ForeverMissed
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We have created this memorial website to honor his life, spirit, and to capture our memories of him.

Kinhthi is survived by his parents, Trâm and Jim Sanborn and sister Ayida with many extended Tran and Sanborn family members. 

Kinhthi was a student at El Camino Community College with the intent on studying Music and Cyber Security. He was a Redondo Union Highschool graduate. His love of music was the deepest connection with his long time friends. His light hearted spirit and comedic personality was magnetic and a great treasure among his peers. 

He was deep thinker and hobbies included music, gaming, meditating, running, rock climbing, and swimming at the beach. He also loved his beagle, Cody, and took great care of him.
May 29, 2020
May 29, 2020
One event I had that stuck in my mind til this day and came back every so often. Sometime in 2013 Kinhthi and his sister were at my mom (anh Khiem’s house,) I think their mom and the other auntie (chi Tammy) went for groceries. It was two or three in the afternoon, we were hanging out in computer room. I went and got my frozen Reese’s in the refrigerator, the bite size Reese was frozen hard because it got melted into a ball. As I grind my teeth against the ball of frozen Reese Kinhthi asked can I have some. I said no, I’m biting on it already. Kinhthi kept looking at me eating. I knew Kinhthi wouldn’t care; he would have taken a bit out of it had I let me. We adults think differently but kids sharing candy bar is the way of life for them. Now I know how it feels when I’m dying for something I’m caving for at the movement. The next day I may not have that same craving. Now looking back I should have let him take a bite out of my Reese. He would’ve enjoyed it.
Well, Kinhthi, you at 13 taught me a lesson at 50; share with others what I have at the movement they needed most. They won't wanted anymore tomorrow. I hope you didn’t think I was stingy. You probably wouldn’t remember it after that day. Now you know how I feel so I know we are cool when I see you in heaven. I will continue to pray for your good spirit to be with God all the time and for your family to have peace, joy, and happiness here on earth; rest in peace Kinhthi
May 24, 2020
May 24, 2020
Hello Trâm, Jim & Ayida,
We are deeply sorry to hear about your loss. Life passes by so fast, especially when we are forced to move on without the one we love. We hope that our thoughts & prayers will lessen the burden you and your family carry on.

Vũ, Đào, Hân, Minh
May 24, 2020
May 24, 2020
Dear Tram, Jim and Ayida,
We are so sorry for your loss. There are no words that can convey our deepest sympathy for you. Please know we’ll always keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Hiep and Taressa Ho
May 23, 2020
May 23, 2020
Dear Tram, Jim, and Ayida,

We are so sorry for the loss of Kinhthi.  We didn’t get to know him much. Through my(Doria) conversations with Trâm, as we shared common motherhood concerns, and the testimonies of family and friends, we got the sense of how special and loved Kinhthi was.  It takes a family to raise such a compassionate, kind, free spirited, genuine person, and for that you should be very proud. May pleasant memories of Kinhthi bring you joy and comfort. May God give you peace during this time.

Doria, Robert, and Gregory
May 22, 2020
May 22, 2020
Xin chia buồn cùng gia đình Trâm.
Thương xót tiễn đưa cháu về cõi vĩnh hằng. Dì Hà, Nha Trang, bạn Mẹ Trâm.
May 22, 2020
May 22, 2020
Jim - I am deeply saddened by your loss. I will cherish all of the stories and memories that you have shared with me about Kinhthi since we met 19 years ago. Sending you and the family my deepest condolences, love and light.

Hold tight to memories for comfort
Lean on your friends and family for strength
And always remember how much you are loved my friend

~Linda
May 22, 2020
May 22, 2020
KinhThi. You touched so many lives with your zest for life and your beautiful smiles. You taught us how precious and how short life is, to make life meaningful and to live it fully. I learn much about you through the conversations with Mom Tram. She loved you deeply, on a level that few mothers can. Rest In Peace KinhThi.

Tram, Ayida and Jim, this loss is so great but KinkThi lives on. Our deepest condolences to you and to the entire family.
Nam Mô Tiếp Dẫn Đạo sư A Di Đà Phật.

OanhKhoi and family.
May 22, 2020
May 22, 2020
Dear Jim, Tram and Ayida,

Our deepest condolences for the loss of your beloved son and brother. It is difficult to imagine the pain you are going through. We hope the memories of wonderful years you spent together with Kinhthi will bring some solace and peace to your hearts. Our thoughts are with you in these difficult times.

