ForeverMissed
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This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Laila Nilles, 91 years old, born on July 25, 1925, and passed away on August 22, 2016. We will remember her forever.
August 22, 2023
August 22, 2023
Lail, you are still with me every day, piling up hugs yet to be given, stories yet to be told. I recently had several challenges where I thought to myself; "What would Lail do?" Well, you were right every time. I look forward to your presence today and every next day.
August 22, 2023
August 22, 2023
Not a day has gone by when i have not thought about Laila, about what her thoughts or opinions would have been if she had heard my performances either on the violin or piano. We love you and miss you Laila.
August 22, 2023
August 22, 2023
Seven years for you! Fifteen years for Boop. Forty-two for Stan. Forty-three for Nana. Forty-six for Papa. All are in my memories and my dreams.
Craig MacDonald
August 22, 2023
August 22, 2023
I often think of my pal, Laila, and her incredible genius, humbleness, selflessness, abounding encouragement to others, always smiling disposition, sweetness, musical prowess and endless sense of humor. She showed many of these characteristics when she was with Jack & I on a very bumpy, tiny plane flight out of Fresno. We needed her calm demeanor to divert our apprehension. Being a world-class flutist, she immensely enjoyed my true story of how I put together a Flute Salute on Balboa Pier to raise funds for a musical charity. It featured a famous female flutist from New York, performing for children on the pier during a very sunny day. Unfortunately, the gracious star got her lips burned and was unable to perform with a major symphony the following day. She also enjoyed a story about a friend of mine, who was a 96-year-old tap dancer from The Little Rascals. He slipped on a sidewalk and bruised his face. When I first saw the WW II vet's black-and-blue face, he said, "You should have seen the other guy!" Ahh, nothing like a sense of humor. I can see Laila chuckling right now. She'd like all of you to follow suit. Thanks for the memories, dear friend.  
July 25, 2023
July 25, 2023
Happy Birthday, Sweetheart! I surely wish that I had you with me these past few years as the entire world changed. Remember how we used to wonder how to get the world's attention about the prospects of working from home? It took a pandemic to do the trick. The world is now following our advice, whether or not it realizes it.
Although you're not here physically you are always beside me every day with your good advice, music and fighting spirit. My true love.
July 25, 2023
July 25, 2023
Happy Birthday with a big thank you for the memories that make us smile in gratitude for YOU and for your smile, music, laughter and continuing spiritual presence is our lives.
Lis & David
July 25, 2023
July 25, 2023
Happy Birthday, Laila. And it's also Papa's observed birthday! I always liked that in your nuclear family unit, the four birthdays coincided - you and Pop in July, Beata and Nana in November. Some of that serendipitous tradition continued with my birthday being close to my dad, then my daughter in between Stan and me, and then Jud's daughter close to his birthday. Now a generation further, Jud's granddaughter follows right after Nana and Boop....
August 23, 2022
August 23, 2022
Remembering and enduring thoughts of Laila and Jack apart and together bring on smiles and chuckles for us. JALA are forever imprinted on our lives.
August 22, 2022
August 22, 2022
What a joy it is to see and hear the love and admiration you have earned from friends worldwide, Laila. You are with me every day, helping steer a path through troubled waters and keeping the sun shining. Please keep it up!
August 22, 2022
August 22, 2022
Laila's spirit, like that of her mother, Jeanette, always fill my life with strength, courage and music. Laila, miss you. 
August 22, 2022
August 22, 2022
The Michigan dunes came up in conversation with a friend the other day. I thought of all the stories of young Laila and Beata, Nana and Papa, spending summer months in South Haven. I have a few photos of those days that memorialize happy times and bring them to life.
August 22, 2022
August 22, 2022
Not a single day passes by in my life when I don’t think of Laila, especially when ever I play or perform a piece of music either on the violin or piano, always wondering what Laila would think of every execution of the various passages in the music. I love Laila for ever.
July 25, 2022
July 25, 2022
I just came home this morning from my usual walk in Santa Monica's Palisades Park along the ocean -- it was always with her in the past -- when my phone spontaneously(!) started playing Laila's 1976 CD, some of which is the music on this site. She's still lighting our way.
July 25, 2022
July 25, 2022
Laila's light continues to brighten our lives knowing she is always with us.
Lis and David
August 23, 2021
August 23, 2021
I love seeing all the pictures of Aunt Laila on this anniversary. She was such a beautiful soul and a light to this world - a life gift. 
August 22, 2021
August 22, 2021
I'm so glad we have these photos to remind us of the many, many beautiful days and nights we spent together. I hope they give as much joy to the other viewers as they do to me. Pandemics can't keep us apart. Laila's mRNA has enriched us all.
August 22, 2021
August 22, 2021
I still like celebrating and bringing forth the best memories of birth and life themselves rather than an end date. So here's to all the meaningful Laila moments that are emblazoned within me.
July 29, 2021
July 29, 2021
Not a single day passes by in my life,-which is always filled with teaching or performing music-, when I don’t think of Laila, about her amazing musical wisdom. I will forever be grateful to Laila, and will always love her. While listening to a performance of some one, a question always came to me: “i wonder what Laila would have thought of this performer or performance?”
July 25, 2021
July 25, 2021
The sun and moon still rise and set as they always have. That's a good thing. Our family remains intact. That's also a good thing. Everything else is pretty much topsy-turvy, a polite way of saying the world is wack! Any chance you could straighten things out?!?!?! I'll take anything as a sign that Laila has intervened....
July 25, 2021
July 25, 2021
We have big smiles on our faces remembering Laila. Her smiles, laughter, insights, intelligence and friendship are imprinted in our hearts and minds. Her light brightly shines infinitely together with Jack. July and August 25 are likewise imprinted.
