Lillian Darling Dubinsky
  • 89 years old
  • Date of birth: Aug 26, 1923
  • Date of passing: Jun 1, 2013
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself. (Alfred Sheinwold)

This memorial website was created in memory of Lillian Dubinsky, who was born on August 26, 1923 and died on June 1, 2013 at the age of 89. We will remember her forever.

To read some of the Tributes, and for information on contributions, please see the Her Life tab.

Also, we have posted a video in the Gallery with excerpts from an interview done in the year 2000.

Memorial Tributes
This tribute was added by Ann Ross on 1st June 2015

"Watched the video of my mom missing her a lot so feel lucky to be able to hear her voice still"

This tribute was added by Ann Ross on 1st June 2015


This tribute was added by Tammy Mothes on 1st June 2015

"❤️ Thinking of Aunt Lil"

This tribute was added by carol saal on 1st June 2014

"Lillian was a woman after my own heart:  strong, direct, honest, and someone who said what she meant and meant what she said.  I *love* women like Lillian who are strong role models for women of all generationsl.  May her memory be for a blessing.
Carol Saal"

This tribute was added by Donna Dubinsky on 1st June 2014

"Me, too ... like Ann, I see things every day that remind me of mom.  She was such a huge presence in our lives."

This tribute was added by Ann Ross on 1st June 2014

"I still think of Mom every day.......and miss her so much.

This tribute was added by Linda Grais on 26th August 2013

"August 26 is a special birthday, shared by Liliian and my Dad, Mel Grais. When Dad first moved into the Vi as a new widower, we worried whether he would make new friends at age 88.That worry quickly disappeared when he met Lillian and Al his first evening. We celebrated many birthdays together, and I treasure those memories. Happy Birthday, Lillian and Dad!"

This tribute was added by Tammy Mothes on 2nd July 2013

"My deepest heartfelt sympathy goes out to Uncle Al and my cousins - Mikey, Donna and Ann and their families. I always admired Aunt Lil and loved her honesty and confidence. She was strong, beautiful, smart and loving - everything a woman should strive to be - although we spent little time together she did have a positive influence on me - she will always be in my heart. Much Love to all <3"

This tribute was added by Sharon Friedman on 26th June 2013

"Our deepest sympathies to Al, Donna, Ann and families.  We have many fond memories of Lillian's time in Benton Harbor.  However the one we remember most was Lillian's engaging smile which was always a mile wide and made each one feel special.  We have some wonderful pictures of Lillian and Al at our "Tennis Ball" where she was part of the wonderful singing Trio!  Shari/Hillard Friedman"

This tribute was added by carol schwartz on 12th June 2013

"our thoughts and prayers are with you    Frank and Edie always talked highly about your mom as well as their great love had for her
so sorry but are happy we saw her in San Francisco last summer
again extend our sympathy to the family   Carol and Ron"

This tribute was added by Debra Moser on 12th June 2013

"We were so glad to be at the reunion last year and see Lillian. We know you loved her very much. May her memory be a blessing to you all."

This tribute was added by Brendan Gluck on 11th June 2013

"I will always remember how warm and welcoming Lillian was to me at Passover dinners at Donna's. She was a true pleasure to speak with and had a way of making you feel right at home with her smile and amazing sense of humor. She will be greatly missed. My thoughts are with the entire Dubinsky family."

This tribute was added by Bruce Dubinsky on 5th June 2013

"We are saddened by the passing of Lillian and pass our thoughts and prayers to the family.

Those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us every day,
Unseen, unheard, but always near,
Still loved, still missed and very dear."

This tribute was added by Jim Hawkins on 5th June 2013

"I’ve only met Lillian on a few occasions (at Donna’s over Thanksgiving), but I always went away from our brief encounters thinking, there’s an exceptional person and somebody I would really  like to get to know a bit better. Sadly that is now a missed opportunity. My sympathies to Donna,  Al and the family."

This tribute was added by Bill Heil on 4th June 2013

"So sorry to hear about Lillian's passing.  We remember her fondly from your family get togethers.

Our thought are with the Dubinsky family.
- Bill and Barbara Heil"

This tribute was added by Andrea Butter on 4th June 2013

"Normally, when one talks with the mother of a friend, one feels a gap - there's the age difference, and parental "rank".  With Lillian, there was no gap.  From the first moment, she treated me as if she'd known me forever - I might as well have been her old friend that she had introduced to Donna! With luck, some of that youthful spirit has rubbed off on me - it certainly seems more fun!"

