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Gone but not forgotten

May 18, 2019

Hmmmm egbon mi, you would have been 50 years old yesterday and it’s exactly a year today that you joined your creator. Filling the void is very difficult but it's essential in order to move forward in life because we know you are in a better place and you would have wanted us to move on. You are gone from planet earth but not forgotten. My husband, Ife and I reminisce a lot and wish we could turn the clock backward just to see that gentle smile and hear that calm voice of yours.

Continue to rest in the bosom of your creator!

Omo Mupa asayan

Omo alegun ma deyin

Omo Ina gba rerè

Omo ina joko jodo

Omo akeni gbo keru ba ara ọnọ

Omo agbon ofuru.

Sunre ooooo.

Gifted Kunle

May 18, 2019

Kunle, when he came into your life he never left; no matter how much time passed since you spoke or saw him it did not change anything; so many of his friends eluded to that;  very hard to deal with the fact that he is no longer here; such a unique person; a really great one in fact; the greatest gift we have is love;  if you really knew Kunle you could not help but love him; you loved him because you were compelled to love him at no fault of his own but because there was no other way;  his spirit and presence.  Rest in perfect peace Kunle.

Our Brother In Alpha

May 17, 2019

Kunle is heavy on my heart and mind today.  

I love you Kunle and think about you often.  you are so very missed.  Thank you for allowing me to be part of your journey.

I had the honor of being Kunle's friend and Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity brother.  I pledged Alpha the semester after Kunle and he served as my Assistant Dean of Pledges (ADP).  In our fraternity this means that he played an important role in guiding me into the brotherhood; serving as my mentor, teacher, protector, psychologist, sounding board and sometimes my tormentor.  He was a particularly deficient tormentor.  I came to find out over the years that he could actually be quite an effective tormentor, if required.  I was in fact spared only because of his affection for me.  

There is a poem called "If" by Rudyard Kipling that is meaningful to our pledge process.  Kunle loved this poem.  He had me recite it more times than I can count!  One of our brothers recited it at Kunle's memorial service in Baltimore.  I think that Kunle loved the poem because it speaks to attributes, characteristics, principles and values that he admired, aspired to achieve and embodied.  The poem "If" will forever make me think of Kunle and on this day, in remembrance of him,  I'd like to share it again.    

If

If you can keep your head when all about you   

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

I also want to share the following letter from the brothers of the Sigma Sigma chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha that was meant to be read at Kunle's service in Nigeria.  

"The Brothers of Sigma Sigma Chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Incorporated, offer our deepest condolences to the family and friends of our dearly departed Brother, Adekunle Fagbenle.

It was a shock to our collective senses when we received word that our friend and brother left this Earth behind on May 18, 2018.It has been difficult to move beyond our utter disbelief in order to reflect, ponder and fully understand Kunle’s profound impact on our lives.

At 20 years of age, Kunle presented himself to be considered for initiation into our brotherhood.  Kunle had an undeniable presence.  Kunle was a bear of a man. Tall with an uproarious laughter that shook his entire being and infected everyone around him. Adekunle was a force beyond belief.  His imposing stature was tempered by a gentle spirit and brilliant, infectious and engaging smile.He was kind, courteous, confident, ambitious, intelligent, scholarly, well-travelled and well-read.Through his words and deeds he demonstrated a commitment to the goals of our fraternity; manly deeds, scholarship and love for all mankind.  Kunle was a young man with limitless potential, worthy of our fraternal bond.

Kunle was pledged and initiated into the Pi Theta chapter at Coppin State College in Baltimore, Maryland, where he attended school, in the spring of 1991. He crossed the burning sands that mark the path to our brotherhood following the same rights of passage as brothers like Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Thurgood Marshall, Jesse Owens and all other Alpha brothers that preceded him, proving himself along his journey to be a man with mental and physical strength, integrity and unquestionable intestinal fortitude. In the fall of that same year he was instrumental in the founding of the Sigma Sigma chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha by a group of brothers from his chapter attending nearby Johns Hopkins University.

Time would prove Adekunle to be one of the very best among us.  Kunle served as a role model and mentor to many and an inspiration and shining example of what the promise of true brotherhood is for all of us.He was the quintessential “hard worker” who managed to get everything done, seamlessly balancing his scholastic and fraternal obligations with his entrepreneurial ambitions. He even merged his competing responsibilities in the early 1990s when he employed dozens of his fraternity brothers at college campuses throughout Maryland as sales representatives for a successful communications company that he founded while still a student.  Kunle embraced change as opportunity, lived fearlessly, and successfully reinvented himself repeatedly throughout his life. We knew him as an undergraduate studying political science, a business man amassing wealth and setting up a million dollar paging business, a car dealer, a law school student, a day trader, a telecommunications executive, an international lawyer and real estate mogul.As we aged and our families grew he expanded his role in our lives as “uncle” Kunle to our children.Through each incarnation, he remained always our loyal friend and loving brother.

Brother Adekunle Fagbenle will be missed by all who know and love him. He is the first of our number to enter Omega chapter, which is the chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha dedicated to our deceased brethren.  Kunle holds a special place in all our hearts and gifted all who were fortunate enough to spend time with him with treasured memories.As devastating as this news has been, we can only imagine that Brother Kunle is in a better place forging his own path. Family and friends, we share your anguish over Kunle’s untimely death.  But, for all of us that were ever on the receiving end of his brilliant smile or his unrestrained belly laugh, we know that although Kunle has left us too soon, it was not before leaving his mark on numerous lives. We offer our most sincere condolences to all of you and will keep you in or prayers.

May our Brother rest in peace and guide us all from the world beyond in all that we do.

The Brothers of Sigma Sigma Chapter".

REST IN PEACE KUNLE!



From Evan Wolff

April 18, 2019
by Ade G

Kunle came to my house over a year ago and my son still talks about my great and mighty friend Kunle.  