Love,
Tarmo, Ülle and family
May 22, 2020
May 22, 2020
I don't know that any words exist to encompass the grief your family must be enduring and we are so very sorry for your loss. Kinhthi had such a good sense of humor, which seems to be a wonderful trait that runs in your family. I hope that at times when the sorrow ebbs, fond memories of his wit provide some comfort. Love to you all,
The Happys
May 22, 2020
May 22, 2020
Jim, Tram and Ayuda:

From our family to yours, sending you our deepest condolences and warm thoughts with the loss of KinhThi! I remember when he was born and each year you'd walk to my house on Halloween to show him off :). I also remember when we were getting ready to sell the house before you left for South Carolina and I told him we were going to paint his room purple and pink. The loss of a child is one that we know personally and we found amazing support in our family and friends. We know that you will find the same as seen on this thread. We love you ❤️

Kin and Sheri Fejeran
May 21, 2020
May 21, 2020
Dear Sanborn Family, We are at a loss for words and are so deeply sorry for your loss. Kinhthi was a friend of my sons, through Redondo Union - and I was always happy when they would hang out because they always had such a good time filled with smiles, music and laughter. Such a joy to have in our lives!!! Our hearts are broken.
Praying for your healing, comfort, strength and peace during this painful time. Love, Rory, Morgana, George & Dane Kennedy
May 21, 2020
May 21, 2020
   It is with great sadness that we are saying goodbye to KinhThi. Was it not just 6 mos ago when we were altogether hanging out, playing games and pigging out on pizza?
   Jim, Tram and Ayida, we cannot fathom the depth of your pain. We are so sorry for your loss.
   Thinking of you all during this time of sorrow.
My-Lan, Phong, Ellie and Andrew
May 21, 2020
May 21, 2020
I am so sorry, Tram. I love you and miss you and your smile.
We wish we could offer you something, anything but we are at a loss for words. We really don't know what to do and we know you don't either.
We will be here for you when you are ready. We are praying for you and your family and hope you all heal.

Love, Satoko, Dan & Umi
May 21, 2020
May 21, 2020
Dear Sanborn family,
Our deepest condolences to your family in the time of this great tragedy. Our family is sending all our love and prayers to yours. Kinhthi will be in our hearts and greatly missed.

Ho Family
May 21, 2020
May 21, 2020
I am honored to have known Kinh Thi. He was a sweet, friendly, handsome young man and I will miss him.
May he Rest In Peace.
Trâm, Jim, Ayida, and extended family, please accept my condolences.
My love and support will always be here for you.
Thúy Ngọc
May 21, 2020
May 21, 2020
Though I did not know Kinhthi for very long, I had the pleasure of meeting him my senior year of high school through marching band. He was loved by everyone in the program. Such a genuine, funny, kindhearted person taken from us too soon. I will hold the memories I have of him close to my heart. My deepest condolences to the Sanborn Family. Kinhthi will be deeply missed.
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020
Dear Kinhthi,

My earliest memories of camping were watching movies together with you and Ayida in the RV. Thank you for being one of my first Van Lang friends and for bringing all of us closer together! I remember how you were always coming up with different ways to make us laugh - whether it be through your Temple Run commentary as you played, the way you narrated our Mafia games, or even showing us how you jumped over both your two arms at Di Nguyen's house!

Our family will miss you a lot, and we send our love and condolences to Di Tram, Uncle Jim, Ayida, and extended family.

Love,
Linda
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020
I am so very sorry for your loss. I remember celebrating Kinhthi’s first birthday with his parents and family. It was a lovely day. So many years have passed since I’ve seen your family. My son Buddy (Burton Weick) told me the terrible news today and my heart aches for you all and the loss of Kinhthi.

Dear Jim, Tran, and Ayida, I wish you comfort and peace in the love and memories of your beloved son and brother. 
With love, Cynthia Knott
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020
I have hard time to accept that Kinhthi is no longer with us. My deepest condolences to Tram, Jim, Ayida, and extended families. No words can describe your pain. I pray that you find strength to go through this extremely difficult time. May the beautiful memories of Kinhthi bring some ease and help you carry on. RIP, Kinhthi. You will be forever missed.
Love,
Dien,Thuy, and family
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020
Dear Sanborn Family,

We were heartbroken to hear about Kinhthi. Our deepest condolences and all our prayers to you all. He was an amazing young man and will forever be remembered for his illuminating spirit, infectious smile, being a true friend, and loving brother and son.
With our heartfelt ❤️ love,
The Wagner Family -
Parras Friend Logan
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020
Dear Sanborn Family,
Our deepest and most heartfelt condolences. May his memory be a blessing.

