I had the opportunity two weeks ago to visit Aspen and I sought out many of the places Lani loved. I was so grateful to spend some time with her family and thought of her a lot, so I put together this story to share with others who loved Lani: https://www.storehouse.co/stories/t1898-seeing-you-everywhere

Some people were put on this earth to teach us all to be better people, and to bring our best selves to all aspects of our life. Lani was one of those people. She brought a childlike wonder, curiosity and joy to work and life, stopping for every baby and dog in her path. She had an infectious giggle. She somehow managed to combine these qualities with wisdom far beyond her years. She lived her life and led by example, showering the people around her with love and kindness.

Anyone that knows me has heard me say that I have the best job I will ever have right now. I am so thankful to have realized this and savored it - I have literally woken up every day for nearly ten years and felt grateful to work with such a special leader, as well as privileged to have such a special friend.

Lani worked from a place of total abundance, and it showed up in so many ways. Like my coworker Renee Fazzari, I talked with Lani almost once a week for nearly a decade, sometimes for hours. I never had any sense that we didn’t have enough time. She had this incredible way of making you feel special and important in her presence, and also that she was just pulling up a chair and chatting. Only now do I realize that we weren’t just talking as two colleagues. I suspect that on many topics she was much farther down the road than I was and could see where we were going, but she never let on, and always made me feel like she was right in the same place with me. Lani has shaped me and so many others in ways large and small, and I feel so lucky to have spent time with such a gifted mentor, incredible mom and dear friend. I will miss these talks most desperately.

Not everything in Lani’s life was easy, but you would never know it from your interactions with her. She responded to each new challenge with her whole heart and so much love, and I suspect that is what gave her such a sense of compassion for the struggles of other people. Here is one example: This past February one of her dearest friends, a writer for the Aspen Times, committed suicide. His daughter was close friends with Lani’s kids, and Lani struggled to help them understand Stewart’s death. She was so upset herself that she couldn’t talk about it, and simply sent the staff an email to let us know. All of Aspen was grieving, and so every school pickup and grocery store run was full of tears. So Lani booked a ticket and came out to San Francisco for a few days. She decided to call together a small group of funders that she had been wanting to talk to. She set up an informal lunch gathering where we started to talk, not about what we fund, but how we fund and approach philanthropy. Even in the midst of tragedy, Lani reached out and built community, and in her vision and creativity a group of funders that now affectionately calls itself The How Club was born.

Seeing the outpouring of love for Lani has been heartbreaking, and a true inspiration. She has mentored and nurtured more people than I can count, and always had time to talk to those who needed her guidance, particularly younger leaders. She has been a North Star for so many of us, and a moral compass in the field of philanthropy.

Lani was one of the most present people I have ever met – she showed up in such a way that even people who only met her once remember the meeting. She brought an incredible authenticity and integrity to everything, even small interactions. In the past two weeks, when news of Lani’s passing began to circulate, I came to realize just how amazing that quality is. The first few days I received heartbreaking and beautiful emails from many RJ leaders and funders that had been inspired, mentored, and moved by Lani. Then I started to receive emails from people who had met her once, but that meeting had a quality that made it memorable. One funder colleague wrote to me that his conference coordinator had been devastated to hear the news - she and Lani had exchanged a number of emails in the run up to a conference that Lani had attended for the first time this spring, and Lani was, in his words, “apparently unusually (for someone in our universe asking for assistance or information) friendly and respectful with her.” Then I started to receive emails from people who had never met Lani, but who knew, because of the way the foundation moved in the world, and because of the way that we on staff talked about her in our meetings, that she was someone special.

I knew Lani was an incredible social justice movement leader. After attending her Memorial in Aspen last week, I now understand on a totally new level how much impact she had on the place where she lived. The sanctuary that seated 250 people was filled to bursting, and we ushers led several dozens to an overflow room that was already set up. Renee talked to one of her friends at the reception and told him of memorials planned in San Francisco and New York. He teared up and said - There are more of us?

Here are some of the other words I have heard used to describe Lani in the past two weeks:

*Gentle and fierce
*Radical and patient
*Curious and full of wonder
*One of the deepest listeners I have ever met

I can’t think of another leader that possesses this combination of qualities. Except maybe her beloved Yoda. Lani’s passing has changed my life. Lani always shined more brightly than anyone around her, and I am devastated at the thought of moving forward without her to light the way. I am also quite literally thunderstruck by the power that one person can have in the world.

