Ever day in every way, you are always with me!

I love you.

Jay B

More, I cannot imagine what I would have been without you.  Every night as I meditate, I bring up reveries of our life together.  You made me, you made us, you made our life.

Six years on it it is still hard and every night as I dream, you are still there, still there.

I love you.

Jay B.

My sweet love, it has been three years since you left to go to heaven and provide advice to the head man.  I have only had the courage to look at this memorial twice since you died but I am getting better.  I am dating, even remarried though that was troubled and is now ending, and each time I meet someone, I encourage that person to read this site to understand you, and me, and our almost 50 tear marriage.  I hope when you read this, you will reach out to me with some sign that says you are still there for me because you were, and are, the anchor in my life.  Whenever I am in a situation that requires judgement, I always turn to what you would have thought.  When I screw up, I know it's because I didn't listen to you and the life lessons you taught me.

I love you, rest in peace.

Jay B. 

Here are the top ten things I loved about Marcia:

10. She was the first person I ever met, besides TV mafia characters, who called pasta sauce "gravy."

9. She was the first person I ever knew, besides TV mafia characters, who pronounced provolone as PROVOLOAN.

8. She always wore big, bold jewelry with all clothes, in all situations, no matter what.

7. She was always about color--color, color, color--no black for her!

6. She clued me in to the best silk tailors in Vietnam (and ordered something for herself, of course).

5. She was proud and unashamed to be a strong feminist while simultaneously being a good mother, wife and cook.

4. At one of our first dinners together as couples, Jim was being his usual contrary self, and Marcia turned to me and whispered, "It's OK, I know he's DIFFICULT!"

3. She loved her grandsons like no others.

2. She loved her children Deborah and David, like no others. And last but not least...

1. She loved Jay B. like no other.

Marcia – what to say….She had the strongest core with the softest shell of anyone I have ever known. Unique is the word.  I have cherished our friendship with the Hunts for over –OMG -  could it be over 20 years!  For several years we took  a yearly trip to some fun place together. New Orleans, Santa Fe, Santa Barbara, Sonoma, Ashland, Or….

Perhaps my favorite was Ashland. Marcia was a lover of all forms of art. Of course she was a member of the Ashland Shakespeare Society. But the memory I think about most often is the one day ‘off’ from the theatre, Marcia decided we should all go white water rafting on the Rogue River. True to her spirit, she was fearless.  Where to sit in the raft – of course at the front of the boat! I can still hear the happy screams of joy and exhilaration from she and I as the boat dropped into the swirling waters.

Perhaps this is the story of her life. Never one to turn away from a new challenge, always one to stop and enjoy the calm of loved ones along the way.

Jay, I know the tremendous hole in your heart that exists now.  Please trust me, time will not make the pain go away, but it will fill the hole with wonderful memories.

  My  love to all of you,

Mary Jo

Today we celebrate the birthday and the life of a very special woman, Marcia Hunt. Marcia and I first met when she came to Sacramento to represent the San Francisco Unified School District on education issues in the State Capitol. Smart and articulate, she was a welcome addition to the education lobby. She expressed views and positions on legislative matters firmly and with clarity, working from an informed position, and did so graciously with a smile and an approach that made it ok to agree to disagree. 

Soon after I first met Marcia I learned of her lifelong commitment to the advancement of women through political action. During a gathering of the National Women’s Political Caucus I watched her make her way around the room, observed her interactions, and witnessed first-hand the respect she had earned through the years from other women. She was a definite force!

Marcia left the lobbying ranks to start Juicy News in the Jackson/Fillmore area of San Francisco. We stayed in touch, largely through get togethers organized by our mutual friend Amy Dean. I was incredibly impressed with this gutsy move, and loved to hear her stories of how her business was progressing. Like everything Marcia touched, her businesses soon thrived and grew to other locations.

 Over time, I got to know Marcia’s incredible husband J.B., her daughter Deborah and her two grandsons Hunter and Tyler. I was thrilled when they all moved to Sacramento. This provided many more opportunities to interact with a woman who I greatly admired. Her stories changed from work stories to stories of her daughter and grandsons, but hearing her latest news continued to be a treat.

