 24, 2015
My best gift ever was YOU!  Have fantasies of the door opening and there you are standing with your loving smile, and telling me, " I'M HOME!

7.REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 29
2015 - MEMORIES:
FIVE YEARS WITHOUT YOU...Like yesterday in so many ways. Where are the days, I KNOW NOT. Each day I watch for you with the flag, the hummingbirds, and often feel your presence. In MY HEART I know you are near. I love you for eternity.

6. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 14,2015
Your still my loving and FOREVER VALENTINE.

5. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 29, 201
4
4 yrs now passed. Sad memory!

4. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 12,2013
Another year, again, thinking of you the day you were born. Love YOU ever so much!

3. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 12, 2012
As long as I live without YOU.........I love you, Barry...Thinking of you the day you were born.

2. 
REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 12,2011
Where does the year go? Thinking of you on the day born.

1. REMEMBERED: JAN 1, 2011.
Started a new year without you. I can't stand it.

Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 29, 2020
I place a flower on your life today, and in your memory to represent the deep love I still feel for you hence ten years passed. My heart hurts, and my soul remains shaken of your passing. I (we) love you dearly forever. Many thanks to so many who continue to keep you in their thoughts and blessings. I am truly grateful to have such love that continues to surround us both. Sending you a wreath of eternal love BARRY.
Posted by Pam Wickles on December 29, 2020
Hi Barry
I can hardly believe it has been ten years since Donald and I held you close as you passed from this world to the next. You are truly missed.
Donald has struggled but has found a way to survive because he knows God works in mysterious ways. He knows you will meet again.
Know you are loved and thought of often.
Until we meet again.
Posted by Joe Arnold on December 29, 2020
It’s hard to believe it’s been 10 years since Barry has passed, and 23 years since I’ve seen him. The old adage, “Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.” I know this is most difficult for Donald who loves and misses Barry so much. Each day without him is like an eternity.

My heart goes out to Donald, and I pray for peace and serenity in his heart. When he finally does get to meet Barry in heaven, it will be as if no time has passed at all, and they will pick up their love, right where they left off.
Posted by Francine Martin on December 29, 2020
Hard to believe ten years have gone by since your passing, Barry. May you be resting in peace and watching over Donald and Harlan. You are missed.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 20, 2020
Christmas, a special time for us. You, helping me decorate our tree as Harlen looked on amazed of all the lights. A lot has happened this year to so many, and I am so thankful to have all the memories YOU gave us and I can wrap myself around for comfort. Your blessings continue during the darkest days, and turn our thoughts to more warm sunshine enlightenment of good. GOD BLESS YOU!. I Love you Barry always.
Posted by Francine Martin on December 12, 2020
Thinking of you at this special time of year and especially on our shared birthday today...have lots of lovely memories of time spent together...you were always so kind and generous...I hope you are resting in peace...and still looking over Donald with love.
Posted by William Horwich on December 12, 2020
On this day,let us all remember Barry Dykes.A very fine gentleman that touched many people.
Posted by Evie Palicz on December 12, 2020
Happy birthday my friend. You left us way too soon. I remember hearing about your Concord flight. We think of you often. Until we meet again.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 12, 2020
Happy 82nd Birthday. They all were so special. One of our favorite celebrations of your special day, was a surprise trip on the Concorde to Pairs for a few days. We met such wonderful people. They all fell in love with, just like be. We, (I) so fortunate to have you the years we did, and recognizing your special day as an everlasting, eternal life gift. I love you Barry, and Happy Birthday.
Posted by Helen Steers on November 30, 2020
Donald I'm thinking of you and Barry today, as I always do every day, when I look out from my kitchen window. It was such a great pleasure to be your neighbor and friends. Such wonderful times and memories to look back upon.
Always in my thoughts.
Posted by JUDITH FONG on November 29, 2020
Don, Meeting and working with him was my good luck. 

You have truly been a loyal and forever-loving husband. You and Barry were both so LUCKY to have each other. I'd like to say it's good fortune, but that's just the start. 2 people work hard to make what begins as good luck, a good life. You two had that.

So many yrs later, I still see Barry in my mind's eye. The light in his eyes, his impish smile and the sound of his voice (and accent) will always remain with me. And then there was his work--We bonded over that. In it together, paddling hard keeping the boat afloat...

