After hearing Uncle Larry's stories and jokes for years, I felt satisfied that I'd heard them all.  It was not until a November 2019 visit to our home that this one came out.
Grandpa Sharpf had a service station in Peru,Indiana.  The entire family participated in the work effort.  One Sunday Grandma and Grandpa went to Church.  That left Larry and Allen in charge of the business.  Explicit instructions were given as to what needed to be done on this particular Sunday. 

The Note Said...
1. Clean and wash all service bays.
2.  Restock and clean bathrooms.
3.  Sweep entire front of the station and empty all garbage cans.
4.  Go over to Eikenberry* and get "The Company Car" for it will need to be detailed from top to bottom, stem to stern.  Do this IMMEDIATELY as they have a pick-up at 2:00.

So Larry scurried over to Eikenberry and picked up the vehicle. He was back at a moments notice.  The third employee* was running late for his shift this particular morning.  So Larry and Allen started the job. Scrubbing, polishing, dusting and cleaning they did.  The third worker* showed up and all that was left was to vacuum the "car".  Larry looked at Allen and said follow my lead... They told the new guy* they'd been toiling for hours (probably 30 minutes) and could he finish.  Sure, he replied.  Larry had told Allen to get in the back....and here...cover yourself with this sheet.  He did.   So newbie* opened that huge back door of the "CompanyCar" and climbed in with the hose to start vacuuming.  A few moments later Allen reached out from under the sheet and grabbed the guys arm.  Seconds later they saw him running down Broadway St. screaming.  He hasn't been seen since.

Upon returning from Church Grandpa asked......How'd it go?  Great Dad....great!  Grandpa looked around and said.... Hey??? Where's (so and so)*?  Oh! Larry piped up....he never came in....


A few footnotes.....the other employees' name has been withheld as everyone is sure he's STILL in shock.
Eikenberry was the local Funeral Home

There's a highly anticipated golf match between four very competitive friends. It is a "team" competition. Bragging rights for the winners are going to last for years, and the losers will be reminded that they lost, forever. It is to be a competition of epic proportions.

The stage is set at Colwood Golf Couse in Portland, Oregon. The teams are: Larry Sharpf and Denny Lowe...vs. Tom Allen and Don Wallen.

The match is "best ball", meaning the lowest score shot on each hole wins that hole, and the losers of each hole can double the bet amount if they so choose. The first hole was played for $5.00 due each player on the winning team. If the hole is won with a birdie, (one under par), the payoff on that hole is double. The bet amount was of course doubled every time someone lost a hole, so the amount being wagered was substantial by the time the 18th hole was reached. I don't recall exactly, but it was in the neighborhood of $300/$400 each...possibly more.

On the 18th hole, a difficult par four, Don Wallen and Tom Allen each hit perfect drives down the middle of the fairway. I then step up to the tee and proceeded to and hit my drive out of bounds. I tee up another one and hit it out of bounds....meaning Larry was left to battle the other team on his own....two against one.

Don Wallen and Tom Allen could be best described as "giddy" as they were confidently romping up the fairway. They were repeatedly and loudly  chanting "When the going gets tough, the tough get going", and were "high-fiving" each other every few minutes.

I felt terrible, and wanted to throttle the two of them right there on the spot, but Larry didn't say a word, nor did he change his expression, which in hindsight should have concerned the other guys.... but they were too busy congratulating themselves on what they thought was a sure victory.

Tom Allen's second shot was on the green, although a long way from the pin, and Don's was near the edge of the green. Larry had played the hole carefully, since he was our only chance, so his second shot left him about 125 yards from the green.

The chanting and the "high-fiving" on the green had become louder and even more annoying, when Larry calmly took out his 9 iron, stepped up to his ball, hit it a mile into the air..... and it flew right into the hole!

It was the thrill of victory....and the agony of defeat. There was immediate moaning and groaning from the high-fivers...shock and disbelief was tantamount.

But here's the punch line...the lesson in life, Larry didn't change his expression, nor boast, nor in any way change his demeanor. I would've been still whooping and hollering if I'd have done that....after all, it was the golf shot of the year, at the perfect time, and in the perfect scenario, but Larry was Larry....... Wise and confident....and a winner.