This story has to be told in Chadron ,Ne . I remember so many relatives there Uncle Francis Patton ( deceased ) matthew red shirt (deceased) now all my relatives that lived there have all moved to rapid city and other places . Nobody likes to admit to being powerless and being addicted or alcoholic . I moved back to Chadron,Ne in 1987 right after new years from Denver ,colo . My wife at that time was going to have our first born tom and was carrying him . I was a jekeyll / hyde drinker i was very destructive . My uncle never judged me on this he was always supportive . I went to treatment numerous times ,rolled vehicles ,and went to jail all this practicing alcoholis do . my dad died in 1990 may and my uncle stepped up and really became my pos male role model . Nobody is perfect in life we all have flaws but my uncle was perfect for me in at that time .i finally sobered up when dad died not by myself but with the help of alot of caring people like my uncle lloyd and lou redman . i got divored ,lost my dad , and sobered up all in a 2 year span . The Chadron group ,Red Cloud group and support of alot of family and friends really helped at that time in my life . many a time i want to just run and flush everything i worked and scrificed to have . My uncle lloyd and lou redmond did not let that happen . i have fond memories of chadron,ne when i go there my mom likes to shop there . All the people we knew there are gone moved away or passed . I know its bittersweet for my mom to go there but we still do . I look back at my uncles life and testimonoy . He was a hard man raised the old lakota way . Very hard but in a loving way . I got to know him thru the program and thru our spiritual ways my uncle like my mom was fluent in lakota . my mom has reachedthat platuea also she has COPD and lung problems . I have lost so many uncles ,aunts ,cousins ,and friends in my life . MY uncle lloyd used to always tell me cross bridges as you come to them ,this to shall past and he like my mom are great blievers in prayer and family . I see this in my cousins and their families . all i can say is pray and hang in there . i by no means tell anybody how to mourn there isnt a book on it or a certain way . all i know is my relatives all on that otherside looking back lived life when they were here some on the darkroad som on the light road and alot inbetween on the gray road . i too lived live there so i cant be judgemental . live live my relatives feel the pain ,glory,darkness and light and when the light shines on you embrace it cause when it gets dark and rainy you can look back and remember the light . i look forward to seeing you all again for the memorial its coming back again a year . We down here know we all live life and dont always get to see each other doesnt mean one hurts less of more just means the economics of being lakota humility and our blood ( relatives past ) conect us to the ground . HAu hetchtu mitakue oyasin