Today would have been 31 for Lonny. Happy birthday wherever you are in heaven, and tell my grandma and cousin I say hi and I love them. Hopefully they will sing you happy birthday today since my cousin is a musician and my grandma can sing for you.:) I found a video from our five year reunion at Jerrys from 2008. I didn't know I had it. It was a nice surprise to see ur face and hear you for a minute. I wish all the best for your daughter and mother and brother and family. You guys are wonderful and I know Lonny is there giving his mom and daughter a big hug today from heaven.

My wonderful son how I miss you. How we Will miss u today on the fourth I can see u swimming and playing with Cierra. Letting off fireworks and watching the delight in her eyes. She misses u honey every guy she sees with a ball cap on she thinks it's her daddy. I know u are with mom and Brandon and your baby girl Emily. Watching Cierra from up above. I'm so sorry your gone. Just know we all understand the fight you were fighting Drugs have a way of stealing your life and they sure stold yours. But some good was done while u were here u inspired a lot of people. They all are still crying and shocked you are gone. Please send me a sign your ok I will be watching for it. I love and miss u so much but I know your healthy again and not hurting. Love mom

Lonny it's been a little over a week since you passed. I miss you so much. I keep thinking about all the good times with you. Lisa is pregnant and if it's a boy I would like to make his middle name Lonny. I want to make sure that my child knows who you were and that you were the best brother I could have asked for. I love you so much and I am so happy you are not suffering anymore.

Lonny,

I was fortunate enough to know and love you during your better years, and I can only hope that in heaven your body will be free of anything that has hurt you and you are free. On this day of your memorial, I will be thinking of you and your dear family.

Monica Ricks

Lonny, I am writing this for my daughter, Teagan, who is currently far away and would be devastated to hear of your passing. I cannot reach her to tell her the sad news nor could she even return home now to be present and mourn the loss with your family and other friends. She loved you, laughed with you, counted on you, and knows the pain you shared.
I remember the few times I met you and was charmed by your kindness and intellect. I remember most, too, how much you loved your little daughter and how you said she was the most important part of your life! You were so grateful that your parents could care for her, and you worked so hard so you could be in her life. Teagan, her sisters, Aubrey and Genevieve, and I send our love to your family. You, Lonny, were a delightful, beloved young man, and we are so sad to see you leave this world.

Tomorrow son we will all be together to remember all the wonderful things you brought to each one of us. I have never felt so much pain in my heart as I feel right now. You gave me so much joy and now so much sorrow. You were in the last 8 years fighting for your life. I was there fighting with you. You gave me Cierra and I thank god for her everyday. I know your at peace in heaven and healthy and happy. Your daughter will always know how much you loved her and I will try to keep your memory alive so she will remember you always. I'm not going to say goodby because I know I will he with you soon we all will. Love you forever my precious baby boy

Lonny and I always shared our interest for music. Both him and I jammed at my house in high school , and since we had only recently gotten back in touch with each other after our ten year reunion we decided to work on some music for my new album and it was supposed to be this week that we were gonna co-write and he would produce. So since we missed our studio session given life circumstances, I thought I'd write him a song. I used part of his quote from senior year under his graduating picture. He was always so sweet and never made me feel like anything but special. Chivalry was not archaic with that man, and i appreciated it more than he realized. He bought my mother and I lunch one day. He was so excited to get together, I just wish I would have hugged him tighter when I left from Joe's. It was the last time i ever saw him. So anyone who wants to listen I hope it does him justice. He deserves the best. RIP Lonny We will always miss you.
soundcloud.com/gayle-18 is the link and the song is called "a song for Lonny"

Lonny, I remember you as a little boy, so full of life and so loved by your family. Your Mom loves you so much and wanted only the best for you, You and her are at peace now, she does not have to worry about you. She will think of you always and will have a smile on her face knowing that you are no longer in pain and do not have to fight the demons of this world anymore. What a beautiful little girl you left for your Mom to cherish and love, she will see you in her as she grows up and becomes a beautiful soul like you. Love you from your cousin and family