I was lucky to spend three years in law school during which we studied hard and ate good meals, usually fried fish. There was no better classmate then him, his smile and perspective would always lift your spirit. We also bought, rehabbed and rented a few houses together.  There was no better business partner then him.  

I had the fortune of staying with his uncle when I visited Nigeria for a work trip.  I will always remember Kunle’s excitement and love of Nigeria, and concern for my safety.  Although we did not always stay in regular contact, he was always a loved and cherished friend.  His loss is more than significant for me, anyone who met him and the world.

From Ali Salami

April 18, 2019
by Ade G

My name is Ali Salami; I just want to tell you that Kunle was a friend, more than a friend, a brother. Indeed, we met for the first time in Lomé, Togo in 1996, in a telecommunications project (ATN-African Telecommunication Network).

Although Kunlé is younger than me, he had become my model because of his experience and aspiration to success. I have just found another brother whom I introduced to my family. My arrival in the USA was not easy, but the financial assistance, the moral support and the advice of Kunle have made me who I am today. Here, I cannot tell everything in one message, what Kunle did for me. 

We have lost a man, a great man with big heart, an unprecedented coach for me. Since our meeting, more serious and deeper memories connect me to him, so full of life, projects and ideas to succeed in his professional and family life. 

That extraordinary man always full of joy, audacious and generous, I will never forget! Like all those who have been around him and have been seduced by his endearing personality. 

Accept the testimony of my deep friendship for the one I considered a brother. 

Rest in peace, Kunle

Birthdays

September 20, 2018
by Ade G

So, you know it was Justin’s 10th birthday. It was a bittersweet day, BK. 

Liz is amazing as always! Organising a great day out for the kids to Go Ape, and we all went for a picnic in the park afterwards. Justin, Tami, their cousins, uncle and friends spent the afternoon tearing around after each other and playing ball games. 

The adults chatted, laughed and teased - it was great fun but with an undercurrent of the hole we feel without you here. 

Justin cut his cake, we sang him happy birthday in our traditional way and he blew out his candles. He put a brave face on with all the smiles, laughter and love around but he missed, and misses, you terribly. 

We spoke of you, and what he loved most about birthdays with you and the fun you had, and his memories of your birthdays with him, and smiled a lot. We spoke of what he thinks you are doing now, and how he can talk with you, whenever, wherever, whatever. No tears, just hugs and smiles and reassurances. 

We miss you, my brother - your booming voice, your smile, just knowing you are here and close. And so we carry on.

From Baltimore Business Journal - Dec 16-22, 1994

June 18, 2018

Enjoy this one.

RIP Dekunle.

June 18, 2018

Your community at Coppin University, Baltimore, MD and your fraternity brothers were so proud of you and the opportunity to know and be associated with such a wonderful, charming and generous man.

They were grateful to the entire Fagbenle family for sharing such a gem with them.

Rest in peace ‘Dekunle.

Smile and a giant stride

June 9, 2018

If my memory doesn’t fail me, I’m sure the last funeral I attended in Nigeria was that of Grandpa Fagbenle. I remember small details about it very well, and one in particular I will share, which is uncle Kunle definitely gave me a taste of my first beer it was a Guinness, I was persistent, and after a while of saying no, he let me pick up the glass and take a swig. I immediately spat it out and must have had a horrible expression on my face. He took the glass and he laughed this great laugh I can still hear, and said kini mo so fun e. Today that beer is without a doubt my favorite beer and I shall definitely drink one in your honor. 

What Can I say about Adekunle that hasn’t already been said cousin,big uncle, advice giver, personal lawyer, and gentle giant, except when he has to litigate, then he’s not as gentle. I always feel kind of bad for the thought of someone  having to litigate against him, due to his physical stature alone that battle is already lost and then to having argue your point against him...good luck. He has gotten me out of my share of problems, even as far as to get a case dismissed on my behalf. 

I’m the type when something is wrong with me you will know immediately on my face, whereas uncle Kunle always took everything thrown at him with a smile and a giant stride. He gave advice to follow your ambitions now rather than wait, and to do it with haste because who knows what tomorrow holds, He gave companionship advice like he did with koye but he told me to marry for love not money O. 

They say giants are supposed to live long, but there is no one immune to problems much like there is no one immune to death and Kunle will surely live in eternity in heaven and his memory will live forever on earth in the lives he had touched.

 So on this day that we send you off I will do my best to take your absence with a smile and giant stride knowing whenever I need you will always be there. A ma pade ara wa ni ese Jesu. I love you uncle Kunle.


EULOGY - Mr ADEKUNLE FAGBENLE - Read by O-T Fagbenle

June 8, 2018
by Ade G

Ah, Kunle could bring people together - with his 60million mega watt smile and that laugh that would delight you. Son, father, husband, brother, cousin, uncle, friend and extraordinary in his many achievements, Kunle was, and continued to be for all his life, greatly loved and admired. The road here? It wasn’t easy.

Adekunle Fagbenle was born in Lagos Nigeria to Titi Ekisola, in her family home.

The first of 12 children of Mr Tunde Fagbenle, Kunle was the first of many in numerous ways. It is difficult to do justice in this brief time to the boy and man that Kunle was, but I will try.

Kunle was born on 17th May 1969 to star-crossed lovers whose union was not meant to last. The baby became a young boy in the bosom of his mother’s family until the age of 3, when he was reunited with his father with whom he lived until the tragedy that was his siblings’ mother’s death. A distraught and distressed Tunde took the 7 year old Kunle and his siblings, Banke and Dokun and packed them off to respective family members: Banke and Dokun to Uncle Layi in Ibadan, and Kunle to his maternal grandmother’s in Lagos. Kunle loved Alade Edu, as he affectionately called her, deeply… she was his first true love.

Though the young Kunle was adored and cared for by his grandma and cousins - he was confused, and felt terribly abandoned. The father he worshipped, had gone in an instant, and he had been stripped away from his beloved younger siblings. It was a such a difficult time for the young child, and the road was not to get much easier. Kunle lived intermittently with his father’s and mother’s family until 1983 when he permanently moved from his mother’s to live with his father and his new wife, Ally Bedford, who Kunle loved dearly and affectionately came to call MOTA - in the fabled 5, Morris St., Yaba, Lagos.

