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Brother Dale

August 3, 2019
My brother Dale was mom’s second born of four children. He passed away of throat cancer this past June (2019), so I wanted to pay homage to the close relationship he had with our mom (Linda Lee Smith).

Dale was a unique individual to say the least. Mom was always very protective of him, I believe she needed to be due to Dale’s insentient desire to stand out in a crowd; be the center of attention, as sometimes that attention brought a great deal of criticism from others.

Mom always encouraged Dale to be himself at any cost. Though others didn’t understand Dale’s unique spirit, mom did and she never tried to squelch who he was by nature. Mom and Dale shared a very special bond. Though Dale could be quite the handful, it was the challenges that he brought to mom’s everyday life that were the greatest lessons of unconditional love.

Dale has been reunited with our dad and mom and our two brothers, Paul and Jimmy. He is in loving arms in heaven and loving hearts on earth. Rest in peace brother! 

Mom's "Little Paul"

January 10, 2017

My oldest brother Paul passed away on the 5th of January this year (2017). He was mom’s pride and joy, no matter how old he got, she always lovingly referred to him as her “Little Paul.”

 

Paul was a very devoted son to both mom and dad, but he had an especially close relationship with mom. It was difficult for mom because Paul lived across the United States from her, but they spent a lot of time writing letters to each other and talking on the phone. When Paul would come to visit, he and mom would spend hours on end talking and drinking coffee together. They had a very special bond.

 

As sad as I am to lose my oldest brother, I’m happy to think about mom and her “Little Paul” being reunited in a much better place. Rest in peace brother!

Minimum Wage Mitzvah

January 1, 2017

My mom worked a fulltime job as bookkeeper and desk clerk at a local motel until she was forced to retire at age eighty-five due to a back injury. I remember when the minimum wage increased in 2007; my mom was already in her eighties. She knew that it was a hardship on her employers having to pay more money out per hour for all the employees, so my mom began working one day a week for free to offset the increase. When minimum wage increased again the next year (2008) mom began working two days a week for free. It didn’t have a thing to do with job security, it was a mitzvah (good deed) on mom’s part; mom loved her job and she loved the people she worked for and wanted to help them. Her employers didn’t expect her to work for free, but she didn’t want them to have to pay her more than what they could afford. That’s the kind of person she was.

One Year and a Lifetime of Memories

January 30, 2014

Mom passed away one year ago today; January 30, 2013, at1:22 pm. Her battle with cancer was over and she could be at peace, but I have to confess, though I was happy that she didn’t have to linger on in her suffering, it was nonetheless the worst day of my life.

I think I spent the first six months, after she died, regretting every cross word I ever said to her, but then I started to recall cute memories of things she had done throughout the years.

Here are a few that come to mind:

A Naughty Night

Not long after my dad passed away, mom was spending the night with us at our apartment. It was evening and raining cats and dogs outside. Mom got it in her head that she really wanted to see the old movie “Naughty Marietta” starring Jeanette McDonald. I called the video rental store and they had a copy of the movie, so we drove across town, in the pouring rain, to go pick it up. Unfortunately, we drove to the wrong store. They were nice enough to call and find out which of their stores had the copy of the movie..

We finally got home and I was fit to be tied having to drive out in the nasty weather for some old movie. I put the video in the VCR, mom situated herself in front of the TV and she was good to go. I went to the kitchen to make some coffee and when I came out mom was sound asleep. I couldn't belive it, but I couldn’t get mad at her; she had just lost dad, and that was probably the best sleep she’d had for a while.

A Bunny Tale

Four months after dad passed away we moved to the house that we’ve lived in for almost twenty-six years now. Mom sold her home and moved in with us at the same time that we moved in.

We had lived here approximately a year when my mom decided that she wanted a pet rabbit. I told her NO! I explained that I did not know how to take care of a rabbit. End of conversation; until two days later when she came home with a little surprise.

She arrived home late from work and went up to her room and closed the door. All of sudden, I heard a lot of commotion, and then my mom started calling for me. I went upstairs and knocked on her door, and she said, with a voice of panic from the other side of the door; “Now don’t get mad! I bought a rabbit, are you mad?” She opened the door and I could see that the rabbit was running around the room (He was scared) and mom couldn’t catch him. It was a sight!

