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Another conversation with Laia

March 21, 2016

On Friday I received an email from Elisabet, Laia's "soul sister". She told me that she has been talking with Laia since she died, and that she always senses Laia's responses, which are often very funny. On Friday, however, she felt that she actually heard Laia speaking. Here are Elisabet's words (translated from the text in the story she posted below):
Today I found myself talking to Laia and she told me that she now understands what the universe is thanks to not having body, which has allowed her to "melt" into it. She told me that the universe is composed of an infinite number of energies, always alive and evolving, always in touch and in relation to other energies. That this is death. She told me that she is receiving our energy, our love, and that this is what allows her to be in touch with us and to send us lots of love too, because energy always circulates.

Otra charla con Laia

March 19, 2016

18/3/2016

 

Hoy me he "descubierto" otra vez hablando con Laia, como viene siendo habitual desde que se fue.

Esta vez me contaba que ahora ella entiende qué es el universo porque gracias a no tener cuerpo ha podido fundirse con él.

Me decía que el universo está formado por un infinito número de energías, siempre vivas y en transformación, siempre en contacto y en relación con otras energías. Que en eso consiste la muerte.

También me contaba  que esta recibiendo nuestra energía, nuestro amor y que eso le permite estar en contacto con nosotros y enviarnos mucho amor también, porque las energias se retroalimentan.

Gracias otra vez, Laia, por tu clarividente y fluida comunicación. Siempre te querré.

Elisabet

Robert Sardello's article, Artistic Living

March 18, 2016

Artistic Living

Strengthening our competence of soul, becoming aware of the tremendous power of fear in the world, living more from the region of the heart, developing imaginal cognition - all of these open the way to love. Still, one may ask, how can I tell when such efforts begin to bear fruit? They bear fruit from the moment we begin to shift our imagination even slightly. This shift begins when our encounters with fear go from being a burden to becoming a means through which we make the world holy. Fear desecrates, profanes, curses the world, and ultimately seeks to destroy it. Approached consciously, however, fear prompts us, through our inner capacities of imagination, to create something beautiful. This is why our stance towards fear must be one of neutralizing rather than destroying.

Although love can make a new world and effectively cancel the power of fear, it can only do so indirectly, through the beauty it inspires. Beauty, which here will be defined as the act of living artistically, is love made visible in the world. Artistic living consists of developing the ability to display, through our actions and attitudes, the power of soul and spirit in and for the world.

Through Love to Beauty

The shift of our imagination - from fighting against fear to bringing love into the world - comes not from the perception of less fear in the world, but rather from the perception of more beauty. Ugliness is the overcoat with which fear blankets the world, so if we are to counteract its presence, we have to connect with beauty. Working through fear to the central significance of love brings us to beauty as naturally as the darkness of night leads to the glow of dawn.

Beauty is an expansive concept, so we have to approach it by considering how it functions rather than trying to define its nature. It functions, first and foremost, as a question, a calling forth of the imagination to try to understand the depth of soul life. Once we have cleared away the torrent of fears that keep us so confined to the ugly, we will find a space within the heart that reverberates with the question: Why am I here? As long as we

are running scared, the question cannot be heard, but if we listen carefully, we can hear the question being asked, as continuously as the beating of our hearts. This question is the inner standpoint from which the possibility of artistic living originates.

How should we answer this crucial question? Being alive means so much to each of us. Could we deny that? Well, some people would. The circumstances of their lives may lead them to say that they do not want to be here. This is fear speaking through them. As fear dominates the life of the soul, people no longer feel a lust for life. Clear away this fear, even a little, and the exuberance returns.

Should we answer by saying that we’re here to seek happiness? A fool’s errand, since our happiness will always be fleeting, especially if it depends on material wants and desires. Perhaps we believe that we are here to prepare for the afterlife. We cannot forget, however, that we are now beings of Earth, and our lives here must also have a meaning. Perhaps we are here because Earth needs is. If we start with what meets our senses, if we are able to be present, we can experience Earth as a holy place. If we seek beauty in this direction and stand in awe of everything around us, love begins to find its larger purpose and fulfillment.