Even in her death she continues to teach all of us to be our best selves - to hug and treasure the people we love, to create a world where everyone can thrive, and above all to lead with love.

Lani was able to love her kids without limits, and yet her heart was big enough to love the whole world. My heart is broken, and also full of awe for this incredibly special person that I have had the great privilege to know. I love and miss you so much, Lani. We should all aspire to a life as full of love, connection and impact as yours.

Last November in Washington DC, Lani was presenting to a room of philanthropic colleagues, most of whom she’d never met. Half way through the presentation, she found her hand casually resting on the leg of the co-presenter sitting beside her. Unfazed, she paused for only a moment before commenting: “It’s testament to the deep work we did together that I have only known Steven for a few weeks, and yet my hand is touching his leg right now, and somehow, that’s okay.” The eyes in the room shifted inquisitively to Steven, who added: “I can confirm, it really is okay.”

This story exemplifies in a nutshell the Lani I knew and loved. She had a silly, disarming charm that made it easy to love her. It was her serious approach to the work of philanthropy juxtaposed with this intuitive, playful approach to relationship building that made Lani such a beacon in her professional community. And it was no doubt her infectious, uninhibited giggle that kept the room in stitches long after her hand left Steven’s lap.

Lani understood the value of relationships. Even if you only met her once, you felt close to her because she was fully present and she cared to know everyone, no matter their stature or status, background or position, context, persuasion, or age.

I met Lani when I was 22. She was a board member at an organization where I was hired on as support staff. She was starting a project with the General Service Foundation focused on young leaders and asked me to serve as an advisor. As a young woman at the outset of my career, Lani was one of the few people to take a genuine interest in who I was and what I had to say. Most notably, she was curious about what new insight I might hold because I was a young person in the field, not in spite of it.

When Lani asked me to join the General Service Foundation as a Program Officer at the age of 25, I was junior in most rooms by a decade or more. But she never had the slightest doubt that I belonged. I estimate she accelerated my career by 5 to 10 years simply by believing in me.

I know now Lani was the greatest mentor I could ever hope to have. But at the time, I’m not sure I would have described her as such. Part of her effortless skill was to operate from a place of parity, even when I could hardly be considered her equal. Instead of being trained as her subordinate, she empowered me as her peer.

Over the years she became one of my best friends and closest confidants. No subject was off the table and every emotion, challenge, setback, and accomplishment was honored even while it was critically explored. It is this combination of acceptance balanced by expectation for further growth that made Lani so pivotal in my career and beyond.

But you can’t know Lani through one person’s story, because it’s the sheer number of people who had an experience similar to mine that made her truly remarkable. In the last week, staff and board of the Foundation received countless messages from colleagues around the country who felt this deep connection and mentorship from Lani.

Notes like this one from Desiree Flores: She was there for me as a young 20-something just starting out in philanthropy, up until present day. I’ve relied on her smart advice and incredible kindness throughout all phases of my career.

Or another from Kalpana Krishnamurthy: Lani always made me feel like my contributions were valuable, that I wasn't just some angry young woman of color in philanthropic spaces.

One person mentioned that he only met Lani twice but those two meetings gave him a whole different sense of his career path because she took him so seriously.

Lani had a heart that held hundreds. And if she was holding you and she was with you, she gave you her perfect and total attention, making you feel seen and heard and valued in her presence.

The depth of her love for people extended far beyond those she knew personally. I think that’s why injustice hit so hard for Lani. Wherever she saw others unable to live full and abundant lives – whether in her field, her community, her country, or beyond – she was pulled to act.

Through the Foundation’s funding, Lani connected with the Colorado Immigrant Rights Coalition, an organization that works to make the state more welcoming to all by organizing immigrants and amplifying their voices. When Lani found out they had a small chapter in the Roaring Fork Valley, she began volunteering her time with the group of young leaders.

She told me how inspired she was by the DREAMER activists she met: immigrant youth who came here as young children, bravely standing up for their right to attend high school without fear of deportation and then to go on and afford state universities. She saw in some of the leaders an incredible spark and courage. She told me that she expected one of them in particular to some day be state Governor. And her commitment ran deep. Even on a cold winter night, she bundled up Jack and Katie and took them to a candlelight vigil organized by the youth.