With love from the Mintz Family, home of the infamous Kindergarten Kegger for the class of 2019.
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020
Dear Tram, Jim, and Ayida,

We are deeply saddened by the sudden and tragic loss of Kinhthi. My mom was rattled by this news. She was always fond of you guys, and especially Kinhthi and Ayida, have a special place in her heart. Eventhough I only met Kinhthi and Ayida a few times when they were little, I felt like I knew them because my mom used to talk about them all the time. She would tell me about the cute and silly things that they did and it made her chuckled or smiled. I know she treasures all those memories. I can't imagine the pain you're going through. May all the sweet memories you shared with Kinhthi bring some solace during this difficult time. Our thoughts are prayers are with you and wishing you the strength and peace now and the days to come. 

With deepest sorrow and sympathy,
Kelly & Yen "Bà Hạnh"
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020
Kinhthi,

You were such a joy to spend time with. Your humorous and upbeat personality never failed to make everyone laugh. Every moment with you was a fun time. Out of the many memories I have with you, I especially remember the times we spent playing cards and watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in the RV. Seeing you at the beach this past summer was amazing and I wish I could spend more time with you. I miss you Kinhthi, and my condolences to Di Tram, Uncle Jim, and Ayida.

Love, Marcus
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020
Dear Kinhthi,

Every time that I saw you, you were always so positive and cheerful. Your humor made me laugh so many times! I had so many wonderful memories with you. From playing cards in the RV, biking, hiking, riding the ripstick, and eating marshmallows over the fire, no moment was ever dull with you. You brightened so many peoples' lives. I miss you, Kinhthi. Condolences to Uncle Jim, Di Tram, Ayida, and extended family members during this time.

Love, Matthew
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020
Dear Anh Jim, Chi Tram, and Ayida,

We are very saddened by the news of Kinh Thi's passing. Kinh Thi was fortunate to be born in a family with caring parents and sister and extended family members. We hope the beautiful memories of Kinh Thi will help you overcome this difficult time.   Nguyen and Nhut (Cuong's brother in law).
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020
My Trang cầu mong cho cháu được về bên Chúa nhân từ và xin chân thành chia buồn với bạn Trâm .
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020

Kinhthi,

I didn’t want to believe it and I still don’t. I remember you were such a fun and free spirited child. It was fun seeing you grow up into a cool kid before you moved; I didn’t know it would be the last time I’d see you though. It feels unreal that you’re gone, but you have many people here, including myself, that miss you. I always asked my mom how you were doing, but I should have reached out to you myself.

With love,
Your old neighbor; Jackie
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020
Our thoughts are with you. May his memory continue to bring you joy for all the moments you shared.

- Kim and Holly Skarda
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020
To My Beautiful Kinhthi,

I will fall short of providing the words that truly describe how proud I am of you and who you have become. You never allowed your physical and emotional setbacks to define who you were as a person. Instead you leveraged those experiences in defining the man you had become. A truly respectful, gentle, witty, loving individual that YOU are.

You have touched the hearts and souls of so many around you. I will cherish the limited time we had together and forever hold you close to my heart. I will endure this unimaginable pain of losing you as a reminder of how fragile life is and how much I must embrace it.

I love you and will miss you so much my son.

-Your Loving Father
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020
Dear Kinhthi,

It's hard to put into words how much you mean to me and to our family. We grew up together and shared countless memories in Redondo, in the RV, on camping trips, at Easter Parties and Mud Runs, and everything in between. It'd be impossible to list out all the good memories but here are a few of my favorites that come to mind: accidentally drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade when we were 8 because we didn't know it had alcohol, singing Barbie Girl on your karaoke machine, you beating me every single time we played chess, and countless games of Mafia at every Van Lang get together (which you always narrated because no one could make the stories as entertaining as you). Your wit, kindness, and humor were unmatched and there was never, ever a dull moment when you were around. Thank you for being a caring, funny, and steadfast friend to me since we were babies. I'm lucky to have known you and will miss you so much. To Di Tram, Uncle Jim, and Ayida -- I'm thinking of you and sending love to you all during this tough time.