Eventually, I had the privilege of working with Deborah. As we worked together I marveled at Deborah’s intellect, energy, strength in dealing with the day-to-day drama of the world of work, and the way she always found time to be a great friend and mother despite the many demands of being a single parent. When I had the opportunity to brag to Marcia about how darn good Deborah was/is, she would reply with a smile, a gleam in her eye, and a simple “I know.” Simply put, Deborah reinforces that old saying, “Apples don’t fall far from the trees.” She embodies all of the beautiful parts of Marcia and J.B.

As I reflect on what is important to me, and what I hope to leave for others some day, I hope that the things I value are as reflected in my children and grandchildren as they are in Marcia’s daughter and grandchildren. It may be awhile before Marcia and I chat again. When we do chat, I will reinforce how eternally grateful I am that she has given me a friend and confidant as special as Deborah. 

There is a hole in my heart knowing Marcia is not somewhere in our sunshine. Of all the men and women I have ever met, I admire her the most.  When I was lost, she pointed, cajoled, pushed, then shoved me to a better, happier path and my husband soon followed.

I have and will continue to think of her each time I roast a bell pepper and ponder those special years in the Caucus.  My thoughts are with you and your children... 

Loss is the absence of someone we were once attached to and loved. Grief is the rope burns left behind.

Right now, my heart, my soul, my body all suffer from the rope burns of Marcia's passing. And right now, the sense of loss and grief is profound. Will it go away? Yes, it must...if I am to function as Marcia would and she would want me to.

So, Goodbye Marcia and thanks for the love, the fun, the humor, the comfort and support you gave me all these years. I won't forget you.

i was going through old family photographs when i came across this one of Marcia and my father.  i thought it captured  something sweet between the two of them - a bond beginning to grow.  i sent it to Marcia on a whim and when i saw her next she was so touched. she made me feel like i had done something more than a small gesture.  that's how Marcia could make you feel. she will be missed.

Many of you have had the joy of knowing the Hunt family for decades, but I have had that distinct pleasure for only about 6 years.  During that time, I got to know Marcia and greatly enjoyed her company.

One memory I have, is that Deb often told me that Marcia found me charming (and you thought she had good taste!), but I could always tell that behind Marcia's laugh, there were those steely, twinkling eyes that let me know that charming I may be, but she wasn't going to fall for that charm.  I've seen that look in past teachers, and I knew Marcia had sized me up and I needed to mind my p's and q's!

Another memory I have of Marcia is my alter ego, Jerome.  The Hunt family is blessed with a surplus of Dave/Davids and another added to the mix only caused confusion, so Marcia used my middle name: Jerome.  Jerome is my more hip/streetwise alter ego, who is a mix of Shaft/Barry White and Dana Carvey, which Marcia seemed to find amusing.  So I often went by "Jerome" in the Hunt household.  One day I decided to make an out-going voice mail message in Jerome persona just for Marcia's amusement.  So, she called my voice mail box and left her own message as a "Jerome" fan.  I've uploaded it (you can hear Deb's protestations in the background), and its just to the left of entry above.  It tickeled me to no end to hear her leave that message.

All of us make an entrance and exit on life's stage, and Marcia played many rolls and played them all well. It was an honor to get to know her and share a laugh.  Every exit is an entrance somewhere else, and I know that on the next stage Marcia's spirit will possess the same grace and humor she shared with all of us.  While I will miss her, the next audience is in for a treat.

OK, it's about time I weigh in on Marcia.  The facts are that we met in September of 1958 at Indiana University.  Thereafter, we had one date a year until our senior year at IU when we were pretty intense, Marcia being Marcia and me being me.  We split right after graduation over two issues:  Catholicism and her being so independent.  You can imagine how those issues worked themselves out, so we spilt-up.  Fast forward to the spring of 1963 when I was unhappily in Law School at the University of Michigan.  I called Marcia one night, deep in my cups, and went "Woe is me, and so-on and so-forth,” ad nauseum. Marcia let that go on for a few minutes, and then, I will never forget, said, "Are you done, are you through wallowing?"  I was nonplussed, to say the least, but Marcia came right back with, "You are entitled to wallow for 5 minutes, that's it, then it's over--so get on with your life!"  That was pretty much Marcia and I have lived my life accordingly ever since.