Morris St. was an open house, and here Kunle was the centre of it in many ways. His cousin Lola became firm friends with Kunle, and he developed and nurtured close relationships with his other Ayeni cousins. Notably, he grew very close to his Uncle Dotun, his father’s younger brother - with whom he found a kindred mischievous spirit.

Morris saw the young boy become a young man. He cultivated his love for fashion, music (Diana Ross and Michael Jackson were two of his favourites - and Kunle loved to dance) and darts. And as he shot up in height, he developed a love for food, claiming his alarming rate of growth meant he need extra portions of everything to feed his starving frame!

The fire in Kunle’s belly burned bright but his nomadic and unstable childhood had left an indelible mark on the sensitive young man.

His feelings of loss meant that Kunle loved intensely and with a passion, he also needed to be loved… and seen. He feared abandonment and rejection and clung tightly to those he loved, Kunle was such a loyal soul. The conflict in his heart played out in many ways: some funny, some dangerous, always daring and all belying that spark of ingenuity that was the mark of the man. He would play pranks on his peers, family and strangers wherever he saw fit. He never saw why rules needed to be followed to the letter, and would look for ways to challenge the boundaries where possible.

Although troublesome, Kunle was ambitious and sought ways to make an impression wherever he could. He was an extrovert, a physically expressive and consummate actor - you couldn’t help but be mesmerised as he recited the verses from his favourite Shakespeare play ‘Julius Caesar’. Then of course there were his numerous escapades, ‘borrowing’ his uncle Layi’s motorcycle and car at the age of 14 and teaching himself to drive… and crashing of course.

Kunle was possessed of a fierce intellect, but it was one that required nurturing to stimulate. By the time he moved in with his father, it was clear that the schooling system had failed him. As unbelievable as it is for those who know Kunle, he struggled in his learning - he would play truant often… he was just not motivated to study, nor was he in a school that fostered his growth.

This was all to change. His father had entered a new relationship with a determined table-tennis champion, Engore Toun. Antoun (as she’s known) knew someone who pulled the strings to get Kunle into St. Finbarr’s - the school that transformed his life.

There he made firm friends with Charles and Harrison Molen, and Tayo Agbe-Davies, these were to become lifelong friendships, amongst others from Finbarr’s. He also made friends in the neighbourhood, and you would often find him, Charles, Lola and Lolade taking trips to the ice cream parlour, ignoring the begging and pleading of his younger siblings to tag along. Ah, but Kunle was very protective of his siblings! Even when shooing them away he had his eagle eye on everything they did, following them wherever possible, trying to prevent all upset.

The gap in Kunle’s education meant his father, fiercely opposed by Kunle, took the decision to drop him back from Form 4, to Form 3. This was a calamity for Kunle who already stood head and shoulders above his 15 year old peers. To be sent back to Form 3 with his juniors? No. That was a humiliation too far, a huge blow to a proud, handsome young man, but was nevertheless the spark he needed to become the man he was destined to be.

Kunle’s father and Antoun made him several promises of money and a ticket to America if he aced his exams. As soon as Kunle was told this - that was it. It was like a light had been switched on and Kunle revealed his brilliance. Form 4 saw Kunle - who was well behind his peers - fly well beyond them. By the age of 16, the leader that Kunle was meant to be began to take a front and centre position. He became a prefect in his final year, and was pleased as punch that he had his own office and key. He breezed through his exams, gaining straight As.

Kunle had come into his own. An intellectual giant, leader and man of the people.

During all of this, Kunle discovered a new love. Basketball. He dreamed of becoming like the Nigerian superstar basketball player, Hakeem ‘the Dream’ Olajuwon. He even had a pair of sneakers signed by the Dream himself, that he held dear. At 6’6 and 17 years of age, Kunle fancied himself flying to America and playing in the NBA, so the promised tickets to America held that dream. The visa process was arduous, but Kunle’s father persevered and Kunle was finally surprised one evening with a visa and tickets to travel to the States with his father - oh how Kunle rejoiced! His father recalls him hitting his head against the ceiling fan in his joy!

In January 1988 following his graduation from St. Finbarr’s, Kunle flew to America with his dad, initially staying with his Uncle Supo in New York. Kunle was touted from high school to high school until one thing became crystal clear: despite his height, Kunle was not built for basketball!

But we know of Kunle’s doggedness and determination - he was going to make it, and if it wasn’t basketball, it’d be his brains. He persuaded his father to let him move from New York to Baltimore to stay with his childhood friend Charles who had moved to the States a year earlier. Charles, Kunle and later Harrison lived together in Baltimore for two years. The three of them were brothers and thick as thieves, hailing each other with the fond nickname ‘egbe’ when they needed to make a quick exit after some escapade or another.

Once Kunle was settled he insisted his father send his younger brother, Seyi, to live with him in Baltimore - this insistence was typical. Kunle loved hard, and he loved big.

In the USA, the feathers in Kunle’s cap grew exponentially. He exemplified scholarship, excellence and achievement in all areas. The ambitious young man, whilst studying for his first degree at Coppin State University, became a multi award-winning business-man, making and losing two fortunes before the age of 25. Alongside his successful businesses, Kunle was President of the Coppin Student Senate in 1990, holding this position for 2 consecutive terms. Kunle was a pathfinder, an entrepreneur extraordinaire and a man of grand vision.

At the heart of all of this however, remained the gentle and compassionate soul that Kunle was- he took care of people whenever and wherever he could.

Renowned for never forgetting a birthday, he made the effort to let his loved ones know how he loved them and thought of them often. To top it off, he was generous to a fault. The tales of Kunle stepping forward to be there, financially, physically or emotionally for others abound. From mentoring young entrepreneurs, to ‘dashing’ money to people willy-nilly, to ensuring he showed up at graduations, birthdays, weddings, funerals- whether of friends or family - with that big smile and his arms open. Kunle’s largesse was limitless. If Kunle had - you had. He delighted in surprising loved ones with unexpected gifts and parties. Ah, and Kunle could throw a party! He loved to have a good time, and to offer this to others also.