❤️ Kelly
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020
Chỉ mới mấy tháng trước gặp em dịp tết ở nhà cô Tú, cùng ăn uống và chơi song hường với đại gia đình. Khi chia tay em tối hôm đó, anh không thể nào ngờ đó là lần cuối cùng mình gặp nhau... Em ra đi, nhưng vẻ khôi ngô, tuấn tú và sự thông minh, thân thiện của em sẽ ở mãi trong lòng những người đã tiếp xúc em.

Gia đình con xin chia buồn cùng cô, chú và em Ayida. Chúng con không tưởng tượng được nỗi đau mà cô, chú và em Ayida đang phải trải qua, nhưng chúng con mong gia đình sẽ mạnh mẽ vượt qua nỗi đau này.
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020
Where should we begin?  Our kids have pretty much grown up together. We spent countless vacations, camping trips and parties together. 
It was shocking to hear that Kinhthi has left us too young and too soon.  But his charm, his politeness and especially his smile will stay with us forever.
You will be missed Kinhthi!

Di Nguyen, Uncle Scott, Kelly and Kristin
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020
We are truly sorry for your loss, he was taken from us too soon. Our condolences to your family; may he never be forgotten.

From: Phil, Trang, Eric and Edin.
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020
Dearest Trâm, Jim and Ayida,
We are at a loss for words during this sorrowful time!! We cannot begin to imagine what you are feeling, but let us share our heartfelt condolences. Please know that we are thinking of you all and praying for peace and comfort.
❤️ ❤️❤️
Gia đình chị Anh & Hạnh
Gia đình Phương & Phụng
Gia đình Trai & Tâm
Gia đình Ngọc & Linh
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020
Please accept my heartfelt condolences, words cannot begin to express the sadness you are feeling right now, God rest his soul.
Phong & Ut
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020
We all loved having Kinhthi in our lives, and we will miss his boundless energy, radiant smile, youthful innocence and heart of gold. We loved watching him grow up as our neighbor, and always looked forward to his surprise visits during Halloween after moving back to Redondo. Kinhthi has enriched everyone's life he has come in contact with, and he will be sorely missed. Kinhthi is a loveable soul who will never be forgotten.

-The Morrisons
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020
We send our love and energy to help you through this very sad time in your life.
From Ray, Diep, Long, and Trang.
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020
Cô chú là bạn học của mẹ Trâm, đã 02 lần cô chú gặp KinhThi khi cháu theo mẹ về thăm quê hương Việt Nam. Cô chú vô cùng thương tiếc khi nghe tin cháu đã xa rời trần thế. Cô chú nguyện cầu hương hồn cháu sớm siêu thoát về cõi Phật. Nam mô Tiếp dẫn đạo sư A di Đà Phật.
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020
We are sending our sympathy and condolences to Di Tram and Jim. Kinh Thi was a wonderful boy and was always great to spend time with. He brought happiness to so many and that happiness will carry on forever.

Dora and Khang
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020
Kinh Thi,
Được cậu Cương báo tin má chị bàng hoàng cứ ngỡ là đang mơ. Bàng hoàng và đau xót. Em còn quá trẻ và chỉ mới bắt đầu một hành trình mới và để lại nỗi đau vô tận cho những người thương yêu em. Lần đầu gặp Kinh Thi là đám cưới của tụi chị lúc đó em mới hơn 1 tuổi. Em thích leo cầu thang và sau mỗi lần té là em lại leo tiếp và dù té đau cũng không khóc. Chú Jim bảo là em chỉ khóc khi chảy máu mà thôi. Lúc đó em đã gây ấn tượng cho mọi người ở đám cưới là một cậu bé vô vùng xinh xắn và gan dạ. Lần thứ 2 gặp Kinh Thi là ở Los Angeless khi gia đình chị qua thăm gia đình Kinh Thi cũng đã hơn 10 năm. Lúc này em là một cậu bé trai hơi nhút nhát nhưng rất dễ thương và đàn piano rất hay. Chỉ hai lần gặp ngắn ngủi nhưng chị vẫn luôn nhớ đến Kinh Thi. Gần đây nhất là cô Trâm chia sẻ hình của Kinh Thi chụp chung với chị em họ trong một tiệc cưới vô cùng vui vẻ và hồn nhiên. Chị vẫn không thể tin được là em đã không còn trên đời này. Chị có thể cảm nhận được nỗi đau của cô Trâm và chú Jim và những người thân yêu của em. Chị còn nhớ mới đây thôi cô Trâm đã bảo, cô không ước mơ gì lớn lao, chỉ có một mong ước bình dị là Kinh Thi luôn sống vui vẻ. Và chị cũng đồng ý là cho dù cuộc đời có bon chen thế nào thì cuối cùng quan trọng nhất vẫn là được vui vẻ và bình an. Em đến với cuộc sống này quá ngắn ngủi nhưng một sứ mệnh đã hoàn thành, em đã giúp những người ở lại nhận ra cuộc sống này ngắn ngủi biết bao. Ra đi thanh thản Kinh Thi nhé, chị tin là em đã hoàn thành một sứ mạng ở thế giới này và đang đi tìm một sứ mạng khác. Em hãy tin là những người thương yêu em ở thế giới này vẫn sẽ luôn cầu nguyện cho em.