Our imagination is required to see that whatever we do should augment the beauty that surrounds us. All indigenous peoples live on Earth with this kind of respect for nature. In such cultures, Earth is not seen as a collection of animate beings and inanimate objects. Instead, all things are recognized as having their own soul and spirit, their own personality. Such an understanding is not regressive, it springs naturally from the act of releasing love into the world. But it’s up to us to find our own way to engage with beauty. As much as we may admire other cultures, we cannot replicate their efforts.

The path to beauty is found in the efforts we make to engage the holy as it exists all around us. From this point of view, beauty is an active presence, something we are called to, not a passive object waiting for us to appreciate it. Because the word beauty is irreducible to a single meaning, we ought to start by clearing a little ground for how we will approach it. Although our principal concern will not be with art, or with aesthetics, or

with the beauty of the natural world, nonetheless, we can learn something crucial about artistic living by describing a certain central aspect of all kinds of beauty.

Let us first consider the beauty of the natural world - the beauty of a sunset, a rainbow, a field of yellow flowers, a deer running through the woods, the majesty of a snow-capped mountain. When a thing appears beautiful it does so because it belongs together with the whole. The natural world functions as a whole, with each individual thing having its place within it. If you see a field of yellow flowers, it is in the context of of a landscape; that landscape in turn exists in relationship to other landscapes; and the blue sky overhead does not end at the boundaries of the field. If you walk into the field, cut a bouquet of flowers, and take them home, they still belong to the rain that fell on them, the ground that nurtured them, and the insects that thrived on their pollen. Beauty, rather than being something in itself, derives from these larger relationships. If we react in awe to a lion in the zoo, it is but a shadowy reflection of a lion in its natural surroundings. We hardly recognize it, but it is true.

Both the vase of flowers and the lion in the zoo have been taken from their living context. Their beauty does not vanish entirely, because they are still here in the world and belong within the whole. But they can lose their beauty if not approached in a way that honors their context. We honor the flowers by arranging them, an act of artistic imagination which may add something to their beauty - or diminish it, if our arrangements are haphazard.

In the same way, human beings are part of the whole. We exist within a context that includes absolutely everything. Although we function as individuals, we are not isolated. We are inextricably bound up with others, with the world, and with the wider cosmos. Even our bodies exist only as a nexus of relationships; it is the place from which the world opens for us. We are in a relationship with the air, with plant and animal life, with others, with the sun, the moon and the stars.

Our sense of individuality arises quite naturally with the emergence of ego consciousness. Only when fear enters to harden and crystalize our feelings of separation does this individuality come to feel like isolation. If we imagine

that we are nothing more than a complex object inserted onto the stage of the world, we lose the very connections that sustain the life of the sould. Although it’s logically possible to conceive of the human being in such isolation, it is not a fruitful way to live in the world.

We rely on a sense of the whole all the time. For example, the meaning of this sentence cannot be determined from the meaning of each word taken in isolation. Only as the words are read in relation to each other does the meaning of the sentence appear; the meaning of each word is thus dependent on the whole sentence. Likewise, when we awaken in the morning, we are part of the complete world., though we experience the meaning of that world only through the relationship of its many parts. As we discover the meaning of the totality, the whole in turn becomes an aspect of our perception of the parts. This imaginative consciousness of part-whole perception is key to the experience of beauty.

Art is different from the beauty of the natural world. A work of art exists wholly in itself. Some may say that a work of art exists only within the context of all other works of art., in the way that a flower in the field exists in relation to all the other things of the natural world. That is not correct. A painting, for example, is a complete unique world unto itself. Every true painter knows this. A painter cannot paint the parts of the painting in isolation - he or she has to paint with the whole image in mind. A novice painter has difficulty doing this because it requires a different mode of consciousness. The painter uses one brushstroke at a time, but the final painting consists of more than the accumulation of these parts. A true painter knows when she has made a wrong stroke of the brush; she realizes when she has fallen into painting just a tree rather than a landscape. And whereas wholeness already exists within the natural world, in a work of art it must be made.