I trust that from his perch in the heavens above us, he is pleased that he had such an impact upon all of us. Wish he was here.
Posted by Diane Mayer on November 26, 2020
Dear Donald, 
Thinking of you during this difficult time, as we sadly miss our loved ones. Wishing you a nice Thanksgiving.
Posted by Irwin B. Katz on November 26, 2020
Donald,

Thank you.

Wishing you and praying for Barry, you and your family to have a peaceful and safe holiday.

Irwin
Posted by Donald Trisdale on November 25, 2020
On Thanksgiving Eve 2020, I am thankful for you. You remain in my heart, and soul. Your steps on this earth are footprints of love, hope, and so many blessings for so many. As I, they remember you this season, probably more than ever because you made our life so much better when you walked with us. It’s been a most difficult year, if not 4, but you have given us the strength to endure endless hurt, pain, and lost. We (I) am so thankful how you touched us in ways we are still evolving in learning how to help others. Inspirational and everlasting gifts, by GOD and through God’s gift for you to live within us, and walk with us is a life blessings’ of THANKS.... I miss you, and always will love you for eternity. You still travel among and with us, and feel it daily. We are so blessed and thankful on this 10 year remembrance.
FOREVER, my CAPTAIN....I LOVE YOU SO...DONALD
Posted by Donald Trisdale on November 11, 2020
NOVEMBER 2020....THANKSGIVING DAY
Not sure were to begin this tribute of the most wonderful person who I walked with on this earth. Everyday, I am thankful for you. Everyday, I think of you. Everyday, I remember that smile. Everyday, I realize I was so loved. Everyday I see you. Everyday is a THANKSGIVING DAY. Does ten years make a difference? You were just here weren’t YOU? Yet, so much has happened. Harlen is now 40 years old, and I will be older than you soon. How is that possible? So many questions yet unanswered in life. You remain a beautiful mystery in my life, and how I treasure those moments of years gone by. Have they really gone by? Probably not, just sleep moments, right? You were a dream of goodness come true for me and for so many others. I can often feel even though I am not physically near them, a spiritual sense when they speak of you as if you are here. What an impact you had on so many. You touched so many lives, and I must admit none of us got enough of you. You still travel with us. I feel and see you often, and I suspect others do too. A treasured eternity gift given to us by and through our LORD. BARRY, BARRY, BARRY — THANK YOU.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on October 2, 2020
Thinking about you !
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 2, 2020


Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 31, 2019
January 01, 2020.....Thinking of you like always, but today - You know! Our day to watch those football games. You would be so proud of Clemson this year. Headed to the championship. Scott, our South Carolina friend is giving me hell wanting to know were is Bama. He always saying Barry would be so proud like I wouldn’t know. You know how I feel without Bama being there. We always had fun though - Your ACC team, and my SEC team. What crazy fun!. Missing those treasured moments. Love you, Donald
Posted by Helen Steers on December 29, 2019
I'm thinking of Donald today and his loss of you, Barry.
Donald knows that you are beside him always.
You are both in my thoughts.
God Bless.

Helen
Posted by Joe Arnold on December 28, 2019
I will remember Barry and Donald forever. They were so instrumental in my life and came into my world at a perfect time. I had just spent two grueling years on the front lines of the war against the AIDS epidemic. I was surrounded by so much death and suffering that I needed a monumental shift in my professional career.

I had the good fortune of being hosted by Donald and Barry at a gay tournament in San Francisco. They were the most gracious and loving gay couple I had ever met. The strength of their love was undeniable. It was strongest bond I had ever seen.

Because of that chance meeting, they offered me a job to work with Donald at one of the psychiatric hospitals Barry was in charge of. that launched me into a gratifying, 10 year career in the psychiatric health care sector.

I will never forget Barry’s goofy laugh and infectious, innocent smile. He was a gentle giant with a huge heart!

My heart goes out to Donald who I know suffers every moment of each waking day. Fortunately he is able to dream about Barry every night. I know this provides him some comfort as he waits for that monumental time when they are reunited in heaven.

Thank you Barry for everything you have done for The hundreds of people in your life, and of course, for me. You were truly one of a kind!

