ForeverMissed
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Bubie22

This memorial website was created in memory of Lillian Dubinsky, who was born on August 26, 1923 and died on June 1, 2013 at the age of 89. We will remember her forever.

To read some of the Tributes, and for information on contributions, please see the Her Life tab.

Also, we have posted a video in the Gallery with excerpts from an interview done in the year 2000.

Tributes

Leave a tribute
Marina Dubinsky
June 2, 2022
June 2, 2022
Loving You - June 1, 2022

Loving you wasn't easy, but loving you became one of my best talents.
When problems arose, I had the basic tools of how to fix them.
If I didn't know how to fix the problem, I at least somehow figured out why the first step would be.

Loving you wasn't easy for anyone.
Constantly changing your mind, the never ending sarcasm, and telling people what you really thought, even when they looked at you sideways.
Not every human being could handle what came out of your mouth.

Loving you had its rewards.
Loving you made me one of your favorite people to be with by
being the one who visited and saw you the most, bringing you
what you brought me when I wasn't feeling well, and that made me
feel that much more respected by you.
Loving you was a hell of a lot of work.

Inspired by: "Ain't Easy" - Elijah Woods and Jamie Fine.
Marina Dubinsky
June 1, 2021
June 1, 2021
The Next you - In Honor of Lillian Dubinsky
Written on February 21, 2020

For the longest time, I didn't want anyone to take your place.
I didn't think anyone should be the next you.
They shouldn't have that honor unless they absolutely know who's large egotistical shoes they're getting into.

I would like nothing more than to know if you would want someone else to take the same name that we all identified you by.
Maybe you would be humored by seeing if someone can even take on the challenge of being the next you.
You might even get a laugh if it was too much for them to take it on.
So......what would you say or think if that challenge was taken on?
Would you still want someone to be the next you?

Inspired by: Bubbie
Marina Dubinsky
June 1, 2021
June 1, 2021
A Lady Like You - In honor of Lillian Dubinsky
Written on February 7, 2017

She offered to share a table at Starbucks. She said, "I'm running and errand and decided to treat myself." She puts her bag down and points to the other chair next to her.

Her size is about the same as you, and she has the same tone on voice as you.
When she puts her magazine down, she flips to the crossword puzzle.
She whipped out her glasses and they are the same as yours.

I don't know what I got myself into but she's a lady like you.

She also appears to do the crossword puzzle in pen. Not device in sight to Google the answers or a partner to turn to for help.

It looks like her standards are like yours, because she's a lady like you!

Inspired by: Bubbie

Ann Ross
June 1, 2015
June 1, 2015
Watched the video of my mom missing her a lot so feel lucky to be able to hear her voice still
carol saal
June 1, 2014
June 1, 2014
Lillian was a woman after my own heart: strong, direct, honest, and someone who said what she meant and meant what she said. I *love* women like Lillian who are strong role models for women of all generationsl. May her memory be for a blessing.
Carol Saal
Donna Dubinsky
June 1, 2014
June 1, 2014
Me, too ... like Ann, I see things every day that remind me of mom. She was such a huge presence in our lives.
Ann Ross
June 1, 2014
June 1, 2014
I still think of Mom every day.......and miss her so much.
Ann
Linda Grais
August 26, 2013
August 26, 2013
August 26 is a special birthday, shared by Liliian and my Dad, Mel Grais. When Dad first moved into the Vi as a new widower, we worried whether he would make new friends at age 88.That worry quickly disappeared when he met Lillian and Al his first evening. We celebrated many birthdays together, and I treasure those memories. Happy Birthday, Lillian and Dad!
Tammy Mothes
July 2, 2013
July 2, 2013
My deepest heartfelt sympathy goes out to Uncle Al and my cousins - Mikey, Donna and Ann and their families. I always admired Aunt Lil and loved her honesty and confidence. She was strong, beautiful, smart and loving - everything a woman should strive to be - although we spent little time together she did have a positive influence on me - she will always be in my heart. Much Love to all <3
Sharon Friedman
June 26, 2013
June 26, 2013
Our deepest sympathies to Al, Donna, Ann and families. We have many fond memories of Lillian's time in Benton Harbor. However the one we remember most was Lillian's engaging smile which was always a mile wide and made each one feel special. We have some wonderful pictures of Lillian and Al at our "Tennis Ball" where she was part of the wonderful singing Trio! Shari/Hillard Friedman
carol schwartz
June 12, 2013
June 12, 2013
our thoughts and prayers are with you  Frank and Edie always talked highly about your mom as well as their great love had for her
so sorry but are happy we saw her in San Francisco last summer
again extend our sympathy to the family  Carol and Ron
Debra Moser
June 12, 2013
June 12, 2013
We were so glad to be at the reunion last year and see Lillian. We know you loved her very much. May her memory be a blessing to you all.
Brendan Gluck
June 11, 2013
June 11, 2013
I will always remember how warm and welcoming Lillian was to me at Passover dinners at Donna's. She was a true pleasure to speak with and had a way of making you feel right at home with her smile and amazing sense of humor. She will be greatly missed. My thoughts are with the entire Dubinsky family.
Bruce Dubinsky
June 5, 2013
June 5, 2013
We are saddened by the passing of Lillian and pass our thoughts and prayers to the family.