This tribute was added by Carla Slavin-Klein on 4th June 2013

"I remember Mrs.Dubinsky being there for my family was in need. In the Benton Harbor days! she will be missed. Carla Slavin-Klein"

This tribute was added by Gloria Leitstein on 4th June 2013

"I would like to add that I met Lillian soon after she moved to the Vi and came to the P.A.Bridge Club. We became partners for years. She hated leaving her friends in the desert but today we know how many new friends she accumulated in P.A. I will miss Lillian."

This tribute was added by Kim Sommer on 4th June 2013

"All the stories told in the last few days so fit the Lillian I knew only from special occasions...warm, tough, funny and sharp as a tack."

This tribute was added by Judy Mendel on 4th June 2013

"I am so sorry for your family's loss. I will always remember hanging out at your home on Miami Road."

This tribute was added by Marcia Martin on 4th June 2013

"My name is Marcia and I had the great privilege of caring for Lillian the last 5 mths of her life. I want to thank the Donna and Alfred Dubinsky for choosing me to be apart of Lillian's life. She inspired me everyday... She was truly an amazing woman so full of life.. I will always remember my time with her and your family.. Thank you so much and I'm so sorry for your lose."

This tribute was added by Sherri Ryan on 3rd June 2013

"Aunt Lillian and her family were always so special. She always held a special place in my heart.  We always looked forward to seeing her and Uncle Al when they were in town. We shared some great visits at Aunt Jeans and enjoyed the family reunion which was so special.  Aunt Lillian did brighten our lives and will be missed so much by all - my love and sympathy to the family xox Sherri"

This tribute was added by Jon Levine on 3rd June 2013

"I remember Lillian and Al's trips to Paris to visit Donna when she (and I) lived there in the early '90s. What I most recall is her zest, and the feeling of "home" she brought with her. My deepest sympathies to Donna, Al and the family."

This tribute was added by Susan Landau (Colen) on 3rd June 2013

"Lillian shared a birthday with my mother. It is hard enough to make new friends at any age but I think one is especially blessed to have made friends in ones eighties. When Lillian and Al and my parents moved to the Vi, they became instant friends. I will remember Lillian as a dear friend to all of our family. She was a lovely, classy, talented and witty woman. My profound condolences."

This tribute was added by David West on 3rd June 2013

"I only came to know Lillian the past couple of years as anything other than the mother of Donna (and siblings). Once past the veneer of just being someone's mom I got to meet the person Lil. I am glad I did. There was treasure there. She had infinite wisdom on seemingly all things and shared it easily.  My heart goes out to Donna and family because losing your mom hurts, at any age."

This tribute was added by Carol Rice on 3rd June 2013

"We go back over 40 years with Lillian and Al.  Our thoughts are certainly  with Al and the whole family.  Lillian was "the maven", the one who could tall you where to go for anything, anywhere. What a force she was, and what a void she will leave.  Sincere condolences."

This tribute was added by Cathy Quense on 3rd June 2013

"We treasure our moments with Lillian over the years – parades, games (not always per the rules), Dungeness crabs, lobsters. Her spirited, astute perspective on people and happenings enriched us all and made us laugh.  Thank you for sharing Lillian with us. We are with you in spirit as you mourn her passing and celebrate her good life."

This tribute was added by Debbi Darling on 3rd June 2013

"As a child growing up in Htfd, it was always a treat when the Dubinsky family came to town! With such a big family, we never got as much time as we may have liked. I will always remember my Aunt's wonderful smile, sense of humor, warmth,and stories about my Dad, the eldest Darling sibling. I am so saddened by this loss. RIP Aunt Lil....I will miss knowing you are with us. With love...."

This tribute was added by Joan Fox on 3rd June 2013

"We were so saddened to hear of Lillian's passing and wish to express our most sincere condolences to Al and the entire family. She was a wonderful spirited person who we truly admired over the many years we knew her.  With our heartfelt sympathy.

Joan and Marv Fox"

This tribute was added by Cindy, Tim, Nikki & Jared on 2nd June 2013

"The celebration of Lillian’s life in photos is fabulous – they brought tears and smiles. What a gift she had to bring life to those she was around. We feel privileged to have known her and our love and thoughts are with all of you through this tough time."

This tribute was added by Linda Grais on 2nd June 2013

"Lillian and Al moved into the Vi the same week as our Dad, and quickly felt like family we had known forever. Lillian told hilarious stories, made acute observations, and sent perfect handwritten notes.  We were lucky to know her."