Cô Trâm, chú Jim, Minh và Bé chia buồn cùng cô chú. Cuộc đời này không thể nói dài cũng không thể nói là ngắn, nhưng những gì cô chú đã làm cho Kinh Thi vượt xa những gì mà những bậc cha mẹ có thể làm được cho con. Tuy nhiên, sống chết đều có số, Bé hy vọng cô chú có thể vượt qua nỗi đau này và mong Kinh Thi ra đi thanh thản.

From Nam Nguyen, Austin, Texas.
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020
RIP Kinh Thi!

My deepest condolences to Tram, Jim, Ayida and all Extended Families.
Love!
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020
I have searched for words, poems, music; anything that may express my sadness at the loss of such a unique, full of life, and determined young man. But there are none. The loss is too much, too soon, too deep, too unanswered. 
And yet I feel Kinhthi's spirit has moved on from this life with peace and grace to another calling without us for now. He does live on with us here on Earth in the smiles and laughter he elicited, memories shared. He was too big to just silently leave us.
And so I remember him saying his first word: chocolate, so very clearly over the phone with Jim groaning in the background knowing he'd have a challenge getting him off the topic after we hung up; his child's eyes so full of mischief and joy playing with his cousins at reunions; climbing up the rock cliffs of the Colorado mountains as if he was born to do it, so nimble and quick; playing cards around a campfire, his mind racing 1000 mph ahead of mine, a smile quirked on his mouth. 
These are but glimpses of a young man who lived his life on his terms, short as it may have been here with us. May he feel the warmth of the love we have for him always.
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020
We just could not accept the fact that KinhThi is not here with us. We camped together, partied together at uncle Scott’s house, giggled with the group under the stars at the beach...yesterday. Have to spill my secret to others: you are my favorite boy with the soft voice and mischievous smiles, the most handsome boy in the group. I am forever grateful that I did tell you that.

19 years is too short but you did live the fullest life with people around you. Your family also did a wonderful job to be there for you. Rest In Peace my KinhThi. Love you and your family very much. You are forever lives in our hearts. 

You showed us life is fragile and full of uncertainties. We treasured the times we spent together with you, to grow with you...

Still can’t get to terms that you are not here physically with us!!! Sleep well baby ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Our condolences to Trâm, James, Ayida, and all the extended families for your lost. It’s too much, too suddenly!!! We are with you ...
Love,
Cô Trang, uncle Ed, Marcus and Matthew
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020
Such a tragedy. I pray you find the strength each day to manage the sorrow and pain.  My family grieves.
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020
It is still difficult for us to accept that Kinhthi is no long here with us. A beautiful soul has been taken way too soon. RIP Kinhthi. Our heartfelt sympathies to Jim, Tram, Ayida and the extended family. Love you all.

Gigi, Tuan & Timothy
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020
My deepest condolences to Tram,Jim,Ayida and your family.
May cherished memories and the passage of days bring healing peace to your heart.
Chị Thuỷ và 2 cháu.
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020
A young man, a grown boy
Our son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin, friend
A happy boy, so pure and innocent
A young man; intelligent, searching, learning
He liked to play chess, he found passion at the keyboard
He appreciated things in their place
And now suddenly gone; what, how, why?
We mourn, we cry, we want to fix it
Most of all, we want to be together
The family, memories, reunions, friends
In our hearts, always there; a way to breathe, a way to soften the hurt

Dear Jim, Trâm and Aiyda - We mourn the loss of Kinhthi with his beautiful smile and twinkle in his eye. Some day soon we will be able to be together for hugs and comfort. We always look forward to our time and visits with you. Know that our love and hearts are with you and Kinhthi always.