July 25, 2021
July 25, 2021
I still have nighttime conversations with you, Laila. Your words of wisdom and sustenance keep me going during these turbulent times. Your influence has become global these days -- and not just on your birthday. I know you'll keep it up!
August 22, 2020
August 22, 2020
Your great grand-niece is starting to put words together. I can’t say how badly I wish you and Boop were here to hear her and teach her. Thank you for reading my attempts at fiction in high school. Thank you editing my senior thesis. Thank you for music, and debate, and that broadly expressive lift of an eye brow.
August 22, 2020
August 22, 2020
Laila’s righteous spirit is burning bright these days! Love to her in her absence and to Jack for keeping her memory present.
August 22, 2020
August 22, 2020
Four years and another presidential election upon us. Last time, when I voted, I cast my ballot for Hillary Clinton and whispered a fraction of my vote belonged to all the important women in my family who weren't present to cast their own vote. This time, I take the spirit of having been born in Chicago to hold the political mantra of that time to heart. I hear you echoing it: "vote early and vote often!" I get to vote for another woman - as VP....
July 25, 2020
July 25, 2020
Laila, we are thinking of you, knowing you would offer encouraging and helpful words of wisdom to those of us trying to embrace our earthy humanity. We thank you for you as we continue sensing your caring and loving presence.
Lis & David
July 25, 2020
July 25, 2020
As always, I dream of your smiling face, then wake to find your pillow empty. But you are with me every day, fuming at the grotesque machinations of our politicians, planning for better times, and celebrating our victories. How I wish I could still give you a big hug! Thanks for everything, sweetheart.
July 25, 2020
July 25, 2020
It may be a good thing that you're not here to witness the deliberate desecration of all the values you held dear, perpetrated by people obsessed with ego and power whose views are skewed by the need to dominate and suppress what they can't control any other way. And in other news, oh yes, you're also missing out on that other matter of a pandemic. Attacked from many sides, your family may have to isolate for a while, but we will not be cornered and we will survive. Wherever you are, come November, be sure to cast your vote against tyranny and deliberate ignorance! Now I'm certain I've got you riled up!
July 25, 2020
July 25, 2020
Not a single day passes by without thinking about my dearest Laila, who was always so wise and generous with her whole being toward me and her loved ones. She has a permanent place in my soul. I will always love you Laila!
August 23, 2019
August 23, 2019
Dad and I have been spending the summer on the deck playing concerts for Maeve. I really wish Boop and Laila could have spent this summer playing music for her and spinning endless circular allusions.
August 22, 2019
August 22, 2019
Last night was one of those nights when I needed you to say: "Never mind, cheer up and keep living and contributing." You did, as always, and I will.
August 22, 2019
August 22, 2019
You were there for my arrival; I was there for your departure. Time may be measurable, but memories last forever.
July 25, 2019
July 25, 2019
With the sadness of your departing comes the joy of seeing how well and fondly you are remembered. I still miss you deeply and daily but rejoice in your lasting positive impacts on the world.
July 25, 2019
July 25, 2019
Changes among the family you'd either raise your eyebrows at or raise a glass to: welcoming Hillary and Doug's daughter Maeve to the world, Leslie and Tom leaving LA for her personal haven in the Santa Barbara area, Jud transitioning from one long-loved career to another for which he is so talented. And then the familiar, still happening solidarities: Tamara as a horsewoman, Whitney our New Yorker, Jack receiving acknowledgements of his work and at the constant service of the local hummingbird sugar-watering hole. Life and memories go on.....
August 29, 2018
August 29, 2018
Dear Laila,
You are my musical inspiration! Keep it up! I love you!
July 26, 2018
July 26, 2018
Dearest Laila,
There hasn’t beeen a single day when we (Matthew and I) didn’t think of you, or talked about you. You have been and always will be the musical light that shines in my heart. With great affection and love, from one of your admirers, AykeMatthew
July 25, 2018
July 25, 2018
Always remembered and appreciated on July 25 and throughout the years past, present and future. We feel and know Laila is always with us in Spirit and as the CFO Emeritus of JALA.
July 25, 2018
July 25, 2018
Laila my love, you're the angel who keeps dancing . . . and fluting . . . and joking . . . and fuming around my head. Please keep it up!
July 25, 2018
July 25, 2018
If Laila were still with us, I can only imagine – no, I know full well – that she would be blowing a gasket over the world events unfolding as a consequence of what passes for American politics. I can see her snapping pages of morning newspapers, shaking her head, sputtering at one inanity and another insanity. She would deliver piercing judgments at TV's talking heads and online editorials, exasperated at the whole scene. She would exhort Jack with what should be done to make America America again. She would be handpicking her favorite candidates for the next election cycles. She would listen to Jud's discourses on the politics of his two Washingtons (state and DC). She would write checks to the organizations she deemed capable of carrying on the good fight. She would also be proudly bursting at the seams with the impending birth of our family's next generation. Just as she was present at Hillary's birth, I picture her spirit presiding over the next little girl to come forth and wow us all. Laila will be wafting about, waving a flute instead of a magic wand - ah! a magic flute! – to the perfect Mozartian tempo. Okay, a far-fetched scenario, but I think I just made her laugh.... Do you hear it too?
August 23, 2017
August 23, 2017
Laila's is one of the voices I hear when I am discouraged. All she says is "Oh really...?" Always in that unique slight drawl that packed 'and what are you going to do about it?' plus 'I trust you to figure this out' into those two little words. Best pep talk there ever was.
August 23, 2017
August 23, 2017
Laila, loving, strong, compassionate, reassuring. Remembered forever as a blessing in my life. -- Andrea
August 22, 2017
August 22, 2017
Dearest Laila,