As I gave the bunny a little time to calm down, I asked mom what she planned to do with the rabbit. Her plan was to keep it in a laundry basket; that was her whole plan. Well, as it tuned out, the bunny ended up being one of the sweetest pets we’ve ever had. We named him “Precious” and bought him a mate, and they had a few litters. It was a fun experience, but one that I don’t recommend for every household.

Mom made life interesting; you never knew what to expect. She was kind of like living in an “I Love Lucy” episode, except it was real life. The things mom did that annoyed the heck out of me when she was alive have become the memories that I will hold dear for all my life, now that she is gone.

On this first anniversary of mom’s passing we’re going to eat some of her favorite foods; all beef hot dogs and fries from DW, and lemon meringue pie. We’ll play gin, and in place of going to her niche at the mausoleum, we’re going to plant a flower (At 1:22 pm) in mom’s own flower bed in our front yard. I want January 30th to be a day to remember the life that mom lived, not her death. Mom would much rather be celebrated than to be mourned.  

Last Thanksgiving

November 27, 2013
Memories

I wanted last Thanksgiving (2012) to be as special a day as it could be. I prepared a special meal, and decorated the dining room for the Autumn Holiday; I wanted everything to be perfect, because I knew that it would be Mom’s last Thanksgiving with us.

We were going to eat an early dinner so that we could allow time to play Gin afterwards. I had dinner pretty much ready when Mom called me to her room where she had been watching her TV shows. She told me that she needed to go to the hospital; I knew what was wrong, as she had been through the same thing a few times before. I told my husband and son just to stay home and have their dinner; there was no need for them to go and sit for hours in the waiting room.

When we got to Emergency, Mom felt a sense of relief when she saw that it was the same Emergency Room Doctor as the last time she was there, and he remembered Mom as well. He told her that there was only one option, medically, that he could do to help her, and that was to perform the surgical procedure that he had already talked to her about the last time she was in Emergency. She agreed, and within fifteen minutes they were prepping her for surgery.

Needless to say, she had to spend the night in the hospital. She wasn’t very sleepy after her surgery so we spent a lot of the night hours talking. We talked about a lot of things; some were hard to face, but mostly our conversation was about happy memories. It was an evening of quality time between a mother and her daughter.

The perfect Thanksgiving that I had hoped for, didn’t go at all as I had planned. Now that I’ve had some time to think about that day, it was a much better Thanksgiving than I had intended. It wasn’t about the meal, or the decorations, and certainly not about getting an early jump on Holiday shopping; it was about the important things in life; helping someone who is hurting and caring for someone you love; because from the moment we arrived at the hospital Mom was treated like a Queen; the hospital staff were so caring and wonderful to her, and they tried to keep her spirits uplifted; the surgical procedure she underwent did stop any further occurrences of the problem that brought her there, and she and I had a chance to spend quality time together, I had no idea on that day, what a gift “Time” would truly become.

So, as I look back, it was a very special last Thanksgiving together, and one that I will always cherish the memories of.  

 

Music: Memories 

 

Thelma and Linda

July 4, 2013

My husband’s mother, Thelma Chow, passed away in 1999. When we were planning her funeral my mom offered to play the piano for her service. My husband was very appreciative, and told my mom what a few of his mother’s favorite hymns were, if she would please play them as well. Mom sat down and worked up a list of hymns that she thought Thelma would have liked. Mom practiced every moment she could until the day of Thelma’s service. That morning I could tell that she was very nervous. I had never seen my mom nervous about playing the piano for anything. She had played piano bar for years and was never nervous, but that morning she was.

We arrived early at the Church so that mom could get situated and practice on the piano before service began. She looked so tiny sitting at that grand piano, but when my tiny little mother began to play, the whole atmosphere in the room changed. Mom played one hymn after another the whole time as Thelma’s friends and family arrived and was being seated. You could tell as people entered the sanctuary that they were pleasantly surprised to have the piano being played. They had no idea how important it was to the pianist playing that the music had to be just right.

It was a beautiful service and mom helped make it very special for her son-in-law, and there lay the difference; it was important to mom for Thelma’s service to be special for my husband. Playing piano bar was something that was fun for mom, so she wasn’t ever nervous, but Thelma’s funeral was the last chance she would have to do something for her friend, but even more importantly, to do something for the son of her friend whom she was so very fond of; my husband Galen.

