Even though March 11, 2018 @ 2:39 pm will mark one year of my son Larry Clabin Heavenly Anniversary, it is still so surreal.
It seemed like yesterday while taking him home from Monique Cleary's I asked him, Son, can you still sing? Without hesitation he started singing in soprano one of Eddie Kendricks song ‘Skipping Work’. He was singing and I was nodding my head to the beat. Now, ‘Skipping Work’ is one of my favorites and he sounded so good; I decided to join in.
We were a jamm’n, him in soprano and me in my best singing voice.Me and my son riding down the highway just a grooving.When I turned my smiling bobbing head to his, to connect on a beat, he just burst out laughing.
He looked at me and said, “Mommy you still can’t sing nor do you know the words to the song, but I still love to watch you enjoy yourself.”What you mean I can’t sing, I sang you to sleep many days and your sister loved me to sing to her,” I said.“Really Mommy, she was 5yrs old and didn’t know any better.But guess what Mommy, you can sing for me any day, I love it!”
He may be physically gone, however when I visit Benton Harbor I still see friends of mine and his, such as Dewayne Robinson whom didn’t know Larry had passed. The conversations bring me joy of how his classmates got hit, sprang ankles, sore muscles playing sports while Larry was the one surrounded by girls singing in the Madrigals.
Hollywood, that was his nickname to some, was my Eddie Kendricks and for me that night taking him home to Dayton, felt like we could have been up on stage performing for our family and friends, except for one thing, he was right, I really can’t sing!
RIP My beloved Son, Mommy (Cynthia Stevens)
Yesterday, I was thinking that tomorrow, November 12, 2018 would have been my sons, Larry Clabin's, 46TH birthday! To help me deal with the sorrow, emotional void and stop mourning myself into a deep depression, I had to take a step back, relax and have a few moments of silence along with some more tissue to wipe my tears away, blow my nose and pray. Seemed as though I have been doing a lot of that since August, my birthday month. I missed him tremendously during that time. So much that I couldn’t even write about it. (:>(
As I sit here wallowing in misery, out of the blue, it dawned on me what I told Larry when his father passed. “It is God’s will not ours! Do not question what he does just cherish the time you had with him and think of some the special stories, words of wisdom the two of you shared to help you through the roughest minutes, moments and days. Son, there will be a lot of those depressing days but I am sure you have a lot of memories of your Dad to carry you through. God will help you remember when you need to the most”.
Wow, God is with me today! Reminding me to practice what I preach! Therefore, today I am taking the high road! After all Larry is my first child, only son and according to his sister Monique Cleary, “the favorite”. It’s Larry’s birthday and I am going to celebrate like its 1999: One of his favorite Prince songs, for my favorite (just kidding Pearl). With God carrying me as I write this story.
If Larry could see me, in my office today, he would say that's my Mommy!!. Happy Birthday Balloons are floating in the air as pictures of him, showing me all those pearly whites line my window sills. French vanilla roasted coffee fills the air as I sample a small piece of his favorite cake growing up, Strawberry, with icing only on one side. For 46 years, God allowed us, his family, friends, and classmates, hospital roommates, Dr.’s, Surgeons, Nurses, Anesthesiologist and people he met, along the way, enjoy his life! The wonderful people in his neighborhood as well as the ones at Big Lot’s and Speedway looked forward to conversations with him as he bought his Harley Davidson (scooter) to a stop LOL!! Thank you God!! Thank you again God for rewinding and pressing play on the story below to help me through today!!
Me:Larry what do you want for your birthday?Larry:Whatever you and Pops want to get me. Why not surprise me Mommy!
Me:Okay we’ll do just that.
A few days later.
Larry:Mommy what did you and Pops get me?
Me thinking, I wonder how long it’ll take him to ask for a watch..LOL therefore, I choose my words wisely.
Me:Why you need something?
Larry: No not really, surprise me!
Me:Good I don’t want to get you something you need. We can get that at a later time. For your birthday, it will be a surprise.
A few more days past
Larry:Mommy my birthday is getting closer, what did you and Pops get me?
Me:I thought you wanted me to surprise you.
Larry:I do but can you give me a hint?
Me:A good hint or off the wall hint?
Larry:In the middle.
Me:Okay one hint and that’s all.You can wear it, how about that?
Larry:Mommy that’s not a hint? Pause: Okay I’ll wait.Oh did you buy it yet?
Me:Singing, Yes, it should be there the day before or on your birthday! Now I gotta go, will talk to you later…He interrupts me like clockwork.
Larry:Wait Mommy, don’t hang up, I forgot to tell you something!
Me: What Son I say with a mommy’s smile on my face.
Larry:I love you lots Mommy, tell Pops I love him too.Naw that’s okay I’ll call him.