Lon, my heart has been broken since the day I learned of your passing. I am having trouble processing this. It just doesn't seem like reality. :'( I'm going to miss you so much. Your intelligence, your smile, your laugh, everything. You've always been an amazing friend who knew just what to say to make me smile. But right now, I just can't. :'( Rest in peace my dear friend. Lots of love. ❤

Lonny,

I honestly don't know what to say. It's still hard for me to believe you are gone. I know you are in a better place, and definitely at peace now. I just remember how funny and friendly you always were. You could make anyone laugh, no matter what their mood was that day. And you were such an inspiration with your weight loss! Will miss reading your facebook posts about U of M (GO BLUE!). Just know that you will forever be missed and remembered. Praying for your family and daughter.

I love you so much. I know you are at peace now. We will make sure your daughter knows what a great person, father, brother, son, and friend you were. I will never forget you. Never.

Lonny,
I don't have words, so I borrow from my favorite poet with hope that some find solace in them as I have:

"The nutritionist said I should eat root vegetables,
said if I could get down thirteen turnips each day
I would be grounded, rooted.
Said my head would not keep flying away to where the darkness lives.

The psychic told me my heart carries too much weight,
said for twenty dollars she’d tell me what to do.
I handed her the twenty and she said, “Stop worrying, darling,
you will find a good man soon.”

The first psycho-therapist said I should spend three hours a day
sitting in a dark closet with my eyes closed and my ears plugged.
I tried it once but couldn’t stop thinking
about how gay it was to be sitting in the closet.

The yogi told me to stretch everything but the truth,
said focus on the out breath,
said everyone finds happiness
if they can care more about what they can give
than what they get.

The pharmacist said Klonopin, Lamictal, Lithium, Xanax.

The doctor said an antipsychotic might help me forget
what the trauma said.

The trauma said, “Don’t write this poem.
Nobody wants to hear you cry about the grief inside your bones.”

But my bones said, “Tyler Clementi dove into the Hudson River
convinced he was entirely alone.”

My bones said, “Write the poem.”
To the lamplight considering the river bed,
to the chandelier of your faith hanging by a thread,
to everyday you cannot get out of bed,
to the bullseye of your wrist,
to anyone who has ever wanted to die:

I have been told sometimes the most healing thing we can do
is remind ourselves over and over and over
other people feel this too.

The tomorrow that has come and gone
and it has not gotten better.

When you are half finished writing that letter
to your mother that says “I swear to God I tried,
but when I thought I’d hit bottom, it started hitting back.”

There is no bruise like the bruise
loneliness kicks into your spine
so let me tell you I know there are days
it looks like the whole world is dancing in the streets
while you break down like the doors of their looted buildings.
You are not alone
in wondering who will be convicted of the crime
of insisting you keep loading your grief
into the chamber of your shame.

You are not weak
just because your heart feels so heavy.
I have never met a heavy heart that wasn’t a phone booth
with a red cape inside.

Some people will never understand
the kind of superpower it takes for some people
to just walk outside some days.
I know my smile can look like the gutter of a falling house
but my hands are always holding tight to the rip cord of believing
a life can be rich like the soil,
can make food of decay,
turn wound into highway.

Pick me up in a truck with that bumper sticker that says,
“It is no measure of good health
to be well adjusted to a sick society.”

I have never trusted anyone
with the pulled back bow of my spine
the way I trusted ones who come undone at the throat
screaming for their pulses to find the fight to pound.
Four nights before Tyler Clementi
jumped from the George Washington bridge
I was sitting in a hotel room in my own town
calculating exactly what I had to swallow
to keep a bottle of sleeping pills down.

What I know about living
is the pain is never just ours.
Every time I hurt I know the wound is an echo,
so I keep listening for the moment the grief becomes a window,
when I can see what I couldn’t see before
through the glass of my most battered dream
I watched a dandelion lose its mind in the wind
and when it did, it scattered a thousand seeds.

So the next time I tell you how easily I come out of my skin
don’t try to put me back in.
Just say, “Here we are” together at the window
aching for it to all get better
but knowing there is a chance
our hearts may have only just skinned their knees,
knowing there is a chance the worst day might still be coming

let me say right now for the record,
I’m still gonna be here
asking this world to dance,
even if it keeps stepping on my holy feet.