I dropped out of Law School and went to California.  In the fall of 1963 we began talking, and talking, and talking by long distance, until she informed me she would arrive at LAX the following night at midnight. No surprise, I was on the toilet at the time--true story.  She flew out and we were engaged about two days later, November 15, 1963.  (Ask me sometime about what happened that night at the Huntington-Sheraton Hotel where we were celebrating.  Those that have heard the story know that it is, indeed, a very small world.)  A couple of weeks later, I left California and moved to Connecticut.

We got married February 1, 1964 in Ridgefield, Connecticut.  The lovely moment was her favorite Uncle, Frank Sikorski, telling me that if I did not take care of her, he would come after me with an axe--this as we were leaving the wedding reception at The Elms Inn in Ridgefield.  In the fall of 1964, we moved back to Ann Arbor while I finished Law School--horrible experience--and Marcia taught Junior High School and got her Masters in Communications.  After graduation, we took two months off and travelled all over the West until settling in Pekin, Illinois.  Peter and Gretchen Rogers, Bob and Susan Hanning and Jim and Rita Piotrowski can all tell stories about the crazy things we did.  It was in Pekin that Deborah was born on November 21, 1967.

Caterpillar, for which I worked, transferred us back to Connecticut after about 18 months and David was born in Bridgeport on April 21, 1969.  So, we went back and forth between New York and Chicago and finally moved to San Francisco with the Simmons Company in 1977; that’s where a lot of you come in.  Howard and Jackie Nemerovski, Peter and Ruth Levison, Margel and Stephen Kaufman, all of whom, because of Marcia, opened their hearts and their friends to us.  Without you, San Francisco would have been a tough nut to crack.  In 1978, Marcia applied for the position of Executive Director of San Francisco School Volunteers.  She didn't think she could do it, and I said she could do anything she set her mind to.  Because of Jackie, Ruth and Margel, she got it, and entered San Francisco education and politics.  At that, I need not tell any of you, she was superb.  Meanwhile, Marcia was one of the early women to be to be involved with NWPC, the National Women's Political Caucus, on whose Board she served for many years.  A signal event during this period was the 1984 Democratic National Convention, Marcia was a Gary Hart delegate--that's a long story.  But, she got Deborah on the floor when Geraldine Ferraro was nominated for Vice President!  Oh yes, at the same time, through School Volunteers, Kris and Owen O'Donnell and Eve Siegel and Bill Strawn became part of our life.

How do I pay tribute to all the women, and some men, that Marcia had an impact on over her life?  The list is long and, forgive me, but I will probably miss a few, but here goes.  From college, there were Susan Hanning, Deborah's Godmother.  They met across a hallway as freshmen and were life long friends.  Marilyn Simmons, from the same period and with a similar depth of relationship.   Mary Rapoport, earth mother, and so close to Marcia through NWPC, the Boys Club, and everything else.  Marcia and Mary met across the proverbial crowded room with each saying, "Who is that women?"  That was in 1972 and they have been sisters ever since!  Ev and Arlene Smethurst from Ann Arbor as well as Margo Mensing; Gary and Leni Wilhelmi in Chicago--when Marcia's father died in 1971, Leni simply showed up at the door and said "Go, I've got the kids until you get back."  One other name comes to mind, and it will not please her, probably, because she prefers a low profile but, here goes.   Barbara Wardenburg became a friend through the caucus, and, I’m sorry, Barbara, but you are about as liberal in the classic sense, as they come.  Nevertheless, Barbara stayed in the Republican Party so she could burrow from within the party and try for change on all the women’s issues that she and Marcia and Mary, and truth be told, I came to care about.  Barbara has a wicked sense of humor and doesn’t like hugs but she has promised me two at a date to be determined. 

Good Lord, the fact is that Marcia was by far the more interesting person in our relationship because she was really direct (you will all agree), wore her beliefs on her arm/sleeve (you never had any question about what she stood for or her beliefs.)  I came along for the ride, and what a ride it was.  A quick story, which, I think most all of you will appreciate, is the following.  When Marcia was in the ER in New York and not here any more, I said to the priest I had found to administer Last Rites, "Father, I want you to know that Marcia was a devout Catholic but she has been away from the church because of issues like the priesthood, inequality for nuns, family planning and so on.  BUT, she is upstairs right now with your boss saying, you have to get on top of these issues now and get them solved."

