My sweet baby was conceived early in 2010. For months, I didn't even know that I was pregnant! As ridiculous as that sounds, it is true. I had no "signs" of pregnancy until I was already five months in...imagine! No morning sickness, no weight gain, no pain...no baby bump!

But, unbeknownst to Mommy, Little Man was growing, growing, growing. Stretching those little fingers, wiggling those little toes, testing the confines of his world.

When Mommy found out that she was, in fact, pregnant, it took a few weeks to "warm up to the idea". But once I did, I was ecstatic! WOW! A sweet little baby! My mother's first grandchild! My aunt's first niece or nephew! It seemed that all of a sudden, because my brain finally caught on to what my body already knew, ~BAM!~ there came a belly. I started showing almost immediately, and I was hungry all the time. I started taking pre-natal vitamins, drinking lots of water, and really watching what I ate. I began seeing an OB/GYN regularly to monitor my progress and have all the requisite bloodwork and lab tests. I was bound and determined that my little baby would be as healthy as possible when he came into this world.

As the months passed, I started getting more and more anxious...how I wanted to see my Lucas! How badly I wanted to hold him! But at the same time, I was apprehensive: I had never even held a newborn before...and the hospital was going to let me TAKE ONE HOME?!?! Yikes! I remember telling several people a few days before the tragic news, that ,"...as long as he is in my belly, I know that he is alright, and he's safe". How terribly wrong that proved to be. And how ironic that at the time, I truly believed it.

My little angel lives now forever with his Father, and the thousands of other little angel babies that are torn from their families far too soon. I like to imagine them playing together, free from all hurt or pain or suffering that they may have known in their short times on Earth...in my mind my sweet baby boy is happy and healthy; the tears on his cheeks are vanished, and he is perfect and pure...and just waiting for Mommy to come Home.