The notion that wholeness, or beauty, exists only in a transcendent realm belies the way that artists actually create. Art is not a matter of making the imaginative realm real. An artist takes what is real and gives it imaginative form. In art, the imaginative is not made real; the real is made imaginative. An artistic image does not exist apart from the sensory presentation of itself.

Art does not exist for mere amusement, and when it tries to, it falls into decadence. Through art we experience spiritual pleasure, through the presence of something completely sensual. Such an artistic phenomena satisfies because it is both a sensory object and an imaginative display of soul and spirit qualities. Beauty in a work of art is always something real and direct. Art does not merely point us towards beauty, because it is sensory, it is a direct link to the realm of the soul.

Most theories of artistic creations confuse the impulse of art with that of religion. They approach artistic creation as if it were founded in revelation., either from the heavens above or from the inner depths of the soul. If this were so, a work of art could never be satisfying because a huge gap exists between the revelation and its expression. Just as when we have an insight and try to convey it in words, and feel the inadequacy of our words, the notion of bringing down inspiration from the spiritual world will always result in feelings of inadequacy.

We could think of religion and art as two currents working in opposite directions. Religion is based on spiritual revelations which become coded in texts and rituals. Art, at least in our time, is based on human efforts to elevate our sensory experiences to the spirit realms. Rudolf Steiner speaks of art as a “reversed cult”. He means, in effect, that the artist’s task is to create something of a spiritual nature from sensory materials, while the task of religion is to bring the soul and spirit domain into sensory expression.

Our task of making ourselves whole resembles the artistic model of creation more than the religious model. Most people who become interested in soul work do so out of a religious need. having given up on organized religion as a means of caring for the individual soul. Jung’s work, for example, stemmed from his difficulties with religion, which led him to establish a spiritual basis for psyche. Instead of listening to sermons, Jung said, one ought to listen to one’s dreams and work at knowing the inner gods as they are revealed through archetypal patterns.

I daresay, knowing that it will be controversial, that the psychology of Jung has not had and most likely will not have much effect on the process of bringing beauty into the world. Although his psychology has the potential to

renew religious sensibility, it has had virtually no effect on the making of beauty in the world. There is no Jungian architecture, drama, poetry, music or other forms of beauty stemming from his work. He came closest to understanding soul work that is world-oriented with his study of alchemy, but even there he missed the mark because he failed to see that alchemy was an art, concerned with real, sensory materials and their transformation into spiritual qualities through human agency. He placed no value on what the alchemists actually did and only looked at their psychic makeup.

I am not attempting to dismiss Jung and the larger field of depth psychology. His capacities of observation were highly developed, and we have to be thankful for his scientific training and dogged determination to know through observation more than through his mystical inclinations. This aspect of Jung services as a model for any true soul work. Approaching the question of how we can go about making ourselves whole relies completely upon the capacity for careful observation.

Painting and Vision

A painter takes color and form and arranges them so that we see an image that reveals the inner depth of the world. The painter’s visual imagination may turn outward, seeing beyond the surface of things into their inner qualities. It may also turn inward, seeing within the soul itself. In either case, the painter is able to see that color and form are living beings.

Where we may see just a red object, a static form with a colored surface, the painter feels the activity of such an object and seeks to capture it on the canvas. We may look at a field of sunflowers and admire its beauty, Van Gogh saw such an intensity of life in the vibrant yellow against the blue of the sky, swirling into each other, creating each other, that to make an image of what he saw almost killed him. With such vision, the painter does not just see what is before her, but sees a unified whole of color and form and is conscious of the fact that it is the soul making this perception. This kind of vision does not arise from the detached point of view of an omniscient spectator, but from a merging of the soul’s imaginative consciousness with the outer world. Regardless of the content of what the painter paints, this kind of seeing is involved.