Marcia dearly loved her two children:  Deborah because she is engaged in the moment and liberal about the things she cares about let alone being an absolutely terrific woman, mother and person, as well as David, who is emotionally very close to his mother, and, his mother and I would agree, amongst the most well read people we know (the contest being between his sister and him); both children, I think would tell you that they are who they are because of their mother.  Now, because Deborah and David are so like her mother in many respects, there were always lively debates around the table in San Francisco. Without Deborah these last ten days, I would be a basket case.  David was a trial, as he would attest, including announcing one day that he was going to wear a pink bunny costume to Lowell High School, where he and Deborah were students.  Our only advice was to be "authentic' all day, and he was.

As for our grandchildren, Hunter and Tyler, what a joy they have been.  Both are sensitive, shades of their Grandmother, and, since they have live with us 24/7, an integral part of our lives.  Hunter wanted a pillow from his Nana, Tyler her rosary.  Both went to school a few days after Marcia died, requesting to wear a piece of jewelry from Nana, which they did.  Every night, they set a place at the table for Nana and, I believe, talk to her.  I worry a little that neither Deborah nor David has been able to grieve enough because of me but I hope that will come.  Both have the example of a mother who cared and was behind whatever her children wanted to do, albeit with opinions about that, again no surprise.  Marcia and Deborah were students together at City College of San Francisco's School of Hotel and Restaurant Management, what fun that must have been for Deborah, but she went on to work all over the US in hospitality management, from Key West to San Diego to Detroit to San Francisco, and later in the non-profit arena as well as venture capital.  David, after graduating from Cal, set off on a "journey" that encompassed and has included, working all over the world in art.  From Art Basel to any other festival, he has been there.  I think he would agree, that all his mother would have cared about was that he was happy.

Marcia and her brother David were very close though neither, under any circumstances, would admit it.  Both admit to youthful indiscretions toward each other.  Both were passionate about food and the joy of living.  Both are passionate about family and I should note that they both know I am Italian by marriage--nothing worse than a convert.  I would have been a very boring person without the Italian influence; I mean really boring.  So, to Marcia and David, thank you for rescuing me from what my life could have been, if not for you.

Which brings me to the Cousins.  My first exposure to Italian life, particularly of the Sicilian variety, was over Christmas of 1963.  Here I am, the first non-Catholic, second non-Italian member of the family on either side, sitting down to dinner, bottles of red wine, homemade, under the table, and dear Joe Milone took me under his wing to get me through this new experience.  That happened over and over again over the next few years as I won my acceptance into this family, that was culturally way outside of my understanding.  To all the cousins, thank you for loving Marcia and accepting me--I know it was hard, but thank you.

So, we had a long run, I hoped it would result in a 50th anniversary, but it didn't.  Marcia was tough, tough, tough, but so loving and compassionate; she really cared about people, all of our friends, and was not shy about expressing what she thought. This is really hard, but part of life.  One of the things I have liked hearing most from the stories and tributes, is the way in which Marcia touched so many people's lives, particularly women.  Lin Ishihara's story is very typical as is Margel Kaufman's.  Marcia was always prodding Lin and was very proud of what she accomplished later.  Margel is a tougher case because she was, and is, so vital, no shrinking violet, yet the story that Margel tells is spot on and so Marcia!

I could go on all night talking about her friends but I can't do this anymore tonight.  Suffice to say, you know who you are and that she loved you all intensely because that's the way she lived her life, intensely!!

Every night, I go to bed and say, "I love you, rest in peace".  Sorry, now I am going to cry for a bit and know that all of you loved her.  Please cry a little with me and for Marcia.

Thank you for that.

Jay B.

What I feel?
Fortunate to have Jay B and Marcia in our lives.
Happy to have been a recipient of her smile.
Honored to be accepted in to her circle of friends.
Sad to not have had more time with her.
Lucky to read all these wonderful stories about the Amazing Marcia.
Desire to make changes to my own life to live a longer, healthier life in her honor.
Thankful to have lived in Mexico so our paths could cross with two such amazing people as Marcia and Jay B.
Peaceful that she no longer suffers and that so many people loved her.
Wishing I had met Jay and Marcia years before.
Regrets for not having the time to know her better.
Overwhelmed at the sincerity of Jay B and Marcia - your love of us and others blows me away. Thank you for that love!