Hugs my dear friend,

Joe

Posted by Irene wingfield on December 27, 2019
Love you so much, Donald. I know your precious Barry is watching over you... you are always in my heart...
Posted by Evie Palicz on December 27, 2019
I can’t believe it has been 11 years since you left us. I think of you and Donald often. I recall with fondness our many gatherings at your beautiful homes. I know you’re watching over all of us, especially Donald and Harland. You are all so very much loved.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 26, 2019
It will be nine years December 27, 2019 when we laid together in that nursing bed, your eyes closed, and most likely I hope your hearing still possible. The nurse told me that afternoon, your breathing had worsen, and time was near. I crawled in bed with you and I talked to you like you were conscious. I knew you were passing, but I couldn’t let you quite go yet. So the night worn on, even I called for food to be delivered. As the food was being delivered, I looked at you, and saw what I hoped I would never see. You had gone with JESUS. I never said a word to Pam, and we set down and tried to eat, but Pam looked at you, and without hesitation, told me Barry is gone. She knew what I had already realized. I got back in bed with you, and I hope you heard what I said only for us to hear. It stills resonates with me even to this day, nine years later. Afterwards, you then left me and went with JESUS. In shock even I knew it was coming, and still in the same state of mind. Time stood still, and has been seen you left even though I get older every year. A big year for us both. I love you Barry, and love you more than I have ever thought possible. You, are my life and always will be. I love you so.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 24, 2019
Merry Christmas, my darling. Watching you decorating our Christmas tree the last time is a treasured memory. I often wondered why that night I did not help you; I was so mis arises by you, and now think, not knowing, or did I know I would never see you decorate a tree again. I just set their, enjoying ever moment, laughing, sharing a glass of champagne as you struggle with that tree, commenting why so a big one. When you finished it was a fifth avenue display treasure. You were so so good at this. Harlen and I enjoyed your craftsmanship of creating such beauty. Of course, I miss it even to this day. No decorations since your last creations, either than a purchased tree that I finally erected two years ago. You were so beautiful and made our home so warm. Thank you. I love you Barry for eternity. Donald Trisdale
Posted by Francine Martin on December 12, 2019
Thinking of you today, dear Barry, on our birthday...rest in peace...watch over Donald...you are missed and loved.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 10, 2019
DECEMBER 12, 2O19
HAPPY BIRTHDAY my darling. You were the best, and you made me a better person, like so many. We said good bye so early, and we are recognize our lost, but what you gave us we carry it as a treasure for eternity. You still are the most significant event in my life and most likely others. You came my way, and put your mark in my soul. I treasured it everyday. I can’t wait to see you again, and my faith is stronger than ever thanks to you. I finally got were we were headed. I made it this year, and I am so happy, because I know you are here, and I am getting closer. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING. DONALD
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 10, 2019
DECEMBER 10 2019
You always had a special way of remembering those you loved. The time you would spend sorting, and reading every card in the store till you located the “perfect card”. Each card was from your heart and the individuals who received it never knew the amount of time you spent selecting their true card. It was a special gift. The ones you selected for me were always perfect for the occasion, or just the moment. I know how much time you spent and how important it was to you to select the right card. I miss those cards and their sayings, and I am sure those who were lucky enough to get one, misses them too. They were always more than SPECIAL. One of many reasons why I love you so much, miss you and thinking about you. Happy Anniversary. Love, blowing kisses, and my spiritual hugs. Donald
Posted by Donald Trisdale on November 20, 2019
Thursday, 28 November 2019
So much has happen this year, and the year has not ended. I made it finally to the spot we had so dreamed and talked about spending our last days together. You are with me, and I know it spiritually. I look out over GOD;s beauty, and see your face, as goose bumps make my arm hairs rise thinking of you as I reach out to touch you. As I give thanks for this Thanksgiving Day, it is because the wonderful gift of love you gave. No one can be admired more for the love and kindness you provided for so many. I am so grateful and blessed I shared you with so many. I love you forever, and forever, and forever and beyond my passing. I miss you so much Barry.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on May 26, 2019
I love you for YOU, your SERVICE, (on this Memorial Day, May 27, 2019) and devotion/dedication to our country and our family.
Posted by JUDITH FONG on May 12, 2019
I have been in Knoxville for the past several days to attend my niece’s graduation from UT. If i’m not mistaken, Barry came from Knoxville. Really pretty small city, approachable, and alive with music, art, and the university. Wanted to tell Barry that I made it here—and say that I could imagine living in Knoxville; except for the humidity it feels welcoming.
Take care. /judith
Posted by Donald Trisdale on May 10, 2019