Those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us every day,
Unseen, unheard, but always near,
Still loved, still missed and very dear.
Jim Hawkins
June 5, 2013
June 5, 2013
I’ve only met Lillian on a few occasions (at Donna’s over Thanksgiving), but I always went away from our brief encounters thinking, there’s an exceptional person and somebody I would really like to get to know a bit better. Sadly that is now a missed opportunity. My sympathies to Donna, Al and the family.
Bill Heil
June 4, 2013
June 4, 2013
So sorry to hear about Lillian's passing. We remember her fondly from your family get togethers.

Our thought are with the Dubinsky family.
- Bill and Barbara Heil
Andrea Butter
June 4, 2013
June 4, 2013
Normally, when one talks with the mother of a friend, one feels a gap - there's the age difference, and parental "rank". With Lillian, there was no gap. From the first moment, she treated me as if she'd known me forever - I might as well have been her old friend that she had introduced to Donna! With luck, some of that youthful spirit has rubbed off on me - it certainly seems more fun!
Carla Slavin-Klein
June 4, 2013
June 4, 2013
I remember Mrs.Dubinsky being there for my family was in need. In the Benton Harbor days! she will be missed. Carla Slavin-Klein
Gloria Leitstein
June 4, 2013
June 4, 2013
I would like to add that I met Lillian soon after she moved to the Vi and came to the P.A.Bridge Club. We became partners for years. She hated leaving her friends in the desert but today we know how many new friends she accumulated in P.A. I will miss Lillian.
Kim Sommer
June 4, 2013
June 4, 2013
All the stories told in the last few days so fit the Lillian I knew only from special occasions...warm, tough, funny and sharp as a tack.
Judy Mendel
June 4, 2013
June 4, 2013
I am so sorry for your family's loss. I will always remember hanging out at your home on Miami Road.
Marcia Martin
June 4, 2013
June 4, 2013
My name is Marcia and I had the great privilege of caring for Lillian the last 5 mths of her life. I want to thank the Donna and Alfred Dubinsky for choosing me to be apart of Lillian's life. She inspired me everyday... She was truly an amazing woman so full of life.. I will always remember my time with her and your family.. Thank you so much and I'm so sorry for your lose.
Jon Levine
June 3, 2013
June 3, 2013
I remember Lillian and Al's trips to Paris to visit Donna when she (and I) lived there in the early '90s. What I most recall is her zest, and the feeling of "home" she brought with her. My deepest sympathies to Donna, Al and the family.
Sherri Ryan
June 3, 2013
June 3, 2013
Aunt Lillian and her family were always so special. She always held a special place in my heart. We always looked forward to seeing her and Uncle Al when they were in town. We shared some great visits at Aunt Jeans and enjoyed the family reunion which was so special. Aunt Lillian did brighten our lives and will be missed so much by all - my love and sympathy to the family xox Sherri
Susan Landau (Colen)
June 3, 2013
June 3, 2013
Lillian shared a birthday with my mother. It is hard enough to make new friends at any age but I think one is especially blessed to have made friends in ones eighties. When Lillian and Al and my parents moved to the Vi, they became instant friends. I will remember Lillian as a dear friend to all of our family. She was a lovely, classy, talented and witty woman. My profound condolences.
David West
June 3, 2013
June 3, 2013
I only came to know Lillian the past couple of years as anything other than the mother of Donna (and siblings). Once past the veneer of just being someone's mom I got to meet the person Lil. I am glad I did. There was treasure there. She had infinite wisdom on seemingly all things and shared it easily. My heart goes out to Donna and family because losing your mom hurts, at any age.
Carol Rice
June 3, 2013
June 3, 2013
We go back over 40 years with Lillian and Al. Our thoughts are certainly with Al and the whole family. Lillian was "the maven", the one who could tall you where to go for anything, anywhere. What a force she was, and what a void she will leave. Sincere condolences.
Cathy Quense
June 3, 2013
June 3, 2013
We treasure our moments with Lillian over the years – parades, games (not always per the rules), Dungeness crabs, lobsters. Her spirited, astute perspective on people and happenings enriched us all and made us laugh. Thank you for sharing Lillian with us. We are with you in spirit as you mourn her passing and celebrate her good life.
Debbi Darling
June 3, 2013
June 3, 2013
As a child growing up in Htfd, it was always a treat when the Dubinsky family came to town! With such a big family, we never got as much time as we may have liked. I will always remember my Aunt's wonderful smile, sense of humor, warmth,and stories about my Dad, the eldest Darling sibling. I am so saddened by this loss. RIP Aunt Lil....I will miss knowing you are with us. With love....
Joan Fox
June 3, 2013
June 3, 2013
We were so saddened to hear of Lillian's passing and wish to express our most sincere condolences to Al and the entire family. She was a wonderful spirited person who we truly admired over the many years we knew her. With our heartfelt sympathy.