Me:I love you more Son but Pops is not going to tell you what we got you either, now…Lol
Larry:Okay I’ll call Sis…LOL
Me: Good luck with that….
We both are laughing as we hang up the phone.
I miss my Son greatly and today, I am celebrating like its 1999! R.I.H Son!
On Mother’s Day, I yearned for another opportunity to hear another one my Son, Larry Clabin funny stories as to why I would be receiving my gift late (about 1 -2 weeks). LOL </span>
Last year he kept calling me. Our conversations went something like this: Larry: “Mommy your gift will be late but you should get your card on time? Me: “No problem Son, I will be looking forward to it! Saturday before Mother’s Day
Larry Clabin Mommy did you get your Mother’s Day card?
Me: No it’ll probably come Monday. You know Mother’s Day is a busy one for the Post Office.” Monday Larry: Mommy did you get the card? Me: No not yet. Larry: You should have received it by now. Me: No not yet. The next day same thing. The end of the week. Larry: “Mommy you should have received it by now.”
Me: You did write my address on the envelope instead of your sister (Monique Cleary) right?” Larry: “Of course Mommy, I know your address by heart because I memorized it before I went to the Post Office.” Me: “Okay what is it?” Larry Laughing: I don’t know it now. That was just long enough for me to get to the Post Office.” We both laughed and laughed. Me: Why didn’t you write it down? Larry laughing: My hands were shaking so bad, I made a long line across the envelope! We both cracked up laughing again! He called me everyday asking the same question, “Mommy did you get the card yet?” Three weeks later he calls me: Larry: Laughing: Mommy guess what?
Me: You forgot to mail the card? Larry: I put your address on it and my zip code. Laughter, Laughter, Laughter {I’m sorry Mommy I’ll send it so you can see what I did. Me: Son I you are so funny! Hey I did get the dress and it was beautiful! Larry: I’m glad you like it Mommy! See I still know what you like even though I had to think hard about it because I am so forgetful!
Me: you are not going to believe this. It wouldn’t fit me but I tried it on Grandma and broke the zipper trying to zip it up. It was too little for her and she only weighs 105lbs. LOL! It did fit my, fit my 11yr old granddaughter who is 5’3 and 85lbs. LOL
Larry: Mommy what do you expect, I purchased it from China!
Gosh I miss my Son….RIP Larry Clabin
Got up this morning praising the Lord that my son, Larry Clabin is walking, skating, singing, spreading his humor and happy. Yes it's hard, very hard! Pearl Monique Cleary, Larry and I would be on three way at least every 8 days on my hour ride home from work. We would laugh, talk about everything, sometimes about nothing and of course they took up for each other when I added my motherly 2 cents on a subject we didn't see eye-to-eye on. LOL! When I would agree with Larry Pearl would say "see brother, I told you you were the favorite! LOL! I say "yeah Pearl but remember what your own friend Loraine says, you got nice Easter baskets until you were 32. Now my Grannie Cutie gets them! So you are spoiled!" LOL We would just laugh and laugh and laugh. Them enjoying our conversations and me being blessed that I had two loving children to help me enjoy my 1hr ride home. Before you knew it that hour seemed like 15 minutes when I realize that I was pulling into my garage. It never failed, Larry would say "don't hang up Mommy! I forgot to say something. Sis you hanging up?" I'd say "boy your Pops is standing in the doorway with that big smile on his face I'll call you back later". "Okay Mommy call me back. Tell Pops I love him, Love you lots Mommy!" Sis don't hang up..." I'd hear him say before I kissed my Sweetheart hello. After all these years he stilled called me Mommy vs Mom! I loved that about our relationship. As I cry while looking at the slideshow of him that Stacy Masters created. I thank God everyday for people like her that give from the heart expecting nothing in return. Yes I do cry but they are tears of joy filled with a whole lot of love because my son's happiness overwhelms my sadness. RIP my Son!
My baby misses her Uncle Larry so much, she wanted to watch the slide show again tonight (thanks Stacy Masters). After the slide show she requested I lie down and face her while she cried about her uncle. Well, normally I do good a very good job of telling her to remember the good times, he's always in our hearts, looking down on us etc. Well, not tonight, I broke down right along side my 4yr old and through her tears, she told me everything I had ever told her when she felt sad about her Uncle as she wiped my face. I couldn't help but smile, I was so proud of her and I know he's proud of us both.
Larry and Jason two first cousins cousins were so excited about graduating high school together! They smiled for days and days and days and my sister Susan and I couldn't have been more happier. Larry born November 13th and Jason December 2nd just a few weeks apart and believe me when I say they act like they were brothers more than first cousins. And this picture Susan is in the yellow then Jason and my first cousin Terry and then Larry. My son looked so cool, and always had swag that's why call them Hollywood! Thanks sister dear for posting this picture
Larry sent me a picture of his new dentures that he hardly ever wore. They look like his own!