Spiritual feelings tonight. Thursday, May 09,, 2019. Read my remembered day. So powerful tonight. Feeling your presence ever so strong. Off to bed now, and hopefully its a night of sleep with dreams of YOU. I love you forever, forever, and forever, and miss you for ever, ever, and forever !
Posted by Donald Trisdale on March 18, 2019
Our first song we endured and one that stole our both hearts, Barbara Streisand, the song we would later make our life foundation...."The Way We Were". Fortunately, she would be in our first movie we saw together, and held hands, "A Star is Born".
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 28, 2018
As I dream of our together life, I realize today will be eight years since I last actually physically saw you (December 29, 2010 - 2023hrs). I see you every day, and definitely in my dreams if they are dreams. I hope they are NOT dreams. You are everything I dreamed about, and still, do, and you made me complete. Thank you for such love you gave. It sweeps me on the magic carpet toward YOU!
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 21, 2018
CHRISTMAS 2018.
GRIEF:
I had My own notion of grief
I thought it was a sad time
That followed the death of someone you love.
And you had to push through it
To get to the other side.
But, I'm learning there is no other side.
There is no pushing through,
But rather,
There is absorption,
Adjustment,
Acceptance,
And grief is not something that you complete
But rather endure.
Grief is not a task to finish,
And move on
But an element of yourself.
An element of your being
A new way of seeing
A new definition of self.
Posted by Johanna Dunning on December 14, 2018
Hello Barry, sorry I am late, but even I was overseas I remembered your birthday, as you are in my heart every day. Will always remember your laughter and the love you had for Donald and friends. Donald is doing ok but will never be whole without you. Can you blame him? You remain our #1 hero.. Love you forever my friend.
Posted by Pam Wickles on December 14, 2018
Happy 80th Barry!
Thinking of you and all the fun Donald and I had with you and Bob on our trips. Such great memories we'll always treasure.
Love, Pam
Posted by Joe Arnold on December 13, 2018
My thoughts and prayers go out to you Donald as you celebrate Barry’s 80th Birthday. He truly was a gentle giant who is loved by so many, especially you. His kindness for others was beyond compare. His goofy laugh was infectious and it always made me enjoy whatever we were doing, that much more.
He was taken from us much too soon but hopefully all of the wonderful memories you have of him will carry you until you finally re-connect with him in the afterlife.
Love,
Joe
Posted by Lee Miller on December 12, 2018
Happy birthday Barry
in heaven, forever hea!ed
Our Donald still loves and misses you
But your presence is often revealed.
Posted by Irene wingfield on December 12, 2018
Happy Heavenly Birthday, dear Barry. It breaks my heart to see how much your precious Donald misses you. You were a wonderful man, who lives on forever in the hearts of those who loved you---who love you still.... God bless you, Barry, and your beloved Donald and Harlen.
Posted by Ralph Diaz on December 12, 2018
Happy Birthday Ken. Heard so many great stories from Donald.
Posted by JUDITH FONG on December 12, 2018
Barry,
One of my own fears has always been that after I die, I might be forgotten. Then you realize that when you are loved, you never ever leave people’s hearts. Such is the case for all of us who survive you.
I will be in Piedmont and Berkeley for the holidays - the area our old haunts. Do you remember the ice cream shop with all the unusual flavors? Dinners at your house? And the conversations about children?
...like yesterday.
Love u
Posted by Francine Martin on December 12, 2018
Thinking of you today, dear Barry, on our shared day, when you would have turned 80. You were a gift to our world. Rest in peace, my friend. Continue to look after Donald, whose love for you lives on.
Posted by Irwin B. Katz on December 12, 2018
Wishing my dear friend, whose memory will remain with me forever, a warm and sincere wish on this day, on what would have been his 80th birthday.
I pray for Barry's continuing place close to God especially during this Christmas season and for health, peace and happiness to Donald & Harlan now and in 2019!
With Warmest wishes,
Irwin
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 12, 2018
I hope the following helps YOU with the lost of a love one:
GRIEF:
I had my own notion of grief
I thought it was a sad time
That followed the death of someone you love
And you had to push through it
To get to the other side.
But I'm learning there is no other side.
There is no pushing through
But rather,
There is absorption
Adjustment
Acceptance
And grief is not something that you complete.
But rather you endure.
Grief is not a task to finish,
And move on,
But an element of yourself -
An alternation of your being
A new way of seeing
A new definition of self.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 12, 2018
DECEMBER 12, 2018........
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY CAPTAIN!
Missing u on your special day. Wanted to send you a birthday message of how much I love you and miss you.
I will love you forever, forever, and forever.
My heart is so broken. Love Donald, your sport.
Your card from Birthday Alarm: (not sure how to create a link?)
https://birthdayalarm.com/sendcard/mycards/edit?ccid=1&csid=55625296&card_id=1268
"Dreaming of a life of yesterday". My taste in my mouth is of your love. We fell in love so naturally, and I don't believe it was mysterious, but meant to be. We had looked for each other for so long, missing each other my seconds several times, and then a magical time occurred, and our lives finally intersected. Unknown it would be short even though we enjoyed our journey together for 42 years. But it seems like only no more than a few. Life and time are so difficult to understand, especially TIME.