Not a single day goes by when I had not thought of you, of your wise comments, of your love and care for me and my family. I love you for ever very much.
August 22, 2017
August 22, 2017
We fondly remember Laila and celebrating year after year her July 25 birthday. We'll continue doing so, remembering she is always a part of us... Fleming LTD (Lis-Tova-David)
August 22, 2017
August 22, 2017
I came to my computer this morning to the Forever Missed reminder that today was the one year mark of Laila's leaving us. Well, guess what, fans and folks! While her corporeal presence is gone, her essence, her spirit, her perching on our shoulders and whispering sweet nothings in our ears are all very much present! I should modify the term "sweet nothings". We can all hear what she would be saying about national and international events, cultural and social manifestations, loud and clear. Her irritations would be punctuated with fine phrases from a proverbial sailor's vocabulary. Her salutations to her family would cheer us all on and enjoin us to be true to who we are.... and what she expects of us. Truthfully, we need no reminder of her death because she is still with us in every way that counts. If you are in her home, you feel that she's no farther away than the next room or maybe even in her favorite chair right next to you. If you are with Jack, you know she's inhabiting every breath he takes. At several points at my own home, hummingbirds have hovered directly outside the family room glass slider. I know with each avian encounter, she's come to visit and deliver a very important message. I prefer to acknowledge her birthday as the coming of life. And as Jack has noted, the cosmos or at least our galaxy has paid attention by bringing us the best solar eclipse ever.
July 25, 2017
July 25, 2017
It's Laila's birthday today – July 25. Since her father (my “Papa”) was never sure of his birthday – or so the family lore goes – July 25 became his de facto birthday. It matched the “almost sameness” of the other nuclear members of the family – Laila's mother (my “Nana”) whose birthday was November 15 and Laila's sister (my mom) whose birthday was November 20. It certainly made for easy remembering and for joint celebrations. All such celebrations – birthdays and holidays – were a big deal in our extended family. They meant coming up with elaborate menus, frenetic cooking, all the best table settings, non-stop conversation, background music, and – in those days – cocktails, wines, and post-prandial liqueurs.
Birthdays were always signals of family togetherness. Presents were thoughtful, sometimes with serious intent, sometimes with utility in mind, quite often with sly wit. Although music was central to connecting us as a family, and it didn't take a birthday or a holiday for one of us to play a new recording, it seems to me that birthdays were often the occasion for introducing a new artist or work. That may just be my childhood memory rather than actual fact, but I have a feeling it might well have been a birthday when someone first brought home for all of us to hear together the uproarious Anna Russell, the lilting Roberta Peters, the irreverent Tom Lehrer.
No one laughed louder than Laila. No one made more critical comments. No one enjoyed the intellectual by-play more than she – and that's saying something in my family! We were well-matched in all those aspects. Whether Laila (and Jack) were at the heads of their table or sitting side by side at one of our tables – my parents, or later on my brother and sister-in-law, and my husband and mine, birthdays – holidays – any excuse for a family party – was greeted with glee and a determination to have a damn fine time.
When you know someone from relative youth onward, forever missed is a true sentiment. But I also feel that forever young is just as true – especially with Laila whose outlook never aged.
November 22, 2016
November 22, 2016
When I think of Laila, I think Brilliant, Refined, Classy, Quick Wit (boy did she have me fooled--just kidding), understanding, caring, creative--she was the Mother Teresa of Telecommuting, changing the world one person at a time; she was a zookeeper, a park ranger, loving nature, keeping an eye on her backyard forest--the wildlife, jackrabbits & Jack, admiring nature's beauty & the wonders of life; she was a little kid who never grew up (don't kids have way more fun than adults, anyway?), who was always fascinated with life and what the world could become; there were no boundaries, no borders; she was as much at home with her magical flute in Carnegie Hall as in her Stonehill palace, as much at home with strangers as she was with friends; Jack and I were flying in a tiny plane with her near Fresno--a very bumpy ride, we were looking at each other, not sure we were going to make it but Laila's calm ensured all would be well & it was; how reassuring she was, always that twinkle in her eye, that smile, she sparkled wherever she went, in whatever she did; she understood where you were coming from even if you sometimes didn't, she was two steps ahead of you, she had a sympathetic ear, she knew how to listen, she was the wind beneath Jack's wing, she put you at ease, a friend the moment she met you, she let you in the inner circle, she seemed to always bring out the best in you; right now, she wouldn't want you to be sorry for her, she wouldn't want you to be sad, she wouldn't want you to feel down, she'd want you to be celebrating life and all its wonder--enjoy those clouds, and all their shapes, moving slowly across the sky, that chirping robin that landed on the tree outside--you can hear her encouraging words that always lift us & always will, she'll always be with everyone lucky enough to have known her, she'll always be here--like she's just in the other room, still guiding lives, opening doors, helping make the impossible, possible, keeping us out of trouble (there's that laugh of hers), offering solutions to our daily challenges, she'll continue to help bring out the best in all of us; Laila has always been a guardian angel (a true gift from God), who doesn't want us to fret, who wants us to be all we can be, who wants us to be happy and enjoy our journey, she's a 4th of July sparkler that will never go out; her sparkle will forever light our way!
October 12, 2016
October 12, 2016
I was a young gal, working for Jack at USC, when I first met Laila and I was immediately impressed and amazed by this wonderful woman. She was so accomplished, so smart, so witty and so caring, She was kind to all...and so in love with Jack. Laila and Jack...the two of them were a perfect match, the kind of lifelong partners that every couple aspires to be.