I purchased two wind wheels so we both had the same thing in our yard. Him in Dayton, me in Grand Rapids.
Larry and Jason decided to take their Auntie Stella, whom Larry is now with, up on her offer to spend their summer with her in California rather than have a graduation party. Susan and I sent our sister money just for their appetites LOL. They had an absolute ball. Stella spoiled the heck out of them.
Son, there were so many occasions you overwhelmed me with happiness. For instance, when you were born weighing 2lb 10 oz with no health issues and another baby weighed the same and spent a year in Bronson hospital. Boy did I count my blessings!
Between 3 - 5 years old, some people thought you were a girl, because you had big eyes, super long lashes and I French braided your hair. You were teased, and you refuse to fight back until one day at a family bar-b-que you, punched your cousin Chucky in the nose and made it bleed! I was so overwhelmed with happiness that you fought back that I forgot to ask how Chucky was doing.
When Pearl was born in Colorado, so many cute little girls on the military base came to see her. This one plump, lets’ say not so cute, 9-year-old girl knocked at the door and said I came to see the baby”. Your big eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and a big smile crossed your face. I realized then you recognized inner beauty, and that me and your Dad must be doing something right.
One summer this little girl name Amy would push Pearl off her own bike and Amy would ride it like it was her own. As a big brother you explained to Pearl that if she didn’t fight back or stand up for herself, she might as well give that Amy her bike. One day you walked behind Pearl as she rode her bike and when Amy pushed her… Let’s just say Pearl never had that problem again. I was so proud of you and happy that Pearl at 5 yrs. old, would no longer be bullied!
Every year during high school you had so much confidence and determination that you were going to make the basketball team. At 5’4” you would tell me “Mom I am going to make it this year.” Right after dinner you would go out in the driveway and practice on the rim. I asked your brother Lanell did he think you had a chance. No way was his answer, but I had Lanell practice with you anyway for if you were determined now, that’s how you would approach various life circumstances, with determination, confidence, perseverance and humor.
One evening you went to church with your girlfriend Melissa and came back baptized. I was pissed to the highest of pisstivity that I wasn’t there to witness it. It took me a few days before I came to my senses that you gave your life to God. I couldn’t have been happier.
At 33 in the middle of the night you awakened screaming in excoriating pain. We met you in Ohio at the hospital and that’s when we found out you could not walk, and the Dr. said you may never walk again. You looked at the Dr. through all that pain and then told Theresa I am going to walk! I praised God for days that you had such a positive attitude and was depending on him to see you through!
After months of asking others to take you to your appointments, Me and Pop’s get a call at 11:30 pm on a work day, saying “I’m rolling Mom, I’m rolling Mom, your son is rolling”. Even though it was a motorized wheelchair, you acted like it was a Mercedes Benz. I cried tears of joy that you were so happy!
When you had an aneurysm and you were bleeding like water, Theresa cried on your shoulders while your 16yr old, balled like a baby. You soothed your wife by rubbing her long hair and said it’s okay Theresa, I have plans for us. We are going to go places and I will walk again. No need to cry, I will be fine”. I was thanking the Lord for your strength and courage.
A couple of days later, while still in the hospital, I walked in your room and you said “Mommy, I found a job I can do!” I said what is that Son. With excitement in your voice you told me how a man in a wheelchair came to draw your blood and said you could go thru a training class and do the same thing. You said, “I can do that Mommy, he is going to bring me some information back in a few.” I said Son I am so happy for you that you are continuing to search for a job you can do, but I have one question. What are you going to do about your shaking? You just laughed and said, “back to the drawing board.” I thanked God that you were my son and always found humor in the oddest places.
Pops just happened to call you while you were outside in your wheelchair trying to get the snow, the snow-plow had left at the foot of your driveway. You laughed cause your chair kept sliding just when you would get snow in the shovel and you would drop it. Your feet were so swollen that you had to wear three pair of socks with your slippers. I thought you were crazy myself, but I laughed also when Pops told me the story. Then he told me we needed to buy you a snow blower.
When the family purchased you an orange scooter, it was your Harley Davidson! You pimped it out with Denver Bronco decals, and every day you went to speedway, dollar tree or big lots. On holidays you went to the store to pick up that forgotten ingredient for Theresa. You loved that scooter and every time you were on it and you called me, I was so happy that it made you feel independent and proud to be able to go to the store for your wife!
Since you passed, even though I have been crying just thinking about you and missing you; missing our weekly three way talks with you, Pearl and me on my 80-mile drive from work. I am however so overwhelmed with happiness that you are now walking, playing basketball, skating and entertaining everyone with your sense of humor, that it is over powering my sadness.
I miss you son, but your legacy will live on!
