ForeverMissed
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Partners In Crime

May 15, 2021
On the evening of October 13,2020, Letha contacted me through Facebook messenger. She wanted to talk about what had been discovered that day and she wanted to talk to someone that could possibly relate. She had seen my posts on Facebook regarding having recent brain surgery for a cerebral brain leak and tumor. My heart sank when she told me that she had been found to have two to three brain masses. Letha and I had met in Jr High. We shared a few classes together, but what I recall is all the joy and laughter we shared! I instantly was drawn to her sweet spirit and that precious laugh! We began to have daily talks on messenger. During our surgeries and both having middle of the night insomnia, we began chatting around 2:30-4am. Oh how I cherish each conversation we had about our surgeries, and this journey we found ourselves on. Many conversations were about our precious Lord and what he had brought us through. Letha’s love for God and others was so very evident in each and every conversation. After she was diagnosed with terminal cancer, during one of our wee hour conversations, I asked her what she was really feeling, how was she really coping? I expected a pause, but in true Letha fashion, she spoke right up. She said as a believer her situation was a win win. She was going to see Jesus a lot sooner than most of us and she was so excited by the reality of that. She then asked me what God had taught me through this journey. I told her that I was clinging to Jesus, but one night I vividly saw him at the foot of my hospital bed. He was patting my right foot and smiling. I audibly heard him state “ it’s ok to cling to me, but at times you need to let go and let me hold YOU “. We decided then that we would both let Jesus hold us and we dubbed ourselves “partners in crime” on this journey we found ourselves on. Letha was one of the most devoted followers of Christ I’ve ever had the privilege to call friend. I’m so blessed by the life she breathed into mine over the past 7 months. This time was much shorter than I prayed for, yet she filled every second she was given with life lived to the fullest. A life that shared Jesus, love for worship filled songs(Way Maker), and love for others. I miss our “wee hour” conversations, but I know I will walk the streets of gold with my precious friend someday soon. My journey will have a different outcome. Her prayers for me were answered as my tumor is benign. It is my prayer that Ben, Lydia, Leslie, her parents and grandchildren all allow Jesus to hold them just now, and that those whom don’t know Christ will have come to know him because of Letha’s life of example. I will miss you my partner in crime. Save me a place in the Alto section, I’ll be singing with you soon.
May 12, 2021
My dear sweet Letha Allen Fuller, Mother in law and most of all friend went to be with Jesus this week.
I just can’t express the loss I feel as I sit and right this post. I’ve started to write several times but just couldn’t find the right things to say (as if there is some magical "right thing") …I just wanted to call her and talk it through. We were the best of friends and I always would tell people how lucky I was to have her. So I’m just going to pretend like she is sitting next to me in the car and tell her all the things in my immediate southern accent that would appear every time I was with her.
Nanny what a journey this has been right? Remember the time when you are Marla Cyree surprised me when you flew from NC to Portland to be with me when Max was a baby and Robbie Fuller was traveling to just love on me! I remember screaming Nanny Fulls and walking into your arms as your face squished into my boobs cause you are so stinking so short. We both cried because in that moment of early exhausted motherhood you came to my rescue with your presence, humor, love and friendship. Ah how I am going to miss riding in the car with you. We have some of our best chats in the car. I will miss every car ride to the beach we would have had to talk about parenting, marriage, Jesus and music. I will miss singing harmonies with you, finding new bubble tea places with you are Aizley ( I will keep up that tradition with her for sure). I will miss every diet we never got to do together and try and figure out how to still have that bubble tea. I will miss binge watching Grey’s Anatomy and every Hallmark Christmas movie with you. I will miss you pointing out every house on our way from your place to Helen Harless Allen and Paw paws and telling me the history of it and why you loved it. I will miss sitting out on the porch with you and the rest of the L's Lydia Allen Williams, & Leslie N William Beck in the rocking chairs and laughing till we pee our pants.
Brain Cancer. I hate those words. I have heard those words too many times. When my amazing best friend Christina Ahmann Nevill was ending her journey here on earth you took me to see the movie Safe Haven. We didn’t realize but the movie had a storyline where a momma has passed away from cancer and left notes for her family to read along the way after she was gone. ( I mean it’s a Nicholas Sparks movie so we should have known. ) We were both undone in that theatre holding hands and weeping for Christina. I will never forget that night.
I will always remember the love you gave me in my grief. I will always remember the way you would help repoint my heart to the future and the day I would see her again. I now hang on that love and wisdom as I hold your two grand babies and your amazing son Robbie as we weep for you. You have made me a better mother, you have made me a better wife. You have been a mother to me. I hope someday I can teach Max and Maddie how to worship like their Nanny did.
I hate that you are gone. I love that you are home. In Christ there are no goodbyes. As Maddie said….”I’ll see ya when I get there.
Love your daughter, Linsey

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