Dear Lorraine,

I should be packing my carry on bag with all those jars of pickles, chutneys, 'lunu-miris' Pol Sambol, and the slab of 'Love Cake" from the Sri Lankan shop here in Melbourne, to the extent that I have to wear most of my clothes so I dont go over the weight limit! Instead, I am writing something on your Forever Missed page.

I miss my annual 'birtday' pilgrimage, for Yum Cha and checking out all those Indonesian, Thai, and Sri Lankan restuarants in Sunny Bank. Miss all the talking late into the night,  laughter, tears for lifetimes past, and laughter again at the end of it.

"You can shed tears that is she is gone - or you can smile because she has lived."

Miss you

Love

Therese

This picture was taken by Babs on a happy day out in Portsmouth, about 1998, when we visited Nelson's flagship together.  Lorraine could always be relied upon to make interesting comments or humorous asides to enliven any outing and this photograph seems to encapsulate her sometimes 'operatic' personality, not to mention that unfailing generosity of spirit which made her such a lovable friend.

She was the only person allowed to call Christina 'Chrissy' because it sounded so lovely in her musical Sri Lankan accent.  (Her voice still resonates with us now and we can easily slip into 'Lorraine mode' if making a particular observation!)  It's lovely to see the photo's from different stages of her life and I remember her well from those HK days when she was just a slip of a thing... well, weren't we all?? Seeing the more recent shots where her hair is grey makes me think that she attained a sort of Mrs Gandhi gravitas - but, no, she'd have really hated that comparison!

She was simply Lorraine, and we loved her for that.  Sweet dreams baby.

I think if she did have GPS back then she would have switched it off in favour of the radio and music and still would have ended up in the wrong place. 

My first contact with Lorraine was in Grade 7 in 1963 at Lindsay Girls’ School in Colombo.  We had the classroom next to the Library.  Lollo as she was known was unwell with rheumatic fever and had several periods of absence from school.  When she was in school, she was a bundle of laughs and we soon bonded. 

I still remember the day she fainted outside the staff room.  The De Silva girls arrived in a taxi which drove up to the staff room – I was standing on the balcony waiting for the bell to go.  The rest of the family got out followed by Lorraine; it was like watching a slow motion movie and then without any warning, Lollo fainted.  Of course there was a huge re-action from the rest of the girls who witnessed this and a staff member rushed outside and with the help of some others, she was carried into the sick room through the staff room.  I really think she loved being theatrical!!!

The De Silva family left Ceylon for Hong Kong (I think it was September 1963) but our friendship did not end there.  She used to write the most hilarious letters to me and I would laugh – my parents were very anxious to find out what was so funny and I sometimes read portion of her letters to my Mum.

 After a few years the letters stopped and we lost touch.  I often wondered what had happened to her and tried to locate her (these were the days before internet and social media so it wasn’t very easy).

How fortunate I was to talk to Therese at one of our Lindsay PPA AGMs and she put me in touch with Lorraine and we began to communicate by email.

I visited her in 2014 and we caught up on each other’s lives and began reminiscing about other school friends and the music of the 60’s.  We would share youtube dancing clips usually of various people dancing the tango as she knew I loved the Tango.

One of the stories she told me about her days in the convent in Hong Kong was when she took a tin/packet of Kraft cheese to school and how the French nun looked at her in horror.

During this visit we went out to lunch with David and Elizabeth and Jeremy and Di and her neighbour Adrienne; while we were waiting for our lunch I called Mrs Poulier on my phone and Lollo was able to speak to her.

I was fortunate to visit her again in December last year – I realised that she had deteriorated considerably since I had last seen her.  Still behind the pain and discomfort her sense of humour came through and we had many laughs.  She was quite angry with me by the third day of my visit and called me a bully, all because I was hassling her about reporting her faulty C-PAP machine.  She was very teary when I said goodbye and apologised for calling me a bully.

During my visits she spoke very proudly of Tara and was so delighted that she came to Australia to get married.  One of Lorraine’s biggest regrets was that her illness prevented her from travelling.

Rest in Peace Lollo, you have certainly earned your rest after all the years of persevering with your illness.

I just wanted to say that the lady I met at Tara & Arun's surprise wedding was one who had a cheeky sense of humour and great stories to tell. Lorraine was a character as colourful as her red top. I could tell she had lived a passionate life and it made sense having known Tara for many years as to how you are forever connected through spirit. Long live the memory of Lorraine in our hearts. oxox Helen.