You, you stay here with me, okay?
You stay here with me.

Raising your bite against the bitter dark,
your bright longing,
your brilliant fists of loss.
Friend, if the only thing we have to gain in staying is each other,
my god that is plenty
my god that is enough
my god that is so so much for the light to give
each of us at each other’s backs
whispering over and over and over,
“Live. Live. Live.”

Lonny, You live in our hearts. Thank you for the light you gave us for the time you were here with us.

Lonny, I love you so much. Just reading our memories on facebook eaelier. You and I never missed the opportunity to wish eachother a 'LALppy SNAVday' (happy birthday). I will always cherish our memories and will always have such a special place for you in my heart. I am praying for healing for your mother, little Cierra, your brother and all the rest of your friends and family that are suffering from this loss. And I will continue to share my memories of you so that one day your baby girl can see how very very loved and cherished you were by all. Til we meet again my friend. Rest In Paradise.

Lonny, my beautiful brother! I will miss you dearly and forcing you to watch Legend. I wish you were a healthier man but, unfortunately you had this terrible disease. I know now that you are no longer suffering and are a very lucky man to be were you are. We still have our job to do on earth and you did yours well. It prouds me to see how many souls you have touched and affected. I'm proud of you for being you and allowing me to be part of a wonderful life of you. You will always live on in our memories and dreams of you. I'm not going to say goodbye to you but, see you later because I know we will meet again in dreams and when it is my time to go home. Now you behave yourself and continue to keep a smile while watching over us. I will see you later. Love you very much.

Lonny my beautiful son, my baby boy. My heart is broken so sad. I love you always and forever. I know your in heaven now with my mom. She was waiting for you. Your at peace now my son. No more worries no more needing the drugs. You wanted so badly to be normal again you told us this on the very last conversation you had with Josh we told u getting healthy is the first step Yeh I know it mom !! Lol I think you deeply felt that sobriety was attainable but you new it was to hard to fight it anymore. As your mom to see your child in such deep deep despair you want to help them. I tried honey for 8 long years to help and support you. I even gave up my retirement to raise your baby. Not once disappointed because you gave me the greatest gift ever and that Cierra. You will live on in her. I will hold her tighter now and know I'm still hugging you. I'm so sorry honey that you had this disease which was inherited It's a horrible disease It robbed you and all of us from a wonderful fun loving young man who I knew would of been a great sportscaster. A great writer you were. You knew everything about sports and players you could work magic on computers and the best at video games. Your love of movies and music. So helpful to others. Oh Lonny mama understood your battle I seen the despair everyday on your face how badly you felt around others for what you had done in the past how my heart ached for you. I hope you are at peace now. I will miss you everyday but watching you grow up again in Cierra. See you soon my beautiful son I promise....

Lon, what can I say, losing you is devastating. I will never forget the hours we spent walking around the lake all night. Or that no matter where we were swimming if we were in a lake you were convinced the fish were biting your feet. You stood up with me on my wedding day, you drove 4 hours to see me on my birthday. You had the funniest laugh, and gave amazing bear hugs. Through the years I always knew I could count on you to listen, and make me laugh. You leave a gaping hole in my heart, I will always love and miss you.

Lonny, I miss you so much. I am still in denial and can't believe that you are gone. Everything just seems so unreal. I will never forget the great times we had together and the many laughs we shared. You had an amazing personality and a smile that was contagious. I love you now and forever. Until we meet again...

What I will never forget about Lonny was his ability to make you laugh so hard. He was an incredible talent and was always a gracious and kind young man. Yes he is now at peace and I will never forget him and remember his beautiful smile.

I miss you SO much already. Over the past year we became just as close, if not closer than we were in high school. You helped me get thru one of the toughest spots i have been in. I will miss our constant laughs, Tiger talk and overall friendship. You were an AMAZING man and friend. I love you buddy, you will never be forgotten and always be missed. My heart goes out to your parents, Josh, friends and especially Cierra. ♡♡♡♡