For many years, I knew him as my brother’s best friend. When he moved away, it was tremendously hard for both him and my brother, who had just formed a very close friendship with one another. I had never seen two people whose minds were so in sync and their humor was only understandable to them. Despite being many miles apart, they took every opportunity to contact each other, whether it was playing their favorite video games, or through late night phone calls. I would constantly hear stories about Kinhthi throughout the years and it was obvious to me and my family that Kinhthi was a special and dear friend to my brother, and I later had the pleasure of getting to know him and call him a best friend.
My first interaction with Kinhthi was after he had just rode a ripstik down a very steep hill and fell off right at the bottom. There were many wounds over his body, and I helped treat them and patch them with gauze bandages. I was surprised by his spontaneity and his reaction at the end of his fall. He did not seem anxious or worried at all, and instead he was laughing it off, eager to see his friends’ reaction. It may have not been the best idea, but I always admired his free spirit, and spur-of-the-moment way of living.
The next time I saw him was the following year on New Year’s eve. My brother and I had our own separate friends groups at the time, but we decided to all hang out and go to seven eleven. It was the first time I had been in Kinhthi’s iconic Subaru and it felt strange being in a car driven by someone I only knew as my brother’s friend. I would have never imagined that so many more profound and wholehearted memories would be made in that car, and the stranger in the front seat would end up being the person who would relieve me from a state of loneliness and feeling incomplete and the person who would change my life for the better.
The following year, Kinhthi moved back to California and my brother convinced him to join the Marching band. Naturally, he and I became very close while spending many hours together in rehearsals. He made tedious four hour long rehearsals fun and enjoyable because of his very amusing sense of humor and wit. No one I had ever met made me laugh the way Kinhthi did, and he had the ability to light up a room and draw everyone’s attention. He was loved by everyone that had met him because he was so carefree and transparent with people.
Kinhthi had made such a profound impact on my life when he moved here. Our friendship was so special and I truly never connected with someone the same way I did with him and some of the most important conversations and memories in my life were shared with him. He understood me on another level compared to anyone else I talked to. He always knew what I meant and he always knew what to say. I had always had a problem opening up to people, but with him, he was someone I could confide in during my most difficult times. He had such a deep sense of empathy and the most thoughtful person I knew. These were traits so hard to find in people, and before him, I didn’t have many close friends. Kinhthi entering my life truly felt like a miracle.
There are so many things I love about Kinhthi. Firstly, he’s highly opinionated and he has a favorite everything. And he was so vocal about what he liked that so many things were associated with him because he loved it. All of his friends knew how his favorite song was What You Won’t Do For Love, how his favorite pizza place was Pizzanos, how his favorite movie was Lost in Translation, or how his favorite celebrity was Sporty Spice. Kinhthi was someone who would get deeply passionate about things, whether it was an activity like bike riding to the beach or meditation, or a song or film, and most importantly, he was passionate towards his friendships.
Another thing I love about Kinhthi is the way he made me feel when he was around. Every time I’d see him at school waiting outside my classroom or at lunch, the feeling of stress and resentment towards school was lifted off of me because I knew he was there. I’d get so excited when he’d come over to my house and I was eager to hang out with him all the time. He had this extraordinary way of turning your mood around and making you feel genuinely happy. I would always invite him to come to do boring tasks with me because I knew he would make them so much more enjoyable. He made me feel my thoughts were validated and that my opinions mattered. I could always tell him anything that was on my mind and he’d have the most sincere responses.
In addition, I love how sporadic and carefree he was. There are many memories of Kinhthi around of crowd of people doing something entertaining, whether it was doing his classic “Kinhthi spin”, jumping over a 4ft tall pole, dancing in front of the entire school during lunch, or vigorously shaking his butt to live music. I was so happy that the guy in the center of the crowd was my best friend. I had so many videos of him on my phone, and I showed them so many other people because I wanted everyone to know that that extremely hilarious and unorthodox guy everyone knew was someone I was close to.
Kinhthi was always open to getting to know people and making friends. I really admired how he would go out of his way to make people not feel alone. He was the one to make sure all his friends were okay and he would say things like, we should let this person sit with us at lunch, or we should invite this person to hang out with us more. He himself knew the pain of isolation, and he did whatever he could to make people feel welcomed and accepted. Kinhthi never cared about status and did not have a judgmental bone in his body. He could make friends with anyone, no matter how old or “cool” you were, and Kinhthi saw good qualities in everyone he met. In our last conversation, he told me about a homeless woman he had met who served in the army for 20 years and how they had a long and meaningful conversation. She didn’t have a cell phone and Kinhthi helped her try and find her son. He had no way of staying in contact with her, and he told me he was genuinely sad he was never going to see her again and it was the best he had felt in so long. Kinhthi always had a way of connecting with people and his profound words always left a lasting impact.
I think the thing I loved most about Kinhthi was his transparency. Better than anyone else I knew, Kinhthi was the best at being himself. The way he was in public or around people was genuinely the person he was, and he was never trying to appear as someone he wasn’t. Everything about him was authentic and unfiltered. He never sugar coated anything, and he didn’t say what you wanted to hear, but what you needed to hear. The best advice he’s ever given to me was to be completely candid and transparent with people and things you say should truly reflect how you feel. Kinhthi was never trying to please people, he just did things to have fun and enjoy life. I’ve always been afraid to be vulnerable, but with Kinthi, I could be completely candid and open up about whatever I was dealing with. His advice I will carry with me for my entire life and because of him, I know it’s okay to be myself.
Whenever I thought about my future, I’d imagine him in it. There’s a lot of friends that have come and gone in my life, but I knew that our friendship could last a lifetime. We’d always talk about how our friendship was something we never doubted and we had complete faith in each other. Kinhthi would always tell me how much my brother and I meant to him, and I loved how our friendship was never one sided; we were always there for each other and we both held each other in high regard. Kinhthi was always so vocal about how his friends and family meant to him. He would tell me how he was proud he was of his hardworking dad who had overcame many obstacles in his life, he would tell me the incredible story of how his mom moved to America and how he genuinely loved speaking with her on the phone any chance he’d get, and he would tell me how good it felt to form a closer bond with sister over the past year. His friends and family were an essential part of his life, and they were the most important thing to him.
I will never forget the impact Kinhthi has made in my life. I will never forget the way he made me feel, or the meaningful things he’d say. I will never forget all the fun and vibrant memories I shared with him. I feel so lucky to have known him and to even call him a best friend. He brought so much color and joy into my life and how can one person alone make such a dramatic impact on everyone he met? Because he was so influential, you could say there’s a little bit of Kinhthi in all of us. He will always be a reminder to us all that we should strive to be our most genuine self and recognize the good things about others. Kinhthi had always meant the world to me and I will remember everything we shared. Rest peacefully.