When I found my lifelong mate, I knew I wanted my relationship with Neil to be based on the same kind of love and equal partnership that I witnessed in Jack and Laila.

She left her mark on many people...she definitely left it on me.
September 26, 2016
September 26, 2016
When I think of Aunt Laila, I am reminded of the passion she had for life. She was a highly accomplished musician, business woman and a loving partner. I always was amazed to listen to her life stories as she would share the details of her amazing experiences around the world. I will always cherish the precious times we shared together with her and Uncle Jack at our family gatherings. She made a lasting mark on the world and forever in our hearts.
September 13, 2016
September 13, 2016
Laila was a close associate and personal friend of my mother, Jane Welton. Together they created the Protone Recording label which produced many extraordinary CDs. Laila's artistry and hard work were evident in everything she did, and she was devoted to achieving perfection on the highest level. She was an accomplished flutist and brought to her career as record producer the ability to hear the subtlest details. My mother and I enjoyed the evenings we spent with Laila and jack, sharing friendship and delicious meals in their mountaintop retreat. ---Victoria Bond
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Recent Tributes
August 22, 2023
August 22, 2023
Lail, you are still with me every day, piling up hugs yet to be given, stories yet to be told. I recently had several challenges where I thought to myself; "What would Lail do?" Well, you were right every time. I look forward to your presence today and every next day.
August 22, 2023
August 22, 2023
Not a day has gone by when i have not thought about Laila, about what her thoughts or opinions would have been if she had heard my performances either on the violin or piano. We love you and miss you Laila.
August 22, 2023
August 22, 2023
Seven years for you! Fifteen years for Boop. Forty-two for Stan. Forty-three for Nana. Forty-six for Papa. All are in my memories and my dreams.
Recent stories