Kunle was an honourable man. This sense of honour and desire to make an impact in the world led him in the Spring of 1991 to pledge to the prestigious Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Inc. Once again, Kunle discovered his brothers for life, and found Kobi Little, who became his best friend and confidante. Even as a pledge amongst other examples of excellence - Kunle stood out. His regal kindness and enduring loyalty brought out the best in his brothers, and the admiration of his AKA sorority sisters. It was during his Pledge to the Alphas that Kunle was taught ‘If’, the poem by Rudyard Kipling -the Alpha mantra for reflection and wisdom. You have heard this poem today, and all who knew Kunle will testify that it speaks truly to the heart of the man.

For Kunle, family was perhaps the thing that exemplified him the most. Kunle was a family man. He adored his family. His numerous cousins, parents and siblings were the jewel in his crown and he could be heard to boast proudly of them when he spoke to others. He cared variously for his younger siblings and insisted on standing in for his father when his father’s wife Buki went into labour with his younger sister Temi, in 1992. He sang Buki songs and soothed her through the pains; that he could do that on behalf of his father brought Kunle great pride and joy.

Kunle loved his family deeply, but he also loved the land that had nurtured him to manhood. America was truly the land of promise for Kunle and where half his heart lay, until the disaster that was 9-11. A draconian review of immigrants to the US was conducted and an inconsistency in his history meant that, in 2002, Kunle was asked to leave the country and reapply for his citizenship from outside the US. This was devastating for him.

Recently graduated Juris Doctor in Law at the University of Maryland, and having being the first lawyer of Nigerian descent to receive a Professional Legal Excellence Award in the USA, as well as embarking on several new business ventures - his promise was cut brutally short, he was forced to leave the US without a penny to his name. Though Kunle’s American Dream was not to be realised, he had blazed a magnificent trail and his many siblings and nephew boldly followed. Kunle’s siblings truly stood on the shoulders of a giant.

Kunle moved to the UK that year to begin the process of reapplying, certain he would be back to the States in a few months, but the Bush administration remained stubborn and slow in their processes - and Kunle found himself having to start all over again which as always, he did with great determination and aplomb. Kunle strove to establish himself quickly in the UK and his personable nature garnered him fast friendships; we pay our respects to two of his dearest, Justin and Kunlo, who sadly also passed on recently.

Kunle was a romantic. Some people assumed Kunle would be a ladies’ man given all his attributes and talents, but this was not so. Typically he was shy around women, if however, he fixed in on one who he felt was his match, he made no bones about making it clear that she, and only she, was the focus of his amour. Kunle loved hard, and he loved well. He met his wife-to-be Liz in 2006 and wooed her doggedly. Here was a woman of great beauty, a caring nature, an intellect and a charm to match his - she was the one and there was no way he was letting her go!

With Liz, Kunle was blessed to have his adoration of family transform in the most beautiful way when he had children of his own. Our prince, Justin Alexander was born in September 2008, and you could not have seen a more chuffed father. Kunle’s warrior princess Tamilore Gabrielle followed in March 2011, by which time Kunle and Liz had returned to live in the States.

Ah but Kunle adored his children! Being a father was the peak of his personal achievements and he wanted to provide his children with a life he didn’t have, and make them unerringly proud of their father, and of their lineage. This desire to reach the highest of heights for his children had bittersweet results.

Kunle threw everything into gaining the fortune, status and prestige that he knew was rightfully his - to the detriment of time spent with his children. When he could, he would dote on Justin and Tami, and they adored him too. However, his inconsistent presence in their lives and inability to give them a life of leisure was a great source of sorrow for Kunle, he would tell himself that eventually his efforts would bear incredible fruit and he could be the ever-present father he’d always imagined himself to be.

In 2014, he moved back to Nigeria to pursue his fortunes where he felt at home and where he felt that he could win - and win big - for the sake of his family, and threw himself into the rat race.

Though Kunle was incredibly popular and sociable, his apartment full of people… there was a sense that he still felt alone. The ghosts of his childhood continued to haunt him as a man and he battled these fiercely, sometimes losing and sometimes winning, but never giving up. Kunle always had one scheme or another on the go, another way to make the fortune he sought, and get the recognition he deserved.

Kunle was persuasive and many of his ideas were ingenious, but the fates being what they are, determined that Kunle must continue to be forged in fire.

In the last months of his life, Kunle began the ambitious journey into politics, embarking on a career he felt he was built for, and one in which he could make the greatest influence, including changing the lives of people who had been unjustly treated. The combination of his business interests and intention to run for office was stressful.

The time his business and ambition were taking up meant that in the last few months of his life, Kunle stopped playing the tennis he so enjoyed and rarely spent time with his friends in leisurely pursuits. Kunle was determined that his ambition to enter politics would be realised, though many feared that his gentle nature was not meant for such a ruthless pursuit.

Sweet though he was, Kunle could be known to flare up bitterly at the injustice of it all, and in the same breath say ‘ah, but I am trusting and thanking God’. And it was God who provided him strength in the last few years of his life.

Kunle’s cautious but determined rediscovery of his Christian faith- following a history of philosophical musings on the nature of God, religion, and belief -was a quiet one, he truly wanted to know God for himself and without the trappings of expectation.

Never one for consistent church-going, Kunle began more and more to dedicate his precious time to worship and prayer, in which he found great solace.

In Nigeria, he regularly went to church with Antoun, with whom the bond had deepened. In fact, the Saturday 13th May before his birthday, Kunle accompanied Antoun to church and mischievously got up when the minister called for the ‘May babies’ to come to the front… taking his place amongst all the young children…. ‘am I not a May baby too?’ he said.