Love,
Julia and Thomas
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020
Still having a really hard time accepting this reality; it's just unimaginable! I can't even imagine the pain Tram, Jim, and Adyda are going through. I could only hope that you are able to find strength during this dark time.

RIP Kinh Thi!
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020
Hi Trâm,

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Huy Hạnh
May 19, 2020
Dear Jim Tram and Aida,

This terrible loss of such a sweet person is hard to undertand. I hope the tears that we cry can somehow subtract from your pain.
           
                  Love,
                         Aunt Rachel
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Recent Tributes
May 29, 2020
May 29, 2020
One event I had that stuck in my mind til this day and came back every so often. Sometime in 2013 Kinhthi and his sister were at my mom (anh Khiem’s house,) I think their mom and the other auntie (chi Tammy) went for groceries. It was two or three in the afternoon, we were hanging out in computer room. I went and got my frozen Reese’s in the refrigerator, the bite size Reese was frozen hard because it got melted into a ball. As I grind my teeth against the ball of frozen Reese Kinhthi asked can I have some. I said no, I’m biting on it already. Kinhthi kept looking at me eating. I knew Kinhthi wouldn’t care; he would have taken a bit out of it had I let me. We adults think differently but kids sharing candy bar is the way of life for them. Now I know how it feels when I’m dying for something I’m caving for at the movement. The next day I may not have that same craving. Now looking back I should have let him take a bite out of my Reese. He would’ve enjoyed it.
Well, Kinhthi, you at 13 taught me a lesson at 50; share with others what I have at the movement they needed most. They won't wanted anymore tomorrow. I hope you didn’t think I was stingy. You probably wouldn’t remember it after that day. Now you know how I feel so I know we are cool when I see you in heaven. I will continue to pray for your good spirit to be with God all the time and for your family to have peace, joy, and happiness here on earth; rest in peace Kinhthi
May 24, 2020
May 24, 2020
Hello Trâm, Jim & Ayida,
We are deeply sorry to hear about your loss. Life passes by so fast, especially when we are forced to move on without the one we love. We hope that our thoughts & prayers will lessen the burden you and your family carry on.

Vũ, Đào, Hân, Minh
May 24, 2020
May 24, 2020
Dear Tram, Jim and Ayida,
We are so sorry for your loss. There are no words that can convey our deepest sympathy for you. Please know we’ll always keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Hiep and Taressa Ho
His Life

Kinhthi

May 18, 2020
Kinhthi came into this world 9 days late. His mom had finished a jigsaw puzzle of many exotic frogs, while waiting for him to come. Since birth, he was always a rebel and a life-seeker. 


He grew up in Redondo Beach, he loved the water, his friends, and his life. He attended Jefferson Elementary School, Parras Middle School, Redondo Union High School, and was going to El Camino Community College. When he was young, Kinhthi was a big troublemaker, whilst being a smart student. In middle school, he learned how to hack through the school's firewall and go onto the dark web. His parents were called to the school and were given a 4 inch thick stack of paperwork. 


Growing up with a large extended family on both his mother's and father's side, Kinhthi never was "alone," and always had someone to hangout with, or talk to. He was close with his cousins and often kept in touch with them, even when they lived far apart. He had many memories with all his cousins including performing Ayida and Uy's Wedding, hiking in the Rocky Mountains, and the countless Tran and Sanborn family reunions.  


Since family was such an avid idea in his life, it is no doubt that family was so important to him. Every time there were family issues, he would always step in to try to relieve it. He would talk to each of his family members about it and make sure they were truly okay. He had such a mesmerizing way with words that one would always understand what he was talking about and they'd know he'd always understand what they were talking about or going through. Kinhthi and his father always knew they both loved and cared for each other and would do anything for the happiness of the other. They had this unspoken communication and understanding  between each other and were a good team. His relationship with his sister, started out like any other sibling relationship, endless fighting. He would always tease her relentlessly, but deep down he loved her to the core. In the last years of his life, they had outgrown their childish habits and reached a deep understanding of each other only they'd know. Kinhthi had an especially unique relationship with his mother. During his late teen years when they lived apart from each other, they would stay up late at night talking about their problems, their relationships, their friends, their family, and their everyday lives to update each other on what's up. Kinhthi was someone who wasn't afraid to say what's on his mind, so whenever his mom was giving him shit, he would always call her out on it, thus building a devoted and meaningful relationship to each other. 