This tribute was added by Mary Kay Tannebring on 2nd June 2013

"The Dubinskys are an amazing family and Lillian blazed the trail.  During the four years (and beyond) that our daughter attended high school in Massachusetts with Marina, we were welcomed as if we were one of their own and their generosity and warmth was truly remarkable.  Lillian's legacy lives on in her children and grandchildren.  From Mary Kay, John, Paula and George Tannebring"

This tribute was added by Dolores Stein on 2nd June 2013

"Lil was my older sister, she  always wanted to know how I was. She helped me in maney ways I remembered when I was younger she took me too a Sspeciality store Florence Travis, first one in Ct. She the owner welcomed her,they knew each other,I was so Happy that as I remember going in her closet to play dress up. of course she was at work. I will miss her laugh & her frindship, of course her"

This tribute was added by Guy Berruyer on 2nd June 2013

"Lilian had the ability to make you alwyas feel welcome. It felt like because I was one of Donna's friend, I was part of the "extended family", a nice feeling that I will remember."

This tribute was added by Jenny Ross on 2nd June 2013

"Bubbie was a very loving grandmother and a quick witted woman. She was  accomplished and I will miss her. She will be missed by many and will not be not forgotten."

This tribute was added by Jerry & Joyce Stroffolino on 2nd June 2013

"There are no words to describe Lillian. A best friend and truly one of a kind. Now the truth can be told...."My Way" was really written for Lil....not
for Frank Sinatra.
Our love to the family."

This tribute was added by Ann Ross on 2nd June 2013

"My mom was smart, funny, blunt, sarcastic,  and a people magnet!  She was a great friend to all, a wonderful wife, and an inspiration to all!"

This tribute was added by Jim Nisbet on 2nd June 2013

"I am honored to have known Lillian.   She retained a wonderfully sharp wit and sense of purpose.  She always asked how our family was doing and offered her own thoughts over the years as to what is important and what is not.   I never walked away from a conversation with Lillian wondering what she really thought!   She was a truly caring and generous person and we will miss her."

This tribute was added by carol saal on 2nd June 2013

"Lillian was one of a kind.  Her sharp mind, acerbic wit and her friendly, smiling face was a rare combination.  Her effusive greetings made you feel like she had been waiting for you to come back into her life.  She was not one to gloss things over and I truly appreciated her honesty and openness.  She was one of those older people that you loved to talk to because she shared her wisdom."

This tribute was added by Jeff Hawkins on 2nd June 2013

"Whenever I arrived at a Dubinsky family gathering I found myself going straight to Lillian.  She had a way of engaging that was to the point and funny (sometimes with a touch of cynicism).  She would often thrust a question at me that was on the edge of political correctness yet taught me something about myself.  I found this endearing and always wanted more."

This tribute was added by Anne Baker on 2nd June 2013

"I am a friend of Ann's. No one could have a better friend than Ann, which I am sure is a tribute to Lillian. Our deepest condolences to Lillian's family. Anne and Gary Baker"

This tribute was added by Lori Clark on 2nd June 2013

"Aunt Lillian brightened our lives with her kindness and spirit.  She will be remembered always.  Lori Clark"

This tribute was added by Jessica Prince on 2nd June 2013

"May her memory be a blessing to everyone who was touched by her. Lil welcomed me warmly whenever I saw her and I loved that we shared Hartford roots. She was feisty and quick-witted and always up for a good conversation. Over the years we share many, and even a few secrets. And I have her to thank for some great advice over the years. She will be greatly missed. xoxo"

This tribute was added by Karen Butterfield on 2nd June 2013

"Lillian always had the best smile!  We'll all miss the warm person who made that smile happen.  I loved seeing pictures of Lillian, Al when they had dark hair and young faces, seeing the children, and Grandma Lillian with Marina.
Al-big hug to you and family.  Karen and Jim"

This tribute was added by Julie Kaufman on 1st June 2013

"Lillian played many roles in the life of my family over the past 15 or so years, and in every one of them, her spirit infused us with warmth, humor, and love.  I loved her cynical humor especially, and always looked forward to a good chat with her.  Even when she was sick in the hospital during the last week, hardly talking, she kept her sense of humor.  I will miss her very strongly."

This tribute was added by LIanabel Oliver on 1st June 2013

"The photographs of her life are a beautiful tribute.   We will miss her engaging conversations, her sense of humor, and her quick wit.  I still remember her arriving at Yale with Donna and of course, Uncle Muzzy's chair.  It seems Lil has always been presence in our lives.  My deepest condolences to the whole family.  She will be missed, but never forgotten.  -LB"

This tribute was added by Merin Powers on 1st June 2013

"How honored I am to have had Lillian in my life.  I will remember her sweet smile, hilarious sense of humor, and her gentle soul.  She loved her family dearly and was such a proud mother and grandmother.  My thoughts are with Al and the entire Dubinsky family."

This tribute was added by Mikey Dubinsky on 1st June 2013

"A true Jewish mother  Who always got what she wanted"

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This memorial is administered by:

Donna Dubinsky


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