On his birthday, May 17th 2018 - Kunle seemed to be more preoccupied than usual. He dashed in and out of Ikoyi Club where his friends were waiting to celebrate with him, and let them know he had not time that day, but on another day they would celebrate properly.

On May 18th 2018, Kunle’s father received the call that is indelible in his and my memory. Kunle calling from Nigeria to let his father know he was having a medical emergency. Confusion ensued, and people were dispatched here there and everywhere to attend to Kunle, to no avail. Kunle - father, son, brother, cousin, nephew and friend passed away that night at 11:15pm from hypovolaemic shock.

This feels like an unconscionable injustice. How does a man with so much to live for, so much to gain, and so adored and admired get snatched away so cruelly? We may never know, but we should let Kunle’s mantra when he hit tough times ring on in our ears ‘I am trusting and thanking God’.

Kunle’s legacy will forever live on, in us, in his extended family and friends, the many lives he influenced, and most of all in his beautiful children, Justin and Tami.

And so we gather today, to salute Adekunle Abayomi Olalekan Fagbenle for all that he was: heartbroken boy, mischievous teen, groundbreaking young man, mesmerising presence, pathfinder, majestic soul, ever loving son, husband, father, brother, cousin, uncle, friend. Big Brother Kunle, rest well. We salute you.

The Soul of Kunle:

June 7, 2018

The Soul of Kunle:

We are all feeling the Soul of Kunle now! Let us all look at Kunle as a soul that enters the earth school and lives when it chooses. 
Kunle, as a little ship has defied fear!He decided to show Love, Compassion and Protection; he has sailed in the direction of his mother ship in other to prevent catastrophic storm to his life and the lives of those around him.
If we continue to languish in our griefs, we’ll be rejecting all the gifts that Kunle’s soul has given us for 49 years!
Let’s all be grateful that he chose to be with us for a short time. If not, we’ll continually be turning away from the gifts he came to offer and live our lives in anguish and think that a tragedy has occurred; thus imposing on the family a burden to carry.
The match continues!
His Soul lives on! 
RIP our Beloved!
Foluke Fagbenle.

A story from Tomi Osaile

May 30, 2018

Big K is d most generous man I've ever come across in my life. He did a lot for me. As I landed in d UK in 2004, getting into winter, he drove down to mom's house to pick me up in his wine colour Lexus drove me down to a shopping Centre called Brent Cross thinking he was going to get something for himself. He led me through d entrance, up d elevator and then into a boutique full of mens designer leather jacket, he then told me to select any of my choice, I was so amazed. D only jacket which caught my eyes most was a CIRO CITTERIO, black made from from a genuine leather. I tried it on and it was absolutely well fit on my body but checking d price tag, it said £149.99 and I quickly dropped it. I could vividly remember d generous smile on his face while he took d jacket to d til and made payment, I was stunned. He took me back home and getting out of his car, he squeezed five £20 notes into my pocket and drove off. This is d leather jacket stl very well intact. 

May 30, 2018

Finally, out of my futile denial mode. I have been "faithing" the reality that Kunle has transited - too, too early and therefore, so, so painfully. He has departed and that diminishes each of us in diverse personal ways. He has gone with all the possibilities  and hopes that he represents. I sense that we will never live down the pain and the hurt. Yes, time will try and some healing will happen, but the scar in our hearts will always leave a short-cut on the screen of our foreheads. And it will stare back at us with every look in the mirror.  Of course, the sizes will vary but none, no one who ever encountered Kunle will be spared. Yes, Lord, this hurts...deeply, but you cannot be wrong or can you? We cannot love Kunle better than you do, or can we?!

Sleep well

May 29, 2018

Sleep well our gentle giant. And thank you for always ‘making it better

Baltimore MD - September 1992 on my mind...

May 29, 2018

Thank you Adékúnlé, thank you for all you did..with that winning smile and slight belly laughter of yours.  You were too big to ignore, too big to be my ‘son’ as you so proudly stated at your graduation - to my utmost horror and pride! Where does one start? Is it when you took me under your wings as I came to give birth to your baby sister...offering me your room, car and gun to boot! Or when you stood in as her father on the 7th day and named her ‘Titinifa’ to everyone’s amusement and my chagrin? Or when you subsequently planned a surprise party for your dad’s birthday, inviting all your friends to the pent house (it had to be the pent house, didn’t it?) and we lured him there with some c & b story with 2 kids in tow!? Or is it the stories of your abundant love for all your siblings regardless? My heart is very heavy as this loss is too sad to bear. I grieve for many reasons but mostly for what you thought was beyond your reach...if only you could see all the love and outpourings now. Ahhh Adékúnlé, Omo Fagbenle! Iku se ika, o mu eni abafehinti lo!! Thank you for being you. Ipade wa bi Oyin, sunre o. We will be ok but 1 of our 12 is gone and that is the waking nightmare we keep revisiting. We will also be strong for each other as that would be your wish. We will remember your smile, and smile. We will not let you go from our hearts...that would be impossible anyway as you were and are bigger than life. Love always from Mama 6T, as you fondly call me. I MISS you

House President!

May 28, 2018
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Kunle hasn't just just influenced his 11 younger siblings towards greatness he has had a clear impact on the next generation.

In this video message to his nephew Tayari, Kunle encourages Tay to become house president with an incentive of a free flight back to UK every year. Tayari earned himself this prestigious position just last week.

I'll honour his deal to get you one free flight back to London for each year you hold this title.

Well done Tay you have done him proud.



Luck or Education?

May 28, 2018

So Kunle as an adult, his lawyering mind would like nothing better than a good debate… and in Kingsbury.. it was Debate Central with all his siblings! Whether it be the conspiracy theories of the moon landing… 9/11, the existence or non existence of God.. Kunle was animated and committed to the good argument.

One debate he started was “Is it more important to have luck or education”.. As ever, it was heated debate, with a myriad of views, but Kunle kept to his corner, that luck was more important, because regardless of our education.. if you are not in the right place, at the right time, to meet the right people and grab the right opportunity… your education, however good, will never allow you to excel to meet your innate potential.

