March 21, 2020
by Tracy Dixon
I wish every second of the day I didn’t know what it’s like to be a mom to an Angel because it’s the worst pain you will ever know and feel in your life and it’s a pain that never stops!! The tears never stop no matter how hard you try ... I can occupy my mind just for a little bit then reality sets in again that my baby is gone forever and there isn’t a thing I can do! I wished I could be with my daughter all the time and I wished she was still here and me taking care of her but her being healthy!!! I am losing my mind more and more each day that passes and I don’t even know what to do with myself anymore!! Alyssa you are my world and the only one I could fully trust and turn to when I need someone to talk to!!! The last little bit of your life you had me sleeping with you and I would fall asleep rubbing your back and having you snuggled up in my arms .... I want that back and if I could have you back I would do it every night!!! The things I have had to witness from the day you died, to the viewing, the service, watching them carry you out my home then watching them carry you out of the church ... I will never be the same mentally!! I never knew it was possible to hurt this much!!! I truly feel like you took my heart and soul with you because I could care less anymore ... I need you so bad!!