That kind of observation captures reality more thoroughly than science, because it takes into account the viewer, not just as a theoretical construct, but as an actuality. Viewed in this way, the world no longer exists of things and events, but of living beings that display their nature only by being seen through the soul.

If we do not look deeply into the world and see its life in ways that are analogous to a painter’s vision, the world withers away and dies, even though on the surface it seems to go on as usual. The oceans become infested with oil because we really cannot see that they not only contain life, but are alive. The forests are ruthlessly cut away because we no longer can really see a tree. Vast areas of land give way to huge shopping centers because we cannot see the living landscape.

For anyone who begins to really see the world, vision can be painful. Although it may not be immediately apparent, much of the world around us is now dead. To bring our capacity to see to life, even a little, by taking the time and the care to look, shows us with tragic clarity how much fear already dominates the world. It takes spiritual courage to really look, but our efforts to see through the eyes of the soul without recoiling in horror will not go unnoticed by the world.

Posted with permission of Robert Sardello

An article by Robert Sardello that appeared by "magic"

March 18, 2016

In September 1999, soon after Laia and I were engaged, we began a marathon communication that lasted until July 2000 when she came to Kimberton so that we could be together for a couple of months before the wedding planned for Sept. We used every tool that we had to keep the communication flowing, often talking 4-5 hours a day, exchanging endless emails, hand written letters (I sent her at least one letter every single day), and even faxes (she had a fax machine at home). One of these faxes was an article by Robert Sardello entitled Artistic Living. It was an extract from his book, Freeing the Soul from Fear. The article outlined Sardello’s thoughts about the role that art and beauty can have in combatting fear that attacks the soul.

I still remember the impact that this article had on me, as well as all the subsequent conversations about Sardello’s compatriots, Thomas Moore and James Hillman. These three were always Laia’s touchstones. Their thoughts and writings gave us much comfort and guidance for the 10 months that Laia had to pass though seemingly endless “tunnels” of difficult emotions and thoughts regarding the enormous change that she was about to embark on. When I reflect on the work that she and I did together which formed the core of our relationship, which made it so subtle, deep, and lasting, I have to bow down to all three.

I hadn't been thinking much about them in the last month or so, but a few weeks ago when my friends Dianna and Andy were staying with me, that all changed. Seemingly by accident, I came across the fax that Laia had sent me with Sardello’s article. As I read it, I was transported back to 1999. A few minutes later, I came downstairs and in an instant I was struck by the realization that I was living in a temple of art and beauty, which the two of us had created. It was such a powerful moment that I had to sit down to absorb it. I printed a copy of the article for Dianna, and I sent a copy to a few friends. Unfortunately the copy wasn’t very readable once I scanned it, so I decided to transcribe it, which is in a separate "story".

This whole process started me thinking about Sardello, wondering what he was now doing. This lead me to his website, and to my surprise I discovered that he was going to be leading a retreat in April entitled,  “A Soul Retreat on Being with Those Who Live Within the Greater Life.” The retreat will be in honor of his wife, Cheryl Sanders-Sardello, who died in Nov. 2015. I immediately wrote to him to ask to be included in the retreat, which then led to an exchange of emails. In the most recent, which I just received today, he said, “You mentioned, coming across “Freeing the Soul from Fear” and the passage that Laia drew your attention to many years ago. “Finding” the book now — that is exactly the way that our beloveds who die now communicate with us. We do not have to go wholly to them, as they come to us — according, always, to exactly what is needed. You must indeed feel this, because, here you are, on the way to coming to North Carolina”.

I’ve put the text of the article in a separate “story” so as not to make this one too long.