And Kunle was a “lucky guy” and lived an exciting challenging awesome life, he travelled, he did important things and became well respected, He found Liz, that 1 in a billion and together they had their two beautiful children Justin Alexander and Tami.

Sadly for them, and for all of us who are here today, his luck ran out on 18th May 2018, way before his time… but we nevertheless are grateful and extraordinarily lucky ourselves to have him enrich our own lives.

I count myself as a really lucky one, because I was ‘his MOTA’, from those early days in Ibadan to mulling over his various business ideas with him, having heart to hearts and him frequently driving me crazy!!!!

My Kuns Kuns… I will miss you so much.. and although I do not believe in the conventional afterlife thing.. you will remain in my heart and I will love you to the end of my days…

Long Live Kunle

Your MOTA xxx

Kunle's metamorphosis

May 28, 2018
by Ade G
From Ally Bedford:
Most people will think of Kunle as a hard working academic, a businessman, a lawyer… But the truth is he was not always like that.

In fact, his father and I would fret about what would become of this boy, Kunle. He was willful, not interested in his studies and was generally far too playful for his own good! He had changed schools even more times than he changed addresses. With the latest school, he even went down a year… That boy Kunle was something else and worried the hell out of us! All that changed when he was 14 or 15! And I remember the day!

We were all sitting in the lounge at Morris St, Yaba, when one uncle came over and was chatting to dad, bemoaning one thing or another. At one point a politician was blamed for it all. Kunle at that point, was sitting quietly on the sofa, when he said, that actually ‘he would put the blame elsewhere’. We all turned in surprise. Kunle then got up and spoke for over half an hour, on the history of Nigeria, on the impacts of colonialism, of the Biafran War… and we sat, mouths open - in absolute awe…

Kunle had found himself and he never looked back!

Kunle as you know was a 'people’s person'…

May 28, 2018

He loved people. I mean he really loved people from a very young age…All types of people!

I remember when he was 7 and living in Ibadan.. He really loved People then too. He would sometimes run out of the gate and yell at the top of his voice. “People, come here.. People, People come here…” With arms out stretched, and miraculously, at the sound of his voice, People would come! And then Kuns who loved people so much. He would roll around on the ground with People. He would tickle People’s tummy and even let People lick his face…

Yes, Kunle has loved people from the very beginning. Including our crazy dog in Ibadan, PEOPLE!

Blood & Water

May 27, 2018

The Fagbenle’s and their extended family became my own long before marriage but in marriage I was officially a part of them (no refunds). They say blood is thicker than water to demonstrate why one should be loyal to their own, although I appreciate loyalty and kinship I know that to survive we need both the blood in our veins and the water that quenches our thirst. Growing up as an only child I had a thirst for siblings and through my union with Luti gained more than I could have dreamed of! 

In the picture I have shared I’m stood with many of them on a day that saw an exchange of culture and love between two families. 

A memory comes to mind of a rainy evening in London, Luti and I are driving somewhere in a car we had as a result of some of Kunle’s business advice. As we’re at a red light or perhaps traffic he happens to pull up in a car beside us. We all greet each other with big smiles and to my surprise Luti is subjected to a quick piece of advice from his eldest brother “hold on to her, she’s quiet but I can tell there’s fire in there”. I laughed coyly meanwhile in my head I thought  “shhhh don’t scare him”, these were the early days  :) 

As well as being honoured that he would consider me a good match for his little brother I appreciated so much the gentleness in Kunle’s spirit and was duped by it a few times in monopoly or risk where unbeknownst to me there lay a ruthlessness behind that friendly exterior. 

To those siblings, parents, nieces, nephews, cousins et al my family and I are with you in this moment knowing that for now the good memories can’t outweigh the grief, but one day they’ll have a fighting chance. 


Love to you all x


For our big brother

May 26, 2018
Celestine Ukwu His Philosophers Nation

Words can hurt, and words can heal. The power of the wordsmith cannot be understated. My Brother Kunle had a potent way with words, and not once did I hear him use them unwisely. Just when I would think I had it all figured out, he would suggest something that surpassed my logic. I am sure I became 17.5x smarter just by being around him.

I remember being a young girl, ever in awe of his ability to pull out quotes from the library of his mind... like a magician. Watching Big K recite the great poets and playwrights with his own groundshaking eloquence, would move me to tears. He pierced through the chatter, and spoke right to my heart. How many can do that? The rarest of breeds. Somehow he understood all of my pains, as if he'd lived them all before and survived to tell the humble tale. Now there was a man.

Hearing his oratory, I was determined to commit all my favourites words to memory, too. And dear Brother, they have served me well, through heavens and hells. How could I even begin to thank you for giving me a tool that would get me through all this mud and mire? Over the years, you continued to speak right to my heart, and allowed me to cultivate a discerning ear. I will be clear: you were the one I wanted to emulate. You who set my feet on solid ground, and steadied me as I walked along. Only a fool or a lunatic would turn away from greatness that soared the way yours soared. Did I ever tell you all that? Did you know you were the greatest in my eyes?

If ever there was a man who strove tirelessly to live by his values, his name was Adekunle Fagbenle.

I can only pray to the God inside him that He eased his passage out of this world. And when prayers don't come, at least I have your poems.

They say you should keep company with those who challenge you to be better, by their being better. Big K was the kind of company you'd want to keep. Driving back from a tennis match one day, we spoke about philosophy, as you do at age 12, and Big K asked if I believed in God. I remember this because he was the first person to ever ask me without assuming. I replied, "sometimes," and told him why. He stayed silent for a little while then said, softly, "Me too." I had never felt less alone than in that moment. There in the car, after I'd lost a match and he wouldn't buy me ice-cream because he knew I could have played better, there with the griefs only children have, and all my unanswered questions about an oft-confusing world, there in the quiet he replied with a, "You are not crazy. We can live in this uncertain space, even without an immortal God to cry to and call our own. Torera, you are not alone."