I was lucky enough to meet Lorraine while we were both working at B&Q Corporate head office in Chandlers Ford, UK  in the 90's.. She was an "international" kinda gal .. I loved her for it, so many experiences, in so many countries - a wealth of information, stories of distant places.  She loved her daughter, Tara, without question - total unconditional love - and Lorraine's good graces have been transposed to her daughter for sure xx  Her days at B&Q were blighted by various things/people, but she valiantly trooped on .. she had a mission, to see her child through school and beyond.  Yes, Lorraine was dedicated to many things in life, but non more so than Tara.   Lorraine definitely was a fun lady to be around, multi faceted, humerous, deep, loved her food:) yet didn't like to cook - bless her, cultured, had a great love of the arts xx  Such an accomplished woman, yet could be ditzy too - just thinking about her brings a smile to my face - and I guess always will xx  Even in her times of illness, she always had reassuring words for me - such a caring friend, who I shall truly miss.  Although she and I lived on different continents, and corresponded infrequently at times, when we did - it was just like we were talking the day before ... and for that kind of friendship I will always be grateful.  One song Lorraine sent me, via email, was "Happy" by Pharrell Williams .... I'm not clever enough to upload it - but maybe someone else could on our behalf ...  

There's no sorrow or suffering for Lorraine now, she rests - and she will be forever remembered.

Mum was always in a hurry in the mornings on her way to work. Famously one morning, she dressed, ran out of the house to her car, waved good morning to the neighbours ("Why are they giving me such strange looks?" she wondered), and felt a strange breeze across her knees... she had forgotten to put on her trousers! She ran back into the house faster than she'd ever moved before. After she told the girls at work about this little episode, one of them drew a cartoon for her birthday, to immortalise the moment.

Mum and I visited New York together in December 2006. Roaming the streets, she kept herself going with coffee after coffee after coffee, but always her complaint was this: "WHY can't I have a proper coffee in a proper cup?! Why does it always have to come in a paper cup? What's wrong with these people?!" Finally we stopped at a cafe for lunch and she rubbed her hands with glee anticipating a coffee mug or similar, only to be horrified as her coffee came with the meal... in a paper cup. "It just doesn't taste the same!!!" It became a running joke, and every coffee joint we passed received an eye roll and a tut. "Bet they serve their coffee in paper cups. Tsk." Eventually one afternoon we found ourselves at a cafe in the East Village, and she resigned herself to the indignity of another paper cup. Oh my god, when the waitress rolled up with her tray and there was a PROPER COFFEE CUP ON IT, I swear I've never seen her eyes light up like that. It was like seeing a kid on Christmas morning. I had to take a picture. 

Having only gotten to know Lorraine in her later life, I have often been fascinated by stories from her youth: as a young girl growing up in Sri Lanka, as a young woman rubbing shoulders with the creme of Hong Kong’s colonial past, and then in the USA, Australia, England and beyond. These stories have offered me but a glimpse into the life of a woman I only really know as Tara’s mum; and I feel these stories can be much better told by those who experienced them with her.  

So I just wish to share what I know first hand: the depth of her love and commitment to Tara, and the values and qualities she passed on, which can only be described as the most precious inheritance imaginable. Lorraine has always been fiercely proud of her daughter, carrying on her tradition of independence, intelligence and adventure and, like mother, like daughter, both have a flair for putting it all into words. The world is indeed a duller place without the force-of-nature that was Lorraine; and yet how grateful are we all that these traits live on through Tara.  

Maybe it was luck, maybe it was something more, but Tara and I feel truly blessed that we tied the knot last year, before Lorraine passed from this world. As her son-in-law, I believe this special moment helped bring her some peace of mind at the end of her life: to put her heart at ease that I share her lifelong commitment to cherishing her only child.   

It is also a great relief that, in a way, Tara feels like she had the chance to say goodbye over the last few months of her life as her mum’s health continued to deteriorate. Many good things were said and shared and love was communicated on the deepest level.  

To all those who knew and loved Lorraine - family and friends - I offer my sincerest condolences. 

I think everyone from the UK remembers the time that mum was driving home from London to Southampton... and ended up in Birmingham! "Well, I had Van Morrison going on the car radio and snacks on the seat next to me... I was quite enjoying the drive and just wasn't paying much attention!"

Not to mention the time that she was driving home from Southampton city centre to our place in Bassett/Swaythling, and she ended up in Salisbury! Shame they didn't have GPS back then.