Con todo mi carino y el carino de Laia

Tiempo de Barbecho

March 13, 2016
Un nuevo amigo, Stephen Gambill, me escribió hace unos días. Adjunto un poema, diciendo: "aquí es un poema que escribí para nuestro Consejo Tribal de Texas que mi buen amigo ritual Karim y yo también creó ritual. El Consejo fue el crecimiento secreto que es posible en el invierno de la vida de un hombre. El poema es sobre la ley fértil de descender en nuestro dolor."

Yo estaba muy conmovida por este poema como han hecho varios otros amigos. No dude en compartirlo con otros.

TIEMPO DE BARBECHO   En el latente invierno puede haber otro sembrado. Lo que está vacio, lo que está aprisionado o roto, paralizado o congelado, lo que parece infértil, muerto, es una misteriosa semilla.   Dirige tu mirada hacia abajo desciende otro estrato hacia lo que yace enterrado. Ten paciencia. Excava. Lucha en la oscuridad. Descansa y sueña con lo que parece fútil e inerte. Nuestras angustias contienen la promesa de los tubérculos de primavera, nuestro quebranto, una fuente. Lo que parece soterrado es una plantación. Todo lo que se necesita para este sembrado es una rendición.

A poem from Stephen Gambill entitled "The Fallow Time"

March 12, 2016

A new friend, Stephen Gambill, wrote to me a few days ago. He attached a poem, saying, " Here's a poem I wrote for our Texas Tribal Council that my good ritual buddy Karim and I also created ritual for. The council was about the secret growth that is possible in the wintertime of a man's life. The poem is about the fertile act of descending into our grief."

I was very moved by this poem as have been several other friends. Please feel free to share it with others:

The Fallow Time

In the dormant winter there can be
another planting. What is empty,

what is bound or broken, paralyzed or frozen,
what seems infertile, dead, is a puzzling seed.

Cast your eyes below, descend another layer
to what lies buried.
Be patient. Dig down.
Wrestle in the dark.
Rest and dream with
what seems futile and inert. Our troubles hold the promise of spring tubers,

our brokenness, a source. What seems like a burial
is a planting.
All that’s needed for that sowing is surrender.

February 26, 2016

Es el mismo dia que en la foto anterior.
Con tio Isaac y Pepita , Pili, Isaac y Neus 

February 26, 2016

Laia esta sentada en el regazo del Sr. Ventura padre de Tia Pepita.
En la foto Ventureta el hermano de Pepita  , Pepita y Pili

A SPECIAL MEETING WITH LAIA

February 21, 2016

Since Laia is gone I have been talking regularly with her. I always see her with very energy and a cheerful attitude, giving me unconditional support in everything I do. She encouraged me to go to St Fe after her death, when I was hesitating. She wanted me to know her friends better and her everyday environment and to strengthen my friendship with Ron.
Usually I hear her supportive words and especially her happiness, her jokes which make me laugh.
A few days ago, on the night before her birthday we had a “special talk”.
She told me that it was time to leave (I knew she was talking about an unknown place where I couldn't go). She said she had to go and she invited me to take everything I needed from her. She gave me everything, without restrictions, everything that wasimportant to me. She offered all parts of herself I with pleasure. At first I was scared and I felt very sad (was she saying that she are going to disappear forever?). However, immediately her love and generosity were present. This is what she was giving me, this is what would be alive inside of me, this is what would allow me to “have” her forever. This was a great comfort to me.
Then, I felt that there would come a time when I'd be able to say goodby to her, and I knew that it would happen when I'd have been able to integrate everything I needed that I had received from her.
At that moment, I remembered all our long conversations and research about the
importance of symbolic space in our human lives. The space of “as if”, of playing, of “being represented” (without the need to be truly present), the space of symbols, words, performances, the space of spirituality...
the space which humanizes us, which represents our essential nature, the space that includes all that is not seen but it is probably the most important: our emotions and feelings, the space that allows us to bear the losses.
I understood then that this space goes beyond life. Perhaps life and death are two
sides of the same coin, maybe life has meaning because death exists.
I also understood that what she had achieved was to turn her daily life with Ron into a symbolic space. She had finally managed to live within it which also enabled her to bring the disease into the same space. She turned it into a character, keeping it contained so that could see it with distance, not allowing it to invade her life and
therefore managing to live intensely and joyfully for the last 4 years.
Thank you Laia for your wisdom, for sharing it, for being an example for me and for
living it with your actions. I will always remember you, my friend!
Elisabet