It’s not every Director of a foundation that would get involved at the grassroots-level in this way. Lani’s work was complex and challenging and most of us – I have to admit myself included – often go home exhausted and satisfied with the good we do through our day jobs. But Lani seemed to have boundless energy to continue fighting for what she believed in. And perhaps most amazingly, she never sought an ounce of credit. What motivated Lani was not the limelight but the outcome. And if she could help, whether as a presence in the crowd or a voice on the board, she was there.

And so in her professional life, I will always remember Lani’s ability to lead with intuition and grace, her remarkable ease at sitting with uncertainty. Many will recall how she could be so terribly disorganized at times and how she rarely had a plan – even when we all begged her to! – but it always, somehow, seemed to work out. Instead of fretting and plotting, she invested her time in support of what she knew to be the movement’s greatest asset: people.  By doing so she was quietly crafting a vast web of deep connections. That web will long be compelled by Lani’s vision of a better world. We will continue her work.

Of course, this spirit of connection was nowhere more true than with Lani’s closest friends and her children. I consider myself one of the lucky ones because I got to talk to Lani nearly every week for more than a decade. Despite her many responsibilities, we started most calls with 10 minutes, 20 minutes, sometimes the better part of an hour connecting personally. My own heartbreak in this tragedy is that I will no longer enjoy her sharp insight, eagerness to conspire, or heartfelt friendship in navigating this beautiful and complicated world. We were supposed to become old ladies together, meeting on couches and barstools for decades to come to reflect on the changing times and help calibrate each other’s course.

One area we often explored was her approach to being a mom. Lani was a model for me as a mother, and if my son grows up to be anything like Katie and Jack, I will consider my job very well done. I love how closely she listened to them, to the value she placed on open and honest communication, to the way they delighted together in the wonder of the world, more as co-explorers than as parent and child. Lani was in all ways the model of joyous motherhood.

I have a vivid image of Lani from a few years back, after my husband and I picked up the family from the train station in San Francisco. In the rear view mirror, I could see her wedged between the car seats of Jack and Katie in the back of my little Prius. Even following a long day of travel, Lani showed no signs of impatience. Instead, Lani, Jack, and Katie giggled all the way to dinner, trading inside jokes and whispering silly secrets.

And so to you, Katie and Jack, I want to share my first-hand knowledge of how deeply your mama loved you. In all those weekly conversations we had, there was never a time Lani was happier than when sharing stories of your growth and adventure. Your mama left us too early, but I see so much of her in you: she lives on through your courage during this difficult time, and she will live on in every accomplishment and challenge you face from here on out.

The love in this room for the two of you is huge. We are here for you – all of us. But this love is unequal to the love your mom held for you and to the joy that each of you, in your special and amazing ways, gave back to her every single day. You were her perfect angels and that is forever how it will be. 

As many of you know, Lani and the kids took great inspiration from the Star Wars epic, and increasingly Lani brought this up in conversation with her peers. In the past few days I was compelled to unearth for myself the great wisdom of her beloved Yoda. This description from Wookiepedia (yes, Wookie-pedia) of the little green guru could just as easily describe Lani herself: 

“Though arguably the Order's greatest master of the Force and most skilled warrior, Yoda believed most firmly in the importance of instructing younger generations and never missed an opportunity to ensure his students learn from their experiences. At heart, the diminutive Jedi Master was a teacher; indeed, he instructed nearly all the Jedi in the order, to some extent, during his reign as Grand Master.”

I know we are all facing an uncertain future without our treasured friend and gifted leader, yet we cannot shut down or give in to fear. As Lani and Jack could certainly quote Yoda: “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

To counter this fear takes courage.  David Whyte, a writer introduced to me by Lani, says:

“Courage is the measure of our heartfelt participation with life, with another, with a community, a work, a future. To be courageous, is not necessarily to go anywhere or do anything except to make conscious those things we already feel deeply and then to live through the unending vulnerabilities of those consequences. Whether we stay or whether we go - to be courageous is to stay close to the way we are made.”

I hope we can all be inspired by the extent to which Lani lived this truth. She was always herself, no matter the circumstance or consequence, and everyone loved her for it.

Lani – life will never be the same without you, and yet we will all try to have the courage to walk authentically in your footsteps. When we do, we… and the world… will be better for it. And when, inevitably, we fall short, we’ll feel the compassionate touch of your hand resting lightly on our leg, reminding us that life is most fully experienced in deep connection to those we love.