What I remember?
I remember the first time I spelled her name, how impressed Marcia was that I spelled it correctly. She could make you feel on top of the world for the simplest action. And that goes for Jay B. You are an amazing man! I wished I could have done more for them.

Talking food - being married to a Sicilian, I got Marcia - one has a passion for food and an understanding of how meat balls and sausages can be an entire conversation.

Marcia and Jay B. believed in us and became such faithful supporters of us and our family. They accepted Gena as a maturing young woman and gave her self esteem and confidence. There sincere caring of every one that they loved is so admirable. Jay's love and admiration of Marcia was so remarkable that my heart aches for him. A friendship, love affair, so pure that it is unique and a source of encouragement that such passion can exist .......so absent in so many relationships.

With much love in my heart and tears in my eyes, I write this from our entire family.

Love Claire, Joe and Gena

I loved loved loved her!  She was always there for me, my girls, and every woman she met!  Welllllllll almost.  All has been said and then some.  Last night as Jim and I were driving back from celebrating our 35th anniversary, I was telling him my heart was so full I just didn't know what to write to Jay B and Deborah.  I know Marcia is just fine discussing with the great Spirit what needs to be done to make this earth a better place for all.  Jay B,  Deborah, and David had the most special wife and mother. My heart aches for them!   Then I heard Marcia's voice yell, "Just do it!"

My favorite story... Being in the office at CUSD with Marcia in her famous afro, smoking, and asking me about my volunteer work in my sorority. "What is this sorority about?" she asks.

Thinking this wonderful, liberal, vibrant with an attitude woman does not appreciate coed sororities!  In a meek voice, I told her it was a national organization on my college campus for woman.  

She yelled, "I know that-which one?"  

I replied, "Alpha Phi"   

With that tears get in her eyes, she hugs me, and laughs, "I am an Alpha PH!" 

Little known fact about Marsha: She loved to polish silver. She came to my flat from time to time with exquisite dim sum (you know Marsha) and her own polishing rags and silver crème (which I’ve since adopted) and we’d sit at my dining table eating, polishing and gossiping.

I met Marsh at a party of a mutual friend and we gravitated towards each other and yakked all evening mainly about theatre. She was alone so, at the time, I didn’t realize she was married when we talked of going to alt theatre performance together. She introduced me to Word-for-Word when she was still on the Z-Space board. I became a forever fan of Marsha and the venue.

 Marsha was a game woman and actually went tent camping with me twice! Our deal was that I’d drive (duh) and she’d cook. At dinner she’d produce foil packets of whisky-infused, free-range capybara or something equally exotic and ready to grill. We once went to Lassen Volcanic National Park and once to MacKerricher State Park; she’d hike short and I’d hike long and we’d both read in our sleeping bags for hours at night.

I never knew better hosts or guests than the Marsha & Jay Act. Once I met them, I wouldn’t dream of having a party or dinner without them and would check with them first about their schedule. I was crushed when they moved to Sacramento.

I will forever miss her passionate soul and incandescent smile.

"Role Model" is a term used so casually these days, but Marcia was a supremely important role model and woman warrior in my life.  I vividly remember how scared I was of her during the beginning of her tenure at School Volunteers.  She was a formidable, super smart, brave and outspoken (!) leader.  And I was a country girl working like a beaver to look effective but so lacking in confidence about my professional skills and my voice as a woman. Marcia said some frank, tough things to me:  that I needed to "lean in" and put myself out there instead of playing it safe on the sidelines - and not to chew gum. Ha! "Lin," she said, "only cows chew like that."  I remember being hurt and embarrased by some of her candid feedback, but I knew Marcia only wanted to make me better, stronger, more confident.  She could have easily said nothing but she said it because she cared about me as a person and she believed in me.  That meant so much.  I never wanted to disappoint her.

Marcia had such a magnificent, strong voice and fabulous sense of humor.  I loved her laugh.  I will forever cherish my time working with her, learning from her about how to be a courageous, principled leader.  She stood up for what was right, she stood up for her staff and she stood up for children.  May we all have her spine.