Every moment I spent with you was a treasure. Never wanted to close my eyes, because I did not want to miss you for even a moment. I wanted to stay in the moment forever, never sleeping. Now, my dream is gone, and when you were here, I never missed a smile, a hug, and the desire for it never ends. I hope it was not just a dream. Now, I seldom close my eyes or sleep because I want to make sure I am alive, believing it happen.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 7, 2018
ANNIVERSARY DECEMBER 10 2018
You were always such an optimist. Always positive, and showing your feelings and emotions who you loved. I was so lucky to have you love me so deeply. You shared your love so many ways, but on our anniversaries you made sure I would know the extent of your love. You would plan a wonderful day to share together - the best gift but always were more. A beautiful day guarantee, flowers, not one card, but sometimes up to five, and then there was dinner, a very special moment in our life. But some years included a surprise breakfast at the HOTEL BEL-AIR.........WOW is still the experiences we enjoyed. There is nothing that can top those experiences. Okay, maybe the supersonic Air France flight to Pairs, France. We did live a magical life together because of YOU! Forever, Donald Trisdale
Posted by Donald Trisdale on November 22, 2018
As the California wildfires rage this year, it brings back so many horrific saddened memories and trauma we experienced on October 28, 1996, when similar fires destroyed our house and another 483 houses in Laguna Beach. I had forgotten why I had not used more pictures of your youth and our life, but everything was destroyed on that day. Our lives spared but life pictures gone. My heart aches for so many today, and so many lives lost this time. We along with everyone else survived our fate with the firestorm. We were blessed.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on November 22, 2018
Woke this morning and there you were in my soul and mind. Another Thanksgiving, and the wonderful memories we shared over the years. It has not been easy, but my thoughts and reflections keep me together. I miss you so much, but ever so grateful we had each other as long as we did. I love you so and never ending missing YOU!
Posted by Donald Trisdale on April 8, 2018
HELLO,
Just dropped by to tell you how much I love you, and miss you as I do each day. Harlen came by and stayed a few days to celebrate his 38th birthday. As usual, we were quiet, but we enjoyed our time together. He looks at your picture a lot, and I often wonder what would he ask me if he could. I find myself telling him," I know, we miss him. It is not the same as it was when Barry was here." I think he understands. He hugs me a lot more these days than in past, and most likely thinks what is going to happen when I am gone. As we talked many times, and never came up with a resolution that satisfied us both, I still don't have the answer. I am still hoping we will figure this out before I come. He celebrated his 38th B.D. We had a nice dinner and I shared some funny memories of all three of us. Hope you heard me. Harlen left today, headed back to Los Angeles, and I feel so alone without either of you, but I know you are near. I love you, and so miss you. Watch over him as I know you do each day. I know when you are here.Forever, I love you.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on February 13, 2018
This eight year of missing you continues to be difficult, and especially on this day - Valentine's Day, February 14, 2018. We used this day to share a moment in time that would become a lifetime. Some years we shared dinner at home, others in a special place, in an LA restaurant or fly to San Francisco to dine in a restaurant.This year like the last seven, I will spend this day without your physical presence and alone. However,, I will have you in my heart, mind, and soul, and your spiritual love. I know you are near. I love and miss you do much.
Posted by Donald Trisdale on January 8, 2018
Just to let you know and everyone else, I wore your CLEMSON T-SHIRT for the first half the night Alabama and Clemson played 2017. CLEMSON was the defending champion. Of course, as you know, I had to wear my Alabama shirt the second half, and Bama won to move on to the championship game with Georgia. JoAnn and I tried to yell for Clemson, but you know how I am about BAMA. I could see you with the Clemson band, and I pointed out to myself, there is the man I love so much.
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Recent Tributes
Posted by Donald Trisdale on December 29, 2020
I place a flower on your life today, and in your memory to represent the deep love I still feel for you hence ten years passed. My heart hurts, and my soul remains shaken of your passing. I (we) love you dearly forever. Many thanks to so many who continue to keep you in their thoughts and blessings. I am truly grateful to have such love that continues to surround us both. Sending you a wreath of eternal love BARRY.
Posted by Pam Wickles on December 29, 2020
Hi Barry
I can hardly believe it has been ten years since Donald and I held you close as you passed from this world to the next. You are truly missed.
Donald has struggled but has found a way to survive because he knows God works in mysterious ways. He knows you will meet again.
Know you are loved and thought of often.
Until we meet again.
Posted by Joe Arnold on December 29, 2020
It’s hard to believe it’s been 10 years since Barry has passed, and 23 years since I’ve seen him. The old adage, “Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.” I know this is most difficult for Donald who loves and misses Barry so much. Each day without him is like an eternity.