I love you, Lani. 

I met Lani when we shared a ride home from college freshman year. It was Thanksgiving, the first break to return to our homes from beginning the rest of our lives. We immediately hit it off and have remained great friends since. As with all who read these pages, I formed a true bond with Little Lani: one of friendship, pride and love.

I will forever be grateful to Lani, as she is one to put others together and she introduced me to wonderful friends I might never have otherwise known. She pulled me -- with the help of our friend John Lewis -- into her incredibly tight-knit band of college friends. College being what it is (and Bucknell University in the late 80s being what it was), Greek life was the be-all and end-all. (I know. I know.) We each formed our own little mirror cliques. By senior year, though, the lines blurred and we sought out friends we might have had more in common with than 3 greek letters on an ill-fitting sweatshirt. And it was at this time that Lani helped to pull me into her orbit. She vouched for me. She had bona fides. I would call them a "tribe," but resist because I can just hear the heaps of abuse I would garner from Steakhead, Denis, Kurt, Butt, Lisa & Kirsten, Swanny, Jodi, Hilary, Truby, Susie, Richard, Matt Early, Jon Romm, etc... and rightly so. Hell, if you were at the funeral, you met them and know what I am talking about. I envy the strength of their friendship. It is really spectacular to behold. And, always, Lani was at the center.

Truly, though, it was after college in New York where Lani & I & Kirsten forged a dedicated friendship of talking too loud, drinking too much and staying up too late. If college was fun, post-college life in NYC was an epic period of trying on adulthood all within the safety of friends you loved & trusted.

The years pass by with increasing velocity and we all moved down our own paths. Having last seen Lani in person at her wedding, we had reconnected thanks to the always-maddening, never-ignored facebook. And so I got to see Lani's life in Aspen as a welcome voyeur. I got to tag along on her camping trips with her children... see celebrations with co-workers... and, most importantly, trade emails with her sporadically. Whether we were talking sports or kids, it is affirming to know that with those you knew intensely 20 years previous... you can pick up with the same understanding and love. 

The chill down my spine as I read, with alarm & sadness, of Lani's passing on that same FB platform that had allowed us to reconnect, cannot be measured. I know how much my heart is broken and how less my life is for not having Lani in it. I can only imagine, with horror and empathy, what this loss is for Jack & Katie.  But I am filled with hope, too, knowing that their family & this incredible tribe (that word, again... ugh) of people is here to raise & love them.

We know many people in our lives, but only a few are unique forces of positivity that just simply make you happy to be around them. I am lucky. Lani was my friend.

I love you, Lani. 

I was honored to speak at Lani's memorial. Lani's mother, Ann, asked me to post the statement that I read at that time:

At our school (the Aspen Community School), during the transitional life event that is eighth grade graduation, students compose an I Believe statement. It is a powerful rite of passage that incorporates characteristics that remind me of Lani: self-reflection, honesty, passion and vision. In honor of Lani, with compassion for all those who loved her dearly, and in the spirit of the community school…This I Believe.

I believe in common ground. Lani and I met roughly a quarter of a century ago. We were both rock and roll groupies – in love with musicians – their expressiveness and their ardor. Lani was a sea of calm in that tumultuous environment. A touch stone even then. Somehow we both successfully navigated the 80’s and 90’s! I was thrilled when our paths crossed again through her involvement with the school.

I believe that Lani lived life as an active participant. She showed up, she reveled, she spoke her truth, she took a stand. She volunteered regularly at the school, attended events and meetings with consistency and complete devotion to her children. She advocated for causes she believed in and was not intimidated by a challenge. Recently she contacted us ready to tackle the state legislature in an effort to overturn the Gallagher and TABOR amendments so as to improve school funding. If that doesn’t sound scary to you, trust me, it is.

I believe that Lani had wisdom beyond her years. Her eyes twinkled with humor and insight and appreciation of life’s ironies. She had a compassionate heart and a ready, warm smile.

I believe that Lani loved her life and the people in it – especially her beautiful children, Jack and Katie. And, as is evident here today, Lani was deeply loved in return. We should all be so loved.

I believe that it is very hard to do justice to a rich and meaningful life in a brief moment like this. We lost Lani decades too early. Life throws curveballs. Sometimes we can instantly understand their meaning but often, like now, they are incomprehensible. In our human condition we struggle to find meaning where there often is none.