Joan and Marv Fox
Jenny Ross
June 2, 2013
June 2, 2013
Bubbie was a very loving grandmother and a quick witted woman. She was accomplished and I will miss her. She will be missed by many and will not be not forgotten.
Karen Butterfield
June 2, 2013
June 2, 2013
Lillian always had the best smile! We'll all miss the warm person who made that smile happen. I loved seeing pictures of Lillian, Al when they had dark hair and young faces, seeing the children, and Grandma Lillian with Marina.
Al-big hug to you and family. Karen and Jim
Jessica Prince
June 2, 2013
June 2, 2013
May her memory be a blessing to everyone who was touched by her. Lil welcomed me warmly whenever I saw her and I loved that we shared Hartford roots. She was feisty and quick-witted and always up for a good conversation. Over the years we share many, and even a few secrets. And I have her to thank for some great advice over the years. She will be greatly missed. xoxo
Lori Clark
June 2, 2013
June 2, 2013
Aunt Lillian brightened our lives with her kindness and spirit. She will be remembered always. Lori Clark
Anne Baker
June 2, 2013
June 2, 2013
I am a friend of Ann's. No one could have a better friend than Ann, which I am sure is a tribute to Lillian. Our deepest condolences to Lillian's family. Anne and Gary Baker
Jeff Hawkins
June 2, 2013
June 2, 2013
Whenever I arrived at a Dubinsky family gathering I found myself going straight to Lillian. She had a way of engaging that was to the point and funny (sometimes with a touch of cynicism). She would often thrust a question at me that was on the edge of political correctness yet taught me something about myself. I found this endearing and always wanted more.
carol saal
June 2, 2013
June 2, 2013
Lillian was one of a kind. Her sharp mind, acerbic wit and her friendly, smiling face was a rare combination. Her effusive greetings made you feel like she had been waiting for you to come back into her life. She was not one to gloss things over and I truly appreciated her honesty and openness. She was one of those older people that you loved to talk to because she shared her wisdom.
Jim Nisbet
June 2, 2013
June 2, 2013
I am honored to have known Lillian.  She retained a wonderfully sharp wit and sense of purpose. She always asked how our family was doing and offered her own thoughts over the years as to what is important and what is not.  I never walked away from a conversation with Lillian wondering what she really thought!  She was a truly caring and generous person and we will miss her.
Ann Ross
June 2, 2013
June 2, 2013
My mom was smart, funny, blunt, sarcastic, and a people magnet! She was a great friend to all, a wonderful wife, and an inspiration to all!
Jerry & Joyce Stroffolino
June 2, 2013
June 2, 2013
There are no words to describe Lillian. A best friend and truly one of a kind. Now the truth can be told...."My Way" was really written for Lil....not
for Frank Sinatra.
Our love to the family.
Guy Berruyer
June 2, 2013
June 2, 2013
Lilian had the ability to make you alwyas feel welcome. It felt like because I was one of Donna's friend, I was part of the "extended family", a nice feeling that I will remember.
Dolores Stein
June 2, 2013
June 2, 2013
Lil was my older sister, she always wanted to know how I was. She helped me in maney ways I remembered when I was younger she took me too a Sspeciality store Florence Travis, first one in Ct. She the owner welcomed her,they knew each other,I was so Happy that as I remember going in her closet to play dress up. of course she was at work. I will miss her laugh & her frindship, of course her
Mary Kay Tannebring
June 2, 2013
June 2, 2013
The Dubinskys are an amazing family and Lillian blazed the trail. During the four years (and beyond) that our daughter attended high school in Massachusetts with Marina, we were welcomed as if we were one of their own and their generosity and warmth was truly remarkable. Lillian's legacy lives on in her children and grandchildren. From Mary Kay, John, Paula and George Tannebring
Linda Grais
June 2, 2013
June 2, 2013
Lillian and Al moved into the Vi the same week as our Dad, and quickly felt like family we had known forever. Lillian told hilarious stories, made acute observations, and sent perfect handwritten notes. We were lucky to know her.
Cindy, Tim, Nikki & Jared
June 2, 2013
June 2, 2013
The celebration of Lillian’s life in photos is fabulous – they brought tears and smiles. What a gift she had to bring life to those she was around. We feel privileged to have known her and our love and thoughts are with all of you through this tough time.
Julie Kaufman
June 1, 2013
June 1, 2013
Lillian played many roles in the life of my family over the past 15 or so years, and in every one of them, her spirit infused us with warmth, humor, and love. I loved her cynical humor especially, and always looked forward to a good chat with her. Even when she was sick in the hospital during the last week, hardly talking, she kept her sense of humor. I will miss her very strongly.
LIanabel Oliver
June 1, 2013
June 1, 2013
The photographs of her life are a beautiful tribute.  We will miss her engaging conversations, her sense of humor, and her quick wit. I still remember her arriving at Yale with Donna and of course, Uncle Muzzy's chair. It seems Lil has always been presence in our lives. My deepest condolences to the whole family. She will be missed, but never forgotten. -LB
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Recent Tributes
Marina Dubinsky
June 2, 2022
June 2, 2022
Loving You - June 1, 2022

