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He Ain't Heavy He's My Brother

June 9, 2019
"He Aint Heavy, He's My Brother" by The Hollies

My Brother, Leonard Edward Eugene Espinosa you are free and home!!   You touched so many peoples lives in a positive way.  Everyone you met became a friend.  You were such a people person.  I am so proud to say that for years I was known as Leonard's sister!  My little brother, you were also my friend.  I loved you unconditionally and we all thank God for you.  You were a Blessing and a Gift!

You were a jokester and your Southwest Airlines family of 26 years have so many "Leonard" stories to tell.  You loved them and they loved you!!

You were a loving brother, son, nino, uncle and great father to Danielle, Joshua and Jocelyn.  They have always been your world.  You were a kind gentle loving Godly man who would pray and show God's love to those you saw that needed a friendly moment.  

Your wish for when you retired was to go fly fishing and finally buy a boat.  Now you can in Heaven with no more pain, tears or fears.  Jesus released you home, where all you are waiting for is for all of us that love and miss you to join you.  This is not goodbye, but till we meet again on God's time in Heaven.

You were the Best brother in the world!!  You loved the Bible verse Isaiah 41:10 and 13

"So do not fear for I am with you.  Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will uphold you with my righteous hand."

"For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear, I will help you."

Whenever I hear Janet Jackson's song, "Together Again, it reminds me of you.

Everywhere I go

Every smile I see

I know you are there

Smiling back at me.

Dancing in the moonlight

I know you are free

Cuz I see your star

Shining down on me!

I know we will be together again, all of us; you, me, mom and dad and our own beautiful families and their families.  As I write this, I have had to have a few hard crying meltdowns and talk to God and ask, "Why?"  Trying to find a closure to my thoughts is so hard, it is like I am saying "Goodbye Forever."  I still don't sleep through the night and all day my mind wanders to the day before and the day of, that you left us.  At night I pray and try hard to push it all away.  I am sure you and Jesus have sent me many messages and signs that you are at peace, but my head and my heart are at odds with one another, so much that I think that I have missed those signs.  

I am here my dear brother.  You ain't heavy you are my brother!!

Written By Darlene Baca

I Remember You

June 24, 2019
I Remember You by Tricia Yearwood

Leonard, why did you go My Friend?  I didn't get to say "Goodbye."  This isn’t the Leonard that I knew.  What about Danielle, Joshua, Jocelyn and Darlene and her family?  Sometimes I get so damn mad at you thinking of what this has done to your children and family; and to your friends and to those at Southwest. Why Leonard would you do this to them and to yourself?!

I know that that this is between you and God. You are the only two who know “Why.”  Those you left behind will always wonder and can only speculate but will never know what it was that made you make that decision.

You must have been in so much pain, to do what you did, knowing that it would affect so many that you left behind.

In my mind, you will always have that smile on your face and that joke ready to tell. I remember how much you talked about Danielle and your family. I remember how much you loved having more children, Joshua and Jocelyn. Anyone who knew you, knows your children were your world and you would do anything and everything for them!!  You were so very proud of them and it truly showed.

I remember our special friendship and working alongside of you at Southwest. Always laughing until my stomach hurt.  I remember the friendships you shared with other agents.  Especially with Jim.  You two were two peas in a pod. I remember your friendship with Tony and how he would tease us about WOP (Our own private joke)  I remember us rushing to get green chili enchiladas on our 30-minute break, always cutting it so close. Yet, you always remembered to call our order in ahead of time, so we could eat there and take a few minutes to catch up. I remember the accident we witnessed on one of those lunches and how we helped the injured girl until help arrived.

  • I remember Eddie Money
  • I remember Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches
  • I remember Coronas, Margaritas and the Stars
  • I remember Sneaking Food into the Movies
  • I remember Our First Game of Pool
  • I remember Good Friday both the Good and the Bad
  • I remember Fireworks at the Park with Your Family
  • I remember Runs between Your House and Darlene’s
  • I remember Irish Night Downtown and the Roasted Corn
  • I remember San Diego Weekend
  • I remember Our Version of the Titanic
  • I remember Sand Bottle with Seashells
  • I remember How Important your Faith was to You
  • I remember Danielle and My Girls putting on a Show for Us in the Back Yard
  • I remember Family Picnic up in Jemez
  • I remember Your Jokes (Funny or Not)
  • I remember Painting the House to Your High Expectations
  • I remember the Wardrobe Change
  • I remember the SWA Christmas Party and What You Shared With Me
  • I remember Napkins on The Windshield
  • I remember Your Desire to Graduate College and You Did It!!!
  • I remember So Many Other Things but Most Importantly.....................................  I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR SMILE!!!

Leonard I will never forget you. You showed me what it was to have fun again. You taught me back then who my friends really were and who I needed to be careful of. This lesson has stuck with me to this day.

You and I went our separate ways years ago but remained friends.  You met my wonderful husband Dave and knew we were good together.  You assured me you were happy.  I know how much being a father meant to you. Everything you did, was to better Danielle, Joshua and Jocelyn’s lives. 

There is no one to blame for your decision, it was yours and only yours to make. You must have felt, for whatever reason, that it was the only way. I am sorry you felt so lonely and that you had no other choice.  I wish you would have reached out.

I know that you are missed tremendously by your family and friends!! I know you have left a lot of unanswered questions and I know people are hurt, angry and confused. The grieving process takes all forms.  I also know that you are still there and that you are still part of everyone’s life. They just need to be still, and they will be able to feel your presence and see the signs.

I miss you my friend. God's Speed and until we meet again, I will continue to pray for you, your family and your friends. LEONARD I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU!

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