He had a very strange outlook on life, going through bullying at school and life in general.he had identity issues,never feeling though he fitted in,he plodded on through life putting a brave smile on.obviously the problems overcame him,he never felt happy so he turned to alcohol when he was 19, his appetite had gone.he created a son but that is a sore issue,all down to drink as that was his coping mechanism.he had other health issues with severe anxiety and depression and has recently had infections everywhere.his liver and pancreas have been shot with the drink,he was just waiting to have a scan on his testicles as they had been trouble for a while and could of been amputated.his stomach had ulcers from the white cider over the years he was on 9 litres a day at one point.he just recently had cut down to 6 cans of normal strength beer just to live as long as he could and enjoy his xbox,wii and laptop.he fought hard to try to cope with the last few days pretending that nothing was wrong.he didnt tell anyone as he cudnt cope with the day to day running of life,it was to difficult for him,with all the pressure,and people telling him lies that he was fine,he knew deep down that it wasnt. TO BE HONEST I AM WRITING MY OWN MEMORIAL BECAUSE I MESSED UP MY LIFE AND WANTED TO PAY HOMAGE TO SHOW PEOPLE HOW NOT TO MESS UP AND TO USE MY LIFE AS AN EXAMPLE OF HOW TO AVOID SUCH A TRAGIC END TO A GUD INSPIRING LIFE. I WAS ON THE MEND I HAD BEEN OFF THE POP FOR 3 MONTHS,NOW I BEEN ON A BINGE TO MANY TIMES thinking i cud last that little bit longer but have had an eventful 26 years.i cant cope anymore with life,this last week i have had 40 cans of beer,i am too scared to sleep cuz i know that i have dun too much this time.for all you people out there who have known me over the years and given me so much support,i appreciate i love you all.    i am really struggling and crying at the moment as this is really hard for me to write, i have no energy at all. god bless you all.    this cud be my final day, i have never felt this ill before and am truly scared.   i said last year that i wouldnt make 27 and i was right........no one ever listens oh well ay xxxxxx