Loving you wasn't easy, but loving you became one of my best talents.
When problems arose, I had the basic tools of how to fix them.
If I didn't know how to fix the problem, I at least somehow figured out why the first step would be.

Loving you wasn't easy for anyone.
Constantly changing your mind, the never ending sarcasm, and telling people what you really thought, even when they looked at you sideways.
Not every human being could handle what came out of your mouth.

Loving you had its rewards.
Loving you made me one of your favorite people to be with by
being the one who visited and saw you the most, bringing you
what you brought me when I wasn't feeling well, and that made me
feel that much more respected by you.
Loving you was a hell of a lot of work.

Inspired by: "Ain't Easy" - Elijah Woods and Jamie Fine.
Marina Dubinsky
June 1, 2021
June 1, 2021
The Next you - In Honor of Lillian Dubinsky
Written on February 21, 2020

For the longest time, I didn't want anyone to take your place.
I didn't think anyone should be the next you.
They shouldn't have that honor unless they absolutely know who's large egotistical shoes they're getting into.

I would like nothing more than to know if you would want someone else to take the same name that we all identified you by.
Maybe you would be humored by seeing if someone can even take on the challenge of being the next you.
You might even get a laugh if it was too much for them to take it on.
So......what would you say or think if that challenge was taken on?
Would you still want someone to be the next you?

Inspired by: Bubbie
Marina Dubinsky
June 1, 2021
June 1, 2021
A Lady Like You - In honor of Lillian Dubinsky
Written on February 7, 2017

She offered to share a table at Starbucks. She said, "I'm running and errand and decided to treat myself." She puts her bag down and points to the other chair next to her.

Her size is about the same as you, and she has the same tone on voice as you.
When she puts her magazine down, she flips to the crossword puzzle.
She whipped out her glasses and they are the same as yours.

I don't know what I got myself into but she's a lady like you.

She also appears to do the crossword puzzle in pen. Not device in sight to Google the answers or a partner to turn to for help.

It looks like her standards are like yours, because she's a lady like you!

Inspired by: Bubbie

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Recent stories

Lillian as a sister

June 4, 2013
by Donna Dubinsky

When I was young I always would go and take Lillian’s clothes when she left for work.  One night I had a date, so I went to Lil’s room and took a new dress that had not yet been worn.  I went to the party and someone took a picture of me in it.  She saw the photo and was so upset to think I used the dress before she did.

Also she had a black dress that I loved.  Every chance I had, I took the dress to wear. So one day she took me to a store and bought me a black dress of my own.

Any time I had to have a nice dress for an occasion she would sent me one by UPS and I would send it back after the event.  One time I had a wedding in August and I called Lil and she did not have anything for me so she bought me a dress.

She always helped out when one in the family had money problems.   I was very lucky to have a wonderful sister.

by Jean Selinger, one of Lillian's younger sisters 

Bridge, blueberries, and more

June 3, 2013
by Carol Rice

Lillian put herself in charge of keeping us well socialized in Michigan, when we bought a place there for summers.  She involved me in her bridge groups, provided recipes for pickles, jams, and borscht.  We even learned about squash blossoms at Tosi's. We loved her friendship.  She was a terrific force, and the energy she generated amazed us.  We are so glad we had the chance to see her in Chicago with her family or their recent trip.  

We love and miss her. 

May 31, 2013
by Len Shustek

When Lillian was in the hospital, she got tired of visitors asking how she was doing. So she declared the following rule:

When you come to visit me, you can't ask how I'm feeling. Instead, just say "Lillian, you look marvelous". 

We did what she said, of course... 

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