He spoke with gentleness in his voice, and walked with grace in his step. And his smile... in Lao Tzu's words, it could soften glares, untie knots, become one with the dusty world... this dusty world that couldn't save our eldest brother and his heart, which beat till the end. This dusty world where words don't suffice to do justice to the memory of great men. This dusty world that better not dare to forget such a man -- he who fought for the best until the end. He who had the world and, which is more, was a man.

Well brother... I don't always believe in gods, but there's no fighting where you are now, and it's been said that you are smiling... And don't the wisest gods smile? I know you'll cook up a poet's storm for the lucky few around you who'll hear what I mean when I say you were the greatest. Till we meet again, this side or the other.

An officer and a Gentleman

May 26, 2018

We all will write memorial tributes at some point in our lives but pray it will not be for untimely deaths.  This bereavement is definitely untimely. Nobody saw this coming. Kunle was hitting this stage of his life with all the enthusiasm he generates for family, law and business. He was always probing and seeking opportunities for disrupting and making a difference. I am devastated by his demise.

I have known Kunle through our childhood years as his maternal cousin. I met him at family events and we played and rough housed as growing kids and teens.  As the late eighties rolled by everyone went there separate ways for educational pursuits. I lost contact with Kunle.  The next time I saw him was December  2001 when I had returned to Nigeria after over a decade abroad. This was at an Ajayi Jegede Xmas party in ilupeju when a now 6'8 man mountain bounced in to the party. I was blown away how time and space had changed him. He was twanging and slanging with

My broda Kunle

May 24, 2018

So it was time for me to leave for Yobe state, for my NYSC , I had spent the night at uncle Tunde's house when broda Kunle arrived that morning, he asked me how I was going to get there and how long the journey is, I told him that I was going by road and it will take 17 hours.

I will always remember the look in Broda Kunle's eyes, sitting across from me and his dad, he looked from me to him and he shook his head saying he couldn't possibly let me go that far by road, he will instead take me to the airport to buy a ticket and fly. 

That is not the only time bro Kunle has shown me genuine love and concern. so many other occasions...

The thoughtfulness, the care and concern, I can't put into words a stranger will appeciate.

He has left a hole the size of a meteorite crater in our hearts and only God can fill it.


May 24, 2018

I was in London for a brief stay last March. Shortly after I checked into the Strand Palace hotel, bro Kunle stopped by. The minute he saw how 'tiny' my room was, he asked to see a pix of the same room on the hotel's website. Without saying a word, he left for the lobby area and asked to see the manager. I kept bugging him not to make a scene since I was only going to be there for 4 nights. The manager showed up and bro kunle demanded that they change his 'American client's' room to a much bigger one or he would sue them for online fraud!...I was stunned...kilagbekileju!</span>

Anyway,  they moved me into a king-sized room with some other freebies!
That's who we just lost..always fought for us. My heart misses him.

A Great Daddy to His Children!

May 24, 2018

This is exactly how I would like to remember Kunle.      It was a stop over at my house in NY in August of 2017 together with his two beautiful children — Justin and Tammy.

Night came and we discussed sleeping arrangement. As giant as he was, he decided to sleep on the couch in the living room! He gently tucked his children nicely and lovingly in the comfort of the bed in the visitor’s room. He turned around to me and when he realized my uneasiness he said with a reassuring smile ‘don’t worry aunty, I’ll be just as comfortable on the couch as them. 

Morning came, I woke up early enough to help them with breakfast. To my amazement, this giant of a daddy has already risen, bathed, dressed and fed these lucky children who were now watching TV. This is what I see as a great daddy and not just baby father. This incident is etched in my memory forever.

I also remember our days together at 5 Morris and occasionally when he was in Maryland. I used to make fun of him a lot; I won’t mention the content of the fun here

May 24, 2018

Continued:

He will always reply with a smile and not anger on his face. I can go on and on .........

Our dear Kunle!

We love you. But Jesus Loves you Most!

You have fought a great battle! 

You have won! 

No more struggles! 

No more sickness!

We shall meet in Jesus feet where we’ll part no more!

Good night! 

Sleep well!

By: 

Foluke/Supo Fag

May 24, 2018

Words cannot express my sadness for your sudden unexpected exit.We spoke the day before and I was going to call you on your birthday,which I did but you were unable to answer I will forever cherish the great moments we shared You touched everybody you came into contact with I know you up there now in heaven working on putting a huge deal together Rest In Peace my friend 

K for Kimberly

May 24, 2018

Even when in love and steady with all the potential in the world a young man can often be hesitant or even foolishly reluctant to take action and propose to the love of his life.

I don’t know if I ever told you this Kimberly but I remember the day Bra Kunle delivered me some choice words about life love and opportunity. The mistakes he had made the opportunity he saw.

I can’t quote a man as eloquent as bra kunle. But simply put he made it clear I would be a fool not to take immediate action, propose get married make some babies! 

It was at that moment I walked away and immediately started googling “engagement ring”

He knew we had a great thing going and so I thank him for nudging me over the edge and for the joy and children marriage brought us

How to buy 10 apartments with no money

May 24, 2018

bra kunle taught me how to think big.

He came to London with not much at all. Yet the first thing he did was to buy 10 new build apartments that were being constructed. But how? And how would this help me buy my first house for basically free at 19 years old?

Well he knew how to think big so when he saw a nice development of new apartments going up he walked in and instead of asking the price of one of them he asked to buy 10!!  Of course the developers were excited a big rich Nigerian had come to town. But bra kunle knew he was wealthier in brains than they could imagine- so  naturally he managed to negotiate a significant 25-30% discount and lawyer in some favourable payment terms with ease. But he still did not have a penny to buy 10x £230k apartments even if they were discounted - that’s like £2m!!!

But he had structured it in such a clever way that he could effectively sell them before he had even bought them. 