I believe in the words of Mary Oliver:

To live in this world you must be able to do three things:

To love what is mortal;

To hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends upon it;

And, when the time comes

To let it go.

To let it go.

I believe in community. Last Tuesday was a powerful day on campus – a convergence of tremendous grief for Lani and the joy of our groundbreaking ceremony. It could have been awkward but instead we gathered together and allowed the harmony of conflicted emotions. Even though our lives have been forever altered by this loss, and our hearts ache to bursting, we have enormous capacity to heal and grow through the most difficult of times. Lani’s death has left this community bereft but also determined and united in our commitment to lift her family up. We are here for you. We are here for one another.

I believe that reincarnation is living on through the people we love. Lani has touched us all in unique and powerful ways. When a memory catches you by surprise, or a moment evokes Lani, don’t brush it off to protect your aching heart. When you smell a spring rain in the canyons – breath deep. When you hear her children’s music, or one of Dan’s songs – listen. Welcome the feelings in. Stop in your tracks and relish the moment of holding her close. She may be physically absent but she can still be with us always.

This I believe.

Lani was a friend and a great supporter of what I’m trying to do. I mostly knew her through her colleagues, Renee and Holly, but she had a profound impact on me.

We first met last August over lunch with Renee. I was in the midst of what turned out to be the most difficult period of my transition away from consulting and into capacity-building. I was working on ideas in which I deeply believed, but I was badly in need of meaningful validation, and I ended up talking much more than I usually do.

Lani listened thoughtfully and carefully, and she offered a few suggestions afterward. Over the next several months, she started following both my personal and professional blogs, often leaving supportive, thoughtful comments on my Facebook page. She was incredibly self-reflective, and there was always something very real about everything she wrote and shared.

Part of the reason I left consulting was that I wanted to find ways to have a bigger impact on the world. One of the things that consultants, startups, and foundations all have in common is that we all look for big numbers somewhere, anywhere, as a proxy for impact.

Being conscious of these indicators without becoming beholden to them requires great discipline, in large part because nothing in this crazy world of ours is linear. Small acts ripple into vast movements in ways that we don’t understand and can’t predict. The impact business is one part science, two parts luck, and three parts religion. Most of what we do comes down to faith.

I’m not sure what big numbers to point to when it comes to the impact that Lani had on the world. But I and the many people whose lives she touched don’t need those numbers. We all know.

I know, because I know how much she touched my life in such a short amount of time.

I know, because I know how I felt every time she sent me a note.

I know, because I saw how she ran her organization and the relationship she had with her staff. They were all equally committed to their mission, their community, and to each other.

I know, because I saw the relationship she had with her colleagues, her grantees, her community, her friends.

I know, because I know how I felt when I learned of her passing. I hadn’t known her long, but I felt deep, deep pain. And I quickly learned how widely that pain continues to be felt, how many people whom Lani loved and touched and who love her in return.

I know that impact starts with how you treat yourself and how you treat others. However, the more I meet people like Lani, the more I believe that impact is all about those two things. I’m not sure anything else matters. Lani was kind, humble, funny, and fierce. She cared tremendously about her family, her friends, and the world at large. The world is a better place because of who she was and how she lived her life, and I feel blessed to have known her. 

It's hard to choose just one story to capture the essence of Lani as I knew her. I only met Lani a year ago, and I can say, true to her power, she had an out-sized influence on my life in that short period of time.

Our very first meeting was a professional lunch, brokered by the wonderful Renee. We of course greeted with a hug, and when I asked the obligatory "how are you," Lani disarmed me with her response.

She gave a deep sigh, and gave a very troubled "fiiinnne. I'm just sad." I had caught her right in the transition from saying goodbye to her kids, getting ready for a week long work stint away from home. They'd taken the train out from Colorado together, then spent the weekend with friends in the east bay. It was such a joyful trip and vacation, she was already missing Jack and Katie and sharing openly the struggle to transition to a work week without them.

I know few people who can take a casual, meaningless, polite work greeting and turn it into an authentic moment. We proceeded to have a joyful, stimulating, intriguing lunch. By feeling so deeply and sharing so transparently what she was experiencing in the moment, she moved us right past politeness into the real work of being human together.