Laila y Vaca

July 25, 2023
This was taken as we checked out a street exhibit in San José, Costa Rica. The subject of the exhibit was the human impact on the environment. The cow represents our impact on the environment, one of the major values of that beautiful and peaceful country.

Spunk

August 22, 2020
This photo of Laila gives a hint of her spunkiness, to me at least. She was always ardent in her beliefs and actions and I think it shows through here. She was a dedicated supporter of Hillary Clinton and, after surviving that election loss in 2016, would be equally behind Joe Biden in 2020. 

Joe Biden lost his wife shortly after he won his first Senate race. In his recent acceptance of the nomination to run for president he said, regarding that loss: “I know that deep black hole that opens in the middle of your chest and you feel like you're being sucked into it.” That's exactly how I still feel about Laila. Yet we all must go on to celebrate her existence by helping to make the world a better place. As she did to the very last.

Flute fun

August 22, 2019
After Laila graduated from Northwestern University she spent a summer studying composition with Nadia Boulanger in Fontainebleau, France. While there she lived in a dorm at the school. Down the street from the dorm was a military installation whose bugler played reveille every morning to wake everyone. Including the students. One morning Laila leaned out the dorm window and played the reveille along with the bugler -- except a quarter tone lower. This broke up her fellow students and subdued the bugler for at least a week.

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