UNA TROBADA ESPECIAL AMB LA LAIA

February 21, 2016

 Des de que la Laia se'n va anar, he anat parlant regularment amb ella.Sempre la veig amb una actitud molt energètica i alegre, donant-me suport incondicional en tot el que faig. Em va animar a anar a St Fe després de la seva mort, quan jo estava dubtant. També a conèixer millor els seus amics i els seu entorn cotidià, a enfortir l'amistat amb el Ron....Habitualment, sento les seves paraules de suport i sobretot sento la seva alegria, les seves bromes i acudits que em provoquen ganes de riure.

Fa uns dies vam tenir una “conversa especial”.Em va dir que havia arribat el moment de marxar (jo sabia que em parlava d'un lloc desconegut al que no hi podia anar). Que se n'havia d'anar però que agafés tot el que necessités d'ella, que m'ho donava, sense restriccions, que prengués tot el que fos important per a mi, totes les parts seves que jo requerís, que me les oferia amb molt de gust. D'entrada em vaig espantar i vaig sentir molta tristesa (m'estava dient que desapareixeria per sempre?) però ràpidament es va fer present el seu amor i la seva generositat. Això és el que m'estava regalant, això és el que quedaria inscrit dins meu, això és el que em permetria “tenir-la” per sempre i això significava també un gran consol. Llavors vaig sentir que arribaria un dia que li podria dir adéu i que seria quan jo hagués pogut “incorporar” tot el que necessités d'ella.

I em vaig recordar de totes les nostres llargues xerrades i investigacions sobre l'importància de l'espai simbòlic en les nostres vides humanes. L'espai del “com si”, del joc, del ser-hi en representació (no cal ser-hi realment), l'espai dels simbols, paraules, representacions, l'espai de l'espiritualitat....l'espai que ens humanitza, que representa la nostra naturalesa essencial, que recull tot el que no es veu i que probablement és el més important: les nostres emocions i afectes, l'espai que ens permet soportar les pèrdues.Llavors vaig entendre que aquest espai continua més enllà de la vida, o potser és que la vida i la mort són les dues cares d'una mateixa moneda, que la vida té sentit gràcies a que existeix la mort.I vaig entendre també com ella va aconseguir apropar la seva vida a aquest espai simbòlic, va viure-hi dintre i d'aquesta forma va aconseguir portar-hi també l'enfermetat, convertir-la en un personatge , allunyar-la i poder-la mirar amb distància, no permetent que la envaís i aconseguint així seguir disfrutant intensament i amb alegria de la vida.Gràcies Laia per la teva sabiduria, per haver-nos-la mostrat amb les teves accions, per haver-ho compartit amb nosaltres donant exemple. Et recordaré sempre amiga!

Elisabet

 

Location

February 12, 2016

This photo was taken in plaza españa near les fonts de montjuic

Lyrics from the song "Breaths" by Francis Bebey

February 10, 2016
Breaths
Listen more often to things than to human beings,
Listen to the fire's voice, to the water's sound.
Listen to the sobbing of the wind tossed woods. It's the breathing of the ancestors. Those who are dead are never really gone. They are in the brightening shadow and in the thickening gloom. The dead are not beneath the ground. They are in the quivering trees They are in the groaning wood They are in the flowing water, in the still water They are in the hut, they are in the crowd Harken to the fire's voice and to the water's sound, It is the breathing of the dead ancestors

Who are not dead, who are not beneath the ground.