Photo of Thelma and Mom taken in 1987  

The Apricot Tree

March 2, 2013

In 2008, I planted an apricot tree. It began to fruit the very next year, in 2009. Mom was very excited when I showed her the tiny little apricots that were beginning to grow. Everyday, that first season, she would go out to see how big the apricots were getting, and count how many there were on the tree. She could hardly wait to have one of our very own, home grown, tree ripened apricots. Mom knew that she was going to have to wait until the fifth year’s season of fruit, because that’s what the Bible teaches; Leviticus 19:23-25.

Mom waited patiently through four seasons of apricots. Each year the fruit was bigger and more abundant than the year before. She knew last year, (Spring 2012) was her final season of having to wait, that this year, (Spring 2013) would be the year she’d waited for.

The apricot tree is in bloom as I write this, and in just a few months from now it will bear its fifth year fruit. If mom could have lived a few months longer, she could have enjoyed having the fruit she’d waited so long to be able to eat.  

When I think of how many people in the medical field told us that it was miraculous that mom wasn’t experiencing pain. A few nurses even came out and told us that they thought there had to be divine intervention going on, because mom should have been in a great deal of pain with her type of cancer, but she wasn’t. Mom was being protected. I think about all that, and I’m grateful for how obedient mom was to God; even in the littlest things, like, apricots. 

 

 

 

The Most Perfect Day

February 10, 2013
One Moment in Time

My son, Phil, was getting ready to bowl in his first tournament in mid-September of last year. My mom had just been diagnosed with cancer at the beginning of September. It was quite a trying time, to say the least.

We didn’t know if my mom  was going to be well enough to go to the tournament, but she said she wouldn’t miss it for the world.

So, Phil bowled his first tournament, and with his Grandma there watching, he won that tournament. It was quite a moment when his name was announced as being the winner, my mom was elated and Phil was so happy that she was able to be there.

Phil said it meant so much having his Grandma there, it made winning that much greater. My mom was very proud, she said if she didn’t live to see Phil win another tournament, she got to see him win the very first one he ever bowled in. Phil has never told anyone about winning that tournament without saying how much more meaningful it was because his Grandma was there watching. 

It couldn’t have been a more perfect day.

Music:One Moment in Time, Whitney Houston (Piano Cover)

 

February 9, 2013

In high school, I took a quarter of music theory. Sometimes I would walk to the downtowner after school and visit with grandma until my mom got off of work. For anybody who is unfamiliar with  music theory, all you need to know is that it's impossible. It is essentially math, and I'm terrible at math so I needed a ton of help in the class. I remember asking grandma for help with my theory homework one day and she explained to me like it was no big deal. I tried to keep up, but I had NO idea what she was talking about, let alone how to apply it. I ended up dropping the course at the end of the quarter and being an office assistant the rest of my senior year.

Between her and my father, they instilled in me a passion for music and the arts that sent me down the path I am today. If it weren't for her influence and support I would never have been able to pick-up a pair of drumsticks or plunk out those first poorly formed chords. I still don't know how to read music or anything about theory, and I likely never will. Regardless, music has become a huge portion of my life because of her and I couldn't be more thankful for her setting an example that illustrated that there is something going on beyond the notes.

New Spin On Gin

February 5, 2013
Feather Theme

Mom loved to play games, cards and board games. My brother Paul introduced us to “Gin” while he and his wife were out here a few years ago. My mom and I perfected the game. We found out that we could help each other to have less cards in the end, it was great. I guess some people who didn’t understand, would see that as cheating, but we were just helping each other.

My husband was one of those people who didn’t understand, and he liked to play the game to where mom and I couldn’t help each other. It wasn’t nearly as fun to play that way, because he usually won.

Well, when my brother came out again this passed November, we thought we would show him how mom and I made the game even better, but my husband wanted to play the old way. So, as we were playing, and he kept “Ginning,” mom got a little agitated, and at one point said to my husband, “I’m glad I scorched your shirt Galen!” (She used to do the ironing) And my husband said, “I thought you said that was an accident” and she replied, “It was, but now I’m glad I did it!”  That was a very funny moment, that has become a lasting memory.

There was a new saying in the house after that event, “Don’t make Mima mad, she’ll scorch your shirts!”

Gin will never be the same again Mom!

