So today you would've been 82. It's been 9 years since I've saw your beautiful face!. It has been so lonely without you in mi life. Nothing has been right. I've lost everyone. Carolyn is gone now too. Im sure she is with you. You may or may not know I have a son now. His name is Zechariah. He will be 3 in a couple months. He is Amazing!! So smart and super Awesome. He can count to 40 by himself. Knows all his colors and shapes.. He reminds mi alot of Craig. I think you would be proud of mi for raising him as he should be with No one to help. It gets frustrating at times because I doubt miself sometimes and wonder if I doing a good job or doing things right. I try to make sure he is loved amd disciplined within a balance. You would love him so much!!! Sometimes I cry miself to sleep because I feel slighted becuse you always wanted a grandbaby and now he is here and you are not!. I wish so badly I could call you just one more time and tell you how much I love and miss you!. Maybe talk about things he has shown mi. You know I was never patient!. He has given mi that for sure. I now know how you eere able to keep it together when everything was falling apart. I have gained your strength in that matter. Most days that is. Missing you comes in waves. Somedays I feel like Im consumed and drowning. Other days Im ok. But thats as far as it goes. I never am better than ok. The depression is real. Some days I dont even wanna get out of bed, but then I look at Z and I know you would want mi to keep on pushing forward so I can make sure he has everything he needs. God I miss you so much. I miss our talks and laughing about dumb shit from back in the day. I have so many great memories of you. I just wish they were moreto be made. Well I won't keep ya too long as I have to feed Zechariah and spend some time with him. I love you until mi last breath. I can only hope to see you again when it is mi time to come home. Until then I will continue to be the great daughter and mom you always knew I would be. Talk to you again soon. I love you momma. Happy heavenly birthday❤