我是小灰豆生前的亚马逊同事。老实说,因为年龄和职责的差距,我跟她平常无论工作还是休闲的交集并不多。但是2017年,我曾有机会和小灰豆合作成功组织过一次去黄石公园的旅游。
I was one of the colleagues when Yufang worked in Amazon. Frankly, we shared little in common during work and past time due to the gaps of age and duties. But we succeeded in organizing the tourism to Yellow Stone Park with our joint effort in 2017.
我这边还有我老婆和两个女儿。她们那边是三个年轻漂亮的小姑娘。我们七个人,六个女的,就我一个男的。我全程负责开车,其余行程的安排,还有机票租车住宿,一应俱全,都是由小灰豆主持,和另外两个女生商量着办妥帖的。
There were 7 tourists, 6 female and 1 male, including my wife and my two daughters as well as 3 young beautiful Amazonian girls. My duty was mainly driving, and Yufang assisted by the other two girls, took care of the rest, from flight, car rental, catering to accommodation.
小灰豆是一个非常能干的女生。同时也非常有个性,她不是那种会因为世俗和长辈眼光而委屈自己的乖巧女孩。记得我们游览大峡谷时,只有她敢跨出栏杆,一个人爬到风化斑驳的岩石上去摆姿势拍照。我老婆站在旁边一脸嫌弃的嘟囔:要是我女儿,她爬回来我非得揍她不可。
Yufang was smart and capable, and maybe everything but a humble character who would yield to the stereotypes from eldership. I still remember it was she who stepped out of the barrier and posed over the weathered rocks when we visited the Canyon. At the thrilling scene remotely, my wife murmured with the air of disapproval, if she were my daughter, I’d kick her ass after she crawled back.
考虑到我们有娃动作慢,我们两夫妻早上七点不到起来,洗漱停当再伺候娃,八点之前就绪。出门到隔壁一看,三个小姑娘还没起床。我们只好到树林里去散步。快到十点了返回,她们还没有梳洗麻溜。我老婆在屋外嘀咕:哎哟喂,这一个比一个懒得…
My wife and I got up before 7 am considering childcare, and got things ready before 8 am when the three young girls next door were still in bed. And they were laboring on dress-up after we were back from the walk in woods around 10 am. My wife groaned out of their window, well, they are really lazy.
我在一边听了,其实感触更大:我老婆的口气分明是做父母辈的对儿女的埋怨口气。它根本和年轻人怎么懒怎么没出息毫无无关,而是我们已经不再年轻,再也不敢放肆放纵了。我估计我老婆没有体会到这一点,可我心里是蛮羡慕的。
I could feel her complaint in a tone that a parent would complain in. Yet it had nothing to do with the so-called impossibility of the youth, but indicated we were no more of youth in which we could ever indulge ourselves. I really envied them, but I doubted my wife shared my perception.
像我们这样一天天,一年年过日子,平常很容易忘记年岁的增长。然后偶然会有某个机缘,像这样突然被提醒,心里会咯噔一下。我记得再前一次还是我上高一的时候,一个邻居教她孩子,奶声奶气叫我舅舅,我当时感觉心率都不均匀了,自己对自己说:我长大了。
Day by day and year over year, time flies before we could be aware of the increase of the age. Then there might be such a moment like this reminding us of it. I still remember it occurred previously another time when my first year in high school. I felt my heartbeat was as difficult as my breath upon one of my neighbors introduced me to her kid as Mr. Wow, I am grown-up, I said to myself.
我预计下次的一咯噔,应该是有个小孩跑过来,奶声奶气叫我爷爷。但是我希望这天来的越晚越好。我确实没有刻意想过,但是在潜意识里,我一直相信这是天经地义的事:我和家人会在超市里碰见小灰豆带着小小灰豆,上前来半开玩笑:来,叫爷爷…然后我落荒而逃,她哈哈大笑。
I anticipate that I might be shocked again one day when some little kid steps up and calls me old man. And the later that day arrives, the better. Though I did not give a deliberate thought, I believed without question that with my family I might come across Yufang with her little Yufang at some neighborhood marketplace. Yufang might step up with her little one and joke: show respect to this old man, and burst into giggles at my astonished air.
我家住的离小灰豆家不远。我老婆告诉我曾经在超市碰见过小灰豆,当时小灰豆正在看鱼。
The reason daring me imagine that way is that we live nearby Yufang’s and my wife told me she met with her at the marketplace when Yufang was watching the fishes in the aquarium. She might be sick then I am afraid.
我已经活到了中年油腻的年纪,作为生活的老油条,很少有事情可以触动我的神经,引起悲喜。可是当同事们把他们跟小灰豆的照片收集起来,委托我做一个纪念视频,我做着看着,心里有个声音反反复复:太年轻啦,太年轻啦。然后,我的眼眶就湿了。
I have reached such an age that few things could touch my nerves with sorrow. But when I was making a video in memory of her with the photos collected from the colleagues, a voice echoed as if in my mind -- so young, so young. And then I was tearful.
按照中国的习俗,是应该用哭来送别逝者的。在美国似乎要反过来。我也希望入乡随俗,因为我们曾经有幸跟小灰豆度过的每一天是充满欢乐的,我希望以笑声来送她最后一程,让她安息。如果她从天堂里俯视,听到我说的,她可以轻轻一笑,说:东哥真搞笑。
The tear is appropriate for death according to Chinese tradition. But it may be the other way around in US. I’d rather follow the latter, mourning her in smile, praying her resting in peace, at the idea that the days we spent together with Yufang were filled with happiness. If only she could look down and hear what I said, with her comment that Shannon is funny.