Thus kicked off a year of playing with Lani: musing how to really push boundaries and take risks in philanthropy, drinking old-fashions, talking about Yoda, and conspiring to force our beloved american Football past it's violent, evil corporate ways.

I will miss Lani dearly in my work, and am forever grateful to have had the privilege of sharing in just a small amount of her light. She always found a way to see the best in us, to be honest, thoughtful, authentic (even about fears and concerns), while somehow helping all of us overcome those concerns with giggles, joys, and an unwavering optimism about those around her.

I often reflected how she was the essence of the new leadership model our society so desparately needs. I will probably spend many years to come trying to capture just what that was, and never truly understand the magic that made her such an impactful, effective, magnetic leader. I'm trying to believe, as Lani did, that we can make it through without her. But she will be sorely, sorely missed. I will continue to try to do as Yoda teaches, and rejoice for dear Lani joining the force.

Some people were put on this earth to teach us all to be better people, and to bring our best selves to all aspects of our life. Lani was one of those people. She brought a childlike wonder, curiosity and joy to work and life, stopping for every baby and dog in her path. She had an infectious giggle. She somehow managed to combine these qualities with wisdom far beyond her years. She lived her life and led by example, showering the people around her with love, kindness and integrity.

I have literally woken up every day for nearly ten years and felt grateful to work with such a special leader, as well as privileged to have such a special friend. She has shaped me and so many others in ways large and small, and I feel so lucky to have spent time with such a gifted mentor, incredible mom and true friend.

The ripples that flow from such a bright spirit leaving us far too soon are almost too much to bear. Lani always shined more brightly than anyone around her, and I am devastated at the thought of moving forward without her to light the way. My heart goes out to the many, many people that love her, especially her two beautiful children.

Seeing the outpouring of love for Lani has been heartbreaking, and a true inspiration. She has mentored and nurtured more people than I can count, and always had time to talk to those who needed her guidance, particularly younger leaders. She has been a North Star for so many of us, and a moral compass in the field of philanthropy.

Even in her death she continues to teach all of us to be our best selves - to hug and treasure the people we love, to create a world where everyone can thrive, and above all to lead with love.

Lani loved Yoda very deeply, and I know that it was with Jack that she shared her deepest Star Wars connection. She would quote Yoda all the time and channeled her inner Yoda in all sorts of work settings. So I commissioned a "yoda catcher" necklace for her from a good friend so the Force could always be with her.

The night I gave it to her (the night of this photo), she also had her hip new eagle shirt on. The eagle had taken on special symbolism for Lani since the death of her grandmother several months ago - she seemed to see them everywhere, far more often than before. In January she sent a few of us an email noting the extraordinary eagle sitings and writing: "Katie says it was my grandmother, and I'm not one to argue with her observations." 

She also sent us a link to this site packed with eagle wisdom: http://www.shamanicjourney.com/article/6031/eagle-power-animal-symbol-of-spirit-vision-and-strength

The whole post describes Lani eerily well (e.g. "weighing less than a domestic cat, Eagles strength has nothing to do with his size") but the first paragraph really sums it up:

"Eagle's medicine includes swiftness, strength, courage, wisdom, keen sight, illumination of Spirit, healing, creation, knowledge of magic, ability to see hidden spiritual truths, rising above the material to see the spiritual, ability to see the overall pattern/big picture, connection to spirit guides and teachers and higher truths, great power and balance, dignity with grace, intuitive and creative spirit, respect for the boundaries of the regions, grace achieved through knowledge and hard work." 

With the possible exception of "swiftness" : ), this is exactly as I knew her. Lani was my greatest mentor and she will continue to teach me long past her death. She instilled in me and everyone around her a reverence for life, laughter, love, intuition, and humanity. It has always been that when I channel Lani, I am a better person, and it will continue to be so. I am one of the lucky ones - I got 12 years of deeply meaningful time connecting with this precious and powerful woman. I am broken without you, Lani, but I know that your eagle spirit lives on in every life that you touched during your far-too-short time.

She believed this last paragraph through and through. And so be at peace, Lani, in the world of Spirit:

"Mental and emotional shapeshifting is sometimes necessary if we want to grow and learn. As with all things there are risks involved in allowing our beings to assume new forms, however the rewards are greater. Eagle asks us to recognise that the earth is not our only home, as well for us to join it in the flight to our true home - the world of Spirit."