Although I haven't seen you (Jay) and Marcia in many years, you hold a special place in my heart.  I always delighted in seeing you two together.  For me, it was a treat to see the softer side of Marcia.  Your love and appreciation for each other were so evident.  We all basked in your wonderful aura as a couple who enjoyed each other's company and each other's ideas - and had fun together.  The foundation she had with you gave her the energy, strength, balance and joy to achieve great things.

Marcia's lasting imprint is huge.  Her spirit, modeling and good will live on in so many of us.  I hope this is some comfort to you and the family.

My love and heartfelt sympathy.

Lin 

When I think of Marcia Hunt, I think of “WONDER Woman”
· Bigger than life
· Braver than the fiercest warrior
· With a heart so full of love, passion for making the world a better place and joy for living large that it burst on Thursday April 11, 2013 while having lunch with her childhood friend in NYC.

Memories will always keep Marcia alive for me:
My watching her transform San Francisco School Volunteers from a “good idea” to an effective force for community involvement in our public schools. It was inspiring.

When Marcia was moving into public information, (later lobbying) for SFUSD (San Francisco Unified School District) the staff of School Volunteers threw her a party. I’ll never forget Nina Clancey’s portrait of Marcia in her warrior woman mode getting ready for battle by putting both hands on her breasts pushing them forward saying something like “get ready for this battle!”

Then there was my candidacy for the SFUSD Board. She was incredibly helpful, encouraging and supportive. She was quite the strategist, kind of like General Patton

She made sure that I met all the women in SF from the NWPC (National Women’s Political Caucus) well before I ever announced my candidacy. It was at a garden party at DJ Soviero’s house. Most all the NWPC members would be there including Mayor Feinstein and City Attorney Arlo Smith among many others. DJ knew they would be there and she knew her next door neighbor had a HUGE marijuana plant growing his back yard. So she felt that she should warn him about what was happening and who would be there.

The evening of the party everyone noticed an enormous canvas which was wrapped tightly around the plant and thoroughly tied top to bottom with rope.
Every time someone asked about this canvas thing, DJ would say “I think maybe they are painting”. What they were painting was quite unclear.

After working nearly a year on my Board of Ed campaign, election night arrived. I’ve often said that my greatest strength is never occurs to me that I can’t do something and my greatest weakness is, it never occurs to me that I can’t do something. The results on election night confirmed the latter and I was devastated. Marcia said “come outside”; she put her arm around my shoulder and said “make a list – who were your friends and who were your enemies. You don’t have to write the list down but you MUST remember who they were. You also don’t have to do anything to your enemies, but you must always remember who they were. I’ve never forgotten that and I never will.

I also remember the parties at the Hunt’s. Marcia cooking and JB at his bar. Our family remembers most fondly those Fourth of July parties at Stinson Beach with the Hunts, the Rogers, there friends from Indiana and all the kids. The Kaufman’s contribution was always S’mores at the end of the meal.
Speaking of cooking, Stephen and I will remember the two lifesaving events involving food and the Hunts.

The first one was when we moved from our big house to our two bedroom apartment. Out of the blue, Marcia calls and says “I’m on my way with dinner.” Up the stairs she comes with this huge Le Creuset frying pan full of pork chops, potatoes, onions, etc. We ate everything in record time. The second time was when Marcia made and taught Stephen to make sausage and peppers. This is now Stephen signature dish, we have nearly every week. He has even made it in London where we eat out 99% of the time.

Another memorable time our daughter, Rachel, tried out for the “alleged”co-ed soccer team at Aptos Middle School. She did it more as a lark than anything else. After s a few days she asked the soccer Coach how she could find out if she had made the team. He replied that the list was posted in the Boy’s gym. She came home and mentioned it to me. I said, “Call Marcia Hunt. She is on the Title IX Compliance committee”. Rachel did. Marcia, of course, called the Principal that an unnamed student reported this situation. The Principal asked “By any chance did this student’s mother run for the School Board”? “Yes.” Subsequently, there was a meeting of the Principal, the Coach and Rachel. I don’t believe the co-ed team rosters were ever again just posted in the Boy’s Gym.