Music:Forrest Gump - Feather Theme

School Shopping

January 31, 2013
So, I guess I should thank mima for my school wardrobe over the years. I was always well-dressed but some of the outfits she would let me pick out...OH BOY! Lol! As I got in high school, she would still take me shopping, however, grammas CAN be a little embarrassing, cramping my grown-up style. I ditched her for a few minutes at JCPenny, so I could look at underwear. Well, she caught up with me and proceeded to "help" and I quickly said, "let's go!" Not before she yelled at the top of her lungs to me, "you don't want the colored ones bubby?" Mortified! She always was so giving...I miss shopping with her. Love you always mima!

One Slip Deserves Another

January 31, 2013
13 - Linus and Lucy

When my oldest son had started walking well enough to be hard to keep up with, mom and I took him to Valley Plaza Mall. I was in a Sears dressing room trying on an outfit and my mom was watching my son. I’m thinking that everything is fine and then I hear the dreaded words from my mother, “Gerda, is Russie in there with you?” Needless to say, before I had time to think, I came running out of the dressing room and ran through Sears and in to the mall where we found my son having a big time toddling his way toward the center of Valley Plaza. I was so relieved to have caught up with him before he got very far in to the mall, that it tempered some of the embarrassment when I realized that I was standing in the mall in my slip. This is one of those times when I could have wrung my mother’s neck.

But little did I know that years later, the table would be turned. We were at a convention at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. Mom was watching over both of my children in our hotel room. My sons enjoyed going to the big ice machine in the hall and getting ice in the little bucket. My mom told them that she would be right there in the doorway waiting for them. I guess they took a little longer than they should have and she stepped out into the hallway to see if she could see them, and the door closed behind her. It was locked and she didn’t have the key. I wonder if in that moment she remembered the day at Valley Plaza when I was standing in the mall in my slip? Because now, she was in the hallway, and locked out of her room, at the MGM Grand Hotel, standing in her slip. Life is funny isn’t it?

Music:Linus and Lucy

The Piano Recitals

January 30, 2013

   I will never forget mom's piano recitals that she held periodically for her students.
She would give each student a special tune they were to learn for the upcoming recital, then during each lesson mom would check on their progress and help them with any problems they were having in learning it.
   All her students had one thing in commom...anxiety.  It wasn't easy performing in front of a group of people, so as the date for the recital approached the anxiety increased.  But we could all find comfort in the fact that mom would be there to rescue us if we got in trouble.
   I recall one recital in particular.  It was held in a small auditorium that had a piano on a stage, and mom had decorated it with various floral arrangements.  As the students and parents arrived, mom would warmly greet them at the door.  I could see the nervous looks on their faces begin to relax as mom's friendly smile reassured them.
   By the time the program was scheduled to begin, everyone was focused on mom, who had stationed herself on the stage and was welcoming everyone again and thanking them for coming.  After a short introduction, she called the first pupil up to the piano.  I was so nervous...I remember telling myself, "Don't trip!"  With mom's loving hand on my shoulder, I successfully made it to the piano and somehow my fingers did what they were supposed to do.  Finally, it was all over, and when everyone clapped their hands in approval, I felt a warm feeling of accomplishment.
   As each student followed I understood what they were feeling.  Their anxiety...Their desire to show their parents and mom what they had learned...Their sense of pride in their performance.  I then understood why mom went to all the trouble planning those recitals. She was not only helping her students learn the skill of playing the piano, but she was also building character.
They were learning to conquer their fears and perform under pressure.  Mom knew that the things they were learning were important to help them face many challenges in the future with confidence.
   Thanks mom! 

Mom's TV Debut

January 30, 2013

I want to share a story about mom from when she was a little girl. She was invited to play piano on the very first TV broadcast in their town/county. That was quite an honor for her to be invited to be a part of a history making event like that, and she was just a little shaver. Well, I believe mom said that her dad got her dressed and ready to go. He must have been a little nervous about his little girl being a part of such a big event, because afterwards when someone asked my mom how she felt playing the piano on the very first television broadcast in town, she replied, “My daddy forgot to put my panties (Underwear) on me.” And that’s what she remembered most from her TV debut.

I’ve always thought that was such a cute story. Mom had bragging rights, to be a part of such an event, but not having her undies on was the focus of the story when she told it. I guess when you think about it, this event would come to be a testimony of mom’s nature. She was very humble, and she always conducted herself in a lady-like fashion, and that includes wearing her underwear in public.

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