Kinhthi’s friends were of the utmost importance to him. They made up an integral part of who he is. During Kinhthi’s free time, he'd always choose to spend it with his best friend, Jonathan. The two were inseparable, and their friendship and close bond was very obvious to anyone that knew them. When he moved to South Carolina, they kept in touch and despite being thousands of miles apart, their friendship never wavered. Kinhthi then moved back to California, and thus began a new chapter in his life. He was convinced to join the school’s marching band, an activity very foreign to him at the time. He instantly became loved and admired by the entire band, and people were fascinated by his unapologetic way of being himself. He made many close friends during this time, who can all say that Kinhthi was someone who they could confide in, and there was not a judgemental bone in his body. Not only was he truly caring, and considerate, but he was incredibly entertaining and fun to be around. His humor was unique to him, and people constantly had their phones out to film his next move. Without realizing it, people began to adopt his goofy mannerisms and sense of humor. There was a little bit of Kinhthi in all of his friends. He truly was the glue that held together his friend group, and he made people feel comfortable and safe when around him. 


Kinhthi grew up into a man whom everyone admired and left a deep mark on anyone he met. He was a person never afraid of consequences and lived his life to the fullest. He was one who wouldn't have a plan and  instead would be spontaneous and have fun. He lived life with no regrets and was a walking icon to the people around him. His carefree nature and empathetic personality always drew people to him. Kinhthi would always make an effort to make sure people never felt alone, and he always knew the right things to say to people who were feeling down, and even just his presence could cheer someone up. Kinhthi was truly someone who was so capable of empathy, a trait rarely found in today's world. Kinhthi was truly the only person of his kind and will be forever missed, and his legacy remembered and celebrated.



Recent stories

Christmas 2022 Preview

December 28, 2022
My Dearest Kinhthi,
People ask me, “How I am doing?” My typical response is “I’m doing ok.” The truth is, it’s difficult to explain.
I haven’t shared this with many. That is, what I am internally dealing with. The Transitions from one grieving state to another has been the most challenging period of my entire life. Quite painful I must add. A co-worker experiencing the same challenges asked, “Does it get any easier?” My response was I am doing better job compartmentalizing my emotions. Allowing me to function in the face of grief. When life tells me what I must ACT. Not only to survive but to THRIVE as well.
My process of grieving takes has taken on several forms. Living through such a tragedy takes all your basic emotions leading up to the time of the event, then suddenly amplifies them into unbelievable extremes. I find myself curled up in a ball in a dark corner wondering how I’m going to survive this, figuratively. At this stage of the game, I still have no fucking clue how!!!
{Ok Jim deep breath. I’ll let you know when to breath out…}
As time passes, I feel the changes from one grieving state to the next. I refer to these changes as Transitions.
The Transitions from on-my -knees, hands cupping and holding my head in utter DISBELIEF to Agonizing, crippling painful SHOCK, to most lately, Explosive, mind-altering ANGER, on my way to whatever emotional state awaits my attention and commitment.
I’m not looking for Nirvana, I’m too pragmatic for that. I’ll never forget my mindful sister’s words in that awful moment during your service, “Jim, you WILL experience joy again…” Thank you, Julia, for shedding some light on the road in front of me and a destination to look forward to.
My grief, my personal odyssey in search for the feeling of Joy has never followed a straight line. Throughout my life, I have made some good decisions, some bad decisions, some giving decisions, and from time-to-time, selfish decisions. All of which has left me walking in circles trying to figure out which exit to take off the roundabout. Does this exit take me down a path I that moves me ahead, or sideways, or most dreadfully, pushes me backwards. So far, it’s been a mix bag. However, if I keep my destination in mind, I want to believe that I’m moving forward.
A cliché one gets familiar with when living amongst the grieving, is “Everyone grieves differently.” Truer words have never been spoken. Well, this is my grief story. Why you say?
Because I own It. It is mine. It is a part of me. Alone I allow It to give or take. Alone I adjust Its pain levels. Alone I wear It like a suit of armor. Alone I fear It. Alone I am burden by It. Alone I must live with It, the remainder of my life…
My grief Kinhthi, not only includes you, but your grandfather, injured uncle John, and disunited cousin Robby. I will follow up this note with some stories that have impacted me positively in one way or another. Stories that are helping stay sane. Stories that move me forward during, when at times, seems like an unsurmountable mountain of grief. Please stay tuned!
I miss you so much...