February 10, 2016

At the beginning of our 40, we were very interested on the research of femininity but always playing and laughing.

In my 40 birthday a friend lent us a club with sadomaso objects to celebrate there.We had a lot of fun and I remember Laia laughing her head off.

A visit to Dr. Cordero

February 10, 2016

Visits with Cordero were always this lovely miture of social and medical. He often cleared his calendar so that he could spend the whole day with us. On this day, we had brought Mama who needed some help with her dentures. Before Cordero got to work, he wanted to show us images of paintings that his uncle, a well know painter in Spain had done. This took at least an hour, and you can see that it was a great diversion for all of us.

Genesis of our play La Dama Azul

February 10, 2016

Many years ago Laia read a story in the Spanish magazine, Mas Alla about Sor Maria de Agreda, the cloistered nun who supposedly had bilocated to the SOuthwest. She did what she had always done - clip the aritcle and put it in a folder. That folder made it's way to the States, and then to Santa Fe. We didn't talk about it vry much, but very soon after arriving, Laia suggeste that we take a trip to the Salinas Monument, a spot where Sor Maria supposedly had appread to the natives. Once at the park, we went to the visitor center and Laia asked the ranger if he had ever heard of Sor Maria. Much to her surprise, he knew all about the legend, and pointed out several books with accounts of her life. Laia was so startled that what had eemed to her to be a myth might have had some historic reality. We decided to follow up and eventually we decided to write a full length play... what a job!

Our weddding vows, Sept. 15, 2000

February 8, 2016

Since Laia's passing, many people have asked me how it was possible that she and I had been able to prosper in and continuouslty deepen our relationship. Of course, love had much to do with it. In addition, the care that we put into crafting our wedding vows was one of the many sources of continuous inspiration that guided us for the 16 + years of marriage. Two months before the wedding, Laia and I began the process of examining exactly what we wanted to vow to each other - we worked almost every day for a several hours, and below is the result of this work. It was always our hope that our friends would also find these vows helpful in framing the conversations within their own relationships.

Vows (to be read in English, Spanish and Catalan, with Spanish and Catalan alternating):

I vow to remain mindful of these characteristics of marriage:

Marriage embodies art and creativity
Play and humor are essential in marriage
Both people taking care of material, sensual, and pleasure
Both people continuously unifying their inner masculine and feminine
Both people confronting and healing
Both doing everything with honesty and tenderness
Both honoring the goddesses and gods
Both acknowledge how dark appears as a divine mystery and light as sacred laughter

I vow to remember that dependency is not the opposite of freedom  and that the more that I am free, the more I want to commit, and the more that I commit, the freer I am
I vow to remember that the full potential of marriage is creativity
I vow to remember that there is always a third way
I vow to remember that In the container of marriage, there is always one who can help the other by creative use of the container

I vow to remember that surrender is what makes people more desirable
I vow to remember that in marriage there is not two opposing sides.  There are not feminine claims opposing masculine claims.  There are no resentments. 

I vow to make the effort to confront whatever stands in the way of genuine union.

I vow to remember always that we are a man and a woman

I vow to continuously build and transform the relationship through communication, surrender, and love

I vow to have art as a part of daily life
I vow to listen to the call of drama as time to play
I vow to listen to the call of depression as a time to create
I vow to listen to the call of music as our connection with the divine
I vow  to contemplate beauty as a source of energy
I vow to allow inspiration and nourishment to appear from emptiness
I vow to return your innocence
I vow to take care of you soul
I vow to never judge you
I vow to accept my feelings and your feelings
I vow to always come back to the place of love
I vow to protect your solitude, freedom, and innocence
I vow to make all the changes necessary so the relationship prospers
I vow to help you to be free and innocent
I

vow that I will guard you from your negative unconscious and I will do whatever I can  so that you can love yourself more and better


I vow to maintain my relationship with myself,  with my family & friends, with the community that we live in, and with the divine, and in doing so, I recognize that my relationship with you becomes better.

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