My heart goes out to Donald, and I pray for peace and serenity in his heart. When he finally does get to meet Barry in heaven, it will be as if no time has passed at all, and they will pick up their love, right where they left off.
Recent stories

BIRTHDAY STORY AT 60 YEARS

Shared by Donald Trisdale on December 12, 2020
We flew to Pairs on the French Concorde in the dead of winter to celebrate your special day. Those days were so joyous, but on the night of your birthday, our group hosted a back tie and formal dinner and party in The Crillion Hotel. So magical, and entertaining till way after the midnight hour. On this night we danced to wonderful big band tunes played by a live band.

But. the story is of YOU, when you chose to ask the hand of a wonderful and beautiful 90 year old lady. She was so delighted and admired you so, but who didn't. Most of us all sit down at our tables to enjoy the dance you were about to engage in with such an elegant dress woman.

You two had the eyes of all one hundred guest on you two. Yes, you two stole the night, and how exciting it was, but at the end of the dance you did something I never expected, and most likely others. You took her tightly toward you, and as the music ended, you gently dipped her like a pro and as you positioned her back upright, your feet got tangle, and both of you fell to the floor with you landing on top of this absolutely loving lady.

We all gasp, hoping she was not hurt, and you being the gentleman you are, you attempted to pull her to her feet, and then quicker than the eye can blink, she pulled you back down on her, and everyone laughed so hard. We realized she was not injured, and after getting you both up off the floor, she announced to the entire room of guest,  "that was the best lay she had in thirty years", and gave you a sweet kiss on your cheek. What an evening????

The next day we saw her, and she said to you, should we do it again?  So many memories to reflect about on your SPECIAL DAY....

TEN YEARS

Shared by Donald Trisdale on November 25, 2020
Thank YOU Barry! We have so many stories, not sure were to start. Let’s start with thanks to our Lord, Jesus Christ for the time we shared, loved, laughed, cried, and remember how fortunate we are. Still, to this day, I am so thankful for God’s blessing and I was chosen to walk with you through life. What a extraordinary coming and blessings of thanks. 

TODAY, I remember, the preparation of Thanksgiving dinner many years ago. We were enjoying ourselves in our beautiful new kitchen after our house was destroyed in the Laguna Beach fire, sharing hugs, kisses, and stories preparing for our guests. Yes, we had champagne that morning, and then the fun begin. You told me, the “bird is done”, and I smiled at you, and asked for you to do the honor of removing our blessings from the oven. Well, as i turned toward the refrigerator, I saw the largest eyes staring and frozen on my eyes. I looked down, and there it was, the bird had flown out of your hands, laying looking up at us. In disbelief, we started laughing, and you said, “damn that bird is determined to fly”. I responded with, “honey it did fly, it missed the bridge” (Navy joke). You just picked it up, and with a little touch up that you were so good at, we had the bird back on the bridge. What a morning, and I remember this wonderful event every year. You were so cute, and you poured us another beautiful glass of champagne.  We had so many laughs over the years after crying so much that year losing our house. We rejoiced with so many other events and experiences that GOD gave us. So thankful and blessed. How do I love thee, let me count the ways.........Donald

Shared by Helen Steers on December 12, 2019
I think of you and Donald so often Barry.  I miss you when I'm in my garden, thinking of you when you lived on Grand Avenue in Piedmont. We had so many special times together.  Jim talking with you both over the fence, the parties and the times we went out for dinner in San Francisco. Carys still thinks of you and remembers the times we would get together.
Love to you always,
Helen