Kothainayagi (affectionately known as Thurai by her family or Kotha by her friends) was born in Sentul Pasar in Kuala Lumpur on the 2nd November 1938 to parents Visuvalingam, s/o Sinnappoo, and Ponnammal, d/o Kandiah.  Her father was born in Jaffna Ceylon in 1903.  Her mother was born in Ceylon in 1918.  Kotha's father was married twice and fathered 10 children, with Kotha being the 4th child from his second marriage.

As a student, Kotha attended the Methodist Girls School in Kuala Lumpur and completed her education in 1955 achieving her Overseas School Certificate A with credits in English, English Literature, Geography and Tamil.

Kotha was recognised in her family as the trend setter (although not intentionally).  She was the first to have a short baby-cut hair style and looked remarkably like the late Audrey Hepburn.  She began wearing bras, which at that time was not something other girls in her community did. 

During her school years, Kotha displayed a keen interest in becoming a Girl Guide and at the age of 12, joined the local Girl Guide Troop.  Kotha showed she also was single minded about doing what was good or best for all and whether her parents allowed it or not, would leave the house for camping and other activities with the Girl Guide and Air Rangers movement.  At the young age of 16, Kotha became a Guide Leader and remained active within the movement into her adult life, later becoming an Air Ranger Leader.

Kotha's desire to help others led her to pursue a career in nursing so at the start of 1956, she moved to Penang to commence her training as a student nurse.

Kotha’s commitment to serving others in the community also was evident at this early age, with family members sharing that one evening whilst visiting her family in Kuala Lumpur, Kotha noticed smoke billowing up in the direction of the now Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman and disappeared for 3 days to help victims of the fire.

In the same year, her brother-in-law (Patham), who was a teacher at the local reform school, asked Kotha to help out at the school’s Scout Troop as an interpreter.  Patham, who had asked a Royal Australian Air Force (RAAF) Scout Leader to attend and lead the occasional meeting, quickly realised that an interpreter was needed and thought Kotha was the perfect choice given her Girl Guide experience as well as language skills.  Upon meeting, Peter and Kotha realised they were both passionate about helping others and together, they established a number of other troops and this was the beginning of their love story.

During their courtship, both Kotha and Peter had to overcome a significant amount of resistance to their relationship by both parents and the RAAF, however, their love for each other remained strong and on the 4th April 1959, they were married at St George’s Anglican Church in George Town Penang.

Kotha’s independent streak continued and will be remembered for a trip she took on her Honda motorbike from Penang to Ulu Selangor (which at that time was a communist infested rural area) to visit her sister Chelva, and then onto Kuala Lumpur to visit her parents.  It was a long way from Penang and the country was not really developed, with many winding roads passing through several states!  Her sister Chelva commented that “even men would not risk the journey: what if there had been a puncture or whatever.  She was unaccompanied and knew no one along the way.”  Such concerns never seemed important to Kotha. 

Following their marriage, Kotha and Peter moved into temporary accommodation provided by the RAAF at Fettes Park in Tanjung Tokong before moving into permanent accommodation at Taman Green Lane.  It wasn't long before Kotha discovered that she was pregnant and on the 2nd February 1960, their son Trevor David was born.

Peter’s Air Force career meant that together they would move locations often over the next 17 years. 

Peter was due to be posted back to Australia in late 1960 however, to take Kotha with him as his wife, he would have to become an Australian citizen.  After submitting his application and passing the required test, obtained his Australian citizenship and the family was subsequently posted back to Australia and departed Penang on the Dutch ship ‘Johan Van Oldenbarnevelt’ in December 1960 for the 14-day voyage to Brisbane.

By this time, Kotha was already pregnant with their second son and Andrew Stephen was born on 13 May 1961 in Nelson’s Bay, NSW. 

On 14 January 1963, Peter was posted to RAAF Base Richmond in NSW and Kotha was again pregnant, this time with their daughter Leila Rani who was born in Windsor on 14 March 1963. 

On 27 August 1965 Kotha became an Australian Citizen. 

On 1 February 1966, Peter and Kotha moved to Perth and this is where Kotha discovered her enterprising spirit and began delivering bread in a van, and selling Tupperware. 

Peter was posted to Ubon, Thailand from 30 June 1966 to 3 January 1967, but Kotha remained in Perth with Trevor, Andrew and Leila.

In 1968, Kotha took her children to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia for a year, so that they could get to know her parents and extended family.  During this time, Kotha attempted to teach her children Tamil, and they also attended Indian Dance classes.  It was unfortunate that upon returning to Australia, these cultural experiences were lost.  