After being with Marcia at a luncheon with many folks we knew throughout the years we both agreed we should make a real effort to stay in touch. Thus was born the “Ladies who Lunch’ (Marcia, myself, Jo Anne Rose, Shirley Moore, Anne Warren) we all knew each other one way or the other and another funnier way – we all knew Stephen, from Crocker Bank. We decided to have lunch every quarter. This has resulted in some great lunches in San Francisco, Sacramento, Santa Rosa, Manhattan, Puerto Vallarta, and next month in London. I highly recommend this strategy – it’s expansive in every way.

As many of you know, Stephen and I arrived in London, Stephen with a work permit and me DETERMINED to be on the London stage. No one was more thrilled than Marcia. We talked often by Skype, emailed weekly and she constantly said “I’m so proud of you both”.

Last week I was in a Shakespeare class at Actors Centre in the West End. I was working on a soliloquy from Othello (Emilia) I went through the same material 6 or 8 times and each with a different focus. The last time the teacher said “Now say it again to a very good friend who you trust and to whom you can tell it like it is”. So I talked to Marcia. At the end the teacher said “Oh my goodness who were you talking to?” I said, “My friend Marcia Hunt”. The teacher asked “What is she like”. I told her the “Make a list of your friends. . .” story, Including . . . you don’t have to harm your enemies. You just have to remember. The teacher said “I’ve never heard that before – I am going home tonight and making my lists”. I called Marcia at home to tell her about it. But, sadly, I think she was already in Manhattan and never learned about it.

So what can we learn from Marcia Hunt?
· How to be a true friend
· How to make a difference in this world whatever we do.
· Life works when everybody is in and nobody is left out
· Remember, Women are over 50% of the world’s population. It is our right to:
        o Choose what is right for us.
        o Have our voices heard.
        o Have our talent and contribution acknowledged: educationally,financially and politically.
        o Be praised, encouraged, and recognized, for who we are & what we do.
        o Be allowed to learn to become and be the best we can in whatever endeavor we choose.

It is only fair we are the majority! Don't forget!.

Othello Act 4 Scene 3
But I do think it is their husbands' faults
If wives do fall. Say that they slack their duties
And pour our treasures into foreign laps,
Or else break out in peevish jealousies,
Throwing restraint upon us. Or say they strike us,
Or scant our former having in despite.
Why, we have galls, and though we have some grace,
Yet have we some revenge. Let husbands know
Their wives have sense like them. They see and smell
And have their palates both for sweet and sour,
As husbands have. What is it that they do
When they change us for others? Is it sport?
I think it is. And doth affection breed it?
I think it doth. Is ’t frailty that thus errs?
It is so too. And have not we affections,
Desires for sport, and frailty, as men have?
Then let them use us well, else let them know,
The ills we do, their ills instruct us so.

I had the great pleasure to call her Aunt Marcia (my mom is Jay B's sister).  Though we lived on opposite coasts and did not have the opportunity to be together all that often, when we did spend time together it was always memorable.

Just picture Aunt Marcia opening her home for a week to a braty 15 year old (that be me) from the east coast who was as stubborn as they get. She was very patient with me. II was not a very adventerous eater back in those days, but I was a guest in their home for a week, so i was trying my best to be respectful. Not going to lie, but as a teenager Aunt Marcia intimidated me a bit (after all she was smart, passionate, full of life, and way more liberal than what I had ever been exposed too), so if she told me I had to eat cauliflower I was going to eat it (I actually loved it and still one of my favorite memories).  That week I had so many enjoyable firsts - Ate Vietnamese Food, Mrs. Field's chocolate chip cookies (only a few made it home after the long plane ride), a picnic in Golden Gate park, a boat cruise to see the 4th of July fireworks on the Bay, a visit to the Japanese Tea Garden.  That trip was ages ago, but the memories have lasted a life time.

I was very fortunate that my present job had me in San Francisco several times over the last several years, so I had the opportunity to spend time with her.  The most recent trip was this past October, where Drew, Lily and I came for a visit.  Lily is a spirited child (the peditrician's new term for difficult) and I think it gave Aunt Marcia great pleasure (in a loving way) that Lily gives me a run for my money.  I think what gave her the most happiness was seeing all the kids interact and that we had a chance to be together as a family.