Bra K didn’t just know how to buy he could sell! His pitch was simple he could help you buy an apartment with no deposit! Wow this was an amazing deal -thats usually 10% of the buying price. But It meant that on each of the 5 apartments he sold he made 15-20% profit which was more than enough to cover the 10% deposit he needed on each of the 5 apartments he kept plus money left over to cover all the tax’s legal fees and more.

One of many genius moves. And boom  O-T and I were on the property ladder and he was a retail magnate in the making!

(Of course it came crashing down with the housing market a few years later but for a moment we were on top of the world. Business and economics can often be at odds. But none the less me and O-T still own one of those  apartments 10+ years later)

Thanks for Watford Bra Kunle. Thanks for showing me how to think big, smile and be a man.

Lutiseku

Tooth Fairies & Toys R Us

May 23, 2018

My big bro Kunle was living in Baltimore with my other big bro, Seyi, and sister Banke. I think it was a 2 bedroom apartment, and for some reason I was with them for a few months at age 4.

One of my teeth were loose and Bro K informed me that when it comes out, I must put it under the pillow before I go to bed so the tooth fairy can take it and give me money instead. Me being Mr. Logical child, I didn't understand how this worked. Soooo many questions. Where will the tooth fairy come from? How can it get in the room when all the windows and doors are shut? Anyway, I woke up with $5 under my pillow... I dont remember if I believed in the fairy, or if I knew it was him haha.

Another day he took me to Toys R Us and told me I can choose ANYTHING I like... one thing. Telling a 4 year old that is like putting a bull in a china shop... and all the china is red. My mind couldn't compute what was actually happening -- free reign in TOYS R US?! What??

After much deliberation and searching I settled between a bike, and a WWF Wrestling Ring set with Jake The Snake Roberts & his snake (so long ago that WWF didnt stand for "World Wide Fund for Nature" like it does today). After much patience, Bro K now hustled me up and said I should hurry up and choose. The bike was useful, but the wrestling set was like a 3 for 1 with the ring, Jake The Snake, and his snake... so I opted for the wrestling set. 

His generosity knew no limits. Gifts, money, trips to amusement parks, meals... just to put a smile on our faces. True leader and wisdom for centuries.

Love you bro.

Daps

May 22, 2018

It took me a minute to gather myself after getting the call yesterday that my the one who I severed as an Angel to until he became a Distinguished Man of the Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Inc had now gained his wings. Kunle Fagbenle, You will always hold a place in my heart as a dear brother, protector and friend. He was an amazing man, father, and husband. He was a brilliant lawyer and excellent speaker. He served as the President of the Student Senate at Coppin State College and he was well respected by all who knew him there. He was my big little brother. I Love him and will miss him. Please pray for his wife, son, daughter, Sisters, Brothers, the brothers of the Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Inc, his family friends and Associates, 

God's Special Angel.

May 22, 2018

I had lost all hopes in 1995 and 1996 then God sent his special angel my cousin Kunle whom I usually call egbon mi (my big brother) to my rescue. He stepped in wiped the tears away and made positive impact in my life. He was the biological older brother I never had. I am still in total shock can't get over it. Egbon mi, you left planet earth without saying goodbye. I have been crying like a baby since I had the sad news thinking I will wake up from my dream but after getting the memorial link from your wife reality has just kicked in for me.

As we are coping with grief and loss, let‘s remember that it isn’t the number of years we live in this life that is of great significance or value but how we lived those years that is important. How could I forget about your great hospitality and those kind gestures when Emmanuel and I visited Nigeria in 2016. I didn’t know that was the last time I would see you in this life. You were very fond of children and was family oriented, as evidenced in summer 2017, as you invited Emmanuel my son from Minnesota to quickly join Justin and Tami in Maryland. It is too enormous to write about many of those good things, thank the Lord for your life. I will miss your affection, all the brotherly advice, the special name you called me“Arante” and your gentle smile.

I can say that “brother mi” lived a full life and, literally, touched so many people one way or the other. I’m praying that through God’s love, grace, and mercy, your memory and legacy lives on through your children Justin, Tami, and loved ones.


Oriki:

Adekunke Alade Edu, omo Oloora, omo gbungbun gba, omo agbo meji o mu'mi lakoto, omo afo bi agba wolu, omo a le mu le ra, bi e r'igba funfun loora e mo pe'le tu wa, omo ar'igba funfun k'edo maalu si, a b'omo 'kunrin lanti lanti. Opo ile rin, opo ide ni ni'Jesa. Omo Igbajo Iloro, omo alagogo m'emu, omo Logunde Oke'resi. Egbon mi sure ooooo.


Omo Mupa asayan, omo alegun ma deyin, Omo Ina gba rerè, Omo ina joko jodo, Omo akeni gbo keru ba ara ọnọ, omo agbon ofuru. Brother mi sure ooooo.


Sleep on egbon mi, we love you but our creator loves you most.

Goodnight my dear cousin.

The man who saved a little girl

May 22, 2018
by Ade G

It was thirteen days to my thirteenth birthday in boarding school in Nigeria, and I was bereft. I was terribly lonely and alone.

A call came out over the tannoy for me to go to the main building. I thought I was in some sort of trouble. I arrive, and am informed that I have mail! In boarding school in Nigeria, receiving a letter was a massive deal. I was handed a large envelope. In it was a birthday card from my big brother in America, I was so happy! It was like he saw me, knew and flew to be by my side. I practically ran back to my dormitory to devour the contents, and placed it proudly under my pillow that night as I slept.

This was not the end of it. For the next 12 days, I received a card EVERY SINGLE DAY. I don't know how he did it, it is no mean feat to get mail to Nigeria from the States, but to get 13 cards to arrive on 13 days consecutively?!?! My brother had done the impossible.

How a 19 year old had the compassion, foresight, ingenuity and unabashed love for his baby sister to think of this, plan and execute it so perfectly is astonishing. That is the man my brother is. 

He saved a little girl that day. He made me stronger, he built in me a sense of self-worth when I was drowning in a sea of loss. 

My brother, the first man I truly loved after my father. I am again bereft and waiting for that call over the tannoy.

Love always

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