Happy Belated 21st Birthday Kinhthi

August 19, 2022
My dear Kinhthi, you turned 21 a while ago. I had started to write to you but never finished. How I wish you were here to share such a milestone in a young man's life. You can pretty much do anything except rent a car. I haven't written you much this past year. I will try to do better. It helps me remember and cherish the precious time we had with you. My emotions, 2.5 years after you left us are still oscillating up and down. More down than up it seems. I find it hard sometimes to think about the future. There are triggers everywhere that can turn what would be a normal day at work into an "I can't believe your gone" moment. Often times my outlook becomes inward focus and I can't seem to find the reason to move on. It's these times that family is so important. Reminding me that my life is not my own, it is shared in part by everyone we know. Most notably, your mother and sister. When I feel I'm hitting rock bottom, I tend to call you grandmother. Not just to hear what she say, but just to hear her voice. In thinking about what led up to your untimely departure, I can totally understand the anxiety you must have felt moving from CA to SC. It's no fun being different. I remember the challenges I faced growing up in Wisconsin. No matter how bad it got, your grandmother had a way of making it ok. Through her voice, her touch. Through her ever empathetic presence. Your grandmother was always there for me. And not only me, but it also seemed to everyone else in the neighborhood as well. I can hear her say "there is always room for one more..." 

 I'm trying to buy a house now near the area where grandma and grandpa grew up. Unfortunately, I have run into many obstacles concerning the septic system that needs to be installed due to city code issues. The delays keep coming and the costs keep going up. I'm afraid I'll need to back out at the last minute. We'll see. It depends on the seller and whether or not he's willing to help me out. 

At work today, a senior VP had put together a video of her son who she had just recently lost. Her story was almost identical to yours. It really set me back today. I wasn't able to get much work done. I have a chat scheduled with her tomorrow. So sad. 

I'm looking forward to having your sister close by. I hope that we can reconnect. I've feel I've lost touch with her over the years. It will almost be like starting over for the two of us. Your mother and I are doing well. We do have the occasional "bad days". But all in all, she has been and always will be a significant part of my life. 

As I sit here and write, I imagine you hanging out playing video games or giggling with your friends over the phone. I had such a wonderful time your senior year watching you enjoy your friends and all the activities you were involved in. I can remember sitting in the stands during your band events. Just watching you enjoy yourself. It was nice. 

It's about 2:00 am and I have a big presentation tomorrow. I should probably try to get some sleep. I miss you so much. What I would give to trade places with you. Goodnight Kinhthi...



You have been on my mind lately...

February 6, 2021
Your mother and I have been discussing the afterlife more frequently. She has found a series that describes the connection between the two worlds (the living and the non-living). The concept is based on people's account of their experience with their children who had passed while under hypnosis. This is very real for her.

As you know I have always had a hard time with this way of thinking. The mere concept of God is something that I still struggle with today. That being said. The notion that at some point in my existence, that I will be with you again, gives me comfort. I hope that over time I can add peace, as well. 

I still find it so difficult some days to do anything productive. I feel that I am trying to walk upstream against a current and I've found myself stuck in an eddy and can't move forward. Knowing that the only way to move forward is to accept your death and move on.  I just can't Kinhthi. 

Your mother has said she has seen you in her dreams. Which has provided her with some comfort. I have not yet experienced it. I have talked with a friend of mine who claims she can talk with the dead. But honestly, I just don't buy it. 

I am tormented by the very fact that when asked, how many kids do I have, I need to take time to think about how to respond. I am going through the motions of creating awareness of the fentanyl crisis and doing what I can to help others in my situation. But honestly Kinhthi, I come across as in control and positive, but in reality, I am slowly dying inside.  

I know now that I am in a depressed state. The feeling of hopelessness is like being in a straight jacket that I do not have the skills (or will for that matter) to escape. I suppose the time has come for me to seek professional help since everything I do now is affected by these thoughts. I just am unsure how productive it will be. But I guess I'll give it a try.

They say to look for a sign of your presence. Everyone seems to what to look for. I haven't figured it out yet. I need to know you are ok. I don't want to hear it from someone else. I want to feel it for myself!!!

I miss you so much. You left before I could tell you so many things about life. You had such a bright future. Stripped away in a single pill. 



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