I am very thankful to have had such a positive role model in my life.  We may not have always agreed on every thing, but I know there was a deep level of respect and love that was shared.  She truly was a unique individual who will be deeply missed.  She lived a WONDERFUL life and we are blessed to have been a small part of it.

We love you Aunt Marcia!

Love,
Sarah, Drew, & Lily

Pete and I toasted Marcia tonight at dinner and told each other great stories about our remembering her. I asked Pete for a fun story he remembered and his was, amongst others, being a bit tipsy in the hot tub in various clothing attire at Ventana when it was brand new. Mine was sitting on the bed in Pekin (or was it Glen Ellen) after a busy night of over imbibing popping the packing material. I remember Marcia in her nightgown rather hung over, as we all were, opening the door for the packers. Great stories that will never go away.

Thank you both for wonderful times and memories.

I was at rehearsal when Ellen arrived and came over to me and gave me the devastating news about Marcia’s demise. I grieve for you and the kids as well as rejoice for having enjoyed Marcia (and her Mom) all those years in Girl Scouts where we first met. She was SOME gal! Then came the next phase of knowing her at Ridgefield High where we slogged together with the students. It was such fun having her be a teacher and Ellen a student of hers. The stories I heard about those class exercises! She was obviously a very gifted teacher and my child certainly grew in her class. Lucky Ellen.

That the two of you met and latched on to each other at IU just the way John and I did is also gratifying. I know something of the depth of your sorrow but I also know the comfort of a special life together as well as having great children to help you carry on. We are all grateful for her gifts to each of us as well as the fact that she did not endure a lingering suffering but left us so very quickly...and while having genuine fun. Who could wish for more?

My warmest feelings for all of you,

Hilda Jay 

My dearest friend died today. She was a very interesting woman in the most complex and challenging ways.

She was very smart, a leader and a problem solver who could drive confidently on unknown roads getting lost in the dark on Martha’s Vineyard.

She was an adventurous traveler who would try any dish (except maybe snake, or monkey or dog) who could talk with children anywhere, even on the streets of Hanoi as they begged for money and attention. “Why aren’t you in school” she would say.

She loved Italy and all things Italian (except maybe the men) but it was Mexico that was her second home and she took great pleasure in sharing her haunts be they a bakery, a street vendor, an art gallery or an artist who paints the fabric for the clothes she collected.

She had relationships wherever she was. People talked to her because she listened and they listened to her because she had something to say and they knew she was a real person who knew they were real people and respected them for the quality of their being and for their work.

My friend was very brave. She could stand up in a room full of political adversaries and speak her mind and her values. She could take them on even alone. She was fierce and passionate. People who didn’t know her thought she was hard because she could cut you through the heart with a simple look or a sentence. She was tough but she cried when you told her a sad story because she was empathy incarnate. Being Sicilian she would not forgive betrayal and being so intelligent she did not suffer fools, but being Marcia she had unlimited kindness for those who needed a helping hand or just a “hand up.”

You couldn’t have a better friend, because she had such a capacity for love and her honesty let you know exactly where you stood, always, all ways. She had that necessary attribute to know your flaws and love you anyway. Together we said goodbye to two dear friends and wrote their eulogies. She was a good writer (not all English teachers are) and we wrote well in tandem. She was generous and she was great fun.

I know she would say she had a good life. She had a great love and he thought she was the greatest thing that ever happened to him and of course she was. He was a feminist before it was fashionable and he was as fashionable as she was. They were a dynamite couple whose company you were lucky to keep.

Their homes were always warm and hospitable, always comfortable and smart and filled with color and art, especially as they grew older. They were great hosts and the kind of friends who made it their business to share in the pleasure of friends’ birthdays, weddings and joyous events, always adding to the happiness of the occasion.

I won’t speak to her skills as a mother as that is for the family to say, but I was always impressed with how she handled herself as a parent. She had clarity and I think that makes things easier for those who lived with her—or harder--of course that is for them to say. And then she had the joy of grandsons and the life she helped to create for them…

I write this as a friend, a friend of more than 40 years who, when bringing her 3-year-old son to nursery school, looked across the room and saw a woman with an Afro and great charisma. “Who is that?” I asked. “That’s Marcia Marchese Hunt.” I want to know her, I thought.

And so I did. Lucky me.