After returning to Perth in 1969, the family moved to Penang, Malaysia on 19 July 1971 as Peter was posted to RAAF Base Butterworth.  This was where Peter and Kotha first met so it was familiar territory, but this time three children were in train so many trips were taken to introduce the children to another culture, as well as spending time with Kotha’s family in Kuala Lumpur and Singapore.  Kotha’s love of the unusual even meant the children had a pet monkey instead of the usual dog.  

In January 1974, the family moved to Williamtown, NSW.  Doing new and diverse things did not phase Kotha, and her latest business adventure was to begin a party plan business.  This was so popular that Kotha later opened a business called Karika Imports, first in King Street, then in New Lambton before finally opening a shop in Mayfield.  

Both Kotha and Peter believed in multiculturalism and having experienced coming to a foreign land in the 1960’s, Kotha found herself helping others settle into Australian life.  Kotha taught herself Japanese and would visit incoming Japanese ships (along with the children) and welcome the sailors to Newcastle by taking them out for day trips around the Hunter Valley.

Peter was posted to Glenbrook in February 1977, but Kotha stayed in Newcastle with the children till Peter was discharged from the RAAF in December 1977.

At this time, the family moved to 13 Park Street Mayfield where the family spent many years together and many memories were created.  

Kotha became one of the early members of the Tamil Sangam group and would organise many events for the local Tamil community.  

By 1982, all of the children had left home, and Kotha and Peter opened their home to many Indian students.  On more than one occasion, Peter thought about getting a motel sign as one student left, another arrived and they could never be called empty nesters.

With Peter now working at Karika Imports, Kotha started volunteering at the Mater Hospital one day a week and driving patients to and from their appointments.

After closing the Karika Imports business in 2004, Kotha continued her lifelong commitment to community service and in addition to her work at the Mater Hospital, she became involved with the Mater Hospice pushing the 'drink trolley'.  Kotha also volunteered with Accorn and started teaching English as a second language through the Salvation Army.  Kotha even completed her formal qualification in Teaching English as a Second Language (TESOL) with the hope that in retirement, she could continue travelling the world and doing some work for pocket money along the way. 

Given her adventurous spirit, in 2008 it was only fitting that on her 70th birthday, Kotha would take to the skies and fly a glider (under instruction of course) and two years later, Kotha and Peter climbed the storey bridge in Brisbane as another birthday treat.

In 2009, at the aged of 71 when most people are enjoying retirement and a quieter life, Kotha decided she wanted to move into a larger house at Fern Bay and went about overseeing the building of their final home at 16 Paperbark Court in Fern Bay.

Kotha’s first encounter with cancer was in 2009.  Never wanting to be a bother to others, very few people were told about this cancer.  Her cancerous appendix was subsequently removed but in August 2012, cancer was to present itself again.  After a series of chemotherapy between August 2012 and January 2013, Kotha opted for an operation in May 2013 to remove the cancer at the RPA hospital in Sydney.   

Kotha spent 6 months in the RPA before being moved back to Newcastle in October 2013.  Kotha was able to spend her 75th birthday at home in Fern Bay with family and friends and it was a real celebration of the amazing journey she had been on and her strength and courage throughout.  

In December 2013, further scans confirmed that new cancers were now present and that there were no further medical options.  Kotha was moved to the Mater Hospice and joked about whether she would need to make herself a Christmas decoration – something she had done for all Hospice patients for many years.   

Kotha was well enough to enjoy day visits to the Fern Bay house in December and early January and enjoyed having the family together for one last Christmas and New Year.  

Whilst Kotha had been previously presented with a 15 year service pin in 2011 in recognition for her commitment to the Mater Hospital and Hospice, in January 2014, Kotha was nominated for Australian of the Year and also Local Hero of the Year through the Port Stephens Council.  For a lady who had always preferred to shun the limelight, it was quite a surprise to receive these nominations in the final months of her life.

Whilst she did not win these accolades, one volunteer at the hospice said what many felt – that Kotha was a humble soul who had a profound wholesome effect on those around her.  Kotha once said that she liked to think that she only gave people what they needed, so she would have appreciated that others felt she had made a difference in their lives, far more than any award.   

In her final days, Kotha said she had a full life with no regrets and felt very blessed. 

Kotha passed away on 21 January 2014, surrounded by family and friends.  

She left behind her loving family in husband Peter; children - Trevor and wife Anita, Andrew, Leila and husband Steven; grandchildren - Jordan, Isaac, Theresa, Grace, Amber, Olivia and Sally; and great-grandchildren - Amelia, Micah and Oliver.

Kotha touched many lives and will be greatly missed by her family and friends.